Life With HIM: Rennillia Series Prequel (Companion Novelette)

by M. Sembera

  “Sorry I stomped mud on your floor,” I whispered.

  Pulling my head back to look me in the eye, he said, “Anything for you.”

  The sad expression on his face caused me to say, “Do you need anything?”

  “I get to keep you, that’s all I need,” he replied.

  Recalling the first time he brought me to his house and asked me if he could keep me, I snapped at him that I wasn’t a dog. This time, I was a stray dog. Without a home, I didn’t even have shoes on when I wandered up to his door.

  I didn’t want to go back to bed but I wanted him. Wondering if he was opposed to venturing out of the bedroom, I pulled my shirt off.

  Unable to decipher his expression, I assumed it was a no when he snapped, “Put your shirt back on.”

  Sliding off of his lap, I nodded before doing what I was told. I watched him standup and go to the other room. Thinking I had upset him, I sat there quietly waiting for him to return.

  Henley walked back into the room. I noticed what was in his hand before smiling at him.

  “Stand up,” he stated.

  I obeyed.

  Biting the corner of his lip, he said, “Start over,” sitting down on the couch.

  Slowly complying, I anxiously awaited my reward.

  ~

  Lying on a blanket, spread across the living room floor, I drew in a deep breath before propping myself up on my elbows.

  “What if I went to the doctor and got on birth control?” I asked.

  A look of disapproval spread across his face as he replied, “Why?”

  Leaning my face closer to his, I whispered, “So we don’t have to stop in the middle of what we’re doing every time.”

  “Or so you can screw around and not get caught,” he sneered back at me.

  Shrinking back, I shook my head assuring, “I wouldn’t do that.”

  “What would stop you,” he questioned.

  Pulling up, I swore, “I belong to you,” before pressing my lips against his.

  Rolling me over, he smiled reclaiming his territory.

  Lw~H~

  Months went by. I had run into Hert while I was out a few times but the only real contact I had outside of Henley was Emerson. We had lunch in town. He was upset I didn’t want to come to the house but Henley wasn’t comfortable with my being there and honestly, neither was I. Missing Jackson’s first visit home, I was guilted, by Emerson, into dinner at the Thomas’ on his winter break.

  ~

  Standing in the doorway of Henley’s room, I stared at him sitting on the couch. It didn’t matter that it was only for dinner, I knew he didn’t want me to go. Walking over to him, I stood there, waiting for him to look up at me.

  “You can say no,” I offered.

  Without looking at me, he said, “I shouldn’t have to.”

  Sighing, I asked, “What do you want me to do? Emerson already told the Thomas’ I would go.”

  Standing up in front of me, he griped, “Then go.”

  I started to say something then stopped as he turned and walked away from me.

  ~

  When I pulled up at the Thomas’ house, Jackson was standing outside waiting on me. It took me a minute of staring at his smile and willing myself to smile back before I got out of my car.

  “Hey,” he cheered.

  Smiling back, I repeated, “Hey.”

  I started to step around him and go inside when he stopped me, asking, “So you’re pretty serious with him?”

  Finding it hard to answer, I replied, “I guess.”

  Jackson gave me a strange look before saying, “Ya’ll are living together.”

  Nodding, I agreed, “I guess that is serious.”

  Laughing at me, he said, “You say it like you just figured that out.”

  Taking a moment to think, he wasn’t wrong. I was so caught up in being with him, I didn’t realize we were living together.

  “I’m just staying there,” I assured, feeling as if I had in some way betrayed myself.

  A soft smile formed as he offered, “If you’re just staying there, why don’t you just come stay with me while I’m down.”

  Shaking my head, I thought ‘Henley wouldn’t like that’ as I said, “Jacks.”

  Jackson took a step closer, saying, “I really miss you, Ren.”

  Before I could respond, Mrs. Thomas walked outside. Giving us a cheery smile, she walked over and hugged me.

