Shadow Fray

by Bradley Lloyd

  Every time Justin felt the eyes of Jesus, his thoughts went back to that glove.

  It was playing dirty, using that glove. It gave him an unfair advantage. But that was life, right? All the people around him up there in the balcony had been born with an unfair advantage. Uppers. They wore the golden glove. They got the best doctors. The cleanest food. The most extensive fertility treatments. They got the places off the ground and the longer lives that went with them.

  Besides, who was to say his opponent wouldn’t have an advantage of his or her own? Justin had four quarter-inch pieces of metal. One inch total. Maybe the other Brawler would have a boot with a three-inch blade. He hoped he could trust Scarecrow to find it, whatever it was.

  He couldn’t help picturing what that glove could do to a person. Not kill, but it would certainly mark and draw blood. Or would it sever veins and arteries? He’d be the crucifier. If he didn’t kill his opponent, he’d leave scars that could end their career. It was pretty much the same thing.

  What if his opponent was someone like him, with a brother and sister, a son, or even a daughter?

  But he had no choice, right? Griz said he couldn’t get out.

  And how did Griz know it was Ginny who killed Joe? Justin had been so overwhelmed, he hadn’t even asked about that particular revelation. Scarecrow didn’t know the truth, but who else might? Who the hell were these people running the show, these Shadow Masters?

  He tried to tell himself it didn’t matter. None of it mattered. All that mattered was winning this Fray, in this Arena.

  Chapter 9

  JUSTIN HELD Charlie’s hand tightly. The air was cool but dry, new sunlight brightening the street. The sky was nearly white, caught in the transition between the golden hues of sunrise and the blue sky of day. A blank slate. Anything was possible.

  The six-block walk to St. Hedwig’s where Charlie went to school was relatively safe this time of day. Justin loved the morning walks, and he tried to love it today, making every effort to be in the here and now. He didn’t want to be all doom and gloom, but he tended to take these moments more seriously before a Fray.

  So just enjoy the walk. Don’t think about the Fray tonight. Most of all don’t think about the glove.

  Charlie squeezed his hand, and Justin looked down at him. The kid clearly knew the Fray was on Justin’s mind. His blue eyes showed concern—but they also sparkled with hope. Charlie believed in him. Looking into those eyes, he could almost forget about everything else.

  “I know,” Justin said. “It’s hard for me not to overthink. But you’re right. I’ll win tonight.”

  Charlie nodded once and then swung Justin’s hand playfully as they walked.

  He better win. Thankfully, Justin had a little cushion in his record, so even if he dropped down to two and two, he’d still get another Fray eventually. Probably. With the number of views the last one got—

  Charlie tugged on his hand.

  “Sorry! Sorry,” Justin said. He smiled down at Charlie apologetically. “No more thinking for the rest of the walk. I’m here with you.” Charlie squeezed his hand in agreement.

  Justin looked around the deserted street, taking in the sights. This area had once been a business district, but none of the buildings were high enough for residences or businesses today. Instead they’d been cleared out and fitted with cell phone and Internet receptors, solar panels, and rooftop gardens. This time of year, the gardens were empty, their meager harvests long since collected.

  Electrified barbed wire enclosed some of the rooftops, though with no crops to guard the current would be cut. The protected gardens were owned by various residents in the rises along the lake. Justin could never afford a garden, but several people in the Lakeside Condominiums building owned plots. Truth be told, it almost wasn’t worth it. These gardens got scavenged frequently, despite best efforts to keep Groundlings out. That’s why most of the rooftop gardens were managed by the nuns of St. Hedwig’s. It was charity work. The only reason these other gardens lasted to harvest before being scavenged was that each plot was adopted by a group of Groundlings who’d stand guard over it in exchange for produce.

  The nuns also got a level of respect that Uppers didn’t. That probably helped.

  Justin’s thoughts were broken by a loud hacking cough nearby. Charlie pulled on his hand to get him to stop and tugged again. Justin understood the signal, though part of him wanted to keep walking.

