Identity Crisis

by Lila Munro

“It’s not up to you how much she can take, Chad,” Ren tried to reason. “If you want this, you have to let Tori fulfill her role. It’s how she gets satisfaction. It’s not all about eating out of your hand and getting a spanking three times a year. Either you man up and commit to this now or someday, you may lose her.”

  “Are you saying you’ll take her from me?” Chad snapped back.

  “No, I’m saying she’ll leave to find someone that will give her what she needs. No sub on Tori’s level can live like you’ve been trying to for so long,” Ren said quietly.

  The covering was lowered from her eyes and Tori blinked a few times as fat tears ran down her cheeks, not born of anything less than pain. A pain that needed eased. Not just between her legs but in her heart. It was killing her to see the two men fight, but she knew Ren already understood more about her needs than Chad ever had. Ren took Tori’s chin between his fingers and raised her head while Tori tried her best to avoid both of their eyes.

  “Look at her, Chad,” Ren told him. “Take a good look. See how strong she is? How beautiful? Do you even realize what you’ve got? I love her, too and I can’t let you kill her inside because of your own insecurities. Let her live, Chad.”

  Chad sucked in a ragged breath and backed away.

  “Tori, are you okay baby?” he gasped.

  “Answer him, angel,” Ren assured her it was okay to speak.

  “I’m fine. I hurt, but I’m fine,” Tori said in a weak voice.

  “Oh, angel,” Ren leaned over and brushed his lips against hers. “You’re so strong, so good. I know you hurt, pet, but I’ll take care of you. I promise. Do you believe me?” Tori nodded.

  “It’s okay to speak to me,” Ren told her, untying the blindfold. “Do you believe me?”

  “Yes, I do,” Tori said, still avoiding eye contact.

  “Good. I need you to trust me, angel.”

  “I trust you.” Tori’s watched as Ren approached and clamped her left nipple with the other alligator clamp, biting her lip as pain tore through her chest. He released her arms, helped her on the bed, and waited, massaging feeling back into her trembling limbs

  “On your knees,” Ren told her after only a moment resuming his role as Dom.

  Obediently Tori rolled to her stomach and went to her knees, the clamps that bit her nipples a painful reminder of her movements. Holding herself aloft on her forearms, she stayed still as Ren wrapped leather cuffs around her ankles and secured her legs to the bed posts, stretching her pussy wide, rendering her immobile. Ren’s fingers slid between her ass cheeks, brushing her puckered opening before sliding inside her slickened pussy. His other hand came down across her left cheek with a loud pop sending Tori surging forward just as he slid his fingers out of one opening, across her perineum, and sank them into the resistant tissue of the other.

  “Still, angel, or I’ll have to tie your arms again,” Ren said, swatting her again harder this time. “Show me how strong you are.”

  With the next pop, Tori fought the urge to worm away and stayed still, whimpering at the rush of heat that ran down her spine and landed in her clit. It throbbed and begged to be touched, yet Ren denied it, keeping his fingers inside her ass, stretching her tender tissue.

  “So tight, angel. Gonna feel so good,” Ren whispered across her stinging flesh, running his tongue across the small of her back.

  In one swift motion, Ren’s fingers left her, rendering a void and his cock filled it, driving into her, nearly splitting her apart with a shattering wave of pain. She cried out as he withdrew and drove into her again.

  “Let go, angel,” Ren demanded. “Milk me. I know you’re there.”

  Ren reached up over her back and twisted her hair around his fingers and pulled her backward just as she came apart. His name flew off her lips and she drove back against him, not considering that it might bring another strike to her, just needing him to fill her as far as he could go.

  “That’s right. Again,” Ren grunted and sent his release deep within her as the second wave of Tori’s orgasm hit her, sending a wracking jolt of tension across her being. She collapsed forward and Ren rested across her back, both of them struggling to take in enough air.

  Tori turned her head and looked at Chad. Lost was the only word she could conjure. As if sensing her concern for their partner, Ren turned his head and looked at the man as well.

  “Come here, Chad,” Ren told him. “She can give so much more than you ever thought possible. Come here. Take her.”

  Chad stood and walked over, a smoky heat emanating from his eyes as they grazed Tori’s body that lay limp beneath Ren.

  “Baby…” he started.

  “No, Chad,” Ren explained. “You don’t ask, you take. She’ll let you know if it’s too much.

  Tori’s a good girl. She’s not the one that needs to learn here.” Ren pulled out of Tori and moved to her side on his knees.

  “Raise up, angel, all the way up,” Ren told her.

