Holding a Tender Heart

by Jerry S. Eicher

  Verna glanced over at Mamm. “Perhaps I’d better go upstairs?”

  The peace that had entered her heart the night she’d prayed had stayed with her, but there were moments when its hold wavered. If Deacon Mast had come for a talk with Daett on some church trouble or, worse, if this was a new trouble that concerned Joe, she didn’t wish to see him.

  “You’d better stay,” Mamm replied and gave Verna a quick glance. “We don’t know who is here. And you can’t go running away from problems. You don’t even know what this is about.”

  Mamm was right. Trouble was better faced head-on. Daett was already on his feet and headed out the door. Any conversation between him and Deacon Mast would occur outside by the buggy. Verna could surely handle that much stress. And if this concerned her, Daett would break the news afterward whether she fled upstairs or not.

  Verna nestled down on the couch and gave Debbie a pained look. “My nerves are a little raw, I guess.”

  “Mine would be worse than raw,” Debbie said. “You’re a perfect saint in my opinion.”

  “Hey! What about me?” Lois asked from the other end of the couch. “Am I a perfect saint too?”

  “No comment!” Debbie teased.

  They all laughed, the soft sound filling the living room.

  Life was slowly returning to normal, Verna thought. Despite the added pain of Joe’s almost certain future imprisonment. This was how Da Hah worked when one trusted Him. She would make it through the years ahead with Da Hah’s help. She would travel with the same grace He was giving to her now. Yah, it would be shaky at times, but there would be help available when she needed it.

  Joe’s trial would occur soon, and sorrow might overwhelm her soul then. But Da Hah would not fail her. She would always believe that truth. She glanced up and saw Debbie regarding her with a worried expression.

  “Are you okay?” Debbie asked.

  Verna forced a smile. “Just thinking of the trial. Yes, I’ll be okay.” Debbie glanced at the floor. “There’s something I should tell you…I mean…I hope things turn out okay, and they might yet, you know.”

  “Thanks for the encouragement.” Verna gave a strained laugh. “You’re such an optimist, Debbie. You always see the bright side. I wish I were more like that.”

  Debbie almost spoke again, but Bishop Beiler reappeared in the doorway, looking shaken.

  “Daett!” Mamm leaped to her feet. “What’s happened?” She took him into her arms.

  He briefly hugged her and then said, “Please, everyone, sit down.”

  They all sat down except Mamm, who stayed beside Daett. Everyone in the room stared at him, waiting. What horrible news had Deacon Mast brought? Would Verna be able to take it?

  Finally Daett sat down and asked Mamm to do the same.

  Mamm complied, her gaze still on his face.

  “I’m trying to recover myself.” Bishop Beiler glanced over at Verna. “Will someone please sit beside her before I share what I have to say?”

  Verna felt the blood leave her face and the room began to spin. “What’s happened to Joe? Is he dead? He’s dead, isn’t he? There’s been an accident? Something worse has happened than Joe going to jail? What did Deacon Mast say?”

  Mamm was already beside Verna, holding one hand, while Debbie wrapped her in a tight hug from the other side.

  Above the flood of emotions roiling inside her, Verna heard Daett’s proclaim, “Nee, daughter! It’s nothing like that. Verna, that wasn’t Deacon Mast come calling. It was Joe! He’s outside now, and he claims it’s all over. All the charges against him have been dropped!”

  “What?” Verna tried to focus.

  “It’s over!”

  Her daett appeared within her vision. “And I think the boy is telling the truth.”

  “It is true!” Debbie declared. “I was hoping it would turn out this way! I just didn’t want to say until I was sure.”

  Bishop Beiler regarded Debbie for a moment. “You had contact with the Englisha lawyer, did you not?”

  Debbie nodded. “I was aware of a new development, but I was waiting to see…”

  “Then perhaps we can believe this.” He sat back in his rocker and let out a long breath.

  “What is this you’re saying?” Verna clutched Debbie’s arm. “I don’t understand.”

  “New evidence came up that I hoped would help Joe’s case…and it sounds like it did,” Debbie said.