  I hugged her back before she pulled away, laughing, “I was wondering what was taking Jacks so long out here. Come on in, dinner’s ready”

  Happy for the interruption, I followed her inside.

  Dinner was the same as always at the Thomas’ table. Except now, I felt like I didn’t belong. Smiling and laughing with them on the outside my heart was breaking on the inside. This was never my family and I would never belong here. I belonged with Henley.

  After saying my goodbyes, Jackson walked me out to my car. I wanted our goodbye to be quick so I could leave.

  “Let me know when you come down again,” I said, opening my car door.

  Holding onto the top of my car door, Jackson asked, “Do you wanna go somewhere?”

  Caught off guard, I questioned, “Where?”

  Smiling wide, he replied, “Anywhere.”

  Rolling my eyes, I genuinely smile at him saying, “Maybe later.”

  “I can wait,” he assured, hanging onto my car door and smiling wide.

  Laughing and shaking my head at him, I said, “I need to go.”

  Making a pouty face, he pressed, “Please.”

  “I can’t,” I said, unsure of how I was really feeling at the moment.

  With a disappointed expression, Jackson said, “It is serious.”

  Shrugging, I replied, “We’re still gonna be friends Jacks.”

  Nodding with a smile he agreed, “Always.”

  Suddenly my eyes felt watery and I needed to get away from him. Sliding into my car, I pulled the door away from his hands and closed it.

  ~

  I sat in my car, staring at Henley’s house, wondering why I came back. Conflicted and heartsick, I reminded myself Jackson was temporary. He was leaving again and Henley was always there. Henley was the only one there when I needed him. Everyone else had their own life and all he had was me.

  Walking through the house, I was a little surprised that Henley was already in bed. Changing into one of his t-shirts, I made sure to put my clothes in the laundry basket before I slid into bed.

  Reaching out to him, I whispered, “Are you awake?”

  “Yes,” he snapped.

  Disliking his tone, I snapped back, “What the hell is your problem?” before practically flying off the bed and hitting the floor.

  In the moment it took me to sit up and realize he shoved me off the bed, Henley was standing over me. Grabbing my arm, he drug me into the living room. Kicking my feet, the wood floor burned against my bare leg until I finally got my footing and stood. As soon as I did, he shoved me again. Holding my hands out to catch myself, I slid across the floor on my arm this time.

  Listening to Henley’s footsteps to his room before he slammed his door, I laid there. My father’s voice echoed in my head, saying, ‘When you wake up on somebody’s floor it’s your own fault.’ Sitting up, I pulled one of my knees into my chest, wrapping my arm around it. Resting my head on my knee, I looked at my other arm and leg. Both with long red streaks and strawberry bruises forming, I wished I could go back and tell my father he was right.

  Sitting in the middle of the living room floor, I started to cry. The pain from my arm and leg were nothing compared to the internal pain of regret.

  I didn’t notice Henley step back into the room until I heard him say, “Come to bed.”

  Shaking my head, I allowed my tears to continue falling. Feeling him carefully sit behind me, I tensed up. He slid his arms around my waist as his legs rested against the sides of mine. Flinching when he brushed against my hurt leg, I felt his breath at
my ear.

  “I was afraid you weren’t coming back,” he whispered.

  Sniffling, I asked, “Then why weren’t you happy when I got in bed?”

  Dragging his lips down the side of my neck, he said, “You can’t leave me.”

  “I’m not,” I cried, still not sure what happened.

  Pulling my head to the side, he assured, “I’ll make it up to you.”

  Closing my eyes, I nodded, unable to control the feeling I had as he slid his hands from my waist to my thighs.

  Lw~H~

  Henley did make it up to me and then some. There were flowers, new clothes, bubble baths and extra special attention every night.

  ~

  Sitting on the couch, I waited for him to get home. I knew he would be late getting home from visiting his uncle but it was really late and I was starting to panic. When he finally arrived, I jumped up ready to fuss at him for having me so worried.

  Taking one look at him, I frowned, asking, “Are you ok?”

