Beginning to Breathe, Again (Feral Steel MC Book 2)

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Beginning to Breathe, Again (Feral Steel MC Book 2) Page 9

by Vera Quinn


  “You said you were going to be here to talk to me so I didn’t think I would have much time to eat.” I look at her. I am taking her time that she should be using to eat. I should have waited to talk to her.

  “I could have waited.” She shakes her head. Mildred brings me my tea. “Thank you, Mildred.” Mildred walks away. Tara is eating so I wait and when she takes a drink she looks at me.

  “Talk to me. If you have something to say just spit it out. Did you have more question about my position at the gym? I don’t know what else I can tell you. I went over everything that I was responsible for when I worked there.” I think sticking as close to the truth without sounding like an asshole is the best way to go.

  “Devil thinks he may have a better position for you. It would be beneficial for you and the club.” She raises an eyebrow as if questioning what I am saying.

  “I’m not interested in getting involved with the Feral Steel MC except for a job at the gym. I don’t party like Sheila.” I laugh at her assuming we want her at the clubhouse. That gets me another eyebrow raise. Tara is so far from the type of woman that hangs around the clubhouse.

  Tara keeps waiting for me to go on but I like just watching her. There is something about this woman. I want to get to know her better but I know I have nothing to offer her. I’m not a whole man anymore. I get around well enough but I am not the man I once was. On my best days, there is nothing anybody can tell by watching me, but I know. A real man does not depend on drugs just to get a good night’s sleep. Hell, I haven’t touched a woman in so long I don’t even remember what it feels like to cum inside one. Something that usually doesn’t bother me but since I laid my eyes on Tara it is beginning to bother me.

  “That’s not what this is, Tara. There is a better position open. It has better pay and has a place to live to go with it so you can get away from your family.” Tara quits chewing and looks me in the eye. She’s trying to see if there is any deceit. There isn’t.

  “Why do you think I want away from my family? What type of person doesn’t like being with their family?” I think Tara is feeling a little guilty for wanting to be away from her sister and mom. I shrug my shoulders.

  “Doesn’t everyone want to grow up and move away from home?” I smile at her. I’m trying to get her to relax a little with me. Maybe let her guard down so I can figure her out.

  “Well, you have me there. So, what is this job? Right now, Bud is letting me stay upstairs. He needs the extra eyes on the place with all the burglaries around here, not to mention the destruction of property.” Tara is steadily eating as she talks to me.

  “Does everyone know about that? I don’t think that is really safe with the break ins.” Tara stops chewing for a minute.

  “I know Mildred already told you but no one else knows. I don’t think anyone will break in here and if they do, Bud is having a phone installed upstairs so I can call 911. If Bud thought it wasn’t safe, he wouldn’t ask me to do it.” I know I have planted doubt in her head. I feel like a dick for doing it.

  “All anyone needs to do is cut the phone wires. I don’t mean to alarm you. I just want you to be aware of the danger. No one has bothered the diner. It’s only shut down for a few hours a night anyway.” Tara starts to eat again.

  “That’s true.” Tara look up at me. “What is the job? I don’t have much time left on my break. I need to get back on the floor before we get slammed. I will tell you that I won’t leave my job here. Bud is too good to me and if nothing else I am loyal to people that I care about.”

  “That is a good trait to have, Tara, and that is exactly why we think you might be perfect for this job. The Feral Steel MC has bought a few of the businesses in town over the last year. We bought an apartment complex and we need someone to manage it.” I watch for Tara’s response.

  “I know nothing about maintenance.” I laugh.

  “Your position would have nothing to do with maintenance. That’s what a maintenance person is for. Most of the brothers will take care of that stuff. We just need someone on the premises to take care of the office like you helped Sal with. This is all in the early stages. You know, payments for the rentals, complaints of what needs to be fixed, showing the rental units, and processing the rental agreements. We have accountants to keep the books straight and Oz will be doing the background investigations. So, you see, not that hard. Oz is still doing your background check so we are still waiting on that to proceed but it comes with an apartment. I’m not sure how big it is but I bet it is bigger than the room upstairs.” Tara has finished her food and I can tell she is interested. “I’m sure you would get a sizable raise for it, too.” That did it. She can deny it all she wants. I know I have her.

