The Darlings in Love

by Melissa Kantor

  Clearly Victoria was the only one who’d been moved to tears, because as soon as Rajiv was done, Jack, RJ, and Lily practically fell over one another offering up things Rajiv needed to change for the next take. If a group of people had criticized something Victoria baked as thoroughly as this group critiqued Rajiv’s playing, Victoria would never have stepped foot in the kitchen again. But Rajiv just nodded, asked a few questions, and then, when everyone was done talking, told RJ he was ready to take it from the top.

  This time Victoria tried to listen with a cooler head, to hear some of the problems everyone else had noticed the first time—the missed note, the mistimed beat, the rushed finale. But again Rajiv’s playing sounded beautiful to her, and she found herself getting as lost in the song as she had before. By the fourth time Rajiv started from the beginning, Victoria had given up on being a music critic and just let herself appreciate what she was hearing.

  When they’d all decided Rajiv had completed a take that “wasn’t bad,” Sam headed into the booth. Victoria tried to focus, but listening to the drums without any melody made her completely lose the thread of the tune, and once that happened, all she heard was noise. Every once in a while, Jack would look over at her, and every time, Victoria made sure to smile back at him. But secretly she was bored. Deadly bored. So bored that at five o’clock, when Sam stopped playing, apologized, and said, “You know what, let’s just take it from the top again,” she wanted to scream. Instead, she reached into her bag and checked her phone. Three missed texts and a voice mail.

  For a second she panicked. Was it her parents? Had Emily told them about her bailing on the community service center? Stomach tight, she checked the texts. She breathed easier when she saw they were all from Natalya.

  3:25

  colin wants 2 play chess in person 2morrow! nothing to wear!! call me!!!!

  3:45

  is it weird if i wear my uniform to meet colin?

  4:10

  help! help! help!

  Victoria bit back a giggle, then checked her messages. “Oh my god!” Natalya’s recorded voice wailed. “Why are you not texting me back? I am having a heart attack! What am I going to wear? What am I going to talk about? Do you hear me? Why are you not texting me back in my hour of need? You think those kids need you to help them appreciate organic produce. But really I need you to tell me what to do!!! ” Natalya’s voice got louder with each sentence, and suddenly Victoria, who had been smiling to herself as she listened, realized the room around her had gone completely silent.

  She looked up.

  Every eye in the studio was on her. Slowly, she closed her phone and put it on her lap. “Sorry,” she said quietly. She glanced over at Jack. He was smiling at her, but it was a slightly tense smile, like he knew he had to support her but he was kind of embarrassed by what she’d just done.

  “Sorry,” she whispered again.

  She wanted to go into the hallway to call Natalya, but she felt obligated to stay where she was, as if she’d done something naughty and deserved a time-out. As soon as Jack turned back to watch Sam, Victoria quietly typed, i will call u as soon as i can. don’t panic. She hit send, cringing at the sound of the button being depressed. Had anyone else heard the distinctive click? But they were all looking at Sam. She dropped her phone into her bag, then sat silently, literally twiddling her thumbs as she waited for the song to be over.

  When Sam was finally (miraculously!) done, Victoria nodded her head, clapped a couple of times, then bent down to gather her bag, sure the session was over. Really it hadn’t been that bad, she told herself. When you thought about it, it was kind of cool that now she knew how CDs got recorded.

  “Okay, guys,” said RJ.

  Victoria stood up. She had the strap of her bag over her shoulder, but nobody had made a move to gather up the backpacks, coats, sweaters, and scarves that littered the floor and chairs of the console room. Jack cracked his knuckles. Rajiv, who had his feet up on the arm of Jack’s chair, uncrossed his ankles, then recrossed them, with the opposite foot on top.

  Sam came into the room as RJ finished his sentence. “Let’s hear what we’ve got.”

