Admit It

by Francesca Penn

  “Unemployed life is comfortable for you, I see.”

  Felix laughed. “Yeah. Especially when master negotiator Dex Sinclair arranges for six months’ worth of your salary to be paid in one lump sum.”

  Cayla had gotten her check, too, and did a happy dance at the balance. But the sound of Dex’s name made her flinch.

  “I saw that. What happened?” Felix queried before taking a long pull of his beer.

  “I will tell you because a man’s perspective would be nice.” Cayla unloaded the entire story while Felix’s eyes mimicked saucers.

  “Honestly? If I was Dex, I wouldn’t be talking to you either.” Cayla heart sunk, but this was all unfamiliar territory. For one of the first times in her life, she clamped her mouth shut and listened. “You did what you accused him of doing.” Felix took dipped his fry in ketchup and popped it in his mouth. “Dex is a great guy, and I’m not saying that because he got us out of hell with pay. I’m not even saying it on some bro code type of shit. I’m just keeping it one-hundred. Flip the script, Cay. Can you imagine Dex blowing up over bullshit almost every time you talk or doing stuff for him only for him to not appreciate it.”

  “I appreciate it,” Cayla retorts.

  “Well, you have a fucked-up way of showing it. Look, push all of that to the side. Can you imagine Dex practically telling you that you are not good for anything other than sex because you’re black? It would be on the fucking news. Of course, he cares about you on some level beyond sex! Would you stop your work at a multi-million dollar company to challenge the leadership of your stressed-out fuck buddy? When I ran into him at the office. He asked me to get him on our floor, so he could find and kill whatever was upsetting you. Didn’t he do that?”

  Cayla took a long pull of her drink, she needed a distraction from the tears that were trying escape to from in her eyes, and Felix continued his assessment. “Dex appeared and within an hour, he’d fixed everything. He scooped you out of what felt like an impossible situation. What have you done for him? Other than shit on his dream coming true.”

  “I did not!” Cayla protested, shocked.

  “Did you just tell me that Dex wanted to be a chef for most of his life?”

  “Yes.”

  “And didn’t you just tell me, he just got what I would think is an AMAZING opportunity to be recognized as a celebrity chef. Wouldn’t having his own show lead to sponsors, cookbooks, and personalized Dex Sinclair cookware that his fans could buy in hopes of being just like him? Wouldn’t that be the ultimate realization of your fucking dream?”

  Cayla went cold. She was so busy trying to tamp down the hurt of being left behind after being used for sex again, that he didn’t really hear what he was telling her about his life.

  “Also, he told you almost as soon as he found out. Meaning you had two months to figure out your future together. If it was just about sex, he wouldn’t have said shit and just packed up and left when it was time. If you want to be with him, you need to try harder. If you don’t, let him go, but you shouldn’t be upset. Hell, you have the freedom to move with him if that’s what you wanted.”

  Cayla takes another long drink. “I honestly don’t know what I want.”

  “Well, fucking figure it out. Your siblings are married. He’s a permanent part of your life. It’s up to you to figure out the terms. If it helps any, I think you care about him more than you’re willing to accept or his leaving wouldn’t upset you. And I think he cares about you more than you realize.”

  “Well, damn, Felix. You’re blunt as hell. You gave your opinion to me straight. No chasers.”

  Felix laughed. “That’s a constant you can expect. That’s how you roll with everyone but Dex, apparently.”

  Cayla frowned. “That was a low blow, Felix.”

  “Maybe, but dinner is still on you.”

  Cayla awakened hopeful. She still wasn’t sure if she was ready to throw her goals away for Dex. Nor was she ready to deep dive into herself to determine if her goals were bullshit. She could, however, be nicer to Dex regarding his dream being realized – after getting her shit together for Kalilah’s baby shower. She’d promised to make a bunch of cute little dessert finger foods. They should be easy peasy lemon squeezy. The main ingredient was whipped cream and she found a killer recipe online. While she didn’t spend much time in the kitchen, she was not kitchen illiterate. She grabbed the whipping cream and sugar, her mixer, and a bowl.

