by M R Field
As Maxi continues to sing, I look up and find Hazel standing at the edge of the carpeted walkway and I forget to breathe.
She begins to take delicate steps down the path whilst holding a bouquet of blue tulips. My eyes rake down her body, marvelling at her curves under the ivory beaded lace. Little cap sleeves blend into her curved neckline that covers her fitted corset in the same lace and beads. The flow of her skirt makes her appear like a modern-day princess. Her hair is pinned back, with one side held by a beaded comb while loose curls frame her beautiful face.
I stare into her eyes and draw in a much-needed breath when she nears me and smiles. I want to reach out and crush her into me, but know that my mamma is already keeping a close eye, and Italians aren’t shy with a quick flick of the wrist. Even if I am twenty seven. She steps to the side of me and we both reach out and grab each other’s hands, hers slightly trembling in my grasp.
“You’re beautiful, Farfalla,” I whisper.
“You’re very handsome, Tesoro,” she whispers, back. I wink and shimmy my shoulders in my dark grey suit. My thumb caresses her hand and for now, it’s just us. Nothing else outside of this instant matters. My gaze follows edge of her jawline to her rosy cheeks and ruby red lips. Her eyes hold unshed tears, and her radiant smile takes my breath away.
We stand there, holding onto each other as our celebrant begins the ceremony. Moments pass, readings are heard, but they all fade into the back of my mind as my focus is on her.
As we recite our vows and pledge our future together, Gian chooses that moment to squeal in delight, causing us to chuckle before returning to declare our love for each other. By the time that our celebrant announces that we are “Mr and Mrs Vera,” I don’t spare a second, and I dive towards her and seal our lips together. My arms wrap around her shoulders and her body moulds to mine.
Several moments will pass you by throughout your life, but standing right here, kissing the woman of my dreams will be one of those memories that will transcend all others.
“My feet are killing me,” Hazel moans.
“Want me to carry you, Mrs Vera?” Yeah, I’m going to be calling her that a fair bit from now on.
“Not yet. I want to check up on Gian first.”
After spending many hours in the company of our guests, eating and drinking while dancing until our feet hurt, we’ve decided to make our way to the hotel. A few hours ago, Gian had been taken to bed by my mamma so before we leave him, we head up stairs to Trice’s old room where the Portacot has been set up. Hazel carries her shoes in her left hand, while she wraps her right arm across my back. My hand lingers at the base of her spine where the tied ribbon is still threaded through. Her back is mostly bare, but when I saw the weaved ribbon, my thoughts simply said ‘scissors.’ No way was I going to waste my time undoing that. Snip, snip.
Our feet patter across the floor towards Trice’s room, and before we arrive the gentle voice of Nonna is heard singing. We pop our heads around the corner and find her in Trice’s favourite rocking chair, cooing Gian to sleep by singing an Italian lullaby, “Nina Nana.” I am riveted to my spot, watching as Nonna rocks back and forth in the chair, her frail hand in front of her as Gian’s little fingers clasps it. His eyes are closed in a deep sleep.
I reach into my pocket, retrieve my phone and unlock it, pointing it towards them, and take a few photos. Nonna stares down adoringly at Gian, and with a heavy heart I commit this moment to memory. I take a deep breath to stop the tears that threaten to fall, as her fragility shows ever so clearly now. From her frail hands, to her worn-out features, our Nonna has battled wars to be with us today. Her fighting spirit makes me proud, but I know that she can only hold on for so long. From the instant Hazel was wearing her aunt’s ring, we rushed to plan a wedding so that Nonna could enjoy it as well.
I pledge to remember this moment, so when Gian is older, I can tell him how much his Nonna loved him. I can show him the image that burns a hole in my heart as he is rocked in the same chair that Nonna and Nonno both rocked us to sleep in.
“Roberto,” Nonna whispers, startling me. I move into the room and walk closer to her.
“You alright?”
“I have Gian, of course.” She smiles and raises her eyes to me. I blink quickly, but not fast enough as her brows furrow. In Italian, she continues, “No time to be sad, Roberto.” Her soothing voice causes an actual tear to run down my cheek. “We all have to go sometime, but tonight, it’s not my turn. You go and be with your beautiful wife while I enjoy my great-grandson.”