  “You okay, Levi?” he called loudly, his volume just shy of a shout.

  There were no windows in the nearby building, which honestly looked like it might fall over any day now. The angled roof had been removed to accommodate a garden, overseen by a shiny government-installed communications antenna, which looked severely out of place on the old, crumbling building. The walls and ceiling had been reinforced by the man living inside, and new timber supported the corners as well as the center. Levi sat up, his head and shoulders poking above the large space where the front window used to be.

  “Fine, fine,” Levi said between coughs. Of all the Groundlings on the street, Levi had lasted the longest. Almost eight years now, but from the looks of him, he wasn’t going to last much longer. He’d held a job for much of those eight years, forced onto the street to pay for the meds that kept him alive. Meds he couldn’t afford anymore now that he couldn’t work.

  As Levi turned to face them, Justin could tell from the bloodshot eyes that he had been using. Normally drugs made his skin crawl, but in the case of Levi—why not? Levi was a decent man, and at this point, whatever comfort he could get he was entitled to.

  “Hi there, Charlie. Get your homework done?” the man asked hoarsely.

  Charlie nodded and smiled at Levi. Levi smiled back, showing more gap than teeth.

  “Good, good.” Levi barely got the words out before another coughing fit overtook him. Charlie walked up to him, reached into his backpack, and removed a book. Watership Down. That one wasn’t familiar. Justin frequently got Charlie books on his wanderings about town. Old books weren’t hard to come by if you weren’t picky about the condition, but Charlie also traded with kids at school to get them. He must have done just that in order to get this one.

  Charlie had to hold the book for a minute before Levi could take it. The man nodded and held up a hand in thanks, unable to get words out. He wheezed, his eyes fixed on Charlie, the look between a silenced dying man and mute child conveying more than Justin could guess at, but something passed between them.

  Justin put a hand on Charlie’s shoulder. Levi’s eyes were watering, and he didn’t look to recover anytime soon. Levi motioned for them to continue on, and Justin understood this took the place of what the man would usually say: “Go on now. Don’t be late for school.”

  Justin gave him a smile, though it seemed out of place. Levi needed to find a place indoors and off the ground, but they’d already had this conversation. The man refused. He wouldn’t even go to the old stadium, which didn’t offer much in the way of shelter, but it did keep the homeless off the ground. In squalor, perhaps, but off the ground. Instead, Levi would stay the remainder of his days under the garden, now just a rooftop covered in two feet of dry clarified dirt. The choice meant he’d be dead in a couple months. If the sickness didn’t take him, he’d end up freezing to death. But that was his choice. He wasn’t the first Groundling they’d said good-bye to, and he wouldn’t be the last. Someone new would take his place, and Justin and Charlie would be friendly to him too. Just as they were friendly to all the Groundlings on this street.

  Charlie gravitated to them—all of them—having no fear of interacting with others. What could have been a danger had grown into an asset. While Justin would never let Charlie walk to school alone, he had no doubt Charlie could do it and be relatively safe.

  Men like Levi would see to it.

  “See you on the way back, Levi,” Justin said. He and Charlie turned away, hand in hand, and walked on. The wheezing sounds faded with the distance, and Justin was grat
eful not to hear any more coughing.

  “HALE, WHAT are you making?” Eddie asked, swinging her legs at the table.

  She knew what he was making, had seen it before, but she was in one of her talking moods. “Protein shake,” he said, adding bottled water to the green powder. Hale screwed the cap on the canister and inverted it onto the blender’s base. He watched the water thicken and turn green while the noise of the blender filled the kitchen.

  “Eww, gross!” Eddie screamed over the din, smiling. Hale had to admit, it was gross-looking, but at least it was green.

  And what was with Eddie putting on such a production? There was no need for the theatrics. It seemed she was starting to take after him. He smiled back at her. “Eat your toast, darlin’. Enjoy the jam for me too.”

