by Linz VonC
He closed his eyes.
"Someone suggested we rob her house. It was researched, all I can tell you is that I did what I was told to do. I was fifteen."
I slid my fingers into his hand and held it tightly.
"We broke in. All I had to do was throw the loot onto the ground. Easy. Except the girl was home."
My heart raced.
"She was fifteen," he added, his eyes sad. "I promise you I had no part in what happened to her. But I didn't try to stop it either. I was a coward. I was there with boys of my age and up, the oldest was a man in his forties."
He leaned his head back and I saw the pain in his eyes.
"They left her for dead. I just ran, and I didn't look back."
I felt like I had been holding my breath. I squeezed his hand tightly.
"So what happened?"
He cleared his throat.
"Well, she survived. Only just. Turns out her dad was rich illegally as well as legally…he had his fingers in all the pies. We were all caught. There were six of us in total. Four are now dead."
He smiled sadly.
"So I got a hefty fine, which my family paid, and we moved here under witness protection. I have no idea how long I will be here though, her father won't let me get away with it."
I sat absorbing the information, my ears ringing.
"But you didn't hurt his daughter." I argued as he shook his head.
"No, I didn't. But I didn't stop them did I? That's as good as doing it- in his eyes, I know that much."
His voice was so soft I barely heard the last part.
"Look, I understand if you want to leave us, where we are. I don't want you to get hurt. If they find me, which I think they may do, I don't want them coming for you. You mean too much, and I couldn't protect you, no matter how much I would try."
I reached for him.
"I won't lie to you; I'm terrified. But I meant what I said, I really am falling for you. I can't be without you."
I meant it. It seemed that his life was at risk, which made mine at risk too. But could I really break off with him and carry on like he didn't ever exist? What if something did happen to him? I shuddered at the thought.
He kissed my head.
"Now you see why school doesn't matter overly to me," his attempt at humour fell short. "Just focusing on surviving currently." His eyes were full of anger and sadness.
"Can we go somewhere, anywhere where no one will know us?" I asked him, not thinking of anyone or anything else. He started the car and pulled away. We drove in silence for a while as he pulled onto the freeway, pulling in to the second motel we passed.
"What was wrong with the first one?" I yawned.
"Nothing. But I won't ever use the first one we get to."
He turned the engine off, pulled some cash from his pocket and pushed it into my hands.
"Go get us a room, Theodora," he grinned at me as I walked up to the little door and pushed it forwards. A bell rang somewhere as I walked into the reception. A bored looking man sat playing on his phone, barely glancing at me.
"Yes?"
His voice sounded scratchy, like he needed to clear his throat like, yesterday.
"Uh, I need a room?"
"Fifty bucks. Seventy if you want Wi-Fi."
I handed the cash over and he handed me the key, no questions asked. Was it really that easy to rent a room?! I came out with a chunky keyring with a key attached to it. Cal read the number and held my hand as he led the way to our new home for the night. The room seemed basic, a bed in the middle and a small tv set on a stand at the end of the bed. The bathroom was at the other end.
"Well I don't think it’s too bad," I commented as I slung my bag on the bed. Cal stood against the door and watched me. He looked like he was a million miles away. I beckoned him over and he slowly walked towards me, shrugging off his jacket as he did. His eye was turning slightly yellow and didn't look as bad as it did yesterday. I moved his hair out of his eyes as he turned to look at me. My heart felt full of love for this boy. He had been through so much.
"I meant what I said Raven. You don't need a part in any of this."
His voice was gruff and his eyes full of sadness. I felt a lump in my throat as I stroked his face.
"I know that...but I can't imagine myself not being with you."
I swallowed as he held my face in his hands.
"You could go back to your life, living the American dream babe. You will always be mine though."
He smiled sadly, his hand on my thigh.
"Cal. Ever since the minute I met you I knew I would have to have you in my life in any capacity...I literally don't know how I existed before you."
He kissed me then, holding my face with both hands.
"I really didn't want to fall in love with you, you know," He murmured. I held my breath as he rested his forehead against mine. "But fuck it..." his green eyes stared into mine.
We fell onto the bed, legs tangled together as our mouths searched each other urgently. It felt as though there was no world other than the one we existed in, right at that moment. He lifted his t shirt off, revealing his tanned torso. I pulled my shirt off, my hair covering my face as I did so. He reached behind me and unclipped my bra with ease, my breasts revealed to his delight. I laid back on the bed as he leant down, kissing my stomach and causing me to squeal with laughter.
"Really?"
