Elysium

by Thea Landen

  Bliss coursed through me and prickled at my eyes. “I don’t know what’s going to happen to me once we—once I leave here.” His sturdy chest muffled the words. “There’s so much ahead of me that I have to figure out, and I need to remember that you’d want me to be the best April I can be.” I clung to him, afraid he’d disappear again if I let go. “But there are still so many mornings where I wake up and don’t know how I’m going to do it without you.”

  Kevin didn’t say anything. Not much would’ve been helpful, anyway. I took another deep breath and let it out.

  “I think I can do it, though. I’ll find a way. For me, and for you, and for us.” I demonstrated more conviction than I expected. “Because no matter what comes next, I love you.”

  “I love you too, kitten.”

  I leaned back to stare up at him. Glimmering blue eyes gazed back, and for one amazing moment, I was the most special woman in the whole universe. With as much giddy apprehension as I’d felt on our early dates, I angled my head to the side and waited for him to come to me.

  His mouth pressed against mine. A breath hitched in my throat and I parted my lips for him. His tongue slipped inside, winding around mine, and I suddenly lived the dream of kissing my husband again.

  Except it was wrong, all wrong. Kevin never kissed me like that. His hands weren’t in the right place, his lips didn’t feel like that, and I couldn’t sense his energy, his passion. That was not Kevin.

  I jerked away from him, cursing this stupid, stupid idea. Coming into the virtual reality had been a mistake. I only tortured myself with impossible delusions. When I scrutinized him once more, I saw nothing but a lifeless puppet, and it was as if he’d been ripped away from me all over again.

  I wanted to run away, but I inhabited a place that didn’t exist. My hands rushed up to take off the helmet and they met nothing but hair. Panic set in, and I gasped for air. I needed to escape.

  I spun around, searching for any way out. I found none. “Drew!” I yelled. “Drew! Make it stop!”

  The pleas echoed in my ears as I plunged into darkness. The air whisked out of me and my eyes flew open. I saw the blurred walls of the room inside the brick building in Connecticut on planet Earth, and footsteps thudded through the doorway.

  I pitched forward in the chair, tearing the goggles away from the headset. Drew appeared, and I shoved the helmet at him after yanking it off. I swung my legs down to the floor, the sneakers’ soles slapping against the linoleum. If I didn’t get out of there, I would explode.

  Before I could flee Elysium and forget that any of it ever happened, anguish slammed into me as if someone had hit me with a baseball bat. Scalding tears spilled and a choked sob ripped from my chest. Unable to move from the recliner, I slumped over and buried my face in my hands. I hadn’t expected the date to end with me crying the hardest I had in a long time.

  The wheels of the desk chair scraped across the tiles. Through my wet fingers, I saw Drew’s khaki pants come into view. He draped one arm loosely around my shoulders, as if he was afraid to touch me. I leaned into him, tears dampening the crisp sleeve of his shirt. I didn’t like that I’d become a hysterical mess in front of someone I barely knew, but I was just so desperate to not feel alone that I didn’t care. Clinging to him, I ground myself in the reality of his strong arms and tender touch.

  In between sniffles, realization sank in, forming a pit inside me. Somewhere deep down had lived the belief if I did all the right things, I’d be with my husband again. If I was good enough, if I prayed hard enough…hell, I’d even journeyed into a virtual plane of existence to search for him. Although two years had gone by, it wasn’t until that precise moment that acceptance finally kicked in with a painful jolt.

  I couldn’t ever have Kevin back.

  Drew

  I’d failed. Either I hadn’t gotten enough information, or I wasn’t as skilled a programmer as I’d always thought, or—it didn’t matter. I’d had a job to do, and I’d fucked it up. April sobbed into my shoulder. I never should have attempted anything as complex as that kiss.

  I came over to her in an effort to console her, and I doubted I’d even succeeded at that. In trying to offer her comfort, I’d contorted myself into an awkward position, trapping us between her chair and mine. The helmet she flung at me balanced on one leg, and my opposite elbow stuck out at an unnatural angle as I struggled to hold her in some sort of odd embrace. Terrific.