  With high hopes, she got to work. The first batch was flat; the second was grainy; and the third was too sweet and filled with her tears. Whipped cream was not supposed to be this hard. Thinking fast, she grabbed everything needed for the baby shower and hopped in her car. She had two hours to get this right, or she would look like the lamest sister ever. She took a deep breath and did the best thing she could in this situation.

  Her legs wobbled, and she considered turning around a thousand times, but it wasn’t about them right now. Cayla pulled on her big girl panties and knocked like her life depended on it. Dry mouth was not the proper description of how hers felt when a half-naked Dex swung open his door. His blond waves were awry, gray eyes blazed, and his solid, bare chest heaved.

  All his irritation focused on her. “It’s for Kalilah’s baby shower,” she blurted. “It starts in two hours.”

  Dex didn’t say a word, but he pushed the door open further to allow her entry. She ducked under his arm and dropped the ingredients and pictures onto the table. He swiped the pictures off the table, still not speaking to her and looked over the dessert designs.

  “It’s the whipped cream. I can’t get it right. It’s either too watery, sweet, or grainy. I have to make one-hundred of each dessert.” Dex moved around the kitchen like the expert he was, collecting mixing bowls and some of his own ingredients. He placed his bowls in the refrigerator.

  Cayla raised her brows at him putting empty bowls in the refrigerator; she was of no authority to question his judgement. Dex disappeared into the back and returned with his toothbrush in his mouth only long enough to add another bowl to the refrigerator.

  Cayla made herself busy by lining up one-hundred shot glasses for the mini parfaits. She would not focus on his raw sex appeal or the fact that she missed him. He resurfaced wearing a t-shirt while Cayla was washing all the berries. She pat-dried them and moved to the table to chop them.

  Dex turned on some music and started to work on the whipped cream as if she weren’t there. Cayla knew she couldn’t be upset. At least he was helping her where it mattered. Each song was kind of sexy, and it didn’t help that Dex was closer to her than he’d been for weeks.

  Eventually, Cayla’s hand stilled completely as she watched Dex move around the kitchen. He was born to do this. Then her naughty mind switched from awe of his skills to awe of his body. The same body she’d missed being trapped under. The same body that had given her more orgasms than she could count. The same body that still starred in all her wildest dreams. Cayla crossed her legs to ward off the throb deep inside her core.

  She’d heard women shamelessly brag about staring at dick prints. It was an asinine concept to her. Why would a woman spend time looking for the outline of a man’s naughty bits? Did they derive pleasure from that? She didn’t have a clue – until now. Now, Dex’s underwear-less member proudly swished with each movement. Grab a bowl out of the fridge, swish. Put cream in that bowl, swish. Whip the cream, swish, swish, swish. It’s like it was talking to her, daring her to touch it.

  Chloe x Halle’s “Drop” filtered into the kitchen, and Cayla felt like they were looking into her soul. Dex licked some whipped cream off his finger to taste it – her resolve shattered. Shaky feet moved her farther into the kitchen. Her need to touch him outweighed everything else. Cayla wrapped her arms around his waist and rested her head on his back. The familiarity of his body soothed her although she wasn’t sure how he’d react. She felt him stiffen underneath her touch. She was in too deep. She had to commit to her actions. She flattened her hand ag
ainst his abdomen.

  “Cayla,” he warned. But she was too far gone. Hearing him say her name after weeks of silence was an aphrodisiac. She was like an addict getting her fix. One hand went under his shirt, and the other down the waist of his pants. She moaned at the feel of his warm skin. “What are you doing?” he asked, his voice strained.

  “Touching you,” she confirmed as her hand dipped lower and wrapped around his stiffening cock.

  Dex dropped his hands onto the counter and bowed his head searching for strength. “You said no sex.” His words came out in huffs as she began to stroke him.

  Perfect was the only constant word in her head. He smelled perfect. His hard abs underneath her hand were perfect. His silky skin gliding over his incredibly hard shaft…perfect. Cayla could only share her truth in that moment.

