Just Jack

by Meredith Russell

  “I’m so sorry.” What the hell was he doing? Embarrassing myself, that’s what.

  “Hey, are you okay?” Jack didn’t seem angry about the mess of a kiss Leo had instigated, just concerned and a little confused. “Let’s get you inside, yeah?” Jack rested his hand on Leo’s. Even against Leo’s chilled skin, Jack’s touch still seemed so much colder than anything Leo had felt before.

  Their eyes met, and something changed on Jack’s face, as if he had seen something he didn’t like. Leo pulled his hand back and opted to use the wall and the dumpster to help him to his feet. Dusting his hands on his suit pants, he eyed Jack.

  “Where did you come from anyway?” Quirking an eyebrow, he looked Jack up and down. “You just hang around waiting to play hero?” He couldn’t decide if Jack stumbling across him for a second time was fate or just plain creepy.

  Jack laughed, and his smile lit his whole face. His eyes sparkled with mischief as he stepped closer. “If you must know, I work here.” He pointed at the building they were standing beside.

  Leo stared at the brick wall. “The club?” He didn’t remember seeing Jack inside, but that didn’t mean Jack hadn’t been there. Leo hugged himself. The difference in temperature between himself and his surroundings was more prominent. Maybe he was sobering up.

  “Yes, the club.” Jack seemed to study Leo, his gaze lingering on Leo’s folded arms.

  Could he see how Leo was now shivering? A breeze blew along the alley, and Leo pulled his jacket closed.

  “Come on,” Jack said and held open his arms, inviting Leo to walk past him and head inside. “How about a coffee to warm you up? My treat.”

  Leo hesitated, but eventually relented. A hot drink sounded good. “Thank you.” He walked past Jack, glancing back over his shoulder when Jack fell in behind him. He briefly checked Jack out, coming to the conclusion that whatever the chances of seeing him again, whatever the coincidences, Jack was anything but creepy. Blinking, Leo turned away as the tightness in his chest eased. Maybe Mac hadn’t broken his heart entirely after all.

  * * * * *

  “How do you take it?” Jack stood on the other side of the bar. He waited for Leo to settle on the stool.

  “Black, please.” Leo rubbed his forehead. “With sugar. Lots of sugar.”

  “I’ll get it,” Abe said from behind Jack. He grinned and looked between him and Leo.

  Jack went to protest, but Abe was quick to walk away to the other end of the bar to fix the drink.

  “You all right?” he asked Leo.

  Finding Leo outside in the cold had unsettled him, especially when he had seen the brief but bright blue of Leo’s eyes, the waves of silver and blue in the air above him. The scene had stirred an unwelcome mix of regret and fear and flashes of what his life might have been, and Jack didn’t like it. No matter how much he thought he was over what had happened, what he had lost, and who he now was, there were moments that brought what few partial memories he had back to the forefront.

  “To tell you the truth…” Leo huffed a weary breath. “I’ve been better.” He gave a wry smile and leaned forward in his seat, resting his elbows on the edge of the bar. “You?”

  Jack looked into Leo’s eyes, pleased to see they had returned to their beautiful smoky green. Leo’s gaze still held a deep sadness, the sadness of a lost and confused young man. Straightening up, Jack looked down the bar. Abe turned away as their eyes met, a smirk on his face as he had been caught out spying on them.

  “I’m okay,” Jack said finally and focused on Leo. “But I wasn’t the one sitting outside in the snow.” Or trying to kiss strangers. Instinctively, he touched his lower lip, but quickly pulled away when he noted Leo watching him.

  Leo rubbed his hands over his face. “I’m an idiot.”

  “Personally, I think he’s the idiot.” Jack cleared his throat and closed his eyes. What the hell was he doing? “I mean, he’s not worth it.”

  “I used to think he was.” Leo pinched the bridge of his nose and massaged his eyes. “Sorry. Not your problem.”

  Leo was right, this wasn’t Jack’s problem, and yet he couldn’t help but feel something. He wasn’t sure what he was feeling, a weird combination of sympathy, the fact he could relate to the betrayal of another, and that for some reason he was actually moved to care about what path Leo might be heading on himself.

