Eraser Amber

by Megan Keith

  “Mackenzie, I …”

  “What?” she asked when he didn’t say anything more.

  “May I?” He motioned to the sofa. She nodded and he sat on the end cushion near her feet. “I want you to understand why I had your records looked into ...”

  “Go on.”

  “I had to trust you.” Mackenzie scoffed, but he continued, “If I knew all I could about you then I’d be able to catch you in any lie. That’s why I did it.”

  “So you did it in the hopes of catching me out? You said you wanted an honest relationship with me but you were the one that was deceitful.”

  “Please don’t take it personally, Mackenzie. It was purely for self-preservation. Like you, I’ve never allowed people to get close to me.”

  Mackenzie mulled it over a moment before saying, “That’s no excuse.”

  “No, it’s not. I’m not trying to make excuses, I’m offering an explanation. I’m sorry.”

  He was talking to her in that detached business tone that got on her nerves. She didn’t like it. Nevertheless, she knew she owed him an apology, too. “I’m sorry for the way I reacted.”

  “You have nothing to apologize for.”

  “I do. You have no idea how sorry I am for what I said at the hospital, for telling you to go and for kicking you on the street, too.”

  “I never meant to hurt you, Mackenzie.”

  His dark eyes were hard to read. Mackenzie noted that, even though he had explained his actions, and apologized, he still hadn’t said he wanted to be with her. He was still withdrawn and emotionless, and it made her uncomfortable. “Nate, thank you so much for all that you’ve done. For taking care of me. But I think it would be best if I go back to my apartment now.” Time to begin moving on with my life.

  “What? Why?” His eyes drilled into her and she had to look away.

  “I’m feeling much better and I’d feel more comfortable in my own home.” She played with her fingers in her lap and tried to fight the impending tears.

  “Who will take care of you?”

  “I’ll manage.”

  Nate sighed, maybe space is what she needs. “If that’s what you really want. But I insist on organizing a nurse to come and take care of you.”

  His words cut her like a knife. She didn’t want a stranger taking care of her, she wanted Nate. She couldn’t hold it in anymore, her whole body began heaving, sobs racking her. She clung to her sides as she folded over onto herself, tears dropping onto Nate’s robe. She sniffed and could still smell his scent on it. It made her head swarm with sadness. She was hurting so bad. She buried her face in her hands and cried even louder.

  “What’s wrong?” Nate asked, crouching down on the floor beside her. Her sudden loud cries had him worried. “Are you in pain?”

  She nodded.

  “Come on, let’s get you back to bed. You’re in no state to be going back to your apartment right now.” Before she could argue, he lifted her from the sofa and carried her to her room. He lay her on the bed and she rolled away from him. He sat beside her and leaned over to stroke the long dark hair against her back. “Do you want more painkillers?” She shook her head but didn’t speak. “Where does it hurt?”

  The suddenly concerned voice combined with the feel of his hand against her back, caressing her and touching her hair, only made matters worse. She wanted the contact but couldn’t take another moment of it. Not when it was over between them.

  She rolled toward him, onto her back and looked up at him with those beautiful jade eyes that were full of tears. He hated seeing her so upset. He reached for her cheek, but his hand paused mid-air when she spoke.

  “It hurts here, Nate,” she said, clutching her hands to her rapidly beating chest. “You’ve given up on me and it fucking hurts here.”

  “What?” Nate took a moment to replay the words in his head. He wanted to make sure he’d heard her correctly. “You’re crying because you think I’ve given up on you?” Her water logged jade eyes blinked at him.

  “You don’t want me here and I can’t stand it!” Her voice was full of mixed emotions.

  “Of course I want you here!”

  “You’re so cold toward me. You won’t even look at me half the time. Where’s that cocky son of bitch that tied me up against my will, huh? Where’s the guy who wouldn’t give up?”

  “You kicked him out! Remember? You wanted me gone Mackenzie, I was trying to do what you want-”

  “I’d prefer to pack my bags than stay here and spend another moment like this with you!” she yelled.