“Hey, Nonna,” Hazel whispers as she moves closer to us, laying her hand on Nonna’s shoulder. “You looked lovely today. Did you enjoy it?”
“Yes.” She chuckles softly. “The waiters were very good looking.”
My shoulders shake as I try to hold back a laugh. Hazel’s smile is bittersweet as she kisses Nonna’s forehead and blows an air kiss to Gian. I lean forward to kiss Nonna, who holds her breath for a moment, and I struggle to keep my emotions in line.
“Not your time, Nonna,” I remind her, my voice wavering. She nods.
“Not my time,” she whispers. I reach for Hazel’s hand and we leave that room, but not before I look over my shoulder to watch for another moment of Nonna singing to Gian while he sleeps peacefully.
“I’m where I want to be.”
Former actress, Hazel Vera.
HAZEL
Two years later
“Baby,” he moans. “I’m close. Tell me you’re close.”
My hands grip the back of his shoulders, as I clutch him to my chest.
“Yes,” I pant into his ear. “Don’t stop.”
His thrusts continue to pump inside me, as my butt rubs across the cold basin. It’s uncomfortable, but I don’t care. We are on limited time. He pulls my legs higher, and I feel his throbbing cock against my walls, hitting me right where I want him to. “Right there.” A groan pulls from the back of my throat. “Almost there.”
He thrusts harder and I don’t wait—I begin to free-fall into the pulsating ecstasy. My walls grip him tighter and I feel the tell-tale signs of his orgasm surging. He responds by moaning, his deep voice shooting an echo that ricochets off the bathroom walls, and it only spurs me on. I grip him again and tilt my head back to watch his face tighten as he continues to climax. Still the hottest thing I have ever seen.
Our rapid breathing is all the communication we have in this moment. I shift back slightly on the bench, away from the basin lip, and feel instant relief against my surely bruised behind. Robbie’s hands move forward and he lifts me off the bench to stand, and I feel the loss of him as he slips out of me.
“You okay?” He rubs my behind. “I hope I wasn’t too rough.”
“I liked it.” I grin as I wrap my arms around his neck. “It was just when we stopped that I noticed a numb bum.”
He smiles and leans forward to kiss my lips. He tastes of coffee and lust, and I lick his bottom lip to savour it. He pulls back and kisses my nose.
“Well …” He rubs his lips together, his eyes full of mischief. “Thought you were going to have a shower.”
I was.” I roll my eyes dramatically. “You see, I couldn’t go with your parents to the park with Gian, as I was still in my pyjamas. I didn’t realise you were going to follow me in here and kiss me dizzy.”
“You forgot, ‘fucked you blind’.”
“Robbie!” I hiss. “They could be already back and hear you!”
“I suppose they could have, but seeing as we just made the walls shake, they probably turned around and walked back through the door. Or they might be hiding under the dining table thinking that there’s been an earthquake.” He throws his head back to laugh at his own joke, while I press my lips together, trying to think of something witty to say.
“I hope they aren’t back yet to hear us.”
“Well, ever the more reason to admit that I fuc—”
I cover his mouth to glare at him. “Shush!”
I remov
e my hand only for him to continue, “… ed you blind!”
What’s the point? I shake my head at him and admit, “Yeah, you did. Anyway, your folks are due back any time, so let’s get respectable.”
“On it.” He taps my nose and leans forward through the open shower door to turn on the taps. “Let’s get you nice and sparkly.”
We spend the rest of our time in the shower with me attempting to get clean, while Robbie tries his hardest to get me dirty again. Who am I kidding? That damn smile … Yeah, he gets his way. Not like I minded.
We dress quickly in our bedroom and while I brush my hair, Robbie stands behind me, adjusting the collar of his polo shirt. I smile knowingly at him. My cheeks are still flushed and I have stubble rash on the base of my neck. I glance over his shoulder to our wedding portrait that hangs above our bed. Robbie is standing behind me, his arms wrapped around me, whispering in my ear. The photographer had told Robbie to whisper something funny in my ear to make me smile, but the shy smile I have isn’t because he told a joke. It was more about what he planned to do to me once we were alone in the hotel room. Real life was even better than the promises he made against my earlobe.