  Great hope rose in Verna—one she couldn’t control. She wanted to believe a miracle had happened! And she wanted to see Joe! She wanted to believe Da Hah had seen it best to restore Joe’s life and their happiness. But was this possible? Did Da Hah really come through? Daett didn’t sound that convinced even with Debbie’s assurances. And neither was she. Someone didn’t just show up and say a problem of this magnitude was solved.

  Debbie’s hand moved on hers. “You should go speak with Joe.”

  “Joe?” Verna stared at her.

  “Your Joe is outside waiting for you, Verna,” her daett said.

  Debbie pointed toward the front door. “I’m sure Joe will tell you!”

  Verna looked around the room. Suddenly she jumped to her feet. She looked at her daett, and he didn’t shake his head so it must be okay to go see Joe!

  Debbie rose and stood beside Verna. She took her friend’s arm and together they went out onto the front porch and down the steps.

  “Can you walk from here on your own?” Debbie whispered in her ear.

  Verna didn’t say anything. Her gaze was focused on Joe, who was standing beside his buggy like a statue. She felt Debbie’s arm leave hers, and her body seemed to float down the walk. Joe was running toward her now, and when he arrived his arms wrapped around her.

  She buried her face in his chest for what seemed like an eternity before pulling back and looking at him. “Is it really true?” Her fingers reached up to trace his face.

  “It’s a miracle!” he said. “Yes, it’s very true!”

  “How did it happen?”

  He didn’t answer. Instead he drew her close again. “Oh, Verna!” His lips found hers, and she was ready to drift right up to the skies and never come back.

  “I have to breathe,” she said as she pulled away and laughed at the same time. “And they are seeing us.”

  “Do you care?”

  She blushed and pushed him away. “You have to come in and tell us all what happened. We will have time for this…later.”

  Joe followed her up the steps, all the while holding on to her…only letting go when they walked inside.

  “Joe’s come to explain! I wanted all of us to hear it together,” Verna said.

  Mamm ushered them to the couch, and when they were seated Daett cleared his throat. “Start talking, Joe,” he commanded with a smile.

  Verna snuggled tightly against Joe and looked up at his face.

  Joe seemed flustered now. He took a deep breath. “All I know is what the lawyer told me. She called our phone shack with a message for me to call. When I called back, she asked me to make sure I was available. Some new information had come up. It was important information that might pan out. I didn’t want to know any details, and she didn’t offer any. She said I was supposed to stay on standby in case there were questions that needed answering. She asked me to come to her office late today.”

  Joe took a moment to take another deep breath. “Today when I walked into her office she told me it was all over. She said all the charges had been dropped! A witness came forward who had purchased merchandise from the nightclub owner, Mr. Hendricks, and it turned out the stuff was some of the stolen loot. This evidence has tested out. It appears that…”

  Joe glanced around and then hung his head. “Well, it appears that Kim, my former Englisha girlfriend, and her buddies stole stuff and used Mr. Hendricks as the clearing house to sell the items. The prosecution dropped charges against me! Here I am! I’m free and no longer in danger of going to jail!”

  The bishop stared at him.
“You didn’t tell us who this new witness was.”

  Joe shrugged. “The lawyer said there was a request to keep it quiet unless necessary. I decided that was okay. I mean, I don’t care as long as…as long as the truth was revealed.”

  Bishop Beiler thought for a moment. “Englisha people are always into secrets. I suppose it doesn’t matter if you’re out from under suspicion. Debbie, can you confirm that this is all aboveboard?”

  “It is,” Debbie said at once.

  “I don’t care how it happened!” Verna declared, struggling to keep a quaver out of her voice. “I have Joe back! We should all be thankful!”

  Beside her, Joe stroked Verna’s arm in-between quick glances at her daett.

  “I suppose so,” Bishop Beiler allowed as he stood. “I’ll need to pass this information on to the other ministers. I’m sure they will rejoice with us.”

  “Just be thankful!” Mamm tugged on her husband’s shirt sleeve. “Sit down, Daett, and let’s take this all in. And Verna and Joe can go somewhere they can talk. They have plans to make.”