  Victoria sat down reluctantly, expecting the rest of the session to be as boring as Sam’s drumming, but she couldn’t have been more wrong. As RJ played different versions of the instruments together—drums and guitar, drums and vocals, vocals and guitar—the song filled out and grew in complexity. What had already been lovely became rich and layered, the steady progress of the drums pulling the lyrical notes of the guitar ahead, and above it all, Lily’s pure voice hovering, almost taking off and leaving the world behind until the other instruments brought her back to earth.

  “Yeah!” said Rajiv as the last quivering note died out. It was the sixth or seventh time RJ had played the song all the way through, but the first time he had done so with this particular set of takes.

  “Right on!” agreed Lily, and Jack and Sam applauded.

  “You think?” asked RJ. His voice was gruff, but there might have been the hint of a smile behind his cigar.

  Jack nodded.

  RJ squinted at the screen of his laptop, typed something brief, then announced. “That’s a wrap.”

  Everyone clapped and hooted. Sam and Jack high-fived, and Lily jumped up and down, waving her arms in the air. “Oh, baby!” Rajiv exclaimed. People made a point of slapping Victoria five or hugging her, but she felt self-conscious about having done nothing to help create the exquisite music she’d just heard. Less than nothing, really, if you thought about how she’d interrupted the session listening to Natalya’s message. She wished she’d contributed in some way; if only she’d known about the recording session in advance, she could have at least made cookies for everyone.

  Rajiv rubbed his hands together and announced, “I’m starved. Who wants to grab dinner?”

  Jack turned to Victoria. “You hungry?”

  Victoria hesitated. It was Friday night. Her mom would probably let her go out for dinner with Jack.

  Dinner with Jack. She would have loved to have dinner with Jack. But she knew she wasn’t the one he really wanted to have dinner with.

  “I should probably get home.”

  Jack pushed up from his seat. “I’ll take you.”

  “That’s okay,” said Victoria automatically. “You guys deserve to go out after all your hard work.”

  Jack walked over to where she was standing, put his arm around her, and whispered in her ear, “Are you sure?”

  Victoria was sure she didn’t want to be the kind of girlfriend who kept her boyfriend from celebrating with his friends. She kissed him lightly on the cheek. “I’m sure,” she whispered.

  In the elevator, everyone talked about how great the session had been, how good a producer RJ was, how awesome it was going to be when the album was finished. Victoria tried to listen carefully. This was Jack’s world, and she wanted to be a part of it.

  “So,” asked Jack, “did you have fun?” They were standing on the sidewalk outside the building. Lily, Sam, and Rajiv had just headed to a Mexican place around the corner. Jack had promised to be there in a minute, but right now his arms were around Victoria’s waist.

  “I did,” said Victoria.

  “Tell the truth,” Jack ordered, hugging her. “You were a little bored.”

  For a second, Victoria panicked. She’d tried so hard to look interested the whole time, but still he’d guessed. Was he disappointed? Should she deny it?

  Remembering his comparing a recording session to watching paint dry, she pressed her forehead against his chest. “A little,” she admitted, her voice soft.

  “Me too.” As he nuzzled her neck gently, Victoria felt almost shaky with relief. So she hadn’t been the only one who was bored. “But it’s all worth it in the end, isn’t it? Those guys are so talented.” His voice, when he described his friends, was awed.

  “I’ll make cookies next time!” Victoria announced abruptly.

  “What?” Smiling slightl
y at her non sequitur, Jack pressed his forehead against hers.

  “I should have made you guys cookies or something. You know, to contribute.”

  Jack twined his fingers through hers. “You contributed just by being there.”

  But I didn’t say anything smart about the music, and then I was listening to that message from Natalya, and your friends are so much cooler and more talented than I am! The wail of inadequacy in Victoria’s head was so insistent, she was surprised Jack couldn’t hear it.

  They kissed, a long, deep kiss that ended when Jack finally pulled away with a groan. “I could kiss you forever, but I should meet those guys.” She let him go, and he stepped into the street and put his hand out, and an instant later, a cab pulled over to the curb. Jack kissed her again, then she slipped into the car, he shut the door, and she pulled away from him and down the block.

