The Hambledown Dream

by Dean Mayes

Sonya smiled, trying not to look too hopeful. “Perhaps you will. Don’t practice too hard.”

  Sonya stepped back, holding his hand a moment longer, holding his gaze. Then she turned and headed back to where Joss was standing. Andy watched her go, unable to take his eyes off her until he realized he had forgotten to breathe.

  Michyko appeared beside him and tugged at his arm.

  “There you are! We’ve been looking all over for you. Have you had enough praise thrust upon you yet?”

  “I think so,” Andy smiled, still gazing after Sonya, who had disappeared into the crowd.

  Michyko followed his gaze fleetingly.

  “Well, a group of us have decided to hit a pub in the city that was recommended to us. Want to join us?”

  “Yeah, that would be cool.”

  Michyko gave him a silly grin. “Who are you looking at?” she ribbed him conspiratorially.

  Andy squirmed uncomfortably and blushed.

  “Nobody,” he said, a little too quickly.

  Michyko studied him with mock suspicion. “Nobody - a likely story. Come on - we’ll miss the cab.”

  Andy followed Michyko out of the Pavilion, looking back to where Sonya had been standing, but she was no longer there.

  Sonya and Joss had hailed a cab just outside the Garden not too long after. As they rode towards the city, Joss noted a curious expression on Sonya’s face and she smiled mischievously.

  “If I didn’t know better, Sonya, I would swear that you’ve gone all doe-eyed, haven’t you?” she teased.

  Sonya screwed up her nose at Joss.

  “Oh stop it. You’re insufferable.”

  But deep down, Sonya couldn’t deny that Joss was right.

  “Personally, I definitely think he’s hot,” Joss persisted, trying to get a rise out of Sonya.

  Sonya just laughed softly and watched through the window as the lights of the city passed by. She felt an old, familiar warm glow within that she hadn’t felt in a long time.

  ***

  While the others went on a tour of the city the following morning, Andy decided to slip out early and walk down to the Gardens. He had hardly slept a wink. All he could think about was Sonya, their meeting in the Pavilion and the brief conversation they’d shared. He couldn’t forget the touch of her hand, or the way she had smiled at him. All of it came back, the memories of how it had been before he died. He had intended to watch the heats and take in some of the other concert events around the Gardens, but now that Andy had found her, all he wanted to do was to find her again.

  His walk took no more than twenty minutes. Crossing over a wide thoroughfare separating the Fitzroy Gardens from the smaller Treasury Gardens, Andy saw that a sizable crowd was already gathering on the lawns in front of the conservatory building. Though it was not quite 10 a.m., the intense summer sun was beginning to warm the city and Andy felt beads of sweat forming on his brow. Quickly dabbing them away, he made his way into the Gardens.

  Several stages had been set up throughout the Gardens that were to play host to performers from all across the world. They ranged from blues and roots artists, exponents of world music - in particular, the genres from South American and Spanish influences - and several well-known jazz outfits that were visiting from the U.K., the U.S. and Europe. There was no doubting the feast of music on offer for someone with an appetite for the kinds of musical styles that Andy had.

  Andy stopped by the Pavilion and bought a coffee and a muffin - he hadn’t had anything to eat this morning - then he sat down to browse through the program. He had made a mental list of a number of artists he wanted to see perform while he was here, including a namesake of his, Doug de Vries, a celebrated Australian guitarist who had caught his eye when he was still in high school. There was also Slava Grigoryan, who had immigrated to Australia with his family as a child and who had become one of Australia’s most prominent classical guitarists. It was Grigoryan’s interpretation of “The Sounds Of Rain” that he had first heard so long ago as a child. In the back of his mind, Andy was distracted from the festival. He kept looking up, hoping to see her, hoping that she would be here somewhere, that she would suddenly materialize. But she wasn’t anywhere to be seen. It was still early, after all.

  He was greeted by some of the performers from the previous day’s heat and spent some time chatting with them. Their conversation was welcoming. They talked about the music on offer throughout the week, and Andy received yet more congratulations and good wishes for the semifinal. But all he wanted to do was to extricate himself and take in some of today’s musical acts.