  Tori did as he told her and stood up on her wobbly knees. Ren slid in front of her and lay down on his back.

  “Come here.” He motioned for her to lie across him. “Now look at me.” Tori hesitated.

  “Look at me, Tori. In the eyes.”

  With her eyes locked on Ren’s, Tori felt Chad ease into the same channel Ren had just vacated moments before.

  “You’re asking,” Ren told him. “Take. I’m here. I’m your valve, Chad. Take.” Chad dug his nails into Tori’s tender hips, pulled out and drove back into her with force, his thighs slapping the back of her legs and ass. Tori fell forward and landed across Ren.

  “Up, angel. I’ve got you.”

  Ren pushed her shoulders until she was once again on her palms. He took her face in his hands and locked eyes with her. That heat, a veritable blaze, the sheer intensity swirling, held Tori captive. Ren’s eyes were the ones she’d stared into as she was strapped to the bed, Chad taking her from behind with his fingers. They were her strength as she hung on St. Andrew ’s cross and as she straddled Ren’s lap. Tori hoped like hell Chad didn’t back out of this little arrangement of theirs because Ren was right. She needed not just this, she needed him. Chad’s identity was so muddled Tori had never really been able to peg him. Now she knew. Chad was a beta Dom and he’d have a hard time learning what that meant and taking his place as second in the bedroom from now on without the leading of a strong teacher. Tori had the distinct impression, however, that if anyone was equal to the task, it was Ren.

  After several violent thrusts, a hint of leather fringe traced Tori’s spine and swirled across her ass cheeks. Without hesitation or further warning, the flogger came down across her left shoulder. She gritted her teeth and closed her eyes using every ounce of strength she had in her to stay on her hands and knees without pulling away from Chad.

  “Open your eyes, angel,” Ren demanded. “Right here.”

  Again the flogger came down, biting and chewing her other shoulder as she bit back a cry, the first tear escaping and running down her chin.

  “I’m here. Look at me.” Ren pulled her face down, never losing eye contact and licked the tear from her chin, sucking it from her and moaning. “You taste so good. You’re so strong.” Ren took one hand away and held her head with the other, cupping her chin, forcing her to look at him. “Just breathe, angel,” Ren said, his free hand slipping down and unclasping the left nipple clamp. As blood rushed back into the numb tissue, a searing rawness overtook Tori and she screamed and buried her face in his shoulder as Ren bent his head and took her wounded nipple in his mouth, sucking and running his tongue over it, soothing the burn while he unclasped the second clamp. As he continued to tend to her breasts, Ren ran his hand down her slick stomach and between her legs. With his thumb and forefinger, he found her clit and pinched just as the flogger found her ass, swatting repeatedly between her cheeks, first one then the other with no reprieve.

  “Right here, angel,” Ren encouraged. “You amaze me.”

  With fi
re licking her every nerve ending, Tori’s womb clenched as tears freely fell and she sobbed. She was so close she could feel it, yet her orgasm didn’t come and heaviness fell between her legs in the form of pain. Her pussy tightened and refused to let go.

  “Angel, say it and it’ll stop,” Ren coaxed, concern in his voice.

  “No, I want it,” Tori sobbed. “It’s been…so, long. Need…”

  Shaking and unable to hold herself up any longer, Ren pulled her to him and looked over her shoulder.

  “Finish it,” he told Chad, authority lacing his voice.

  The flogging stopped and with Chad’s hands clutching her waist, he thrust into her twice more before crying her name and falling to his hands over her, sweat trickling off him and rolling across her back, the saltiness burning the fresh marks on her back. As she cried into Ren’s shoulder, Ren took control again.

  “Move, Chad. Now.”

  With Chad on his back on one side of the bed, Ren rolled Tori, settled between her legs and slipped inside her in one fluid movement. Cold ran across Tori’s skin, followed by warmth as Ren moved over her, his eyes fixed on hers. He held himself off her with one arm and brushed the tears away with the back of the other hand, whispering to her.

  “Shhh…easy, angel. You’re such a good girl, Tori. So good. Let it go, now. Come for me.” As Tori looked to Ren and became lost in his eyes, she flew apart under him.

  Chapter Twelve

  Once Chad rolled and draped an arm over Tori, Ren peeled himself from her grasp and left the bed. Tori lay in Chad’s embrace as he stroked her side and kissed her shoulder. As she lay in a euphoric state she hadn’t experienced in so long she couldn’t remember she heard water running and music coming from the bathroom sound system. A few minutes later, Ren returned and scooped her up. Chad left the bed and followed. The shower was steaming and the tub was filled to the brim with sudsy water. Tori looked at the big tub with longing, but allowed the men to direct her to the shower first.