  God, those preserves looked delicious, all shiny and red with visible bits of strawberry. Hale was fine with carbs on a Fray day, but he tried to stay away from sugar. It was more a mental thing than a necessity. Probably. He unfixed the canister from the blender and unscrewed the cap.

  “Can I have some?” Eddie asked in the sudden quiet. Hale raised his eyebrows. She’d never asked that before.

  “Protein shake? You just said it was gross.”

  “I’m a lady. I can change my mind.”

  Hale burst out laughing. “My thoughts exactly. Who told you that?”

  “You did, silly.”

  “Well, if I said it, then it must be true, ’cause I’m the smartest guy alive. Of course you can have some.”

  “Why is it all green?” she asked as he swirled the contents around for good measure.

  “It’s green because it’s made of seaweed. That’s what gives it all the vitamins.”

  “Seaweed like in the lake?”

  “Kind of. This comes all the way from the ocean, where it’s cleaner. And it cost way more than your strawberry jam.”

  “That’s ’spensive,” Eddie said, reaching for the glass. “Mom said this is the only jar of jam we get.” Eddie set her toast down, a strawberry glob dripping off onto the plate. The preserves must have come from the Chixago Building’s gardens. Hale had fixed her a pretty generous helping too. Oh well.

  He held the large glass down to her and helped her take a sip. Eddie had a silent look of deliberation on her face.

  “Well?” he asked.

  She stiffened her lower lip. “It’s good,” she decided at last. “I’m gonna eat my toast now.”

  Hale laughed again. She was totally trying to save face and act tough for him. He was proud of that. “Hold on. You got a green mustache.” He brushed her upper lip with his thumb. “Gotta wipe the fly guts off.”

  “Fly guts?” Her eyes got wide.

  “Just teasing, Baby Doll,” Hale said quickly. “No flies in this one.” Although there were crickets.

  “Why do you always tease me?”

  Hale paused in his motions, caught off guard. The question seemed an accusation. “Well, I suppose it’s because I love you so much.” Shit. Now he felt bad. He stared down into the green gloop.

  He did tease her a lot. Maybe it was because she reminded him more of Janie every day. He’d loved teasing Janie. Not in mean ways, he hoped. In fun ways, like with fly guts, and Janie could stand toe to toe with him, giving as good as she got. But Eddie was just a kid. “I’m sorry, Eddie. I’ll try not to tease you anymore. I didn’t….” Here he was trying to spend some time with her on the day of the Fray, and he was making her feel bad. It seemed like he hardly even saw her anymore, and—

  “No, it’s okay. I like it,” Eddie said, her legs swinging again. Her blue eyes sparkled as she took a bite of toast. She had to bite carefully, her mouth a beautiful assortment of mostly baby teeth, with a brand-new space in the front where she’d recently lost one. “You’re funny. Mama and Daddy are always so serious.”

  Hale smiled and knelt down close to her. He kissed her on the temple. “Well, I’m gonna be serious too for a second. I love you so, so much, and I’d do anything for you. Never forget that.”

  “Would you eat a million flies?”

  “I would eat a billion flies.”

  “Would you eat a million grasshoppers?”

  Hale took a big sip of his shake, making sure to leave behind his own sloppy green mustache. He put a hand to his mouth and belched audibly. “I think I just did,” he said.

  And Eddie laughed and laughed, all beautiful baby teeth and toast crumbs.

  CHARLIE’S ARMS released their grip on his neck, and Justin felt the chill air in the absence. He and Charlie always shared a hug at the drop-off point, but today it had been extra long. He smiled at his brother.

  “Have a good day, Bro Bro. I’ll try to be here to walk you home.” Unfortunately it might have to be Gin. Justin still had to work today, though hopefully not another long day catching up from when he’d been laid up. At least work would keep his mind centered. He already had a playlist picked out.

  Charlie took an extra second to lean forward and put his forehead against Justin’s. Justin closed his eyes, then felt a pat on his shoulder. He opened his eyes as Charlie turned to go into the double doors of the school building.