  Her tears pooled on my upper arm, soaking through the shirt. “I’m sorry,” she kept repeating, her voice strained and muffled. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry….”

  “No, I’m sorry.” My throat constricted, and for a second I thought I’d start crying with her. I grieved for a man I never met, and twinges of guilt tugged at my conscience as I thought about all the times I’d envied him. Coupled with the blatant shortcomings in operating Elysium’s software, I was not feeling very good about myself. “I’m sorry I let you down.” One arm tightened around her and shame pushed the next selfish words out. “I wanted to give you something no one else could. I wanted to let you be happy again.”

  Little by little, April calmed down. She stopped shaking and her breathing slowed. Lifting her head, she stared at me with red-rimmed eyes. Something shifted within their gray depths, and she moved as if to stand. I expected her to disentangle herself from me and gather her belongings, but she leaned against the edge of the chair, wedging one knee between my thigh and the armrest. Before I could react, her hands were in my hair, her tongue was in my mouth, and she kissed me with a blazing intensity as if it was the last thing she’d ever do.

  What?

  Kiss her back, you idiot.

  Without breaking contact, I tilted backward in the chair and set the virtual headset on the floor behind me. When I had both hands free, I grasped her waist and pulled her closer. Her lips were soft and inviting, and the taste of her tongue as she swirled it around mine hypnotized me. Could this really be happening?

  I skimmed both palms over her sides and back. Her body was warm through her thin T-shirt, and I yearned to discover what her skin felt like beneath her clothing. Afraid to push too far too fast in case I broke whatever spell we were under, I settled for weaving my fingers through her long, smooth locks.

  Any intentions I had of keeping our exploration innocent flew out the window when she climbed farther onto the chair. Straddling me, she gave my lower lip a sharp nibble, and I tried not to groan in response. Wrapping my arms around her, I lost myself to the fervor of our kiss. She had to have felt the expanding erection stirring beneath her.

  She pulled away from me, her face flushed scarlet. “Oh my God,” she mumbled, clasping her hands over her mouth. “What is wrong with me?”

  The chair wheels squeaked as she jumped off me and rushed toward the back of the room where her bag sat on the table. I sprang up and chased after her. The thought of being alone that night was unbearable, and if she walked out that door, I didn’t know what I’d do.

  “April, wait!” I grabbed her wrist with more force than I anticipated, jerking her back toward me. She turned, her body mere inches from mine. I closed the remaining gap between us, and my mouth grew dry. “Please don’t go.”

  She stared up at me, eyes wide and lips parted. Her nose scrunched up and her forehead creased as turmoil and indecision darkened her expression. Realizing I still held her arm, I let it drop. Regardless of how much I wanted her to stay with me, I didn’t want to take advantage of her vulnerability.

  Her head tilted to the side and her eyebrows angled upward. “I’m so confused,” she whispered.

  I swallowed, unsure of what to say. The decision had to be hers. “If you have to leave, if you don’t feel comfortable here, I understand. It’s been a rough day, and I shouldn’t make it any worse.”

  The words sounded reasonable as I spoke them. Inside, I begged and screamed for her to touch me again. April didn’t move. Her gaze traveled up and down the length of me, her eyes finally returning t
o mine to meet those silent pleas. “Kiss me again?”

  It came out as more of a tentative request than an impassioned demand. Standing in front of her, I was tempted to envelop her in another embrace right there, but it reminded me too much of the rendered scene that caused her such distress. I needed to make this kiss mine. Taking her hands in mine—gentler this time—I backed toward the cushioned recliner and sat down on the flat portion. She sat next to me and waited.

  Using one thumb, I brushed some of the moisture away from her cheekbone. Her lashes fluttered, and I cupped the side of her face with my palm. Exercising immense restraint, I grazed my lips against hers with the faintest pressure.

  Her jaw relaxed beneath me. I advanced, and her mouth opened to welcome me inside. Our tongues mingled together, engaged in a flirtatious game. She squeezed my thigh, her fingers pressing into me with the unspoken declaration of her choice.

  I slid an arm around her waist and pulled her with me to the back of the chair. She broke away and shook her head. “No,” she said. “Not here.” She stood and I caught the first glimpse of a genuine smile outside the simulation. “You told me what else is in the building, but you didn’t show me.”