  “You’d prefer to walk away because you think I don’t care? I fucking care Mackenzie! Would I have you here if I didn’t? You don’t get to push me away again. I won’t let you walk away from this!” He softened his tone and finally admitted, “I don’t want this to be over.”

  She blanched at his words. “You don’t?”

  “No! I was trying to respect your wishes. Do you know how hard it’s been having you within my reach and not being able to do anything about it? Not being able to hold you or comfort you? Thinking you didn’t want me anymore? I hate what’s happened to us and I hate that it’s my fault. I hate that you’re injured.” His loud voice was thick with emotion. “I hate that you didn’t let me explain my actions and apologize for them, and that you kicked me out of your hospital room.” He continued yelling, “I hurt you and I don’t deserve you, but it doesn’t mean I can switch off my feelings, Mackenzie. I fucking love you!”

  Tension hung in the air as he held her gaze and leaned closer. Mackenzie was dumbstruck. She couldn’t speak, she opened her mouth but the words didn’t come out.

  “I love you … Mack,” he whispered, before closing the gap and pressing his lips to hers. His hands quickly moved to nestle in her hair as he brought his body closer. He needed to feel her. He needed to show her. He kissed her hard and tasted the saltiness of her tears. He threw everything he could into that kiss, closing his eyes to feel everything.

  She plunged her tongue into his mouth and nudged his shoulders to bring him closer. She felt an overpowering sense of relief; her man was kissing her ferociously. She wanted him. She needed him to make it better; make love to her and allow her heart to heal. Parting her legs until she felt the robe come apart and the air hit the top of her thighs, she placed Nate’s hand against her skin. He gently squeezed her uninjured thigh before moving his hand upward. Mackenzie gasped into his mouth when his fingers began to stroke her. His lips moved from her mouth to her neck and his fingers slipped inside as he nuzzled her.

  Nate knew he should go slowly; she was recovering. He felt guilty for wanting her so badly regardless of her condition … just not guilty enough to stop. He moved his free hand to untie her robe, nudging it open with his nose as his mouth danced across the skin between her breasts. The emptiness he’d felt this past week subsided with every caress of her body. He wanted to worship every inch of her, slowly, delicately, but he would have to do that later, because right now he was overcome with lust. Need. Desperation to claim her again. Mackenzie’s hands moved down to his hips, urging him closer.

  He quickly removed his shirt and climbed further onto the bed, hovering above her. Mackenzie’s body heated with the feel of his, something that had been missing for far too long. Then he finally put his weight on her and she welcomed it, pain or not, it was what she needed. She quickly moved her hands between them, toward his belt buckle and fumbled to undo his pants while he continued to move against her. When she finally freed him she urged him into her body.

  He thrust inside her and rained kisses over her breasts, up to her collarbone and across to her lips. His hands found hers and he pressed them into the pillow either side of her head. Their fingers entwined as their eyes fixated. Nate swore she could see deep into his soul right then, she could see every part of him. He would never hide anything from her again. Her glistening jade eyes were so full of love and strength, he only hoped that she could see the same conviction reflected back in hi
s.

  They silently made love, eyes open and focused on each other. The intensity of their connection was unlike anything Mackenzie had experienced before and when they finally came to an earth-shattering end, within seconds of each other, she knew things would be different from that moment on.

  “I’m going to make it up to you,” he promised. “Somehow, I’ll fix us.”

  Mackenzie felt fresh tears in her eyes. “I believe you.”

  “Hey, why are you crying?”

  She grinned through her tears. “Because.”

  “Because?” He chuckled softly, a great sense of relief overcoming him at the sight of the beautiful smile on her lips.

  “You called me Mack.” Her eyes searched his, warmth spread through her at the light and love she could see in them. “I love you, Nate.”

  He pulled her against his chest and exhaled loudly as the hurt and confusion from the past week dwindled away.