  And, hopefully, bump into Sonya.

  How was he going to tell her? Andy had wrestled with the question through a sleepless night. He had no idea. The notion of reincarnation was preposterous. Even he’d had trouble in coming to terms with it in the beginning. Though Sonya was a soulful person, for as long as he could remember, she had always been fairly grounded and wasn’t particularly drawn to matters of faith. He couldn’t just walk up to her and announce, “Hey, I’m your dead lover, come back to life in the body of a reformed drug addict.”

  Andy shook his head in frustration.

  He had no idea how she had coped on her own once he had died. He couldn’t be sure whether she was still grieving. Andy reasoned that the only way he could convince her would be to spend some time with her - get to know her in this guise, and then reveal himself. Andy felt an uncomfortable pressure building in his chest. His confidence was shaky.

  How can I tell her?

  He meandered up to an old stone bandstand far from the conservatory and took in a performance by a jazz quartet that had attracted a sizable audience. He sat on the grass and tried to relax. Every so often he stole an opportunity to look around in the hope that he might spot her somewhere in the audience.

  But she wasn’t there.

  Andy eventually made his way back to the southern end of the Gardens, to the conservatory where the afternoon heats would be taking place. He bought a mineral water and made his way across the lawn to find a spot on the grass.

  “Hello, Andy.”

  Andy spun around at the sound of her voice and found Sonya and Joss relaxing on a rug on the lawn just a few feet away. His heart skipped a beat. Sonya waved to him, and he smiled warmly as she gestured for him to come over.

  “Hello again,” he greeted, placing his hands in his pocket and walking over to them as casually as he could, trying desperately not to seem too eager.

  Sonya was wearing a light cotton dress with a pearl-colored cardigan, and large sunglasses underneath a large sun hat. A pair of leather sandals lay near her feet. She looked radiant.

  Sonya lifted the brim of her hat as he approached.

  “Beautiful day, isn’t it?” she said. “We’ve really turned it on for you, don’t you agree?”

  Andy nodded reservedly and lifted his hands to his eyes to shield them from the mid-morning sun.

  “I’m finding Melbourne addictive. I could get used to this.”

  Sonya got to her feet as he stopped before their blanket, and turned towards Joss, who had also stood and was brushing down her three-quarter-length cargo trousers. She wore a multicolored top that showed off her tanned arms.

  “Andrew DeVries, I’d like you to meet Jocelyn Banister, a very good friend of mine.”

  Andy stepped forward to take Denny’s sister’s hand.

  “It’s Andy, please,” he said.

  As he offered his hand to Joss, Sonya’s eyes fell across his forearm. The shirt he wore was rolled part-way up and it pulled taut, sliding up as he stretched out his hand. She caught a fleeting glimpse of something there.

  Sonya’s eyes drifted from their exchange and across the grounds. A breeze had rustled the tree under which they sat. Three leaves were dislodged from the lower branches and fell to the ground, where they settled on the lush grass for a moment. Sonya tilted her head curiously as the echoes of the reverie played themselves out for real, here and now. She is captivated by
the leaves and their gentle motion. She hears an echoing laughter of children nearby.

  Her eyes refocused on Andy’s arm, but he was already drawing it away.

  “You can call me Joss,” Denny’s sister said. “Though I’m sure you’ve already heard this a bunch of times, I thought you were amazing yesterday. There’s a real buzz for you out there already.”

  Andy blushed and scratched the grass nervously with his foot.

  “Well, there’s a long way to go until Saturday, and I’m not taking anything for granted right now. There are a lot of better performers here than me.”

  “Are you here to watch the heats this afternoon?” Sonya ventured hopefully, as Joss nudged her elbow with a discreet grin.

  “Yeah. I thought I’d see if there was a patch of ground up near the front so I could get a good view of the performers, but somehow, I think I might be pushing my luck.”

  “You could join us - if you’d like,” Sonya offered. Oh God, could I be any more desperate?

  Andy gave the pretense of considering her offer, even though inside he was nearly bursting. He nodded and smiled again.