  Oh. My cock throbbed when I realized this gorgeous woman who had consumed my daydreams for weeks suggested I take her to the bedroom. “I-it’s right at the end of the hallway,” I stammered, ushering her toward the door.

  Had I known I’d be hosting company, I would have made the bed and maybe spruced up the room a little bit with something other than a lamp and an alarm clock. If April minded the rumpled sheets and sparse accommodations, she didn’t show it. Once inside, she stepped closer to me and trailed a finger down the length of my tie. “Drew? Can you do me a favor?”

  My heart pounded. “Anything.”

  She reached up and loosened the knot of striped fabric. “I’m not sure if this suits you.” She giggled. “You looked so uncomfortable when I first got here.”

  Though positive I blushed at her comment, I chuckled. It felt good to laugh with her. “I wanted to make a good first impression.”

  “You did.” She worked one end out of the knot and the tie slipped away.

  “I’m glad.” My face burned as though on fire, but I blurted out a confession anyway. “As soon as I saw you and read all the beautiful things you wrote, I couldn’t wait to meet you in person.”

  Her fingers hovered at the shirt’s top button. “You were very courteous and respectful when I got here.” She undid the first closure. “And you took the time to answer any questions I had, which was nice.” Two more buttons followed suit. “I wasn’t sure if you did that with all your clients, or if they were even interested, but it didn’t matter then.”

  Another two buttons and she’d arrived at my waistband. Thinking about her hands dipping lower had me so hard I could barely breathe.

  She tugged the shirt out of the khakis and unfastened the last of the buttons. “You were nothing but professional from the beginning, and I appreciate that. I’m sure your other clients do as well.” The shirt’s two halves drifted apart, exposing the white undershirt beneath it. “But I think we’re past that now.”

  Obviously.

  April kicked off her sneakers and nudged them to the side. She sat on the bed and stared up at me with stunning gray eyes. A flash of defiance crossed their steely depths. “I can tell you’re so good at what you do, but I don’t need you to treat me like some fragile flower anymore.” Her hair cascaded down her shoulders as she leaned back on one hand. “You don’t have to be gentle with me. I’ve already survived a lot.”

  She didn’t have to tell me twice. I shrugged the rest of the way out of the dress shirt and tossed it to the side. After placing two more shoes beside hers, I sat next to her, the mattress creaking with the additional weight. Her words rang in my ears, but I didn’t want to rush. Since dedicating so much of myself to Elysium, I hadn’t had the opportunity for much intimate contact.

  For the second time that day, all bets were off as soon our lips connected. We tumbled down to the pillows in a tangle of limbs, her slender frame flattened against mine. As I snuck beneath her T-shirt and caressed her back, her tongue delved into my mouth. I wanted to touch every part of her and cover every inch of her skin with kisses. Though I already knew so much about the thoughts and dreams floating through her mind, I aspired to learn about the body housing them.

  She raised her arms to let me pull her shirt over her head, extracting her hair from the neckline once it came off. The sight of a plain white bra greeted me, no frills, no fuss. She caught me ogling and blushed. “If I’d known….”

  I rested my forehead against hers. “You look amazing.” I recaptured her lips and resumed steady strokes along her spine. Finding the bra’s clasp, I hoped I wasn’t so out of practice that I embarrassed myself.

  Achieving success in unfastening the hooks, I flung the last impediment aside. My hands glided up to cup her breasts, and the pliant flesh filled both palms. I massaged and kneaded, memorizing every swell and curve, all while her tongue danced with mine. When I teased at one pert nipple with a thumb, a soft moan reverberated against my mouth.

  I needed to feel more. Although tearing myself away was torture, I had no use for an undershirt anymore and ripped it off with lightning speed. Sitting up allowed me the first view of April bared to me, and I grinned. A faint smattering of freckles scattered across the creamy white skin of her chest and shoulders, and I had the urge to kiss every last one.

  April rolled her eyes when I stared for a moment too long. “I hate them,” she muttered, turning away.

