Just Jack

by Meredith Russell

  Once Jack returned, Leo took his turn in the bathroom.

  “Do you have work tomorrow?” Leo asked as he got back into bed.

  “Not until late.” Jack had his eyes closed, his hands resting over one another above the bedsheets.

  Leo lay beside Jack, taking opportunity of the quiet moment to study the man’s profile.

  “It’s rude to stare.” Jack turned his head.

  Leo lowered his gaze. “I just…” He took a deep breath, then looked at Jack. “Thank you. For tonight. I had fun.”

  Jack rolled onto his side. His gaze dropped to Leo’s mouth before he leaned in to kiss him. “I had fun too,” he said in a soft voice.

  The smile that spread across Jack’s lips had Leo’s stomach turning over itself. Jack was so handsome, so sweet and gentlemanly. Leo leaned behind him, switching off the bedside lamp. Settling back down, Leo tried to suppress the jolt of happiness within him as Jack rested a hand on his waist above the covers and kissed him once more.

  Jack had to be too good to be true.

  Chapter 12

  Jack studied the man lying beside him. He smiled as he admired Leo’s long lashes and flushed cheeks in the early morning light. The combination of sex and alcohol had drawn Leo into a deep sleep. Jack wished he could join Leo in slumber, but instead he’d lain quietly for a while, staring up at the ceiling and thinking about what-ifs. Eventually, he had given up torturing himself with memories and thoughts of a future he couldn’t have, and though he felt like some creepy stalker, Jack had spent the last hour simply watching Leo sleep.

  Why am I still here? He chewed on his lip as he looked at Leo. The man looked so happy and content. Jack leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Leo’s forehead. Jack drew his gaze downward over Leo’s body. The man’s legs were wrapped in the tangled bedsheet, the dark purple material loosely draped over the small of his back. Jack breathed in deeply, his eyes never leaving Leo. Narrowing his eyes, Jack raised his hand in front of him. He stared at his pale skin and the deep blue of the veins at his wrist. He reached out, ghosting his fingers across Leo’s shoulder. As if on cue, the fine hairs across Leo’s skin stood to a shivering attention, and Leo stirred, hugging his pillow as he sought warm comfort away from Jack’s cool touch.

  Sadness clutched at Jack’s chest. He thought back over his time with Leo and the way the man had made him feel, really feel. “Getting old, Jack,” he told himself. “Imagining things.”

  Getting off the bed, he dressed in silence. There was no point in hanging around. He was just the rebound guy after all, or at least that’s what he’d been telling himself for the last hour. The way Leo had looked at him last night had told a different story, but Jack couldn’t think like that. He liked Leo, and that’s why he needed to leave. He didn’t want Leo getting hurt, be that physical hurt or a broken heart when he discovered Jack couldn’t love him back.

  Getting ahead of yourself again, Jack. Love was maybe too strong a word, or maybe it wasn’t. It didn’t matter anyway. No matter how Leo felt about Jack, Jack could never return those feelings.

  Briefly, Jack stopped in the doorway of the bedroom and took one last look at Leo. The man was beautiful inside and out, and he deserved someone better than that Mac guy, better than Jack. He deserved someone who could really love him. The urge to kiss Leo one more time struck at Jack’s chest. He couldn’t risk waking Leo and having some beyond awkward conversation about how this couldn’t happen. They were going nowhere. Leo was on the rebound, and clearly Jack had been drawn to Leo and his situation. He just felt sorry for him, right? Sympathized with where Leo could have been heading all because that dick Mac had broken his heart. That was why they had met, so Jack could save Leo from himself, save him from a life like Jack’s of ice and bitterness. With a sad smile, Jack slipped from the room, then the condo, and assured himself Leo was going to be okay.

  Snow had fallen overnight. Jack took in a deep breath as he stepped outside the condo building. It was a little after five in the morning, and the air was fresh and chilled. He glanced up at what he figured was Leo’s window. Would Leo even notice Jack had gone? Jack pressed a hand to his chest. But more curiously, Jack began to wonder if he actually cared about whether Leo would miss him or not. Jack couldn’t explain what it was he had felt the last couple of days, but it was unnerving. Did Leo have something to do with it? Was it the fact Jack had pretty much stopped him from turning into a Frost right there in that alley? He looked from the window to the sky. Maybe Mother Nature hadn’t appreciated him interfering. He curled his fingers in the collar of his shirt. Was it possible she could do this? End him?

