The Husband Recipe

by Linda Winstead Jones

“The kids are asleep.” His voice was low, as if they were nearby and he was afraid he’d wake them if he spoke too loudly.

  “Good.”

  He didn’t make a move, not to come inside, not to tell her why he’d come back.

  “Did you forget something?” she asked. Yes, she had to look up, but it wasn’t so bad. She was content to just stare at him, to take in every feature, to soak it all in while she could. Perfect nose, stunning eyes, sharp, masculine, recently shaven jawline. And oh, the body… Maybe she should take Summer’s advice and invest in some very high heels, just for moments like this one. What would he think if she met him at the door wearing those high heels? And nothing else? “Yeah.” His response was almost a growl, a low rumble that Lauren felt to her bones. “I forgot what it felt like to want something so much I hurt.”

  Lauren’s gut clenched. Her heart did something funny and she could barely catch her breath. The timing and the situation were far from ideal. She hadn’t known Cole nearly long enough to feel so strongly about him. His kids were a complication; at least one of them hated her.

  But she knew what he meant when he talked about wanting something so badly it hurt. She was also ready and willing to take her own advice and stop overthinking. For the first time in a long while, she wanted to jump without a parachute. Cole made her feel like she could fly.

  Lauren stepped back and Cole entered her kitchen. She didn’t even try to fool herself about why he was here. She didn’t offer coffee or cake, didn’t pretend that he was here for conversation or to borrow a cup of sugar. More important, she didn’t suffer a single second thought.

  “What about the kids?”

  Cole kicked the door shut, never taking his eyes off her as he reached into his back pocket and pulled out the receiving end of a baby monitor. “The other half of this is in the hallway. If anyone gets up, I’ll know it.”

  Lauren grinned. “You still have a baby monitor?”

  “I use it when one of the kids is sick and I want to know if they wake up in the night.”

  “Handy,” Lauren whispered.

  “Yes, it is.”

  Cole pulled her to him, crushed her body against his and kissed her. Not like the first kiss, which had been tentative and almost sweet. Not like their kiss earlier this evening, which had been interrupted too soon. This was a devouring kiss, a sexual kiss, the beginning of something wonderful. There wasn’t a hint of hesitation in the way he held her, in the way his mouth claimed hers.

  He held her body against his so she could feel his erection pressing against her. He wasn’t shy, didn’t try to hide what he wanted. His tongue thrust into her mouth, and her knees started to go weak. She was such a pushover where Cole was concerned….

  If he made love to her she was definitely going to fall hard. If they took the next step—who was she kidding, there was no if here, no if in his kiss or in her response—she was going to be in over her head, drowning. Lost. She’d sworn to herself that she’d never again build her life around a man, and here he was, a man she could very easily give up everything to, and for.

  No if. It was nice, to simply give up and give in, to surrender to what she’d felt all along. The kiss went on and on, and as it did her world got smaller and smaller. There was nothing but his mouth and hers, the warmth and strength of his arms, the way her body thrummed.

  Cole’s fingers, warm and strong, slipped just beneath her waistband. Her heart took a leap, the deep tremble that had begun when she’d seen him standing at her back door intensified. He easily unfastened the button there with a flick of his thumb. Inside, everything melted. Lauren was a goner. She wanted him here and now. On the table, on the floor, against the counter…she didn’t care where, as long as it happened now.

  But a part of her, the cautious part that made sure every segment of her day was planned from beginning to end, insisted that she clear the air. He had to understand where she was coming from. Whatever they felt, it was just some freaky physical attraction. Hormones. Pheromones. She wasn’t out to trap him, the way his kids—Meredith, at least—seemed to think she was. For now, at least, she just wanted him in her bed. Neighbors with benefits.

  Because if it was all about the physical and nothing more, he couldn’t break her heart.

  “This is just sex, right?” she whispered hoarsely.

  Cole’s answer was somewhere between a grunt and a moan. It sounded affirmative to her. That was good enough.

  She unfastened the snap at his waistband and slowly lowered the strained zipper of his jeans. That was all it took for him to groan again and lift her off her feet. Lauren wrapped her legs around his waist, bringing them closer together, positioning herself so near to what she craved. They stood like that for a minute, so close but not yet close enough. Another minute and she’d happily have him on the kitchen floor.

  “Bedroom,” Cole growled, and Lauren responded by pointing toward the hallway. He carried her there, kissing her throat, her mouth, her earlobe. When they reached the doorway to her bedroom, where a soft night-light lit the way, he glanced toward the bed and moaned. “You’ve got to be kidding me. Is this a test?”

  Lauren turned her head to see what he was talking about, then smiled when she imagined how the neatly made bed with the mountain of carefully arranged pillows would look to him. “They’re just pillows.”

  “A lot of pillows.” He placed her on her feet near the bedside. “Please tell me they don’t have to be removed carefully and stacked in a certain order or color coded or…”

  Lauren turned, grabbed the edge of the comforter, and yanked up hard. Pillows went flying, this way and that. Up, across, onto the floor and to the end of the bed. Another shake, and they were all scattered on the floor. She turned to face him again and smiled up. “All better?”

