McKellan's Run

by Nicole Hurley-Moore

  Chapter 17

  Violet dropped Holly off at school before she hurried over to McKellan’s Run. The next lot of deliveries were arriving today; including the wrought-iron rostrum she’d hired for the ceremony. She could only hope and pray her measurements, which she’d double-checked a dozen times, were right and the rostrum would fit into Mac’s courtyard without the need to cut into the flowerbed.

  Other than that, the eight oversized urns for the floral displays were arriving, along with several free-standing candelabras. The table, chairs and tableware would turn up closer to the actual wedding day.

  The days and hours were slipping by at what seemed a breathtaking rate and Violet knew that her time was down to the wire.

  The morning disappeared under a hoard of deliveries, trying to solve the mystery of a missing urn and three phone calls from Celine. It occurred to Violet that she was no longer counting the days to the wedding but rather to the day when she’d never have to see, speak, or listen to Celine ever again.

  At first, when Sarah had roped her into helping with the wedding she’d thought her biggest problem would be seeing Jason again. She’d been completely and utterly wrong about that—the problem was Celine.

  Mac’s house was a hive of activity. Sarah greeted her at the door with a wide smile.

  ‘Thank goodness you’re here. I was beginning to panic,’ she said with a nervous laugh.

  ‘You must never panic,’ said Violet. ‘Please leave me to do all the panicking.’

  ‘There’s been so many people coming and going, I wasn’t sure where everything was meant to go.’

  ‘Wherever you directed them will be fine,’ Violet said as she followed Sarah into the house.

  Sarah pointed to the large boxes that were sitting in one corner of the great room. ‘I just told the men to put those there, the invoice is on the top box. And the rostrum crew are already assembling it in the courtyard.’

  Violet looked through the French doors. Four men were busy putting the structure together and it wasn’t going to impinge on the flowerbed, thank goodness.

  ‘It’s going to look great! Now, let’s take a breath and put the kettle on,’ said Violet, putting her arms around Sarah. ‘Come on, relax. Everything is going to be fine.’

  Mac arrived back at the house after one o’clock and took a quick look at the chaos which had enveloped his normally tranquil home, grabbed Violet’s hand and pulled her out the back door.

  ‘Mac, I have a hundred things to do,’ said Violet in mock protest, since she was quite pleased with how the day was going.

  Mac turned and saw the laughter in her eyes. The afternoon sun caught her hair which shone deep-brown with hints of red. She was wearing it up again today, the dark tendrils snaking around the elegant curve of her neck and brushing her collarbone. Mac bit his lip to stop himself bending down and kissing the smooth skin of her throat.

  She looked so pretty in her tight blue cardigan and jeans which clung to her curves. She raised her head and smiled and his heart seemed to expand. God, she was beautiful.

  He tugged at her hand and led her away from the house.

  ‘Mac, where are we going?’ she asked. ‘I really do have heaps of things to do before the afternoon’s out.’

  ‘Just down here,’ said Mac, pointing to a large gum tree standing near the paddock fence. ‘I just want you alone for a few minutes. It’s so busy at the house, I can’t hear myself think.’

  ‘Alright, but I can’t be gone too long,’ said Violet letting him lead her along. ‘The rostrum is up but I have to double-check the RSVPs again. The cut-off date is past but they keep dribbling in and I’m the one who’ll have to tell Dan he has to feed more people than he thought.’

  ‘I’m sure he can handle it,’ said Mac. ‘He had to feed hundreds of people at some of the restaurants he worked at before he came home. What’s a couple more?’

  ‘Maybe, but he didn’t look too pleased yesterday when I confessed there were another six attending.’

  ‘Hey, it’s not your fault. Jason and Celine should have given you more time.’

  ‘I know, but I’m the one getting it in the neck—mostly from the blushing bride.’

  Mac grinned—he just couldn’t help it.

  ‘What? Why are you grinning at me?’ said Violet.

  Mac gave a shrug before he pulled her into his arms. ‘I don’t know. Maybe I just like how you stand your ground with Celine.’