  Gently, Jack pressed a hand to his chest. His heartbeat seemed to echo through him, a muffled pounding in his ears. Maybe there was something more he felt for Leo.

  Impossible.

  “Here you go,” Abe said. He placed the mug of coffee on the bar in front of Leo, then pressed his hand to the small of Jack’s back, casting him a look before he headed back along the bar to help the other bar staff with service.

  Leo blew on his coffee, nursing the hot mug in his hands.

  “Is there anything I can do to help?” Jack asked. He didn’t know where the desire to help came from. He just knew he didn’t want to see Leo give up on love and life as quickly and as easily as he had. This was no life.

  A smile curled Leo’s mouth as he sipped at the sweet, dark liquid. Shaking his head, he lowered the mug to the bar.

  “It’s okay. My friends will find me in bit, tell me how stupid I am, and send me home to bed.”

  “You’re not stupid.”

  Leo shrugged. “Thanks, but I am. All this over some guy.” He pressed his lips together and stared thoughtfully into his coffee.

  “Love makes us do foolish things.”

  Their eyes met, and Jack felt something he hadn’t felt in a long time—the urge to reach over and stroke Leo’s cheek, to tell him it was going to be okay, to kiss him.

  It was Leo who looked away first. “My mom used to tell me that. She always said I was a fool when it came to love. Too quick to say I love you and serve my heart up on a plate.”

  “That’s not always a bad thing.”

  “Maybe.” He looked at his drink, and his shoulders slumped.

  Jack didn’t know what else to say. Leo seemed quite a sensitive guy, someone who wore their heart on their sleeve and was able to talk about feelings and stuff. Jack wasn’t good at that, partly because he rarely had a strong reaction to anything. Luckily for Jack, the awkward silence they had fallen into was broken as two people he assumed were the friends Leo had been talking about appeared at the bar.

  “You look like crap,” the woman said and slid onto the stool beside Leo. The man she was with stood behind her, circling her waist with his arms. “Could I get an orange juice, please?” she asked Jack.

  “Sure.”

  “So, have you had your moment?” The woman twisted her finger in a lock of her long blonde hair. “Screamed at the universe and ready to move on?”

  Leo laughed. He glanced at Jack and then at his friend. “I guess, yeah.”

  “Here,” Jack said. “On the house.”

  The woman looked at him curiously. “Oh, thanks.” She looked between Jack and Leo. “Is everything okay?”

  Leo opened his mouth, then shrugged. With a sigh, he said, “Ruby this is Jack. He…” Leo frowned.

  “I helped him out earlier today.”

  “Helped?” Ruby asked.

  “When I fell while I was at—” He shifted in his seat as he avoided stating where he had been earlier that day. “Jack played the Good Samaritan.”

  Ruby’s eyes brightened. “He did, did he?” She smiled, mischief on her face as she looked Jack up and down. “Nice to know there are still some gentlemen in the world.” She squeezed the hands of the man embracing her, clearly to ensure he knew he was included in the count.

  Gentleman? Jack wasn’t sure he deserved the praise. There were plenty of other people he hadn’t stopped for today or ever.

  “You should thank him, and I mean properly,” Ruby said to Leo.

  “I said thanks.” Leo looked uncomfortable.

  Ruby clicked her tongue in annoyance. “No, dummy, I meant like a drink or something.” She
turned her attention to Jack. “You’d be up for that, right?”

  Wow. Ruby clearly didn’t do subtle.

  “Ruby.” Leo winced in embarrassment.

  “It’s okay. He doesn’t have to.” Jack really didn’t want the fuss. Hell, it was his fault Leo had slipped and near enough knocked himself out.

  With stern eyes, Ruby looked at Leo, and it was clear Leo didn’t have the energy to argue.

  Spinning on his stool, he faced Jack and asked, “Would you like to go for a drink sometime?”

  Jack sucked on his teeth. He was taking too long to give an answer and he knew it. Shit. “Sure. Why not?”

  Ruby looked victorious, the man behind her gave a despairing look, and Leo looked like he was going into shock.