  “I’m so wet for you right now, Dex.”

  Chapter 27

  Her words washed over Dex like antiseptic, soothing and painful, they stung his soul. They hadn’t spoken for weeks, and it’s been even longer since they last touched. It was soothing to know he wasn’t the only one experiencing withdrawal. He was not the only one lying awake at night with his thumb hovering over the call button before cursing himself to sleep. She missed him.

  Then, the sting rides in reminding him that the only part of him she missed was currently saluting in her palm. Three weeks to self-reflect and she hadn’t examined a damn thing. If she had, she would know that going for his dick was not the best way to repair what had been broken. That was never broken – their sexual chemistry had been off the charts from the moment they’d locked eyes.

  No, had she taken their time apart to learn anything, she would have known to start with an apology or show some genuine excitement for his incredible achievement. Best case, she would have thought their time apart was unbearable and told him she wanted to come with him. Fight for him. Instead, she had him humming with a lust that couldn’t be ignored because their three weeks apart made him sexually weak. If she would have pulled this stunt sooner, he would’ve had the presence of mind to ignore this advance, but now he was hungry for her. Aching to be inside of her.

  Damn her and her timing. More time would’ve allowed for a scab to form, but she caught him while he was still raw and broken. Resigned, he turned on her. Pushing her away from the whipped cream towards the empty island. She smelled like her failed attempts. Cream and sugar. Their eyes locked as he quickly pushed her sweats and panties off her body. Then, their lips collided. She moaned against his mouth and wrapped her legs around him as he lifted her onto the island. It was the perfect height for fucking; he’d made sure of that. His cock was out and nudging against the very center that called to him in his wet dreams.

  “Fuck,” he growled when he was seated deep inside of her. She was so snug, so hot, and so fucking wet. He felt like he’d returned home after a long exhausting trip. He had to say something to the woman withering against him. He must speak his piece.

  He plunged into her again, leaving them breathless. “I’m not a sex toy, Cayla.” She nodded and bit his shoulder to keep from screaming. “I’m not a fuck buddy,” he snarled into her ear while keeping a bruising pace. “I’m not a fling.” She moaned out an acknowledgment, her body clenching around him. He changed his angle, making her scream through her orgasm as he kneaded one of her breasts through the thin cotton of her t-shirt. “I’m more than my dick.” He grabbed her face forcing her to look at him. Desire and anger warred in his body to be the prominent emotion. “If you want access to my dick you better start acting like a fucking person is attached to it.”

  Dex pulled her off the island and bent her over it, reentering her from behind. He pounded into her only caring about his pleasure. He used her ponytail to pull her head back; she grunted somewhere between pleasure and pain.

  “Am I clear, Cayla?” She nodded as much as she could with him pulling her ponytail. “Do you fucking understand?”

  “Yes!” she screamed. Her second orgasm slammed into him like a truck and ripped his release out of his body.

  “Looks like you made up with Dex?” Kalilah’s signature giggle accompanied her observation.

  “What?” Cayla asked while trying to swallow a blush. She busied herself with lining up the yummy desserts made with high quality whipped cream for optimal viewing pleasure.

  “You heard me.”

  Cayla’s body tingled, Dex was rougher that morning, but it wasn’t anything she couldn’t handle. A three-week standoff ending in indescribable sex made her humbler. Hell, she’d charter a yacht and hire a string quartet if he wanted a date, just to get more of him. Damn, that man was a sexual beast! He had the ability to get her off in seconds with minimal effort, taking her from believing she would never ever experience the joy of sex induced orgasms to being multi-orgasmic.

  “What gave you that impression?”

  Kalilah rubbed her protruding belly, acting as if she were in deep thought.

  “Well, you floated in here all smiles – real ones, not the fake ones you’ve been sporting. Dex is a sex demon, and you look like you’ve had an other-worldly experience. And, the biggest give away of it all…you’re walking different.”

  “I am not!” Cayla denied.

  “You are. It reminds me of something he said to me last year. I guess he was not bullshitting, although I doubted then that he was.”