  “Thank you. That would be nice.”

  They made room on the rug and then sat down to watch the afternoon heats, during which they shared a conversation that seemed very natural and very easy to sustain. Joss gently maneuvered it by asking Andy questions about himself, encouraging him to talk a little about life in Chicago: how incredibly cold it was there right now in contrast to here in Melbourne. He talked about the Conservatory and Veldtman, as well as working and playing at The Pub.

  Andy’s concentration drifted towards the stage for a time and he studied the performers carefully, noting how they played, listening closely to their style, looking for flaws in their technique. He was particular focused on a young German virtuoso that had scored very high in her heat the previous day and was considered to be a leading contender among the contestants and officials. Sonya found herself stealing glances at him. She watched his expressions, the way he made subtle movements of his head as he listened to the music, as though he were moving with it. There was something so familiar about him and so attractive. But she felt the troubling, distracting guilt once more. The inner voice that scolded her for these feelings, telling her it was wrong.

  Andy could sense her looking at him. He did the same a few times, their eyes meeting for just the briefest of moments before both of them bashfully looked away. He had so longed to be around her again. He couldn’t believe his circumstances here and now. She was so beautiful, exactly how he remembered her from his adopted memories - Denny’s memories.

  During an interval, Andy excused himself so he could go to the bathroom. Once he was out of view, Joss nudged Sonya in the ribs.

  “What do you think?” she interrogated Sonya eagerly. “He is definitely interested.”

  Sonya flashed Joss a glare, but she couldn’t maintain her facade.

  “All right, all right - he is cute,” Sonya grinned awkwardly. “But I didn’t come here to meet anyone, Joss. I know that may have been in your plan, but I just don’t need that kind of complication right now.”

  Joss shook her head, fishing a bottle of wine out of their picnic basket and pouring them each a glass.

  “Sonya. You’re a beautiful woman, but you are stubborn. Denny wouldn’t have wanted you to remain alone. He would’ve wanted you to be happy. Why don’t you allow yourself the chance for some happiness? This guy is interested in you, and you’re sure as shit interested in him.”

  Sonya tilted her head slowly with a pained expression.

  “I just can’t.”

  Joss leveled a disapproving eye at her.

  “You’re stalling, Sonya. If you don’t at least ask him out for a coffee, I will. You know you want to.”

  Sonya’s shoulders slumped in a mock gesture of defeat and she laughed, sipping from her glass. She couldn’t rail against Joss’s persistence any longer.

  “You are relentless.”

  Joss nodded triumphantly and looked over Sonya’s shoulder. Andy was coming back.

  “Here he comes.”

  Both women smiled a little too broadly at Andy as he approached, causing him to look about and check himself over.

  “Do I have something on my face?”

  “Not at all,” Joss replied, patting the rug and gesturing towards the basket. “Can I offer you a drink?”

  Before Andy could respond, she had poured him a glass and was handing it over.

  He sensed right away that something was cooking between the two women.

  Joss kept whispering in Sonya’s ear; he could see her out of the corner of his eye.

  Probably trying to engineer something, Andy mused.

  Ever the social butterfly, Joss was adept at playing matchmaker when there was even the slightest whiff of potential romance. He wanted to slap his - Denny’s - younger sister on the arm the way he always used to. In her presence, a whole new flood of memories sprang forth from Denny’s consciousness and into Andy’s: memories of his childhood, of growing up with Joss. They had been inseparable as children.

  As the performances continued, Andy told the women what he was keen to study about the performers. He explained the importance of their technique, how they presented themselves on stage, how they played the pieces they had chosen. The performance wasn’t merely an exercise in the technical mastery of the guitar or the music, but it was also a performance of emotions. One needed to feel the music, to know its history and its meaning, and apply those to the performance. Sonya listened to him intently, absorbed by his genuine love for the art of the guitar. She was captivated by his enthusiasm for it, how he described the stories behind the pieces themselves. It was clear he had a deep knowledge of music - a passion for it.

  The concert finished towards late afternoon, and the trio remained on the rug while the crowds of people began to disperse slowly towards other parts of the Gardens. Others remained, continuing their picnics and barbecues with the clear intention of staying around long into the evening to take in a concert by the Melbourne Symphony Orchestra.