  As she settled into the back of the car, she pictured Jack joining Lily and Rajiv and Sam. They’d spend the meal talking about the recording session, maybe branch off into other bands, music in general. She knew Jack had been sincere when he’d invited her to join them, but she wondered if he’d thought about how little she would have contributed to the conversation.

  Tonight, she vowed, she’d listen to the mix CD he’d made her for Christmas again, only this time she’d take notes on it. And next time she was out with him and his friends, she’d make sure to reference some of the songs on it at least once. Hurtling uptown, she wondered if it was weird that going out with her boyfriend and his friends felt a little like a test she had to study for.

  SATURDAY MORNING WHEN Natalya pushed open the door of Act Two, Victoria was already there, standing in front of a rack of dresses. She looked up as the bell tinkled Natalya’s arrival.

  “Let me see!” Victoria demanded, not even bothering to say hello.

  Natalya knew what her friend meant, and she immediately unzipped her coat and spun around so Victoria could check out the outfit they’d spent nearly an hour putting together on the phone the night before.

  Victoria applauded Natalya’s slim black jeans, low black boots, and fuzzy red long-sleeved zip-front sweater, undone to reveal a gray tank top underneath. “Perfect!”

  “But you know what I realized? Colin won’t even see this. It’s freezing. I’ll be buttoned up to here.” Natalya put her hand to her throat.

  Victoria gave her a sly look. “Not when you go for coffee after.”

  Without responding, Natalya moved to stand next to Victoria. But she was too distracted to actually see any of the dresses she absently slid along the rack. “Vicks?”

  “Mmmm?” Victoria pulled out a dark green velvet dress and cocked her head at it, then held it up to Natalya. “This would look great on you.”

  Ignoring the dress, Natalya said, “I’m nervous.”

  “Oh, Nat!” Victoria threw her arms around Natalya, accidentally clonking her in the head with the hanger she was holding.

  “Ouch!” Natalya complained, rubbing the back of her head. But she was laughing.

  Victoria laughed too. “I just wanted to get your mind off your date.”

  Natalya stopped laughing. “Do you really think it’s a date?” she asked quietly.

  “What do you mean?” asked Victoria. She had the feeling Natalya wasn’t just asking a simple yes-or-no question.

  “I don’t know.” Natalya ducked her head, letting her hair fall across her face. “I just…I don’t think I’m the kind of girl guys think of. You know, like that.” Even when she was done speaking, she didn’t look up.

  Victoria hugged the green dress to herself, as if it were Natalya. “You mean the kind of girl a guy would ask on a date?” she interpreted.

  Still not looking up, Natalya nodded.

  “Well…” Victoria began. Rather than stare at the top of Natalya’s lowered head, she studied the dress she was holding. The bodice was green velvet, so dark it was almost black, and the skirt was an equally dark silk. She fussed briefly with the thin strap holding it on the hanger as she composed her answer. “You’re a girl,” she said. “And Colin asked you to meet him somewhere, just the two of you, right?” She glanced over at her friend, who gave another brief nod.

  “I mean,” Victoria concluded, “if that’s not a date, what is?”

  Slowly, Natalya lifted her head. Her eyes were ever so slightly sparkly. “You think so? You really think…You really think Colin likes me?” She spoke the last three words so quietly, they were almost inaudible.

  In lieu of an answer, Victoria gave Natalya a huge grin. Natalya grinned back. Then her face grew worried, and she bit nervously at her lower lip. “I really like him, Vicks,” she confessed.

  “I know.” Victoria nodded. “He seems like the perfect guy for you.”

  Suddenly Natalya shook her entire body, like a dog emerging from the ocean. “Let’s talk about something else. I’m losing it.”

  “Okay,” Victoria agreed, her voice cheery. “Let’s talk about how awesome this dress is going to look on you.” She held the dress up against Natalya. As she’d thought it would, the dark green brought out the creaminess of Natalya’s skin and the reddish highlights in her hair.

  “I don’t know.” Natalya cocked her head and toyed doubtfully with the dress, turning it back and forth. “Strapless?”