  Shaking his head, he walked past me and into his room.

  Following close behind, I stopped him in the bathroom, saying, “Henley.”

  Looking at the floor, he shook his head.

  Without thought, I knew exactly what he needed. He needed me.

  Reaching up, I ran my fingers through his hair before sliding my hands down his shoulders.

  “I’m a disappointment,” he shared.

  Gathering the bottom of his shirt in my fingers, I whispered, “Not to me,” before pulling it off over his head.

  Folding it neatly, I set it on the bathroom counter. I ran my finger from his chest down to the middle of his stomach to the button on his jeans. Grabbing my wrist, he swung me around and pressed me against the door.

  “Mine,” he growled, letting go of my wrist and grabbing my hips so hard, I knew he would leave a mark.

  ~

  I laid on top of him in the bathtub that was full of warm soapy water. Lifting strands of my hair before wrapping them around his finger, dropping them and repeating the action, he appeared content. The fury and aggression that he took out on me not even thirty minutes ago was gone. Even though it was rough, I knew he needed it to be that way. I was the only one that could make him feel better, made it more intense.

  I knew I was going to be black and blue from the way he handled me, no amount of soaking in the tub would prevent that but I was hoping I wouldn’t be sore in the morning.

  Sliding me up to kiss me, he said, “I like knowing your mine.”

  “I am,” I swore, pressing my lips against his.

  Pushing me to a sitting position, he brushed his fingers against the marks he left on me, saying, “I like seeing where I’ve been.”

  Tilting my head to the side, I asked, “You like hurting me?”

  “I like knowing you’re mine,” he repeated.

  All I could say was, “I am.”

  And I was.

  Lw~H~

  Time slipped by as everything but Henley slipped away. I still met Emerson for lunch once a month but most times we just ate in silence. Each time Jackson came home to visit, he joined Emerson and I for lunch because I couldn’t deal with anything more. If I was away too long, Henley would get upset.

  ~

  Surprised Hert was sitting at the table instead of Emerson, when I walked into the restaurant, I forced a smile and tried to make conversation.

  “How’s your job going?” I asked.

  Keeping his jaw tight he nodded before asking, “Why are you still there with him?”

  Finding it had been a long time since I asked myself that question, I shrugged.

  “Take off your sweater its ninety five degrees outside,” he snapped.

  I could feel my hands starting to shake as I shook my head.

  “This is what you chose?” Hert questioned, grabbing my arm and pushing up my sleeve.

  Quickly pulling my sleeve back down, I took a step back, saying, “I’m fine.”

  “What the hell is the matter with you? Do you know what he says about you?” Hert griped before lowering his voice and informing, “The things he says you let him do to you?”

  Crossing my arms in front of my chest, I suddenly felt exposed as I defended myself, saying, “That’s private.”

  “You disgust me,” he snapped.

  Tears threatened my eyes as I said, “I thought we were friends.”

  “How could I be friends with someone like you? You’re disgusting and I hate you,” he declared.

  Shaking my head as tears rolled down my cheeks, the only thing I could bring myself to say was, “Ok.”

  The anger and hatred in Hert eyes was too much for me to witness. Turning away from him I walked away, knowing I would never see or hear from him again.

  ~

  Curled up in bed, crying, I felt betrayed. No matter what Henley tried, I refused to look at him.

  “Tell me what I did to you,” he begged.

  Swinging my arms at him every time he tried to get close, I shouted, “How could you!”

  “I don’t know what I did,” he stressed.

  Without lifting my head off of my pillow, I said, “Because of you, he thinks I’m disgusting. You made him hate me.”

  Saying it out loud, brought me to terms with what happened and I let him slide against me.

  “Who?” he asked.

  Covering my face with my hands, I shared, “Hert said you told him everything we do.”

  I could hear the irritation in his voice as he questioned, “Are you ashamed of being with me?”

  “No, I’m embarrassed. And he said he could never be friends with me now,” I said, starting to cry again.