  “There ya go.” Ruby pushed Leo by the shoulder. Pleased with herself, she then plucked a straw from the box on the bar and turned her attention to her drink.

  “I am so sorry,” Leo mouthed.

  Jack grinned and shrugged off the concern. Taking a napkin from behind the bar, he jotted down his digits and handed it to Leo. “No pressure. But if you do want to meet up for a drink or a chat, call me.”

  “I will.” There was color in Leo’s cheeks. His pale complexion from earlier had vanished, almost like he’d thawed from whatever icy grip had taken hold of him.

  Nodding, Jack made his excuses and left the bar, heading out back. Stepping from sight, he leaned against the wall and rubbed his hands over his face. What was he playing at? He didn’t hand out his cell number or agree to go for drinks with men just like that. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

  Forget about it. Leo probably already has. Jack opened his eyes and stared at the wall opposite him. He couldn’t figure out what had his head in such a mess: the thought that Leo might call him, or the fact that he might not. Why should I care if he calls?

  “Problem?” Abe was standing in the doorway beside him.

  Jack took a deep breath and composed himself. “No problem.”

  There was a look in his friend’s eyes. He knew Jack better than to press further, or at least he should have.

  “Who’s the guy?” Abe glanced over his shoulder to where Jack assumed Leo and his friends were still sitting.

  “No one,” Jack lied.

  Abe folded his arms, stepped out of view of the bar, and leaned against the wall beside Jack. “Is everythin’ okay, man? You seem…” Abe shrugged. “Different somehow.”

  “Different?” Jack snorted a laugh. He hadn’t done ‘different’ in a long time.

  Abe wore a frown as he studied Jack. Whatever change he thought he saw, he obviously couldn’t put a name to it. “Okay,” he said. Jack had a reprieve for the time being. “Don’t think I’m leavin’ it there. Take your miserable face off to the refrigerators. The elephant needs to be finished for collection tomorrow at noon. We’ll talk later.”

  “There’s nothing to talk about.” There was no weight behind Jack’s protest, and he wondered why he even bothered.

  “Later,” Abe said and headed back to the bar.

  When Abe was gone, Jack held his hand out in front of him. Slowly, he turned it over, examining his palm and the back of his hand. Unnerved, he balled his shaking hand into a fist. What the hell was going on?

  Chapter 8

  Leo sat at one of the small round tables in the office kitchen and rested his forehead in his hand.

  “Poor baby,” Ruby said. There was no actual sympathy for his self-inflicted state. She and Nathan had taken it upon themselves to tease him at every opportunity.

  “Thanks,” he muttered and soothed his cool fingers over his brow, grazing the scabbed-over cut from yesterday’s misadventure. He had a pounding head and still felt sick despite hugging the toilet at four that morning. The memory had him desperately suppressing the urge to gag.

  “You know what would fix you right up? A greasy bacon roll.”

  Leo’s top lip twitched. He couldn’t face food, not yet. “Maybe later.”

  Ruby chuckled and sipped her coffee. “When is the presentation?”

  “Couple of hours.” Plenty of time to shake off his hangover.

  “Have you seen him yet?” Ruby lowered her voice, even though they were the only two people in the kitchen.

  Leo shook his head. He was torn between wanting to put off the inevitable and just ripping the bandage off and confronting Mac. At least if he got facing Mac out of the way, it might be one less reason for the nauseous grip on his stomach.

  “He sent me a text message this morning.”

  “And?” Ruby raised her eyebrows.

  The message had been cold and formal. “It was about work. Nothing else.”

  What had he expected? Or more importantly, what had he wanted Mac to say? Leo’s head was a mess. He’d pretty much run himself in circles trying to figure out what he wanted. One minute he was so sure it was all over between him and Mac. The man had cheated on him, and it hadn’t been the first time. But then Leo remembered all the good times when it was just the two of them, the laughter and the tender moments.

  “Don’t you dare forgive him.” Ruby looked at him pointedly. She knew Leo still held on to the picture-perfect image in his head of what his relationship had been like with Mac.