  The words weren’t even all the way out of Mamm’s mouth before Verna was on her feet pulling on Joe’s arm.

  He got up and smiled in the bishop’s direction. “I guess we do have some things that should be taken care of. Do we need to wait for the ministers to lift the probation and the counsel to not see each other?”

  The bishop smiled. “Nee, I believe I can authorize your time together.”

  “Go!” Mamm waved her arm toward the front door. “Don’t let us hold you up at a moment like this.”

  Verna took Joe’s hand and led him outside and across the lawn. “We can sit inside the buggy since you didn’t bring your courting rig.”

  Joe helped Verna up, then climbed in beside her.

  Verna allowed her eyes to trace the weather-beaten lines on his face. He was so handsome, so gut to look at. “Oh, Joe! Am I having a dream?”

  He looked dazed. “If it’s a dream, I hope we never awaken.”

  Verna allowed herself to melt into his arms again.

  Joe took off his hat and tossed it onto the shelf behind the seat. Then he leaned back in the seat, his fingers entwined in hers. “I’ve suffered, Verna, through these longs weeks. But I think you’ve suffered the worst. And yet you never forsook me. How can I ever thank you enough?”

  “By making me your frau this fall yet,” she whispered.

  He sat up straight. “Then we’d better start making plans fast!”

  Verna laughed softly. “But tonight we talk only sweet nothings. I want to soak up the joy of your presence. I think I’ll pinch myself every few minutes to make sure I’m still alive.”

  He pulled her close. “Those were dark days, Verna. I hope we never have to travel such roads again.”

  “Yet Da Hah was with us, was He not?” She looked up at his face. “And He gave me peace in the darkest hours. I obtained a trust that He would do only what was for the best. And now He has. None of that will change whatever the troubles lying ahead. And we will have each other as long as He allows it. Is that not enough, Joe?”

  He gazed down at her for a moment. “You shame me, Verna. Not only am I getting a beautiful woman—but one filled with such faith. My heart is stirred deeply.”

  Verna hid her face under his chin. “You must not say such things.”

  “I will if I wish to because they are true.”

  “Then I will plug my ears when they become too much.”

  He laughed. “You may have to wear earplugs all day long then.”

  Verna peered up at him. “You haven’t seen my faults yet.”

  “Faults? You don’t have any!”

  Verna chuckled. “You poor, deceived fellow.”

  He was serious now. “Doesn’t it bother you? What I did on my rumspringa? The whole community knows now, and I am ashamed.”

  “And the whole community will forget soon enough.” Verna wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed his protest into silence.

  Forty-Two

  The weeks rolled around, and the last Thursday of November had arrived. Joe’s case had died away slowly within the community. No whispers circulated regarding who the mysterious witness had been though. It was as if Bishop Beiler wished to banish the whole situation from his mind, and his wish had been granted.

  Clearly Henry Yoder hadn’t babbled things around which, Debbie thought, was much to his credit. Perhaps the man wasn’t so bad after all, even with his self-aggrandizing statement about heaping coals of fire on Bishop Beiler’s head. Apparently Henry was content to allow the good work to simmer without a claim of credit for himself.

  Debbie was thankful that the day of Joe and Verna’s wedding had finally arrived with no outside distractions to ruin the event.

  The Beiler house had been scrubbed and cleaned to within an inch of its life. Verna had threatened to use the Beiler’s barn for the services since she was the first daughter to wed from the family, but her mamm would have none of it. There was room to spare in the house, she claimed. That was if they moved all the furniture out plus used the first-floor bedroom. The guests seated there wouldn’t be able to see all of the ceremony, but they could hear it. The meal afterward would be served in the upper hayloft of the barn, accessed from the “bank side.”

  Verna had eventually given in, and now everyone was crammed into the house so tightly they could hardly breathe. All faces were turned toward the kitchen doorway where Bishop Beiler was concluding the main sermon. Alvin Knepp was sitting only inches from Debbie, his black pants and white shirt pressed so well the creases stood up on their own. This wasn’t exactly how Debbie had envisioned the first hours they would spend together, but it would have to suffice.