  He leant his back against the tree and held her close. Staring out across McKellan’s Run while holding Violet Beckett in his arms—life couldn’t get much better than this.

  ‘I’m not a nice person, Mac.’

  ‘Sure you are,’ said Mac.

  Violet shook her head and held up her finger and thumb to demonstrate. ‘No, over the last couple of weeks I’ve been this close to telling Celine what exactly I think of her and where she could put her wedding.’

  ‘And what stopped you?’

  ‘A range of things—like I need the money and I didn’t want to disappoint your mum since she was depending on me.’

  ‘Yep, you’re really a horrible hard-arse.’

  Violet gave him a nudge. ‘Oh shut up.’

  Mac chuckled and kissed the top of her head. ‘This may not be the right time to ask but I have a few questions,’ he said, his expression more serious.

  Violet stiffened in his arms. ‘Like what?’

  He had to ask, he told himself. This wasn’t the right time but he couldn’t wait any longer.

  ‘Is Holly Jason’s daughter?’

  Violet stepped away from his embrace, turned and walked towards the house without looking back.

  Mac winced as he felt an impenetrable wall slam down between them. It had been such a happy and relaxed moment and he’d gone and ruined it all. But he needed an answer so he . . . they could move on and build a relationship.

  He wanted Violet more than anything but if they were going to have a future together he needed to know the truth from Violet. Deep down he already knew the answer but he needed to hear it from her lips. Mac quickly caught up to Violet.

  ‘Tell me the truth, Violet. Is Holly my niece?’ Mac asked as he took a step forward and stood directly in front of her.

  Violet swallowed hard. She wouldn’t lie to him, he deserved better than that. ‘Yes, you’d already worked that out, hadn’t you?’

  ‘Pretty much, but I needed you to tell me.’

  She raised her head and looked at him. His expression was serious but she saw both softness and love for her in his eyes. ‘I wouldn’t trade Holly for anything. She’s made my life better than I could ever have imagined.’

  ‘I know that. You’re an amazing mother and she’s a wonderful kid,’ said Mac as he bridged the gap between them. He reached out and placed his large hands on her shoulders. They were warm and comforting. ‘Why didn’t you tell me earlier?’

  Violet tried to pull away but Mac wouldn’t let her. ‘It doesn’t really matter, does it? It was years ago. It’s all forgotten, in fact I’ve rarely thought about Jason. I just got on with looking after Lily and bringing Holly up. Of course I couldn’t avoid reliving it all when I moved back home but I’d had so much time to move on. And then it wasn’t until your mother badgered me into helping her with the wedding that I really had to confront it all again.’

  Mac dipped his head and whispered in her ear, ‘Please Violet, just this once tell me what happened.’

  The warmth of his breath made her tingle. ‘Grandad kicked me out of his house once I told him I was pregnant. Lily said she wouldn’t stay here in Violet Falls without me, no matter what I said. She’s stood by me through thick and thin; and believe me, there was a lot of thin,’ Violet added with a smile. ‘Anyway, we packed up my little car and headed to Melbourne. I drove straight to Jason’s new share house. I thought . . . God, I was an idiot back then. I thought Jason might be happy about the baby now that he had a job and all.’

  ‘But he wasn’t . . . right
?’

  ‘That would be an understatement. It was as if three years together had counted for nothing. He said he’d been wanting to end the relationship for a while. That the part of his life with me was over and we were both far too young to be having a child. He said he needed to concentrate on his job and I should have an abortion. Anyway the upshot was that I was pregnant with no prospect of him being around. I know a lot of people would have had an abortion and I respect that but I just couldn’t, so I found an apartment and used the money I’d earnt over the previous year to tide us over until I got a job.’

  Mac held her against his chest not saying anything.

  ‘As I said, it was a long time ago and he did try to get in contact with me through Mr Taylor a while later. Your parents did too, even though they couldn’t have known I was pregnant. You have to understand, Mac, I never once regretted having Holly. Whatever I had to go through in the past, she was worth it.’