  Charlie waved a hello to Sister Timothy, who was standing in the doorway. Several other children were arriving, stepping out of vehicles, but Sister Tim’s eyes were on Justin.

  She was beautiful, even in her nun’s habit. Her beauty was in her eyes, in her thick, dark eyebrows that arched almost severely. She was clearly well into middle age and projected a wisdom that must have come with her years and her experience. Should she purse her lips or show any sort of tension in her face, she might look frightening, but she always appeared relaxed and in control, as though she could handle anything. The relaxed facial expression softened her look and made her appear kind, though Justin had no doubt she could, indeed, handle anything.

  She caught him looking at her and smiled. She wasn’t shy about looking at him. It might have unnerved him, but for some reason her gaze was allowable. Trustworthy. He could almost mistake it for interest of a more carnal type, but nuns were bound to celibacy.

  Across from her another nun welcomed the children. She was new and much younger. Justin had no idea who she was, but he noticed she was pregnant. Good for her. Many nuns chose to be surrogates, or to have children and give them up for adoption. This was one of the reasons the sisters demanded such respect. The difficulty of the responsibility struck him as saintly. It was almost supernatural, how nuns had a higher birthrate than other people. There had to be a scientific reason behind it, but no one had figured it out yet. Maybe something with the celibacy. Even the percentage of girls born to nuns was slightly higher than in the general population. It almost made one believe in miracles. Almost.

  Looking back at Sister Timothy, he wondered if she had ever had children. Of course, he would never ask that question, just like it wasn’t appropriate to ask a nun about her biological sex. Within the church it was forbidden to ask by order of the Pope, though clearly the pregnant nun was biologically female and not Uni. Unis were infertile.

  Was Sister Timothy Uni? Justin shook his head to dispel the thought. It didn’t matter, not in the least, and—

  “Everything all right?”

  Surprised, Justin saw Sister Tim approaching, just a few steps away. Damn—he’d been inside his own head again.

  “Yeah, just….” Just what? Fuck. He didn’t know what to say. And he should probably keep the fucks on the down low since he was talking to a nun. He could feel his cheeks heating. “Um….”

  “I saw the extended hug. It looked like you and Charlie were sharing a moment. You don’t have to explain. When I saw you standing here, I thought I’d check in. That’s all.”

  “Ah, yeah. Sure, everything is fine.”

  “Good.” She arched an eyebrow at him, not unkindly, but in a way, that seemed almost inviting, like that eyebrow had the power to pull words from his mouth. It made him want to confess… something.

  And then
he remembered. “Actually I wanted to thank you. For sharing Charlie’s assignment with me. You have no idea what it meant to me, and it came at just the right time, so yeah….”

  She smiled. “Then I’m glad I got to share it with you.”

  Justin brought a hand to the back of his head, running it through his hair. He looked away from her for a moment and lowered his voice. “I just… it almost makes me feel guilty. Him not knowing that I’ve seen what he wrote. I’ve been meaning to tell him and maybe this morning would have been a perfect opportunity—”

  Her laugh cut him off. She reached over and touched his arm lightly. Looking back at her face, he noticed how white her teeth were, in contrast to her dark eyebrows. “Justin, Charlie told me to share it with you. I’m sorry if I gave you the wrong impression.”

  “What?”

  “Yes. I gave it to you with Charlie’s permission. I assumed he didn’t want you to be mad about his being so revealing in the essay, and he thought if it came from me, you would be more likely to accept it with an open heart.”

  “Oh.”

  “You aren’t upset I hope.”

  “Oh—no. Not at all.” Justin smiled nervously and knew he was blushing. He looked away again. “God. I’m sorry. I mean—no, no. Of course. That makes sense.” How could he have thought a nun would go behind the back of a ten-year-old? No, on second thought a nun would definitely go behind the back of a ten-year-old. It was Sister Tim he shouldn’t have doubted.

  He felt a light squeeze on his arm. “You two share a very special bond.”

  Her sincere tone put him at ease, made him want to be sincere in return. “Yeah. We do.”