He smiled and slid his fingers under my jeans and underwear, pulling them down and throwing them on the floor. My breathing deepened as he stood and loosened the buckle on his belt, tugging it open to get to his jeans. He dropped them and I stared at his body in awe. He climbed back on the bed and kissed me softly, and I felt myself responding hungrily. This was only my second time with him and I didn't feel any nerves this time. I wanted him so much it felt like it was a physical yearning. He was so careful, checking I was ok throughout, kissing me and taking his time. The pleasure was intense. He held me after, his fingers stroking my arm.
"That was amazing, wasn't it?"
I asked, reaching for my clothes. He sat up, reaching for his cigarettes.
"I would struggle to label it, it was fucking delicious. You are fucking delicious."
His eyes wandered over me as I dressed. He leaned back as I sat down facing him.
"Do you feel ok?" He asked, as he did the last time. He seems to be scared of hurting me. I nodded happily, yawning as I crept into bed next to him. My body curled against his, my eyes fighting sleep just to look at him. He put the cigarettes back on the bedside table and laid next to me.
"Get some sleep beautiful." He kissed my eyelids softly, and I fell asleep to the sound of his breathing.
Chapter 9
I knew I would be grounded.
In fact I thought I would be murdered, so grounded was an improvement. I was seventeen, and after going out with friends and not got in touch ALL NIGHT. Of course, I could have sent a text. I was so wrapped up in Cal I didn't think of my parents, and I was in serious shit. I was sat in the lounge with my parents standing in front of me, talking about me as though I didn't exist.
"She is changing, Ted. Trust me, I was her age once. This is NOT a good sign."
My mother looked at me, worry creasing her beautiful face.
"Staying out all night, without thinking to tell us where she was? She barely sees her friends- there's some new boy called Cal she is hanging around with-"
"Leave Cal out of it." I said angrily.
My father raised his eyebrows at me.
"Don't you understand how scared we were? We didn't know if something had happened to you. We woke up this morning to see your bed empty; all your things gone. Then you walk in wearing the clothes you wore yesterday?"
His voice was full of hurt.
"Whats happening Gretchen?"
"You wouldn't understand." I whispered as my mother folded her arms.
She narrowed her eyes as she said,
"Actually I think I might. Luke came over
last night to see you."
I looked up in shock, "What?"
"He is worried about you. So are we, Gretchen. Luke said this boy is his cousin. He said he was expelled from his last school for fighting and that he skips school regularly."
She swore under her breath, her hand on her head.
My father's mouth opened and closed as he stared at me.
"Good God Gretchen, I absolutely forbid you to see him anymore. What were you thinking?!"
I started to cry then, huge sobs racking my body.
"Go to your room Gretchen, you are grounded. Completely. Until you are out of college." He shouted, walking away from us.
My mother was clearly furious. I grabbed my bag and ran up the stairs to my room, my chest heaving with the thought of not seeing Cal anymore. I had to calm down, but I just couldn't. I felt like I was having a panic attack. Why was Luke doing this to us? I knew he was hurting; but he had his tongue down Krystals throat earlier-not to mention the girl at the rink.
My door opened and my father stood with disappointment etched on his face.
"Give me your phone and your laptop. I will not have you communicating with him. We will take you to school and drop you off from now on. The only way you could see him would be at school, and by the sounds of that, he doesn't go." He shook his head in disbelief. "This is for your own good."
I threw myself onto my bed in floods of tears, as my father disconnected my laptop and left my room quietly.
How was I going to cope?
Cals POV
So it had begun. A letter addressed to L Cape reached me today. I stared out of my window into the street. I felt fury rising within me and I punched the wall, hot white pain shooting up my arm.
"FUCK!"
I heard the door open behind me.
"Dude? What’s wrong?"
I turned to see Drake.
"As usual, fucking everything."
I threw the letter at him. He unfolded his arms and read it quietly. His eyes burned into mine.
"We left you to it. You needed to try and live a normal life...but your cousin's girl wasn't really the best idea, knowing what he knows about you."
He attempted to smile then, but it faded quickly. He closed the door behind him and walked over to me.
"I love you, even though you've fucked up, quite a lot actually over the years. You know what I think?"
I closed my eyes, not wanting to hear what he had to say.
"Mom and Dad like it here. They've been through so much."
His voice went quiet.
"I think we should leave. You and me."
I whirled around to him.
"What?"
Drakes eyes fixed on mine.
"Yeah. You heard me. Leave. I'll come with you. Fuck school. Fuck the girl; if you care about her then this is the best thing you can do for her. If anyone finds out you care for her, she is as good as dead anyway."