  Nate woke in a cold sweat, his heart beating erratically. Visions of dark red blood on pavement and sickening sounds of metal crunching against metal swirled in his head. Mackenzie’s pale face when she was unconscious in the hospital. Fragile and cold hands enclosed in his while he waited impatiently for her to wake. Her pained look when she told him to leave the hospital. The sadness in her eyes when he’d brought her to his apartment. The sound of her sobs from the other room.

  Then he heard soft breathing beside him. His hand shook when he reached for her in the darkness. He felt the warmth of her body and it all came flooding back. She was here, beside him, where she belonged. Things were good. He rolled to the side and turned on the bedside lamp so he could see her. He found a sleepy Mackenzie blinking up at him. His heart felt lighter in an instant.

  “You’re here,” he said with relief, pulling her into his arms.

  “Where else would I be?” she asked drowsily, burying her head in his chest.

  “I forgot ...” He squeezed her tighter. “For a moment I forgot.”

  “I’m here.” She hugged him back. “I was having a lovely sleep, too.”

  “Sorry,” he said with a chuckle, releasing her. He lay his head back against the pillow and she curled into the nook of his arm. “I’m so glad you’re here.”

  “Me too.” She snuggled into his embrace and inhaled. “It’s dark out, we must have been asleep for a while.”

  “Yeah,” Nate checked his watch. “It’s almost seven.”

  “I was exhausted.”

  Guilt seeped back in. “I’m sorry, Mackenzie. I shouldn’t have taken you so hard before, you’re injured.”

  “Oh please.” She chuckled. “I’m fine. I’m tired because I haven’t been sleeping, not because of that,” she said without thinking, then tried to cover it up with, “I’m fine, Nate, really. I have a couple of scrapes and bruises, the only thing bothering me is my leg.”

  “Did I hurt you?” he asked with concern. “Your leg?”

  “No, it’s just annoying,” she replied, pulling a face at him.

  “You haven’t been sleeping?”

  “Nothing to do with the accident,” Mackenzie admitted then quickly shut her mouth, wishing she hadn’t said that either.

  “Because of us?”

  “Doesn’t matter now,” she said, trying to sweep it away.

  “If it’s any consolation, I haven’t been sleeping either.”

  She took in his features and noticed the gray bags under his eyes. “Nate, I’m sorry for all you’ve been through. I can only imagine how difficult it must have been seeing me in the hospital like that only to be pushed aside.”

  He squeezed her hand and focused on her jade eyes. “The thought of losing you …”

  “You haven’t lost me.”

  “I’ll make it up to you. I’ll do anything you want me to.”

  “Right now,” she quirked her eyebrow at him, “I’d really like a shower.”

  “That, I can help you with.” He lifted the covers from them both and found his robe twisted around Mackenzie’s body. He shook his head.

  “What?”

  “That robe.”

  “I’m quite partial to this robe.” She pulled it tighter around her body.

  “Fuck! It’s killing me that your body is battered and bruised because of me-”

  “It’s not ...”

  “Yet,” he continued speaking, “all I can think about is touching you again.” He ran his hand through her hair. “I. Want. You,” he said between kisses on her neck.

  “Then take me.” She caught his eye when he pulled his head back. “After my shower.”

  Mackenzie sat up and allowed Nate to help her to the edge of the bed where he removed the robe from her body. As he covered her leg in the mandatory plastic bag he somehow made it seem erotic. His tender touches, his fingers gently gliding across her skin and his dark eyes catching hers every so often made Mackenzie smile. He smirked back at her. Yes, he knows exactly what he’s doing to me. Mackenzie sighed happily and ran her hand over his dark hair. He finished what he was doing and gave her a kiss on the lips before picking her up and carrying her to the bathroom.

  Mackenzie laughed when he frowned at the mess on the floor. He looked at her questioningly. “I was a bit angry with you,” she said with a shrug.

  “But not anymore?”

  “No, Nate, not anymore.”

  “Good.” He kissed her cheek and helped her to stand by his side. Her arms encircled his waist and she leaned against him while they waited for the water of the shower to heat. He helped her into the shower recess and stood her under the spray. Once they were both thoroughly soaked Nate carefully washed Mackenzie’s body.