  “Would anyone be able to live in the apartment with me? My family?” The way Tara says it I know what answer she wants.

  “No. If you were married it would be different but if you are talking about your sister and mother, then the answer is no.” She looks a little relieved but she smiles. The woman is beautiful when she smiles. I think this is the first genuine smile I have seen from her and it goes straight to my cock. I am getting hard from just her smile but she surprises me with her next words.

  “I don’t really think that is legal. If the residence is mine, I don’t think your club can tell me who can live there.” I know she doesn’t mean a word she is saying.

  “If it is stated in the contract and you agree to it then it is legal. The position comes with a contract.” I don’t know where I come up with that but I’ll speak to Devil and Oz about it.

  “So, this is a real job and not something you are just making up to help Oz’s friend’s big sister? I will consider the position if it is not a position made up because your club feels sorry for me.” Tara does not want a hand out. This I can honestly tell her.

  “This is a real position and if you do not take it then we will hire someone else for it. Same pay, same apartment, and the same contract. I promise you.” I don’t know why I do it but I reach across the table and take Tara’s hand and hold it. I feel a heat move up my arm from where our hands are touching. My hand tingles from her touch. I look at up at her and her eyes are on me. I know I feel something. I am not crazy. She folds her fingers into mine.

  “Do you feel that? That has never happened to me before.” Tara looks amused. I let her hand go. I need some distance. I can’t do this. I stand quickly and grab my wallet out and throw a five on the table. I know I am being an ass but it’s like I can’t breathe. I make a beeline for the front door. I open the door and the fresh air hits me in the face and I feel a little better. I look back at the booth and Tara is staring at me. I give her a head nod and I get out of there. I need to be away from here. I need the wind in my face, my bike between my legs, and the road stretching out before me. Maybe then I can think again.

  Chapter 12

  Tara

  I don’t know what just happened. Rome and I were talking. Discussing a job. Our hands touch and it was like I was jolted by electricity through my whole body. I have never wanted to kiss a man so badly. I felt my panties become wet. I embarrassed myself. I should have pulled my hand back. I should have pulled away not acted like a damn fool. There’s no way that a man that looks like Rome would want anything to do with plain me.

  I feel my eyes tearing up but I will not cry. I bite my lip, trying to keep the tears in check. I run my hand down my face and clean the table as best I can. I pick up my plate and glass along with Rome’s glass. I put my plate down and put the five in my apron. I pick my plate back up and move towards the front of the diner.

  I see Mildred watching me and I see the pity in her eyes. I set the dishes down in the tub where they go and walk up to Mildred and give her the five-dollar bill. I walk over and get the rag to wash the table down and I walk back and take care of the table. This day could not get any worse.

  I make it back to the front and put the rag back in the sink. I wash my hands and the bell over the front door goes off. I look ar
ound to see who entered and I was wrong. Liam and Sheila are walking in the door. Liam glares at me before they follow Mildred to a booth in her section. Thank goodness, I do not have to wait on the pair. I turn to go back in the back and the bell goes off again and there’s my mom, walking in the door. Great, now I know they are here for a reason. I am not lucky enough for her just to follow the other two back to the booth. Instead, she walks right up to me. I brace myself for whatever she throws at me.

  “Tara Sue Blount do not try hiding from me. Why did we come home this morning to all your belongings gone? No note, no nothing. I did not raise my daughter to disrespect me that way. We depend on your part of the rent and money for food in our apartment. You are one ungrateful little bitch after everything I have done for you and don’t think that I haven’t heard about what you did to your sister yesterday. How can you embarrass your family like that?” My mom is livid but I never once heard her say she didn’t want me moving out. The only thing she said was they needed my money. I can tell she has already been drinking and looking closer at her eyes I think she has been doing a little more than drinking.