  “Clean first, then soak,” Ren told her, handing Chad her bath sponge filled with Juicy gel.

  Tori winced as Chad ran the sponge over what she assumed were the angry red marks on her back.

  “I have what you need for that in the bag,” Ren soothed her as his hands ran across her scalp, washing her hair.

  As promised, once Tori was clean, Ren stayed in the shower to wash and Chad picked her up and eased her into the tub.

  “I think we need to feed you,” Chad said quietly, putting a rolled towel under her head. He ran the back of his hand over her cheek. “I love you, Tori.”

  “I love you, too,” Tori told him before closing her eyes, absorbing the luscious heat of the tub.

  She didn’t sleep, she just lay with her eyes shut, listening, taking in all the things that were going on around her. She knew at some point Ren left the shower and Chad entered it, and she also knew when breakfast came. Not just from the sound of the wait staff moving around in the next room, but from the smells that floated through the suite, all of which caused her stomach to rumble.

  “Come on, angel.” Ren ran one finger over her brow and Tori looked up at him.

  Smiling at her, Ren put out his hands to help her out of the tub then dried her gently. Before slipping her robe over her shoulders, he smoothed the cool ointment he’d retrieved from his bag across her back, watching her expression in the mirror that hung over the sinks. Their eyes met in their shared reflection and Tori knew in that moment it was possible to love two men. It had to be because her heart now belonged to Ren as much as it did to Chad. She opened her mouth then closed it again, unsure if she should say it.

  “What is it, Tori?” Ren asked, wrapping the soft cotton around her waist and securing it.

  “You said you loved me.”

  “Yeah, I did. And I meant it. I love you, Tori.”

  “I love you, too. I’m glad you’re here. I feel…”

  “Whole? Complete?”

  Tori nodded, a ball of emotion welling in her throat.

  “Me too, angel.”

  Ren kissed her temple then led her into the bedroom where a small table and two chairs had been set up and a large red and black cushion had been placed on the floor between the chairs. With each man holding a hand, they lowered Tori to her place between them. Foregoing their own hunger, Chad and Ren took turns feeding her bits of seared ham, cubes of cheese, the crispy edges of scones—her favorite piece of the pastry, and strawberries drizzled with honey.

  When she’d had all she cared for, she sat patiently waiting for them to finish, nearly dozing off at one point. Once breakfast was finished and the entire table was wheeled into hallway, Tori was put in the middle of the bed, with Chad and Ren flanking her, wrapping her in their arms so she could sleep.

  Epilogue

  Tori stood at the bottom of the stairwell of Dearborn Four with tears in her eyes. Neither Chad nor Ren were flying home with her. Chad had a meeting the next morning downtown and Ren had to be in New York by Tuesday. Neither of them would be home until Wednesday.

  “No tears, baby,” Chad said, running his thumb along her cheek. “It’s just a few days and then we’ll be there.”

  “We’ll miss you, too, angel,” Ren added from behind her, running his arms around her middle. “Just think about how much fun you’ll have the next couple of days shopping with J.C.

  and getting our bedroom ready.” Ren glanced at Chad and shook his head acknowledging they needed to let her go.

  “I love you, angel. I’ll see you in a few days.” Ren turned her head and kissed her then walked away.

  “I love you, too, Tori. Have a safe flight.” Chad cleared his throat, kissed her and turned, then turned back. “Ren and I talked about it. You can go out with J.C. when you get home if you’d like. Just take the body guard and be careful. I want you to be happy, Tori. I know who am I am now and I’m not afraid of it.”

  About the Author

  Lila Munro is a writer of contemporary romance currently residing on the coast of North Carolina. She is a military wife and takes much of her inspiration for her heroes from the marines she’s lived around for the past fourteen years. Coining the term realmantica, she strives to produce quality romance in a realistic setting. When she’s not writing, she enjoys reading everything she can get her hands on, trips to the museum and aquarium, taking field research trips, and soaking up the sun on the nearby beaches.

  Her previous works include The Executive Officer’s Wife, Bound By Trust, and Destiny’s Fire. Anthology work includes a piece in All I Want for Christmas is Redemption. She loves to hear from her readers and can be contacted via her website http://lilamunro.weebly.com, her joint effort website

  http://www.wickedmuses.webs.com or through Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/Lila_Munro .