  I didn’t know if she referred to her breasts, her freckles, or both, yet I couldn’t have disagreed more. “I love them.” I brushed my lips against hers again before dragging them down her neck and over her collarbone. Folding both arms around her, I held her tight as I continued to explore.

  Her chest heaved beneath the teasing kisses, jutting toward my face. I traced a circle around one puffy pink nipple, and she inhaled sharply. Her hands found the back of my head and neck, mirroring the firm grip I used on her. When I sucked a stiff bud between my teeth, her spine bowed and she ground against me.

  We became trapped in a vicious, glorious cycle. With every nip and nibble of mine, she responded with a breathy moan or a roll of her hips. It was all the motivation I needed to further incite her pleasure. My erection swelled so heavy and hard it hurt, but her velvet skin tasted so good, I wasn’t ready to let her go yet.

  Sliding my hands into her jeans, underneath the elastic of her panties, I groped her ass. She hooked one leg over mine, slamming our bodies together and trapping my engorged shaft between us. Even through multiple layers of fabric, I felt her blossoming heat, and it drove me crazy with lust.

  I let her breast fell from my mouth and struggled for air. She pushed the scraggly hair from my eyes. “What’s wrong?” she asked.

  Every drop of blood had rushed between my legs, erasing the ability to formulate coherent thoughts. “I…I want you,” I ground out between pants. My cock bulged against her as the words escaped and I bit back a groan. “I need you.”

  April’s fingers skated down my chest toward the top of the khakis. She made quick work of the button and zipper and her hand slipped inside. “Say it again,” she murmured.

  A flimsy piece of cotton separated me from paradise. “I want you.”

  She pushed the pants and boxers down several inches, freeing my erection. The brief shock of cold air was replaced by her fingers wrapping around the shaft, and I shuddered.

  “One more time. I need to hear it.” As she spoke, she gave me a deliberate squeeze.

  I couldn’t take any more torment. The dam broke, and I launched another assault on her mouth. She eased her hips back just enough to grant me access to the front of her jeans. I wrenched away the last of her clothing and cupped her mound with a palm.

  “I want you, April,” I said in between frenzied kisses. One finger skimmed the length of
her dampened cleft. “I want to be inside you so bad.”

  Her grip on me slackened when I pushed a finger into her. The slick walls engulfed it, and thoughts of burying my cock in her warm pussy consumed me. She whimpered against my lips and rolled to the side, pulling me on top of her. She was so wet, and the scent of her arousal drifted up to me, turning me on even more, if that were possible. Part of me still didn’t believe she desired me in return.

  Just as I considered myself the luckiest man in the world, she grabbed my wrist. “Wait.” She slid out from under me. “Wait a minute.”

  Before I responded, April rushed out the door. I sat up on the bed, still hanging out of the half-discarded boxers, and looked around, bewildered. Half her clothing remained strewn around the room, so she couldn’t get too far.

  While I wondered what I’d done wrong, she reappeared, clutching her purse. She set it down next to the lamp and rummaged around in the pockets. Her cheeks flushed when she found her treasure and pulled it out. “Janie put this in here. She told me I should always be prepared.” April set a condom next to the alarm clock.

  Between encouraging her cousin to come here and making sure she was properly equipped, I started to like this Janie more and more. I made a mental note to send her a fruit basket or something. Heck, I’d even bake her a cake.

  April frowned at me, wringing her hands in front of her. “I didn’t, uh, ruin the mood, did I?”

  Seeing her standing there naked from the waist up, her pants undone and her hair rumpled, was the greatest thing to ever happen in this room. Her momentary absence had done nothing to diminish the hunger igniting me. “Not at all.”

  “Oh, good.” The rosy blush intensified as she pushed her jeans over the flare of her hips. She shimmied out of them and kicked them aside. Peeking at me through her long lashes, she hooked her thumbs into her striped panties and slid them down her legs.

  From her shy smile, to her exposed curves, to the neat patch of dark red curls between her legs, everything sent my senses into overdrive. Basking in the sight of the goddess before me, I reached for my rigid cock and gave it a stroke. She climbed onto the foot of the bed and crawled toward me, mesmerizing me with the sway of her lithe body.