by Jenn Hype
“I can’t work Friday afternoons. Every Friday from noon to four I need off. And I can’t tell you why, you just have to trust it’s important.”
“Done.” I sighed a breath of relief at Ian agreeing to giving me Friday afternoons off.
I still didn’t feel comfortable making that much money, but maybe once I found out more details about what I would be doing it would help. No sense in arguing over it now. If I needed to put my foot down and demand less pay, I could do that on Monday. Only my dumb ass self would be asking for less money. I couldn’t help it though. If I didn’t deserve it, I didn’t want it.
Chapter 19
Ian
After finalizing our plan to meet Monday morning, I walked Adalyn to the elevators. I had to keep reminding myself that this was an interview, not a date. I wanted so badly to pull her to me and kiss her deeply, but not only would that be unprofessional, but I was pretty sure she would slap me.
Still, I had made progress today. Never in a million years could I have imagined her reaction to everything about my work and my past that I had just dumped on her. She didn’t mock me, didn’t look at me like I was a loser. She didn’t even look at me with pity when I told her about Maggie. She looked…understanding. Empathetic. Everything about her softened and it was clear that our relationship was now heading down a different path.
It would be hard remaining professional. I wanted Adalyn so badly. In my life, in my arms, in my bed. But I was a realistic man, and I knew it would take time to get Adalyn to finally see me as someone she could truly be herself with. Hopefully all the hours we would spend together at work would only help our relationship grow. I would just have to be careful not to cross any boundaries at work. I couldn’t undo all the progress we’d made by further complicating things.
As the elevator doors closed, I turned on my heel and rushed back to my office. A lot had to happen before Monday. I needed to speak with the team about the new addition, had to have the lawyers working on the contracts, and I needed to get her a phone.
I couldn’t tell you why in that moment I had told her so many lies. Well, not lies per se. Just not full truths. Not the same. Not really, anyway. Okay, kind of, but what’s done is done.
So, no, not all employees got company phones in their own name. None of them got phones, period. And no, we don’t generally give sign-on bonuses to every new hire. That’s traditionally only given when we are acquiring someone with a unique talent that we desperately need for a project. And no, the starting pay is not sixty thousand. Well, it could be depending on what your position is, but since I had hired her for a non-existent position then the starting salary wasn’t necessarily on par with everyone else’s.
Why had I hired her for a position that didn’t exist and given all these extra perks? I didn’t know. I supposed I should ask my dick. I mean, my heart was definitely involved in the decision, but being near her and seeing that different side of her definitely caused the guy downstairs to start speaking his mind about things.
Yeah, I could be patient and try to win her over without having to bribe her with a job to spend time with me. But she was consuming all my thoughts, I couldn’t concentrate on anything. Maybe having her near me constantly would keep my mind from drifting so much.
Not likely, but worth a shot.
Plus, she really needed a job. It was my nature to help people. It would be the first time I hired an employee for an imaginary job just to help them, but it would work out. Adalyn really was talented. I didn’t know why she hadn’t gone to school for the arts. She was phenomenal, and with a little guidance, she could really flourish and become an exceptional employee. Whatever she needed, I would give her.
Somewhere, the radical part of my brain was freaking out. You don’t build a successful company by making rash decisions over a girl. Even when Maggie was controlling every aspect of my life, she never controlled my work. She had never even been to my “real” office on the top floor. I didn’t want her complaining and constant judgmental remarks bringing down the atmosphere.
Adalyn was different, though. Today was the first day in, I didn’t even know how many years, that I actually felt comfortable truly being myself. I needed that. I needed to be able to feel that way more. And maybe all my motives for helping her sounded selfish, but there probably wasn’t much I wouldn’t do for this girl already. As scary as that was, it was the truth. She had me spellbound, and I didn’t want it any other way.