I twist my hair up into a messy bun and turn before stepping to the side. Walking out of our room, I stroll towards the fridge in the kitchen to get a glass of orange juice. The slide of the key into the front door lock clicks and once the door opens, the loud footsteps of a very little boy come barrelling across the polished floorboards.
“Mamma!” Gian yells excitedly. “Nonna and Nonno took me to the park!” He spots me over the kitchen bench and races down, smashing his body against my legs.
“Did you have fun, bello?” I stroke his hair as I hide the empty glass in the sink. Our little man has yet to understand the concept that Mamma’s drink is hers only.
He leans back slightly, while holding onto my legs and grins. “I had CHOCOLATE!” His eyes light up, as a grin spreads across his chocolate-smudged cheeks.
“Really? I can’t even tell.”
“Then they got me an ice cream and then we went to the lolly shop.”
“Gian …” Feli interrupts, by the kitchen bench. “We had fun at the park, didn’t we? We went down the slide and then we—”
“The lady at the lolly shop knew my name!”
I furrow my brows at him. “How? I haven’t taken you there yet.”
“Daddy took me the other day.” He beams, letting go of my legs to race back out of the room.
I shake my head as Robbie appears, holding up his hands. “We only went the other day, I swear.”
I raise my eyebrows at him and he looks to the side. “Or maybe not.”
“Robbie!” I laugh. “You’ll rot his teeth.”
“Oh,” Feli says, “he’s young, he’ll be fine.”
She steps back and heads over to the lounge room and I glare at Robbie. He mouths, Sorry, I know, before following her. I roll my eyes and turn back to open the cupboard for the percolator. There is no point engaging in a debate about not feeding our son sweets. Robbie’s parents are so incredibly in love with Gian that they want to give him everything. It’s never done in a malicious way, more like a ‘smother to death with love’ kind of way.
While they love him unconditionally, they are also fiercely protective. Anytime Gian falls over or bumps himself, they jump to ‘save him’ from his dreaded boo boo. No wonder Robbie is such a mamma’s boy—he learnt from the best.
Boisterous laughing from the lounge room sounds, as Feli coos exaggeratedly at Gian. No doubt it will be towards an antic of his. Hopefully it doesn’t involve showing Nonna how good he is at drawing on the walls with my lipstick.
I gather the percolator from the stove and pour several espresso cups that line the serving tray we have. I take the extra espresso cup and pour milk into it and add a sprinkling of milo on top for Gian’s bubba-chino.
Lifting the tray, I walk through the kitchen, past the bench, and move towards the dining table where the sliced banana cake I baked this morning sits untouched. Now that we have Gian, we have made sure to immerse him into both Australian and Italian culture, while also giving him the choice to choose his own path but within reason, as M&M’s are not a breakfast choice and neither was an espresso-ever. I settle the tray in the middle of the table as a piercing squeal draws my attention away. I glance quickly into the lounge room to find Paolo, Robbie’s father, holding Gian high into the air like an aeroplane.
“Che bravo che sei!” Feli claps loudly, as she watches Gian hold his arms out. His squeals turn to giggles and Robbie stands to reach over and grab Gian from his father, drawing him to his chest and tickling his sides.
“You are a good boy, but right now, it’s time for a snack.” He puts the fidgety toddler down and asks innocently, “Does anyone want a bubba-chino?”
“I do! I do!” Gian jumps up and down, pulling on Robbie’s jean pocket. Robbie flinches slightly, covering his groin. There have been more than one occasion where Gian’s little hands had ‘accidentally’ hit him in no man’s land.
“Well, it seems I just happen to have one.” I point to his cup.
I have barely finished my sentence before Gian’s loud footsteps come thundering towards me. For a little sprite, he sure can make a lot of noise. He climbs onto the end chair and sits properly, knowing that he won’t be served otherwise.
“Coffee is ready.” I wave the rest of them over. “I also have banana bread.”
“I want banana bread!” Gian pouts.