  There was a sense of relief for Violet as she looked up into Mac’s eyes. Her mind had played over this scene a hundred times, not knowing how it would affect Mac’s feelings for her. But Mac wasn’t Jason. He was dependable and strong and made her feel safe.

  ‘Anyway, everything worked out—Holly, Lily and me. We were, we are, just fine.’

  ‘You amaze me, Violet,’ Mac said softly.

  ‘Why?’ said Violet. ‘I just did what I needed to do.’

  ‘Because you were so young and everything you did must have taken a lot of courage and hard work,’ said Mac, drawing her even tighter.

  Violet felt so protected in his arms. She was caught in his essence, his scent, his spell. She couldn’t pull away now—not that she wanted to. The stolen kisses he had taken over the past few days had all been leading to this moment.

  She wouldn’t waste any more time. She wanted Mac McKellan more than she thought possible.

  His lips touched hers and she responded, savouring his kisses—which changed from gentle and cosseting to all consuming. Violet wrapped her arms around him and hung on, heat licking through her body, her heart thumping as she pressed against him.

  His tongue rubbed against hers and all of a sudden she couldn’t seem to get him close enough. She needed to feel his skin next to hers.

  Lust, want and need burned through her like a bushfire. She’d denied herself for too long. She’d suppressed this aspect of herself, burying it deep. Violet had spent all of her time trying to be the perfect mother and sister and denying the woman within. Love and passion had changed her life once and she’d shied away from it ever since. Not trusting it or herself. But this was different, Mac was different. This force circled her and pulled her into its depths, overwhelming her utterly.

  As Mac pushed against her, she slipped her hands under his shirt and rubbed them across the warm expanse of his back. She wanted Mac McKellan more than she’d ever wanted anything in her life. And he wanted her so he could fix everything.

  Where the hell did that idea come from?

  But she was right wasn’t she?

  This was Mac’s way of making things right. Cleaning up his brother’s little mess. Oh God!

  She pulled her hands out from his shirt and tried to take a step back but there was nowhere for her to go.

  ‘I need you, Violet. I love . . .’ Mac raised his head. ‘What’s wrong?’

  ‘I think we got a bit carried away.’

  ‘That’s okay. We can slow things down, whatever you want, I’ll do it,’ Mac said his arms still wound around her.

  ‘I’m not sure if this is such a good idea, Mac, I mean with our history . . .’

  ‘What history? Violet, what the hell are you talking about?’

  ‘Okay fine, the history I have with your family, with your brother.’

  ‘I don’t give a damn about the past, Violet. Fuck the history. I just want a future, with you,’ he said as he released her.

  Violet felt bereft without his touch. Here she was trying to do the right thing, the noble thing and not let him sacrifice himself. Mac deserved so much more.

  ‘You don’t mean that, Mac. You’re just trying to fix things like you always do. You want to protect me and Holly and I can’t tell you how much that means to me. No one has ever wanted to do that before. But I can’t let you; it wouldn’t be fair.’

  ‘Is that what you think?’ he asked. ‘After what just happened? You think I’m with you out of some sort of misguided duty?’

  ‘You’re a good man but I’ve said it before, I’m not your mistake or your problem.’

  He pushed away from the fence and walked off without a look or a word.

  ‘Mac! Mac, please don’t leave like this. Please don’t just walk away.’

  He whirled around and faced her, crossing his arms in front of his chest as if he was putting a barrier between them.

  ‘Is that the way you want to play it? Damned if I know if you’re stubborn or just plain blind. Either way, I can’t talk to you right now.’

  ‘Mac.’

  ‘Just leave it, Violet. Before something is said that can’t be taken back,’ he said, turning again and walking away, his anger palpable and the air almost crackling with tension. The look in his eyes made it clear she’d hurt him. She’d never meant that to happen.

  ‘Mac!’

  He didn’t answer or stop, he just kept walking, his back stiff and unyielding.

  Mac cut across the paddock and stomped his way up the hill towards a small clump of gum trees on the ridge.