  Jack blinked as the wind whipped up around him and leaves were swept from the ground to circle him. Was that supposed to be some kind of answer?

  “Very helpful,” he said to the sky. His gaze drifted briefly back to Leo’s window. He should leave, before he fooled himself into thinking he really did care. Pushing his hands into his jacket pockets, he started the long walk toward the club.

  * * * * *

  With a grunt, Jack slid to the floor and leaned back against the cooler. Stretching out his legs, he pressed the toes of his shoes to the bottom shelf at the back of the bar. He eyed the rows of clean glasses as he removed the cap from the bottle of soda. Resting his head back, Jack took a drink, then closed his eyes. He had spent the morning working on the fairground- and toy-themed ice sculptures for Wednesday’s party at the Silverstorm. He had maybe thrown himself into his work a little too keenly, as now he felt exhausted from having worked to perfectly form and shape the figures in ice.

  Wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, Jack thought on his plans for the rest of the day. He didn’t feel in the mood for fun and games, so figured his time would be best spent here at the club.

  The sound of keys in the door drew Jack’s attention. What the hell time was it? He glanced at his bare wrist, then eyed his pockets in search of his phone. He squinted as the lights flickered on above his head. He didn’t want company right then. He watched the space at the end of the bar, waiting for who he guessed was Abe to walk by.

  He had guessed wrong. “Hey,” he said as Misha appeared.

  “Holy-fucking-crap-piss.”

  Jack looked up at Misha and smirked. The kid looked pale and wide-eyed. “You okay?” he asked.

  Misha raised a hand. “I’ll let you know when my heart stops racing.” He took a breath and stepped back to sit on a stool at the bar. “What the hell are you doing back there?” He quirked an eyebrow.

  “Taking a break.” Jack got to his feet and rested the open soda on the bar.

  “Right,” Misha said. He looked up at Jack. He seemed wary. “Have you been here all night?”

  Jack shrugged. “A few hours. Why?”

  A smile teased Misha’s mouth. “So you haven’t been home.”

  How did Misha figure that?

  As if he’d read Jack’s mind, Misha nodded to Jack’s chest. “Last night’s clothes.”

  “Oh.” Jack instinctively reached for his collar, buttoning a couple of extra buttons. “Couldn’t sleep. Thought I might as well do something useful with my time.” He waved a hand to behind the bar where the large refrigeration units were. He ran a hand back through his disheveled hair. He must look a mess. “No Abe this morning?”

  Shaking his head, Misha rested his elbows on the bar and leaned forward. “He asked if I’d do him a favor. Apparently, his kid puked this morning and Brienna—that’s right, isn’t it? She’s at work. Figured I couldn’t say no if I wanted to keep my job.” The tone of his voice changed as he reached the end of his explanation.

  Jack looked at Misha. Was overenthusiasm really such a bad thing? “Look, as far as I’m concerned, the job’s yours.” He relaxed his shoulders. “I don’t see Abe saying anything to the contrary. So, yeah, if you want it, it’s yours.”

  Excitement brightened Misha’s face. “Seriously?” He let out an excited squeal and did a muted bounce in his seat. “Thank you, th
ank you.” He leaned across the bar and caught Jack in a one-armed hug, pulling him forward.

  Though the moment was a little uncomfortable, Jack appreciated the sentiment. “But this doesn’t mean you can slack off from now on.”

  Misha sat back down. “As if, man.” He grinned, jumping slightly as his phone chimed in his pocket. “Alice is going to be stoked.”

  Who’s Alice? In all the times Misha had talked at Jack, Jack didn’t recall Misha mentioning her before. He really should start to take an interest in the people he worked with. That was the human thing to do, right?