  Joss looked at her watch and gestured wordlessly to Sonya that they had to think about heading off. Sonya looked disappointed, her brow furrowing at Denny’s sister worriedly. Joss pointed towards Andy with her eyes and pursed her lips tightly as though she were saying, “Ask him!”

  Sonya felt her pulse reverberating in her ears, felt her breath quicken as a rush of adrenaline surged through. She couldn’t believe what she was about to do.

  Turning to Andy, she smiled.

  “We have to go,” she said regretfully. “We’re meeting Joss’s parents for dinner on the other side of the city, and we’re sort of running against the clock.”

  “Oh. OK,” Andy replied. Inwardly his mind shouted at him: What are you doing?

  They stood up, and Joss began packing up the picnic basket while Andy and Sonya stood to one side.

  “Thank you for inviting me to join you today,” Andy said warmly.

  Sonya nodded, fidgeting with her hands and biting the inside of her lip. Clearly she had something more to say.

  “It was nice,” she said, pausing clumsily.

  She closed her eyes and took a quick breath.

  “Umm ... are you free at all ... tomorrow?” she asked. “I thought maybe you’d like to - you know - have a cup of coffee. If you have time.”

  Andy blinked, caught unprepared by the question that he himself had been building up to asking.

  “I would love to,” he said quietly, with a smile. “I don’t have any commitments tomorrow as far as I know - so, yeah.”

  Joss watched the two of them gazing dumbly at one another and screwed her face up out of view. It was all she could do to stop herself from squealing with delight.

  Andy checked his watch and looked up at Sonya.

  “Should we meet at my hotel at, say, about 10? I’m staying at The Windsor.”

  Sonya nodded, unable to pull her gaze aw
ay from his, unable to wipe the smile from her face. Andy stepped forward and took her hand gently.

  “Thank you,” he whispered, before nodding to Joss. “Nice meeting you, too, Joss.”

  “Likewise. I’ll look forward to seeing you on Saturday.”

  Andy turned away slowly, without taking his eyes off Sonya, and parted. As he crossed over a path and under a line of trees his smile broke into a broad grin and he felt a rush of endorphins course though him. He felt so giddy that he feared his legs might give way underneath him.

  He could not believe his luck.

  CHAPTER 21

  Andy sat in the foyer of the Windsor Hotel the next morning, flipping through the daily newspaper. He wasn’t really taking anything in, however; he was far too distracted. The only thing he had thought about since returning to the hotel last night was her. He had woken insanely early and spent several hours sitting on his bed, watching television, strumming his guitar, pacing the room. Doing anything he could think of to pass the time, wishing the minutes away until he could see Sonya again. He’d showered twice, so nervous and excited and terrified was he. It was like going on a first date all over again.

  A first date.

  Denny had got tickets to an indie music festival in Melbourne during the summer. It must have been three or four years ago. He and Sonya had just reconnected again at university after many years apart. It was an incredibly hot day, and they had spent most of it in and out of specially provided mist tents that had been fitted with sprinkler systems to cool down the revelers at the venue. People drank fiercely, the atmosphere was electric and the music was awesome. It was a wild and crazy day, and during it they had fallen for each other.

  Denny and Sonya had been childhood friends. She was a willowy tomboy, athletic, bold and self-assured, even then. He was an awkward and shy kid, a little clumsy perhaps, but in her company he felt at ease. She exuded a calmness that rubbed off on people, especially him. They had grown up together near the Melbourne seaside. They’d attended the local primary school, played in the park, on the beach, in Denny’s tree house on weekends. Their families had lived next door to each other. Sonya and Denny were practically joined at the hip, inseparable. Then, after the sixth grade, Sonya’s parents moved away to Hambledown. Denny and Sonya were devastated. Though they kept in touch for a time; but time moved on and their letters petered out. Only when Sonya came back to Melbourne to attend university did they rekindle their friendship. It was as though the years they’d spent apart had never been, and before too long they had fallen deeply in love.