  Pulling my hands from my face, he kissed my cheeks before questioning, “Herterand walks away from you that easy?”

  “You shouldn’t have told him,” I snapped.

  Sliding his hands under my shirt, he assured, “I won’t do it again.”

  Henley kissed my neck down to my collar bone before making his way back up to my lips. Allowing the feeling to replace everything else, I slid my hands into his hair and kissed him back.

  Lw~H~

  I was his and I did let him do whatever he wanted with me. It was just our way. Sometimes it got to be a little much for me but then sometimes it was better than anything else. I needed him just as much as he needed me. We needed each other and just like the times he understood, when I couldn’t get out of bed, I understood when he got angry.

  ~

  I shouldn’t have said anything. I wasn’t trying to upset him. Jackson had finally graduated and his parents were having a party for him at The Bar. It had been a long time since I saw anyone other than Jackson and Emerson and I really wanted to go. Holding the ice to my face, I was sorry I even mentioned it.

  Sitting down next to me at the kitchen table, Henley took a piece of ice out of a bowl and rubbed it against my bottom lip.

  “Is this better?” he asked, in a soft voice full of regret.

  I nodded.

  Glancing down at my bra, I saw a few spots of smeared blood on it before asking, “Am I still bleeding?”

  Running his finger against my bottom lip, he answered, “No,” before carefully kissing me.

  Lowering the ice from my face, I asked him, “How do I look?”

  “Sexy sitting at my table without a shirt on,” he shared, placing the almost melted ice back into the bowl.

  With a light smile I said, “Take me to bed.”

  Shaking his head with a sly smile, he stated, “Make me.”

  “Make you?” I asked, quickly realizing as bit the corner of his bottom lip, this was a game.

  Slowly standing up, I slid onto his lap and kissed him.

  Failing at making him take me to bed, I was more than pleased that he took me on top of his kitchen table.

  Adjusting the blanket under us, I laughed, “You had me for dinner.”

  “You are dinner and desert all in one,” he shared, hovering over me.


  The table wobbled under us as I pulled him down to me, saying, “I want seconds.”

  “Careful, you might get fat,” he laughed.

  Sliding my arms around his back, I teased, “Only if you accidently knock me up.”

  Instantly his expression changed.

  Climbing off of the table, he walked to his room. I gathered the blanket around myself before hopping down and heading to his room.

  “I wasn’t being serious,” I assured, watching him get dressed.

  Swiftly turning towards me, he grabbed the front of the blanket, twisting it tight around me, questioning, “You think that’s funny?”

  I frowned, shaking my head at him.

  Grabbing my face with his hand, he growled, “I’m not enough for you?”

  “I didn’t mean anything by it,” I swore.

  Slowly releasing my face, he kissed me before informing, “I don’t mind you staying here. Children are worse than pets.”

  Swallowing hard, I whispered, “I don’t ever want kids either.”

  His expression softened as he shared, “You’re mine. I won’t share you.”

  Nodding, I tried to smile but tears rolled down my cheeks instead.

  Lifting me up, Henley carried me to the bed. Carefully setting me down, he undressed before sliding into bed next to me. Closing my eyes, I felt him holding me close. I was serious about not wanting kids. I could barely take care of myself. Still, I couldn’t help being sad. It had nothing to do with wanting more. After almost four years together, I was still just staying there. Not even a girlfriend or roommate, I was a possession.

  Lw~H~

  Something changed in me that night. I willingly gave myself to him at a moments notice, I needed him but I no longer willingly gave up control. If he pushed, I pushed back. The fights were painful and the makeups were phenomenal.

  ~

  I was shocked beyond belief when Jackson unexpectedly stopped by for a visit. As he knocked on the door, I silently debated if should answer it.

  Shouting, “Just a minute,” I ran to the bedroom and quickly got dressed before taking a minute to open the front door. Thoughts of ‘should I’, made me doubt how good of an idea this was. What if Henley came home and found him here? Deciding it was better to get rid of him before that could happen, I opened the door.