  Misha pulled his phone out of his pocket and smiled. “Speak of the devil.” He glanced at Jack. “My girlfriend. We live with her parents at the moment. We’re trying to save for our own place.” He texted a reply to whatever message he’d received. “Anyway, Abe gave me a list.” He put away his phone and pulled out a crumpled piece of paper. “An actual list. So, I’m going to get on it and catch up with you later.” He jumped off his stool, pulling off his coat as he headed out the back.

  Jack enjoyed the brief silence before his own cell phone sounded. With a sigh, he noted Abe’s name on the screen. “Hello,” he answered.

  “Good mornin’ to you too,” Abe said cheerfully. “Thought I’d call and say I’m runnin’ late. Neve, need I say more? I’ve asked Misha to open up—”

  “I know,” Jack interrupted. “I’m already here.”

  “Oh. Thought you’d be up to your neck in croissants and coffee.”

  Croissants and coffee? “What?”

  “He looked like a guy that might cook you breakfast in the mornin’.”

  “It wasn’t like that.”

  Abe clicked his tongue. “Sorry. He kicked you out, then?”

  “No.” Jack sighed and turned around to lean against the bar. “I left.”

  “You left? Why?” Abe actually sounded clueless.

  “It was for the best.”

  “For who? When exactly did you leave? Please tell me you didn’t sneak out while he was asleep.”

  Jack’s silence was answer enough.

  “What? Seriously? Given how much life experience you’ve had, you are one hell of a dumbass sometimes.”

  “Well, thank you.”

  “You’re gonna call him, right? Text? Do somethin’?”

  Closing his eyes, Jack massaged his neck. “It’s complicated, and you know that.”

  Abe seemed to get frustrated. “No, it’s not. You’re just a coward.”

  Jack couldn’t help but laugh.

  “What’s so funny?”

  “You… You sounded a hell of a lot like your dad just then.”

  There was a beat as it seemed he and Abe shared a moment of reflection.

  Jack opened his eyes. “He always was the clever one, your dad.”

  “Look, Jack, I get it, I do. I know havin’ to explain in twenty, thirty years’ time why you haven’t aged a single day is a big deal. But surely, there must be someone out there worth sharin’ your secret with. You did it with Dad, me, Brienna, and I hope you will with Neve one day. It’s scary and big, but we’re still here.” Abe paused. “Or is that what you’re scared of? That one day we won’t be? That he won’t be?”

  Raising his head, Jack looked at the ceiling. The thought of being alone didn’t scare him. He had been alone before, and he could be alone again. “It’s me,” he stated.

  “You?”

  “What if I hurt him?”

  Abe made a sniffed sound of disbelief. “You wouldn’t hurt anybody.”

  “We both know that’s not true.”

  “Laying some ice for someone to fall on doesn’t make you a bad person.”

  “Maybe.” As a rule, Jack didn’t stick around beyond the initial chaos his trickery might cause—people falling down, the broken bones, cars skidding, colliding. He was sure he’d caused more hurt than a bump to the head or a fractured arm. He didn’t think about how serious things could really be, the far-reaching ramifications his actions might hold. He never had. That wasn’t who he was or how he was designed to be. Those feelings didn’t exist, or at least he had been sure until recently they didn’t. With Leo and how he thought he had felt, Jack was confused. What did any of it mean? Did it mean anything at all, or was it a pipedream, some trick in return from Mother Nature?

  “You’re a good man, Jack.” Abe was unwavering in his insistence. “And I think you should call him.”

  “And what?”

  “Tell him you were an idiot for leavin’.” The sound of Neve calling for her daddy came over the phone. “You deserve to be happy, Jack. Or as happy as happy gets for you. Comin’, baby,” he called to his daughter. “I have to go, but you know I’m right. I’ll see you later.”

  “Yeah, bye.” Jack hung up and eyed the stools on the opposite side of the bar. He tilted his head, remembering how Leo’s friends had sat there just the other night. They had made it look so easy, sharing moments, laughing, touching, kissing.

  The phone in Jack’s hands had never felt heavier. Could he really have someone for himself? Could he be someone Leo or anyone else could love? He eyed the dark screen.

  Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

  Chapter 13

  “He left? And you let him?” Ruby hugged her coffee in two hands and gave him a despairing look.