I felt sick. How had all my shitty decisions lead me to someone so fucking incredible, yet I couldn't be with her?
"I can't leave her Drake. I've ruined her fucking life. She will be alone if I am not here."
Drake sighed and looked at the letter in his hand.
"You don't seem to have much choice."
Chapter 10
My parents had cooled down after a few days.
They agreed I could have my phone back; but I was still grounded. I was sat in my room scrolling through Facebook idly, catching up on the events I had missed in such a short space of time. I hadn't heard from Cal, but I didn't know if that was because my parents had been particularly extreme and blocked him on my phone, or whether he had simply tried not to contact me. I pushed the thought out of my mind and decided to dress for school. I literally couldn't wait to see Cal, I hoped that he would be at school today, purely to see me. I swept my curls into a clip and slid on a blue t shirt and jeans. I looked in the mirror, relieved to see my eyes weren't so swollen from crying anymore. I remembered Cal preferring my hair down so I took the clip out, letting the curls fall. My phone pinged and I grabbed it, feeling my heart sink a little when I saw it was from Rosie.
“Can we talk today? Miss you.”
I typed back a quick, 'Sure, see you soon.' reply and grabbed my bag.
My mom was waiting for me at the kitchen table, car keys in hand.
“Ready?”
She asked, her eyes narrowed at me. She was still angry, purely because I had worried her so much. I tried to understand but whenever I thought of that night with Cal I realised it was so worth it. She stood, her blue eyes piercing into mine.
“Keep away from Cal, for your own good. I can't force you, but I am trying to help you. Now get in the car please.”
I nodded and sighed, this was so hard. I couldn't keep away from him if I tried. Nothing compared to him, ever. I just would have to not be so vocal about him at home. We left the house and my eyes searched the road, just in case Cal was waiting for me. I felt disappointment that he wasn't there, and slouched into the passenger seat of my mom’s car. We drove in silence, and she dropped me off right outside.
“I will pick you up after school.”
I tried to speak then, “Mom I –“
“No, Gretchen. You don't get to say anything about this. Until you learn how to behave like an adult, you will be treated like a child.”
She leant over me and opened the car door, signalling for me to get out. I climbed out and watched her drive away. Jeez. She was really pissed. I don't get it- I'm safe. It clearly didn't matter, this was clearly her way of dealing with it. I followed the throng of people making their way painfully slowly to school and I found myself searching for a familiar face. Eventually I saw Sienna leaning on her car, wrapped in a winter coat. She spotted me and began waving frantically. I walked over to her and she held her arms out.
“Hey, are you ok? I texted you, called you, no reply? Was you with lover boy?”
Her eyes rolled as she spoke, her arm linking with mine as we walked into school.
'It’s complicated, I'm sorry I didn't get back to you. My dad took my phone from me...”
I unhooked my black leather bag from my shoulder and dropped it at my feet whilst I opened my locker. I was stopped by the sound of a basketball being bounced loudly in the hallway, to hollers from the guys who were attempting to actually play the game in between throngs of people.
“No shit, why?!” She exclaimed, her eyes wide.
I pulled my books out and slammed my locker shut and turned to face her,
“Oh Si. I spent the night with Cal and I didn't tell my parents...”
She made a face and held her hands out,
“Ok, who are you and what have you done with Gretchen? You're a real rebel now!”
She said this proudly but her face changed when she saw the sadness in my eyes.
“Then Luke went to my house, I wasn't there...” I sighed as we walked forwards, trying to avoid the basketball that was still being tossed about.
Her eyes flashed as she threw her hair over her shoulder.
“What the fuck did Luke go to your house for?!”
She furrowed her brow, as confused as I was about the whole situation.
“I know right? I saw him the other day with Krystal, and then he was with some random at The Rink....”
She shook her head.
“Well I mean, there's moving on, and then there's that. So why turn up at yours?”
She slipped gum into her mouth and offered me one.
I took it, popping it into my mouth. We started walking through the crowds, the different voices and sounds dulling our conversation.
“To see me, but I wasn't there. So he told my parents Cal was a waster, pretty much. Then I didn't come back home...”
I shrugged, as she pieced together the rest in her head.
“Oh no.....So they took your phone away?”
I nodded as we found ourselves in the Psychology Class.
“I can't see him anymor
e, and I'm grounded for life.”
My eyes threatened to fill with tears again as she squeezed my arm.
“This is horrendous Gretchen. Listen, we will talk more after class, yeah?” Sienna nodded at me sadly and made her way to her seat.