Carrie came storming into my office early the next day looking pissed. Apparently word had gotten around about Adalyn coming to join us. I knew this would be an issue for her, but she would just have to get over it. I loved my baby sister, but she had a flare for the dramatic.
“What the hell, E!” She was standing right in front of my desk, hands on her hips, struggling for a breath. A light sheen of sweat was forming on her forehead and her hair was falling out of her ponytail. Long story short, she was a hot mess.
“You okay, Sis? You look…disheveled.”
“Screw you, I was working on the choreography for yet another stupid dance game,” she said as she tried to catch her breath. “That’s not the point! You hired Adalyn? Are you freaking kidding me Ian?”
I stood up from my desk and walked around to her, putting my hands on her shoulders. She was over a foot shorter than me, being as I was six foot four and she was five foot three. I had to bend my knees to look her in the eye.
“I know you don’t like Adalyn, but you’re going to have to get over it. There really is no reason for you to dislike her. You’re going to have to figure out one of these days how to deal with people you feel threatened by without lashing out at them.”
She shrugged my arms away from her and took a step back.
“Don’t, Ian. You know why I’m like this, you know I’m working on it. I was just staying away from her and I was dealing, but now I’m going to have to be around her every damn day! And I see the way you look at her. I know you think you feel something for her, but you need to be careful. I have a bad feeling about her and I just don’t want you to get hurt.”
“Carrie, you have nothing to worry about. I know what I’m doing. Adalyn is really talented and she’s going to fit in great here. My personal feelings aside, bringing her on is a good decision. You just need to get to know her. Just give it a chance.”
Carrie crossed her arms and started full on pouting. Temper Tantrum Carrie was the worst. Once she started acting like a toddler there was no reasoning with her. You just had to wait it out.
“Just go, Carrie. I’m not doing this right now. I don’t have to justify my decisions for my business with you. I appreciate you looking out for me, but nothing you say is going to change anything. It’s just going to start an argument and I hate fighting with you. Please, for everyone’s sakes, just find a way to deal.”
“Fine,” she puffed, making a beeline for my door. “But when she screws something up or breaks your heart, I’ll be there to help you pick up the pieces again like with Maggie, but you bet your ass I’ll be saying I told you so.” She started to leave, but stopped mid-stride, not bothering to turn around to face me this time. “Just be careful, E, that’s all I’m asking,” she muttered as she disappeared out of the room.
Carrie had been the one to help me get my sanity back after things went down with Maggie, even despite how much the situation affected her as well. If anything, what happened with Maggie was more detrimental to her than me. But Carrie stood strong and no one understood better than her the exact reasons why what happened with Maggie had caused such a blow to my confidence. I’d been shoved in lockers and had my face forced into toilet bowls growing up, but nothing made me feel like more of a loser than seeing Maggie’s face as she rode some other guy’s cock. I hit an all time low, didn’t get out of bed for a week. I was such a pussy. There wasn’t one insult you can throw at me about how I acted during and after my relationship with Maggie that I hadn’t already said to myself.
It was
a wake up call of epic proportions. I was a coward. I’d been hiding behind Maggie’s controlling bitchiness, using it as an excuse to not really put myself out there. I hated Maggie, but I hated myself more. So while I was laying in bed feeling sorry for myself, Carrie was the one packing up Maggie’s shit and throwing it out the window.
Literally. She threw anything Maggie had at my place out of the window of my apartment. Which was on the tenth floor. And it was raining.
The hysterical part of all of that is the bill I got in the mail from Maggie, demanding I pay her to replace all of the items of hers that Carrie ruined. I knew Maggie wouldn’t relent until I gave in to her absurd demand for repayment, so I had intended to just pay her and sever all ties. Carrie had other plans.
As I was picking up the phone to call my banker and have a check issued, Carrie grabbed my phone and informed me she had taken care of it already. Apparently, she had gone to Maggie and told her that the limo had video cameras in it and there was video of her debauchery. I’m fairly certain Maggie had to have known she was lying, but apparently she didn’t want to take the risk.