  Victoria had the feeling the dress would speak for itself, so she just told Natalya to go into the fitting room and try it on.

  “Okay,” said Natalya, but she sounded like she was more interested in placating Victoria than in believing her.

  While Natalya was behind the black curtain that separated the fitting room of Act Two from the rest of the store, Victoria idly examined the other dresses hanging on the rack. She hesitated at one, a pale pink silk skirt with a dark pink bodice. It was soft and feminine, and she loved the way the silk felt against her skin. Jack would freak when he saw her in it.

  She dropped the dress back onto the hanger.

  Because Jack wouldn’t see her in it. He’d be at Rajiv’s birthday party the night of the opening. For a second, Victoria was irritated that he wouldn’t be at the opening with her, but immediately she felt bad. Rajiv was Jack’s oldest friend, and his parents were taking him, Jack, Lily, and Sam out for dinner. Would Victoria have bailed on Jane’s birthday dinner to go to an event with Jack?

  Of course not.

  She picked up the dress again. Just because Jack wouldn’t be at the opening didn’t mean she couldn’t look pretty. And who knew, maybe there’d be some event that he would be at that she could wear the dress to. Maybe the Frightened Pirates’ album would win a Grammy, and she and Jack would go to the awards ceremony together. She touched the silky fabric of the dress, imagining Jack accepting the award, turning to look out over the audience. Without the love of my girlfriend, I could never have won this award. She’s everything to me, and I owe everything to…

  Natalya stuck her head between the curtains. “I can’t wear this,” she hissed.

  Victoria snapped out of her reverie. “Let me see.”

  Natalya shook her head from side to side frantically. “I’m practically naked!” she whispered.

  “Let me see!” Victoria repeated.

  Natalya shook her head again, even more violently, and before Victoria could try to convince her to change her mind, the door to Act Two flew open and Jane stood on the threshold of the store.

  “Oh. My. God,” she announced. Behind the counter holding antique and costume jewelry sat Act Two’s only employee, a skinny twenty-something girl with a nose ring. She didn’t even raise an eyebrow at Jane’s dramatic entrance, just continued to read The Plague and sip her liter container of Fresca.

  “Where have you been?” cried Natalya and Victoria simultaneously.

  But instead of answering, Jane repeated herself. “Oh. My. God.” She walked to where they were huddled at the back of the store, then stared meaningfully at her friends. “Okay, what was I doing last night? Three guesses.”

 
“Um, seeing a movie with your mom,” offered Victoria. It was what Jane had told them she was doing, but Victoria couldn’t see how such an evening would translate into a dramatic Q and A.

  “Nope. Natalya?”

  Natalya stepped out of the dressing area, too intrigued by Jane’s mysterious question to worry about her naked back.

  “Wow, sister, you look hot!” Jane cried. Victoria turned around to see Natalya, then clapped with excitement. Jane was right: the low-cut dress was sexy and flattering, emphasizing Natalya’s small waist. And the color looked just as beautiful against her skin as Victoria had predicted. Wearing the dress, Natalya definitely looked like the kind of girl a guy would ask out on a date.

  “Um, just so you know? You’re buying that dress!” Jane informed her. Natalya opened her mouth to protest, but Jane held up her hand. “Save it, darling. Now…drumroll, please.” She gave her friends a flirtatious, knowing grin. “Who spent last night one-on-one with the hottest guy in the tri-state area?”

  Both Victoria and Natalya shrieked. Jane grabbed their hands and jumped up and down, shrieking also.

  “Oh my god! Oh my god!” they all yelled.

  Even nose-ringed Fresca girl couldn’t ignore three girls jumping around and screeching at the back of her store. “Everything okay?” she called.

  “Fine!” Jane called back before collapsing into hysterical giggles. She stepped toward a rack of dresses and pretended to be evaluating them. “Just looking at some clothes for an art opening we’re going to.”

  Victoria and Natalya moved swiftly to her side. “Spill it.” Victoria hissed.

  “Now,” Natalya added.

  Jane turned to face them and launched into the story of her evening.