  Cole smiled as he removed her top, pulling it over her head with more than a hint of impatience. He flicked the hook and eye at her spine with nimble fingers and removed her bra, slipping the straps down her arms and tossing the confining garment to the floor. Then he reached back and released her hair from its ponytail, running his fingers through the loosened strands. Slowly, with no more indication of impatience. He even took a moment to rake his thumb across her cheek as if he were literally savoring the feel of her.

  He very gently tilted her head to the side, then leaned down to lay his mouth on her throat, there on the curve where shoulder turned to neck. At the same time he cupped one breast in his palm and brushed a thumb over a very sensitive nipple. Lauren shuddered, and suddenly she was the impatient one. She placed her hands on Cole’s waist, held on so she wouldn’t melt to the floor. What was he waiting for? She’d never before been a real fan of the quickie, but then again she’d never been so ready for a man that her entire body trembled in anticipation. Tonight quick would be just fine.

  Once again his fingers slipped beneath the waistband of her capris, but this time he pushed them down along with her panties. Thank goodness! She stepped out, and stood before him completely naked, bared to her soul.

  Even though she was anxious, Lauren took a deep breath and attempted to grasp some control. After all, a moment like this one should be savored. She didn’t gobble down her dessert, she never read the last page of a mystery to see whodunit before she’d read the entire book, and there was no reason to rush now. Cole wasn’t going anywhere; neither was she. It wasn’t just the destination she was concerned with, it was the ride. And, oh, what a ride this was.

  Even though she was normally a modest person, Lauren wasn’t about to dive beneath the covers and hide, not when Cole was still fully dressed—unzipped jeans aside—and she wanted nothing more than to touch his bare skin. Besides, the gentle illumination from the night-light was soft enough to be flattering, and he looked at her as if he very much liked what he saw. She pushed his T-shirt up, her fingers relishing the warmth of his skin on her fingertips. Cole was so hard, he was muscled and tough in a way she would never be, and even though he was obviously as anxious as she
was, he allowed her to take her time. He allowed her to trail her fingers softly over his chest, to lean in and lay her lips there as she pushed the shirt up and over his head. He stepped out of his shoes as she pushed his jeans down and off. The sight of him naked made her insides quiver.

  He was gorgeous and hard and ready…and hers….

  Reality intruded like a splash of ice water. “Oh, tell me you came prepared.” When she’d thought about not overthinking, that hadn’t meant they shouldn’t think at all.

  His voice was raspy as he responded, “Do I not look prepared?”

  She smiled, touched him, leaned in so her breasts rested against him. He was so warm. Almost hot. “A condom, Cole. Please tell me…”

  He squatted and reached into the back pocket of his jeans, pulling out three wrapped condoms. A baby monitor and a three-pack. He was most certainly prepared.

  With the condoms in hand he lifted Lauren off her feet and gently tossed her onto the bed, where she bounced softly. He followed, hovering above her, spreading her legs with his knee, pushing her farther back on the bed. He leaned down and kissed her throat, sucking, sending her into overdrive, and then with a grunt he moved away to separate one condom from the others—tossing the remaining two to the bedside table, where they landed beside the baby monitor she hadn’t even noticed him placing there.

  He covered himself quickly, then returned to the position above her, close but not close enough. “It’s been a long time for me.”

  “For me, too.”

  He grinned. “I just don’t want you to have…unrealistic expectations.” Again he kissed her throat, then lowered his warm mouth to her nipples.

  Lauren almost came off the bed. Maybe she didn’t have much to brag about in the chest department, but her nipples were very sensitive. If he sucked there too hard she was going to be finished before they began.

  She reached down, wrapped her fingers around him and guided him to her. He didn’t need any more encouragement. He took his mouth from her nipple, slid up her body, and—with a little guidance from her—pushed slowly and completely inside her trembling body.

  The slow didn’t last, which was good because she didn’t want or need slow right now. She wanted power, force, quick thrusts to bring her quickly to the edge, and over. She came with a moan from deep inside her throat, and Cole came with her. Fast but powerful. Too soon, but also just right.

  He blew the top of her head off.

  If unwanted thoughts of love teased her muddled brain, for a moment, that was why.

  It had never occurred to him that three condoms might not be enough. Cole had actually thought he was being overly optimistic to bring so many. After all, it wasn’t like he could spend the night. The baby monitor would get him by for a short while, but eventually he’d need to go home, to his own bed. And no matter how much he wanted to, he couldn’t ask Lauren to come home with him.

  The fact that he had condoms at all had taken some planning. Talk about optimism. Slipping them into the cart at the drugstore had been an impulse, one he was very glad he’d listened to.

  He’d been in Lauren’s bed for hours, longer than he’d planned, longer than he should’ve been. But every time he’d thought about leaving, one thing had led to another and he’d gotten sidetracked. Seriously and completely sidetracked.