  Leo didn’t answer her. Even if he forgave Mac, he wasn’t sure he’d ever forget, not this time. This wasn’t office gossip, this wasn’t Mac confessing months down the line about a faceless fling on a business trip or an intern who was long gone. Leo had walked in on Mac getting a blow job. That image was an unwanted memory burned prominently into his mind.

  “Hey.” Ruby rested her hand over his on the table.

  With a sniffed laugh, he slid his hand from hers. “Don’t want to start any rumors.”

  “Honey, I know this hurts now, but it’s for the best.”

  How did she know what was for the best? Three years he’d put into him and Mac. Was it really that easy to just throw it all away?

  Mac was able to.

  “I need a piss.” The chair legs made a grating sound as he pushed his seat back. He squeezed Ruby’s shoulder as he walked behind her.

  Alone in the bathroom, he stood in front of the mirror over the basin. What he wouldn’t give for a cold, wet flannel. He lowered his head and turned on the faucet. He watched the water for a moment, then closed his eyes. The sound of the water running into the drain was weirdly soothing. Holding his hands under the faucet, he enjoyed the sense of calm that washed over him, or he did while it lasted. The bathroom door opened, and Leo raised his head. Any peace he’d found was quickly dispelled at the sight of Mac standing behind him in the mirror.

  “Hey,” Mac said. He pushed the door closed behind him and stepped forward. “I hoped we could talk.”

  Leo met Mac’s eyes. Shaking his hands, he turned off the water and reached for a paper towel. “I’m not sure now’s a good time.”

  “Well, I am.” Mac looked at him firmly.

  Sighing, Leo turned around and leaned back against the basin. “You’re about to give a presentation to the CEOs and you think now’s a good time to talk?”

  Mac pressed his hands together and chewed on his lip. He moved toward Leo and, after tapping his fingertips together, awkwardly touched Leo’s shoulders, barely making contact, as if he might be burned. “We need to fix this. You were upset, I get that.”

  “Upset? Try livid, embarrassed, mortified.”

  Mac ran his finger and thumb down the collar of Leo’s shirt. “I love you.” His voice was low and seductive as he smoothed his hands over Leo’s. “You’re going to throw what we had away, just like that?”

  Leo reached for the basin behind him, welcoming the cool, solid surface. He’d thought maybe Mac was going to apologize. Guess he was wrong.

  “I thought you loved me.”

  With a sniffed laugh, Leo shook his head in disbelief. How could Mac even pretend this was Leo’s fault? “And I thought you loved me. Guess we were both wrong.”
>
  “I’m an idiot. I know that. You know that. And you also know I do love you.”

  Leo closed his eyes as Mac dared to stroke his arms. He could feel Mac’s touch, warm through the material of his shirt. He felt cornered, trapped. Mac was taller than him, a couple of inches over six foot, but those extra inches were intimidating with Mac so close.

  “You can get past this.”

  Opening his eyes, Leo looked into Mac’s hazel eyes. “That’s the thing, though. I shouldn’t have to.”

  Mac went to say more, but shut his mouth when the bathroom door opened and Nathan walked in.

  “Oh, hey, sorry. I can come back…” Nathan waved his hand toward the door.

  “Yeah, could you?” Mac said flatly.

  “It’s okay.” Leo slid from between Mac and the basin. “We’re done.”

  Mac tensed his jaw, but when Nathan didn’t leave, he chose to instead.

  Nathan flinched when Mac’s hands slapped the back of the door. “Charming as always.” Nathan glanced at Leo and raised one of his dark eyebrows. “Quite the catch you had there.”

  “Weird thing is, I didn’t think he’d care.”

  Nathan joined him at the sinks. “Care?”

  “Enough to want me back.”

  Nathan leaned back, dipping his head as he offered his opinion. “Do you know what most guys really want?”

  Was that a trick question? “Sex?”

  Laughing, Nathan shook his head. “Well, there is that, but mainly they want what they can’t have.” He folded his arms and expanded on his theory. “If he had you, he’d be looking for that next thing, that something different or better or younger or more exciting.”

  “So he wants me because he can’t have me?”

  “Basically. Plus you’ve been his safe zone for years. Always there to play with when he feels like it.”