“You can have some if you remember where your manners have gone,” Robbie quips.
“Please, Mamma.” Gian’s big eyes stare up at me. “Can I have some?”
I smile and touch his cheek before grabbing him a smaller slice. His little hand reaches for it, before bringing it to his mouth to munch on quickly.
“He reminds me of Robbie when he was that age.” Feli smiles at him. “He has your eyes, Hazel, but that boy can charm anyone.”
“I know what you mean. Plus he has those curls …”
“Curls get the girls,” Robbie teases.
“Not until he’s thirty.” I pat Gian’s head before sitting down.
We chat for a while and catch up on what his parents have been doing. Once every two months, they come and visit us for a long weekend and give Robbie the chance to come and see Trice and I perform. Since having Gian, he’s devoted his Saturday nights to being home so I can go back to work, which is both a good and a bad thing. Tonight though, I plan to make it a great performance for Robbie.
“So, what time are you leaving again?” Feli asks, taking a sip of her espresso. “We can take Gian to the markets.”
“I have to leave by five. If you go out, it’s been a bit chilly, so if you put on his coat and beanie, that would be good. I’ll leave it on his bed.” Feli nods and breaks a bit of her slice in half. Every time his family visits, I can’t help but feel a slight sting that it isn’t mine who are here. But then, all I need to remember is how close I came to losing everything to push that regret out of my mind and be thankful. Feli treats me more like a daughter than my own parents ever did.
I stand up and leave Robbie and his parents to catch up while I sort out a few things for Gian. I walk into his bedroom, which used to be Alex and Trice’s, and open the wardrobe to retrieve Gian’s jacket. His beanie hangs from the pocket, so I lay them both on his bed. Like every other time that I’ve been in this room, I glance over at his bedside table at the two photos. One is of my Thea and I when I was a young girl; her arm is draped over my shoulder. The other is of Nonna rocking Gian to sleep. My heart tightens for a moment, but like I tell Gian after every bedtime story, he has two angels that look after him.
We spend the rest of the afternoon in the lounge room, where Gian educates us about every single thing he loves about his latest Lego set, and I make sure that his daddy keeps the silly questions to a minimum as our little man tends to get annoyed easily. Toddler tantrums aren’t exactly going our way
at the moment.
Watching Gian tell his animated story while everyone sits enraptured sends warmth to my heart and a smile to my face. Every. Single. Time.
I smile, knowing my plan later on will continue to bring that warmth to my chest, as well as Robbie’s. As he reaches forward to tickle Gian, Feli makes eye contact with me and gives me an exaggerated wink. I wink back, knowing that having her in on the plan is definitely going to make it more special.
I adjust my black, one-sleeved leotard and smooth a hand over my fishnet stockings. The down-lights in the changing room reflect against the emerald streams that are stitched into the skimpy leotard. I raise my foot onto my chair and buckle my dance heels before double-checking my hair and makeup. Instead of letting my curls loose, I straightened my long thick hair and side parted it, slicking it back into a low ponytail and positioning it across my sleeved shoulder. I rub some glitter body lotion onto my bare shoulder and arm and reapply my ruby red lipstick. Ever since the wedding, Robbie has made many comments about my ruby lips and in particular what I did to him in the hotel room after our reception.
Don’t worry, Tesoro. If it’s a performance you want, it’s a performance you’ll get. What a performance we have planned, too!
“Right, Miss Soon-To-Be Reynolds, let’s go!” I wink at Trice. A brilliant smile breaks out across her face as she holds up her left hand. Nonna’s engagement ring catches the light overhead, causing her to sigh.
“Cannot wait. We have our house now; we just need to get a wedding organised.”
“And babies,” I add, tucking my chair into the vanity.
“Definitely babies. We need to catch up with everyone else.”
I grin, knowing that she does have a lot of catching up to do.
We walk out of the room as Trice switches off the light to tap on the band’s door. Maxi opens the door and gasps at our costumes, but not before I have a chance to look at hers.
“Maxi, you look amazing.” She has the same style of top we have, but instead of it being a high-cut leotard, hers is a fitted dress. “I’ve never had hips lean enough to get away with a dress like that.”