  She didn’t need romantic regrets in her head now that she had access to Alvin for the day. He was her partner in serving the food after the service. Thoughts on how to charm him would be a more worthy goal, she decided, although how that would be accomplished she wasn’t certain. The rules for relationships with Amish boys seemed quite different from what she was used to. Here a person was cautious before giving any attention that wasn’t asked for, which should have placed her at Paul Wagler’s side today. But she had turned that option down flatly when it had been proposed.

  Paul was currently seated across from Ida, who was the witness for Verna’s side of the family. Ida had been blushing all shades of red ever since the service began. The poor girl! Ida had wanted this badly. This was her chance to do something with Paul since he clearly had no plans to ask her home from the hymn singings.

  Today any couple could be paired up and no one would draw inferences. Verna had assured Debbie of this, but during the planning stage she had still refused to be seated with Paul. This probably also explained why Alvin was comfortable with the arrangement today…and why he sat beside her right now. Debbie wished Alvin would draw some conclusions, but his actions so far indicated he had no special interest in her. They’d met earlier in the hayloft with the other waiter couples, and beyond a smile and a gut morning, he hadn’t made any attempt at conversation.

  She would have to dig deep and find her charming skills, Debbie decided. There was no question about that if she was ever to get past the walls Alvin had built between them. There had been a time when things had been much more open, but then Paul had come along and messed everything up.

  Why couldn’t Alvin put two and two together? Why couldn’t he see that she could have chosen Paul for this day if she’d wanted to? But that likely wasn’t how Alvin’s thought processes worked. Ida was Verna’s closest sister in age, and Paul was Joe’s best friend. The two went together as naturals for Verna’s wedding day.

  At the moment, Alvin had his gaze on Bishop Beiler’s face as he wrapped up his sermon. Debbie wished the boy would steal a glance at her once in a while, but he hadn’t so far. She would find a way to thaw him out before the day was over! Surely somewhere inside of him Alvin held an inkling of interest in her. Why else didn�
��t he date some Amish girl? Sure, his options were slim in the community, but he could visit other communities if he felt desperate enough.

  Debbie drew her thoughts away from Alvin, and focused on the bishop as he finished his sermon and turned to speak to Joe and Verna. “Now if both of you still wish to enter into the holy state of matrimony, will you please stand to your feet.”

  Joe stood first, with Verna right behind him. Verna dazzled today in her dark-blue wedding dress. The color deepened her skin color until it seemed to glow in the soft sunlight that came through the living room window. Joe’s face was full of joy as he looked first at Verna and then at the bishop.

  Bishop Beiler asked Joe, “Do you, our brother Joe Weaver, believe in your heart that this, our sister Verna Beiler, has been given to you as a frau by Da Hah?”

  “Yah!” Joe’s voice was firm.

  Bishop Beiler repeated the basic question to Verna.

  Verna reply was a softer “Yah.”

  Several other questions and answers followed, and then Bishop Beiler joined Joe and Verna’s hands. He proceeded to proclaim them man and wife.

  Debbie waited for the kiss and almost laughed out loud when it didn’t come. This was her first Amish wedding season, and the ceremony still wasn’t totally familiar. At an Englisha wedding there would be a long and passionate kiss right now. Alvin stole a quick glance at her. She must have let some of the laugh slip out. This was just great. Now Alvin probably figured she couldn’t be respectful in services. And what Amish man would want such a frau? Well, she would have to work all the harder to overcome this bad impression.

  Joe and Verna sat down again, and a song began. At its conclusion, the couple stood and filed out first. The bench full of table waiters was dismissed next, and they spilled out into the yard. Several of the boys yawned and stretched their arms skyward, obviously bored with the whole thing. Alvin marched straight ahead, on his way to the barn where the meal would be served. Debbie kept up his fast pace. They were one of the first couples to arrive in the serving area, which was curtained off at the back of the hayloft. One of the cooks glanced up and smiled. “Did they get married off okay?”