  “Where did you come from?” Lauren whispered as she settled against his side and cuddled there.

  He ignored the question, since he knew it wasn’t literal—and he didn’t have a proper answer to the real meaning of the question. She’d blindsided him. Had he done the same to her?

  After five long years, he felt like he was coming out of a fog, shaking off the dust. Where the hell had she come from?

  If he’d thought all they had was sex, the warning bells in his head wouldn’t be going off. If he believed for one minute that their attraction was strictly physical, his satisfaction wouldn’t be tempered with a healthy dose of caution.

  Lauren had been upfront about what this was to her. Just sex, she’d said. She didn’t need anything more from this new relationship than he did. His life would be so much easier if he could make himself believe that.

  “I need to go,” he said, but he didn’t move.

  “I know.” She didn’t move, either. Not a muscle.

  “I might’ve come prepared, but apparently I wasn’t prepared enough for you.”

  Lauren laughed, her breath warm against his side, her body shaking slightly. He loved her body. It was soft and giving and tight. She gave and took with total abandon, and made love with no holds barred.

  Dangerous woman, this one.

  He ran his hand along her hip, never tiring of the feel of her soft skin. He kissed her throat, loving the way she smelled and tasted. This woman could so easily become an addiction. Now that he knew what she felt like, smelled like, how could he not have her? Every day wouldn’t be often enough. And dammit, this wasn’t just sex. There was something more here, something special.

  He pushed his hand between her thighs, teased her with his fingers until she gasped and asked for more. He was so tempted to take a chance. Just one chance… But he knew better. As much as he wanted to be inside her again, he couldn’t. So he made her come with his hands and his mouth, watching her, amazed by her response. She called his name.

  Cole dragged himself out of Lauren’s bed. The single night-light was enough for him to see by as he grabbed his clothes and began to dress. He wasn’t in any hurry. A part of him really wanted to say to hell with it and fall back into bed and stay there all night.

  But he didn’t. As he dressed he wondered if Lauren was a luxury he could afford. He also wondered if he dared to give her up when he’d just found her. Even as ordered and freakishly organized as she was, he had a feeling slow was not her thing when it came to romance. If not for the kids he wouldn’t care for it himself, but he didn’t dare bring a woman into their lives when losing her would hurt them more than it would hurt him.

  Very nicely exhausted, Lauren grabbed her pillow, sighed, asked him to lock the door when he left, and then she drifted off to sleep. By the time he was completely dressed she was breathing evenly and deeply. He was so tempted to just crawl back into that bed and hold her for a while longer.

  But he didn’t. Cole grabbed the baby monitor and walked out of the room, wondering if this was a one-time thing or if Lauren Russell was about to become a very important part of his life. He didn’t see how they could handle anything in-between.

  He left her house by the back door, locking it behind him as she’d asked him to. At this time of night the neighborhood was quiet. There was the occasional chirp of insects, the rustle of leaves as a pleasant breeze kicked up…and that was it. No voices, no laughter, no crying or screams or demands.

  When he reached his own back door he stood there for a moment, back to the wall, eyes on the darkness. He drank in the quiet the same way he’d drunk in Lauren, with relish, with relief and with more than a little guilt.

  His days were usually hectic from start to finish. Hank liked to stay up late; Meredith was awake at the crack of dawn, with Justin not far behind her. Cole didn’t have any time to himself, not even half an hour to enjoy his coffee in silence. A short shower was usually the only quiet time he got, during a normal day.

  The rare quiet moments had been the best part of working and going to school in the past few years. Fifteen minutes alone in the car; half an hour in front of a computer; five minutes in a break room with a cup of coffee. But since school had let out and he’d become a full-time dad, moving to Huntsville, he hadn’t even had that. Parenting was a stressful job, and being a single parent should come with battle pay. He was pretty sure he was going to end up with post-traumatic stress syndrome.

  His poor mother. She’d been a single parent, and he hadn’t always been the best kid in the world. He wished he could apologize to her, tell her he understood now. What sacrifices had she made for him? Was he the reason she’d never remarried?
God, he hoped not.

  “Sorry, Mom,” he whispered to the night, wondering if she could hear, hoping that she could.

  Some days the hectic pace of Cole’s life didn’t bother him at all. Other days he wondered if he’d done the right thing, if he would’ve been better off letting Janet raise his kids while he continued to play ball. The money certainly would’ve been better. His life would’ve been centered around the sport he loved instead of around the kids.

  But the truth was, he loved his kids more than he loved baseball. What decent father wouldn’t? They’d needed him; they still did. That didn’t mean he didn’t sometimes wonder what his life would be like if he’d made other decisions five years ago.

  The kids were older, he was about to start a new job. It was time he gave serious thought to a life for himself. Maybe Lauren would be a part of that life; maybe she was just a temporary player in his transition. But whatever part she might play…Cole had a feeling his life was about to take a serious shift, far beyond a new job, a new house, a new town and getting the last of the kids in school.