That was the last time I let my baby sister fight my battles for me. I loved her more than anything, but I’d been living so ass backwards for so long, it was time to man up. It took time and more pep talks with the mirror than I cared to admit, but I finally became someone I could be comfortable with. The only problem was, something was still missing.
I really thought I had overcome all the damage Maggie had inflicted. Although, to be fair, a lot of my self esteem issues started way before her. Being picked on your whole life does that to you. But I had managed to continue to grow my company and had become quite the ‘ladies man’ so to speak. I was no man whore, but I didn’t go long without a companion in the bedroom. I had a few close friends whom I shared a mutual agreement with of the no-strings-attached variety and everything seemed to be perfect.
Until Adalyn. Until I spent the day with her yesterday, having more fun than I’d had in years. In that moment that she placed my face in her hands and looked at me with so much understanding and compassion, that’s when I realized that I was only kidding myself. I was still playing a part. Just pretending. Every time I looked in her eyes it gave me more clarity as to what I needed to do, the reality I needed to face. I was done pretending and I wasn’t going to hide myself or my feelings any longer.
Soon, very soon, Adalyn would see just how great we would be together. And the best part, was I knew once that happened, she would be with me. The real me. And with that thought, I took a deep breath and accepted that my life would never be the same.
Chapter 20
Adalyn
I knew the lines had been blurred at my interview. Part of me still worried that he had only given me the job because of Stacy or because he thought he had some sort of feelings for me. But honestly, at this point, I was desperate. For the job, not Ian. Just to clarify.
“Ugh, Stacy, I don’t know what to wear!”
Stacy strolled casually into my bedroom wearing nothing but a pair of panties.
“Jesus, Stacy, get some clothes on. I love you, but I do not want to see you naked.” I threw my robe at her while I held my other hand over my eyes.
“Oh my gosh, Addy. We have the same parts. It’s nothing you haven’t seen.”
“Don’t remind me. If I ever walk in on you on top of some guy on our couch again, I swear I’ll move out. I’ll sleep on a bench on the street with homeless people. I am scarred for life now.”
Stacy just chuckled as she threw one of my t-shirts over her head. That girl had no concept of modesty.
“Just wear whatever, Ad. You said it’s totally relaxed there right? Everyone was wearing jeans and dressed down. So dress like you normally do.”
“It just feels wrong. This is my first day at my new job. It’s weird showing up looking like a bum.”
“Aha! So you admit you dress like a bum!” I glared at her and threw a shoe at her head. “Hey! Don’t get mad at me. I didn’t buy your wardrobe. You have way more casual clothes than dressy ones. You should feel way more at ease in your everyday stuff.”
I sighed. She’s right. I never cared this much about what people thought. In fact, my usual M.O. would be to show up wearing the opposite of what I was supposed to. Coz you know, I was a rebel like that. Or maybe just immature. Eh, semantics.
“I am not looking forward to working with Carrie,” I groaned as I pulled a light pink tank over my head. I pulled on a pair of skinny jeans and threw a pink and blue plaid shirt on over my tank, then slipped on my knee high boots.
“She’s really not that bad once you get to know her, Ad. She’s just got…issues. She means well, it’s just hard for her to open up to people. Just be patient and give it time. Plus, she doesn’t work there full time, she just does consulting so you probably won’t see her very often.”
“Stacy, you are the queen of bitchy comments and making things awkward. I cannot believe you are lecturing me on how to behave with someone. If this conversation were reversed, you’d be telling me to go fuck myself.”
“Okay, fine, you’re right. Do whatever you want. But she is my friend, she’s Ian sister and you’re going to have to work with her. So if you don’t want things to be super awkward and tense around her all the time, then you should probably take my suggestions.”
Ugh, I hated when Stacy was being rational. If only she listened to her own advice once in a while her life might be a little less dramatic. But hell, Stacy would go stir crazy without drama. An idle Stacy is a crazy Stacy.