  “What did he say?” Cayla turned suddenly interested.

  “On Nick’s birthday, when Dex pulled me in his office to confirm that I delivered the good good. I’d joked with him about having an influence on Nick because he kept pouncing. Dex laughed and said I needed to be happy I was dealing with Nick because he would have me walking funny for weeks.” Kalilah laughed at Cayla’s bemused expression. “In that moment, I said a small prayer for the next girl’s coochie. You’re welcome.”

  Cayla shook her head at the craziness that was Dex and Kalilah’s friendship. Those two had no boundaries. “I get it,” Kalilah continued. “It’s not just about the size, Nick has the size, it’s the actions. Dex seems like the all rough and rugged flip-your-ass-during-sex kind of guy.”

  Cayla was pink in the face. “Kalilah! His mother is almost in earshot!”

  “Girl, please,” Kalilah dismissed, waving her off. “Amelia Sinclair knows all about it. She’s the originator. Why you think they have three kids?”

  “Why do we have three kids?” Amelia challenged.

  “Because you two are both wonderful people who are crazy in love.” Kalilah winked.

  Amelia laughed and swatted at her daughter-in-law. “I bet that’s what you meant.” However, the way she sauntered off told them Kalilah was right on the money.

  “I told you girl. Andrew be like come here gurl…”

  Their peals of laughter ended the chance for Kalilah to get any confirmation of the mind-bending sex she had when she was supposed to be making the desserts. Part of the reason Cayla was keeping it to herself was the glaringly obvious need to have a sit down with Dex. He had said a lot during sex but still returned to the noncommittal version of himself. He opted to finish the dessert alone while she showered and changed for the baby shower.

  The tension still lingered between them when she thanked him and left. The flow of guests entering the massive baby shower placed Cayla’s thoughts on the back burner. She’d made it through games, meals, prizes, presents, and treats perfectly happy until her dad showed up with the Sinclair men in tow.

  Kalilah had been holding the baby’s sex close to the vest, and while this was not a coed baby shower, she wanted to reveal the gender and with both families present. The OBGYN sealed it in an envelope and kept it at the office until the baby shower. Kalilah didn’t know the sex either, and her eyes were pooling with excited tears as she ripped open the envelope.

  She cried immediately making it impossible for anyone to hear the gender. Nick wrapped his arm around his emotional wife and read the card in her head.

  “It’s a boy!”
he yelled with his dimples set to one-thousand.

  The overwhelming joy on the men’s faces was endearing. The mothers maintained they were happy no matter the sex. Andrew whooped about continuing the Sinclair name while Nick hugged Dex and immediately started arguing which sports teams baby Sinclair would support. DD and Cayla looked at each other and shrugged. Cayla would love her nephew to pieces, but she was sad she couldn’t go pink crazy.

  There was a moment, one brief exchange, a possible millisecond when her eyes locked with Dex, and a tenderness she’d never seen shone in his eyes. It was gone with a blink, but it didn’t matter because that one second stuck with her for the rest of the day.

  Chapter 28

  Dex had no fucking idea why his phone was ringing. It had nothing to do with his popularity. He was plenty popular, being called is expected. It had nothing to do with business, he’d fielded thousands of business calls. No, Dex’s confusion was stuck on time. Why in the hell was his phone ringing at two o’clock in the morning after he’d fought to steal the little moments of rest that were now slipping through his fucking fingers?

  He’d been so caught up in the excitement of learning that they’d soon have another male Sinclair, his subconscious brain immediately started trying to imagine his children with Cayla. Once the rest of him caught up, he’d realized he was staring lovingly at Cayla in public. He’d quickly adverted his gaze and ignored the inquisitive look from his mother. Her extra perceptive ass caught everything. Another ring of his phone pulled him out of his memory.

  An angry glare at his display yielded Kalilah’s name. Instantly awake, Dex popped up, swinging his legs over the edge of his bed prepared to get dressed at warped speed.

  “Hey. Is it the baby?” he asked with his heart at the back of his throat.