  He stood behind her, taking the bulk of the water to his own back while he rubbed her down. Mackenzie’s heart sped up at the feel of his hands on her. She leaned back into his ministrations as he massaged her shoulders and back. Squeezing her muscles gently he loosened the last of the tension from her body. She closed her eyes and sighed happily when his lathered up hands moved further down and skimmed over her ass.

  “Turn around,” Nate demanded softly near her ear.

  He could feel her eyes on him as he soaped up her breasts, but he was too focused on what his hands were doing to look up. He gave her nipples extra attention and watched them form tight peaks. He felt his cock harden at the sight. He leaned in to place a kiss on her collarbone while his hands ventured lower, over her stomach. She made a barely audible moan as his hands skimmed over her hips. He pulled back to look at her and stopped himself when one hand danced across a large purple bruise on her outer thigh. He frowned.

  “No, Nate.” She took hold of his chin, drawing his focus to her face. “Don’t even think about it. I’m okay and you aren’t to blame.” He opened his mouth to argue and Mackenzie pressed her index finger to his lips. “No.” She replaced her finger with her lips, kissing him hard. She pulled back and smiled at him. “I love you.”

  Nate focused on those jade eyes and decided, once and for all, to force himself to let it go. He was here, now, with the most beautiful woman in the world. Mackenzie was his and that was all he cared about. She squeezed some liquid soap into her hand and started lathering Nate’s chest before slipping down to his abs. The light caress made his already hard cock stand further to attention. Her petite fingers encircled it and she started stroking him, causing him to groan.

  Mackenzie focused on his dark eyes while moving her hand up and down his thick length. “I want this in my mouth, Nate.” She was practically salivating at the thought. She smirked at his heated expression.

  “Fuck!” Nate quickly rinsed them both clean so they could get out of the shower. “As you wish, Mackenzie,” he said with a wink and a smirk, opening the shower door.

  Once out, he removed the plastic, dried her, re-dressed the wound on her thigh and then scooped her into his arms. He carried her from the bathroom but instead of toward the bed he headed for the door.

  “Wait. Where are we going?”

  “Yo
u’re coming back to my bed, Mackenzie. Where you belong.” He was staking his claim, once and for all.

  “But, my robe.” She pouted.

  Nate backtracked, collected the robe from the bed and tossed it over her body. She held it to her nose and inhaled his scent from the material with a reverence, no longer a sadness.

  “Did you just sniff that?”

  “I did.” She beamed at him.

  He shook his head, before kissing her hungrily and heading out the room. They made their way to his bedroom with Nate glancing at where they were headed, between kisses, so he didn’t knock her into anything. When he finally reached his bed, he gently laid her down before kneeling on the bed beside her. He pulled the robe from her hands and dropped it to the floor. His eyes trailed the length of her body before latching onto her eyes.

  “God, Mackenzie, I need you,” he said before kissing her again. “Did I hurt you before?”

  “No,” she replied, pushing her mouth back to his.

  “Mackenzie, are you sure? We don’t have to-”

  “I want to. Please Nate.”

  That’s all the confirmation he needed. He carefully started kissing every single one of the bruises on her body. He wanted to take her pain away.

  “You’re so beautiful.” He leaned forward again to press his lips to a bruise on her ribs. “If I could take it all away, I would.”

  “I know,” she replied, knowing full well he meant both the file and the accident.

  His gentle kisses had her body heating, and when he finally reached her mouth again their tongues slid against one another with so much heat that in no time she was writhing and moaning, her body aching for more.

  “I love kissing you,” he murmured against her lips. The responsive sounds coming from her made his cock strain. His hand trailed from her neck to her breast, gliding over her nipple then further down to her waist. He let his fingers wander over her stomach, making her twitch before he found the apex of her thighs. He inserted his finger into her hot, wet body. “I love the feel of you,” he spoke between kisses. “I love everything about you.”

  “Nate,” she whimpered as his fingers masterfully circled her clit. “Oh god!” Her back arched against the bed and he pulled back to watch.