“Alright, I’m out of here. I’m already cutting it close. I don’t want to be late on my first day. Although,” I said, spinning around on my heel, turning back to my bedroom. “Maybe I should pack an extra set of clothes in case what I’m wearing is stupid. I don’t want to be stuck in this outfit all day if it’s going to make me uncomfortable.”
“Oh my gosh, get out!” Stacy yelled, shoving me towards the door. “You’ll be fine, you look hot. In a cowgirl, virgin-esque kind of way. Just go or you’ll be late.”
“Okay, fine. I’ll text you later.”
“You know,” Stacy yelled down the hallway as I made my way towards the elevators. “If you threw your hair up in some pigtails and got a cowboy hat, I bet you could live out one of Ian’s fantasies over his desk!”
I swear, all Stacy ever thought about was sex. I couldn’t help but smile at the idea though. Stop it, Addy! Don’t go there! Shaking my head and forcing the aching feeling in my nether regions at the thought of Ian bending me over his desk, I pushed the button and sat back against the wall. Avoiding the temptation of Ian’s sexy body was going to be exhausting. I hoped I had time to grab some coffee.
The first two weeks flew by. I felt like all I ever did was socialize, but everyone assured me that it was important that we all know each other really well in order to work cohesively. I was still in training, so I mostly just did little tasks that were given to me by different team members, though they always asked me and phrased it as me doing them a favor. I knew they were just trying to make me comfortable and not come across as bossy. I appreciated their forethought.
Currently I was working on designing the packaging for a new water bottle the team had designed. It was my first real shot at doing something completely on my own, without having direction from someone else. I was given full reign on the design and it was stressing me out. Badly. Normally the pressure to do well would break me, but I wanted to prove myself. Instead of being afraid of failure, I was motivated to succeed.
It was strange. I felt…grown up. Don’t get me wrong, I struggled with this constantly. I went back and forth with myself, fighting the urge to cower and run. I didn’t want to mess this up. I wanted to be responsible for once and show Ian that I was worth the risk I knew he took on me.
He had no reason to trust me with this. Yeah, sure, he’d seen some of my sketches and paintings I’d done, but they wouldn’t be hanging in the Louvre anyt
ime soon. I always had the creative gene and once I put my mind to something, I generally would accomplish it and be proud of the results. The issue with that is that I only ever worked on projects that I actually wanted to do. It didn’t matter how exciting or fun it might have been, if I was being told to do it, I just simply wouldn’t.
This made my school age years extremely challenging for my parents. Luckily, my mom was very similar and was very patient with my stubbornness. Unfortunately, my teachers were a lot less understanding. I ended up doing a lot of extra homework to try and raise my grades after they inevitably plummeted from my refusing to cooperate.
Medial, mundane tasks weren’t the issue. Your standard, run-of-the-mill types of assignments were a piece of cake. It was the assignments that required me to think outside the box, put a little of myself into them and chance the possibility of failing that really did me in. My fear of failure was a great hindrance in my life and I wish I could tell you where it stems from, but probably only a trained professional would be able to decipher my crazy lack of self esteem.
Again, only with the things that actually mattered to me. In what ways did it hinder me, you ask? I think the better question would be in what ways didn’t it hinder me. All those school musicals I wanted so badly to be a part of? I just sat in the audience watching them. Having to audition was too terrifying. Not because I didn’t believe I was good enough. I was probably even a little full of myself when it came to some of my talents, but that wasn’t the point. Just because you are good at something doesn’t mean you won’t fail.
School wasn’t the only aspect of my life that suffered from this. My social life was a joke. All the boys who I actually found interesting and attractive were the ones I avoided. Several of them even tried to ask me out. I should have been excited, right? Well, I wasn’t. I was terrified. And when I get scared, I get cruel. So after laughing at a few of them after they attempted to date me, they quit asking.