  Violet was doing his head in. He burned for her; he wanted her so badly he could hardly think straight. And the way she’d just kissed him back. Man, he still felt scorched by it.

  Mac leaned against the nearest tree and breathed in the eucalyptus-scented air. He rubbed his hand across the back of his neck and stared out across the grey-green of the distant bush. He inhaled deeply and then blew out, trying to take some of the edge off his anger. It didn’t. Mac dropped his gaze and kicked up a bit of the ground with his boot but stopped when he saw a line of bull ants scurrying over the upturned earth and dead gum leaves. Letting out a loud sigh filled with frustration, he slumped against the tree trunk. He tried to calm down but all he could think of and feel was Violet’s lips on his.

  Shit.

  He pushed himself away from the tree and started walking down the other side of the ridge. A couple of kilometres ahead was the ruined cottage of the first McKellans, perhaps by the time he’d made his way there he could come up with some sort of solution. He doubted it but maybe the walk would clear his head.

  How was he going to get Violet to see that he loved her for who she was—strong, courageous, amazing and beautiful? Yes, he did want to love her, protect her and make her and Holly his family, but not because of some weird and misguided duty that he needed to fix his brother’s mistake.

  How could Violet ever be a mistake? How could she even think that?

  He walked across the pasture, his work boots crushing the soft green grass as he went.

  And how the hell was he going to get her to believe him?

  Chapter 18

  Mac didn’t call Violet that night and he wasn’t anywhere to be found when Violet arrived at McKellan’s Run the next day. He was avoiding her, and who could blame him?

  She’d hurt him and that was something she never meant to do. She thought she’d worked it all out. Mac was a great guy but one who had a need to make everything right. She’d been so sure that was his main reason for their fledgling relationship. But the more she thought about it, the more she began to think she was wrong.

  She let out a long sigh as she turned over and plumped up the pillows for the third time. The little clock on the nightstand said 3.24 a.m. and she bit back a groan.

  Violet rolled onto her back and stared at the ceiling. She was scared, that was the truth. Deep down inside, she was terrified that if she let Mac in then he’d end up breaking her heart just like Jason had done.

  Since her break-up with Jason, Violet had be
en very careful about seeing anyone. She kept everything light and friendly. Over the years she’d had a couple of flings but nothing that lasted more than a few weeks. She didn’t do serious—serious could screw you up. So she never let anyone get too close—it was safer that way.

  But Mac McKellan was different. For the first time in years, Violet caught herself picturing a future with him. He was kind, gentle and as sexy as hell. His kisses aroused her more than anything she’d ever experienced. He was that dangerous. She was letting her guard slip and it terrified her.

  She’d built a thick wall around herself and she didn’t think she’d survive if she was hurt again.

  But it wasn’t fair; Mac was nothing like his brother. It was just that Mac seemed so sure of what he wanted; her. And that made her uneasy. Could she really trust another McKellan with her heart? Or worse still, with Holly’s?

  Did she have the right to start something, something that could be amazing and wonderful? Did she even deserve it? But what would happen if it didn’t work out? Should she even contemplate exposing Holly to that? Holly was already emotionally attached to Mac; what happened if it all soured, how would her little girl cope with that? How would she?

  Violet closed her eyes in an attempt to finally fall asleep. But as soon as her eyelids shut, an image of Mac with his smiling hazel-green eyes swam in her head along with his words: ‘Ah, come on Violet, take a chance and kiss me.’

  After a sleepless night Violet knew she needed to fix things with Mac. Somewhere around 5 a.m. she’d come to a decision. She’d spent years avoiding relationships and she finally recognised that she had trust issues. Dragging around that much baggage could be exhausting but no matter how unfair it was—she always knew that nothing would last.

  She’d been let down and hurt in the past but it wasn’t fair to assume that Mac would do the same. She wanted to believe that but it was so hard. What she needed was a little faith—no man she’d ever met held a candle to Mac. She wasn’t giving Mac a chance to prove himself and she knew it.