  “Mom, would you lower your voice, please?” I am begging her. All the other people eating are staring.

  “Are you shacking up with someone? One of those damn bikers Liam said was in here yesterday? I did not raise you that way.” Okay, I have had enough. I cannot lose this job because of mom.

  “Mom, I am not even dating anyone. The men that were in here yesterday are the new owners of the gym I work at. Nothing is going on at all. Liam is the one that grabbed me. The men were just trying to get Liam to let me go. Liam and Sheila were drunk and being loud and Liam was completely out of line.” Mom rolls her eyes.

  “Really, Tara. You know Liam is just a friendly man. He was probably trying to get you to loosen up some. You are so uptight and there is nothing wrong with having a drink or two. Now, I expect you to go and apologize to Liam and your sister. When you get off work I expect you back home, and to show Liam and Sheila you are truly sorry I want you to pay for our lunch.” I can’t believe the things my mom is saying. I get manhandled by Sheila’s flavor of the month and they want me to apologize. Sheila and mom have men coming in and out of their lives like a revolving door and I am supposed to be raised better. Where does my mom get off judging people she doesn’t even know? I know I need to keep my cool, even if Bud likes me, I can’t embarrass my employer with a yelling match in his diner. I try to count to ten to calm down but it is not enough.

  “I need both my jobs to be able to afford to go to school. I have moved out and you and Sheila will need to plan to pay the other portion of the bills. An opportunity came up that was too good for me to pass up and maybe with saving some money, I can take more classes next semester. I am sorry I couldn’t give you a notice. When I get my paycheck this week I will be sure to get you a little money to help one last time. Sheila is always saying how much money Liam makes so I am sure he can pay for lunch today.” I try to keep my explanation short and put it in the nicest way, so as not to anger mom any further but I know it will not work. Mom puts her hand on her hip and I know she is just getting started.

  “How can you just up and leave your family? You and Joey are just alike. Always thinking of only yourselves. I’m not as young as I used to be and I can’t go out and just find any job. Liam may be Sheila’s man but he is not mine and I should not need to ask him to buy me lunch. If my own family does not feel the need to provide a meal for me then why would a stranger?” Mom is laying the guilt trip on thick and the sarcasm is dripping from every word. I look over at Sheila and Liam. Liam is still glaring and Sheila has a grin on her face. She knows what Mom is doing. I am glad to be getting away from these two.

  “I’m twenty-two years old, mom. Most women my age do not still live at home. It’s time for me to get out on my own and that is what I am trying to do. I would think you would be proud of me. Also, you are only forty-two years old. I need to get back to work. I will have Mildred put your lunch on a ticket and I will pay it on payday, but only yours.” I just want this settled.

  “I need some cigarettes, too.” Mom never stops. I dig in my apron and pull out a five-dollar bill and five ones and hand it to her. She never says thank you or anything but turns and goes back to the booth where Liam and Sheila wait for her. Mildred walks by me and I stop her.

  “Would you put mom’s lunch on a ticket for me? I will pay it payday. Only hers and only this once.” Mildred gives me an understanding look.

  “Are you sure, honey? Those two vipers don’t deserve your kindness and that man with them gives me the creeps the way he keeps watching you.” Mildred tells me.

  “I’m sure, Mildred but only this once. I owe my mom for taking care of me.” Mildred look at me like I just said the craziest thing.

  “Tara, that is what a mom does but I am not going to argue with you. You have trouble coming towards you.” Mildred goes to get some drinks to take to a table. I am lucky it is slow right now because Liam is walking straight towards me. He grabs my arm and pulls me out the door.

  “What are you doing, Liam? I have work to do.” I am pissed but the hairs on the back of my neck are standing up. I feel fear. I look at Liam and he has a look of pure hate in his eyes.