  Leo folded his arms across his chest and leaned back against the kitchen counter. “I was asleep. I didn’t really get much say in him staying or going.” He rubbed at his eyes and yawned.

  “He tired you out, then?” Ruby smirked.

  “Something like that.” Leo squinted in the bright light shining through the kitchen window. “Why are you so interested anyway?”

  Ruby shrugged and sipped at her coffee. “No reason really. I guess I just hoped you’d had a good time, and, you know, it had helped you forget about Mac.”

  “I think it’ll take more than a night out for me to forget about Mac.” He took a deep breath. “Though deep down I knew he wasn’t, I really wanted him to be the one. I thought we were in love.”

  “I don’t believe in that stuff,” Ruby stated. “Finding the one is a load of nonsense and should be left to those movies you love so much.”

  “I hope you didn’t break it to Nathan like that.” Leo chuckled.

  “Nathan knows I love him. I married him, after all. But I think it’s more a case of him being the one for me right now. Forever is a long time. People change, we fall in and out of love.” She pressed one of her hands to Leo’s chest. “Sometimes we have to listen to this. Your heart knows when something feels right or wrong.”

  “Maybe.” He figured he had known things weren’t right between him and Mac for a long time. Sure, Mac had given him a key to his apartment, but things between them had never gone beyond that. And it hadn’t been just Mac putting it off. Leo had been reluctant to give up his own place, and thinking back, he must have known, really known Mac would never change no matter what Leo had wanted to believe. He’d tried to forgive and forget Mac’s previous transgressions, but he couldn’t. They’d always been there, just out of sight, but always there.

  Ruby patted him on the chest. “So, how was last night? Did you have fun?”

  Leo smiled as he nodded. “Have you ever met someone and just clicked? Everything was so easy with Jack. He was good to talk to. We had some drinks, got pizza. He came back here, and, well, we… you know?”

  The smile on her face indicated Ruby did know.

  “As distractions go, Jack was one of the best. I know it’s not going anywhere. He left without so much as a good-bye, but it was like drawing a line under me and Mac, you know? Like saying I’m ready to move on?”

  “You mean you’re not going to be sitting in your PJs with a tub of choc chip ice cream, weeping at chick flicks?”

  “No, I don’t think I am.” Yes, catching Mac and that guy together had been a shock, and yes, for one dark moment, Leo had felt like he’d had his heart ripped out and it might as well
have been the end of the world. But it hadn’t been. His heart was still beating, and the world still turned. Just because Mac was a total idiot, it didn’t mean Leo should be the one to pay the price and hide away.

  He glanced at Ruby. “Is this where you break out great pearls of wisdom like there are plenty more fish in the sea?”

  Ruby screwed up her nose. “Nah. You don’t need me to tell you that.” She bumped her shoulder to his in a show of support.

  The silence they fell into was disturbed when Leo’s cell phone vibrated on the counter.

  “Anyone interesting?” Ruby eyed the phone when Leo picked it up.

  “It’s, erm…” He read the text message again. “It’s Jack.” He glanced at Ruby, whose interest was piqued.

  “And?”

  “He wants to get coffee.”

  “I’d expect an apology with that coffee.” She took a drink from her mug.

  “I—”

  “But you’re going, right?”

  Was he? “I don’t know.”

  Ruby looked at him firmly. “You’re going,” she stated.

  Did he dare argue with her? “Fine,” he relented. It was just coffee, after all.

  * * * * *

  “So, we’re okay?” Jack asked. He smiled when Leo lifted his head from where he had settled his attention on his drink.

  “Yeah. Apology accepted.”

  Jack relaxed when Leo returned his smile. He must have sounded like a complete douche bag, claiming he had left for Leo’s benefit, so the man could save face and not have to wake to find his one-night stand still in his bed. Whether Leo really believed his rambled excuse, he didn’t know, but Leo hadn’t stormed out or punched him or anything else. In fact, Leo looked okay, more than okay. Jack closed his eyes, reining in his appreciation of Leo.

  “I didn’t want you to think you owed me anything.” He opened his eyes to find Leo watching him. He swallowed back the desire to reach across the table and kiss Leo. For a fleeting moment, he couldn’t think of anything he’d ever wanted more. What was wrong with him?