  “Listen, you little bitch, I am through putting up with your shit.” I feel his fingers biting into my skin. I am going to have a bruise. Liam pushes me up against the brick wall. My back will show the marks from that. “You can’t avoid me, Tara. I have been watching you. You are a real prick tease. I’m going to have you on your damn knees sucking my cock before this week is up and then I am going to put your ass to work for me, just like Sheila.”

  “Liam, I don’t know what is going on with you but I am not interested in working for you and you are my sister’s boyfriend so there is nothing personal ever going to happen between us.” I keep waiting for someone to help me but there is no one around. Liam starts laughing.

  “Do you really think I would call that used up cunt my girlfriend? She is a piece on the side and I throw a few bucks her way to be able to use her body any damn way I please. Hell, if I threw a few bucks Lena’s way I would have them both. You parade your ass around and act like you aren’t just like the two of them. You’re all three a family of whores and that suits my purpose just fine, so get with the program. The triple B is taking over this neighborhood and I am connected straight to the top. If you want employment so you can get that precious education then you will be bending to our will.” I look at Liam and he is thriving from the fear that I am showing. I straighten my back and just start saying whatever comes off the top of my head hoping it makes sense and will get him to back off.

  “This neighborhood is run by the people in it and they are good people. You and these people trying to barge their way in here don’t stand a chance. Some of these businesses have been owned by the same people for generations and the Feral Steel MC is buying some of the businesses that are for sale. You and your business associates are not going to scare them.”

  Liam goes stiff at my mention of the Feral Steel. He grabs me by the throat and hits the back of my head on the bricks. I can’t get any air. He’s choking the life out of me. I’m going to die and I don’t even know why but I was born to be cursed. He has my head bouncing off the bricks and I feel the warm blood running down the back of my head. I think I hear sirens but it is going to be too late.

  “Bitch, the Feral Steel is not even going to see the hurt that is coming their way but you are the first message. We are coming for Devil, you’re fucking protectors, and the whole damn Feral Steel Club.” That’s the last thing I hear before everything fades and I finally feel at peace.

  Chapter 13

  Kane/Rome

  The ride back to the clubhouse didn’t seem long enough but at least I can breathe again. I have let my mind clear. I park my bike and instead of going through the front I decide to go around to the side door and take a short cut to the gym room we have s
et up. It’s not anything extravagant just a weight machine, a weight bag, and a ring we use to get rid of stress.

  I walk in and rid myself of my shirt and set up the weights. I don’t know how long I am in the room. I get lost in my workout. Trying my best just not to think but I can’t erase one single innocent touch.

  My mind keeps going back to the sensation I felt from the light touch of Tara’s hand. No woman has ever affected me with one touch but I know something happened between the two of us in that moment, then I just ran. Why didn’t I seize the moment to push for more than a single touch? Disgusted with myself. I grab my shirt and walk out the door into the hall so I can go back to my room and grab a quick shower.

  I need to man up and go and talk to Tara. I’m not paying attention but I feel a hand reach for me. I just react. I swing around and grab the person behind me. How did I not notice someone behind me? I have the person up against the wall with my hand on their throat trying to squeeze the life from the potential threat but I see it is Honey Girl. I didn’t mean to do it. I didn’t know. I just reacted. My built-in reactions are all that kept me alive when I was in the desert but Honey Girl does not deserve this. She looks so scared. I release her and she grabs her throat and the terror in her eyes guts me.

  “Do not ever fucking sneak up behind me again! Are you trying to get yourself killed?” I know I am yelling but I can’t calm down, just the thought of what I might have done terrifies me. I could have killed this woman.

  “I just wanted to apologize again for the other morning. I’m sorry. I won’t ever do it again.” Honey Girl has tears streaking down her face. I know she doesn’t know the danger she was in and I feel sorry her. She didn’t ask for the monster that I am. I don’t know why but I pull her into my arms. I just want to comfort her for a second. To just take the fear away in her eyes.

 

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