Shattered

by Haven Anne Lennox

  Im going to kill him one day mom. You teach me Callum and Malachi that women should not be hit. That a real man wouldn’t put his hands on a woman unless its in a loving way. You tell Genesis to never let a man touch her that way, you even have her going to self defence classes and she is only 10. But you stand here night after night and you let that bastard hit you. So this is what im going to say to you mom, I love you and Tyler Childs will pay for what he has done to you. I talked to grandma and she is coming to get us. We have packed you a bag mom, I want you out of this house away from him.

  I have tears running down my face. I don’t think, this is my son and he is standing here telling me he wants me to get out so I pull Man to me. I pull so hard he slams into me. I ignore the pain that shots thur me from my ribs.

  Ok Man, I say thur the tears, im coming with you. You come in here and tell me what my babies have come up with while I clean up then we will leave. I don’t want grandma to see my face like this. I smile at Man. My son is turning into man. For the last few years I have had to stop Man from trying to fight his daddy, but I know what that man is capibal of doing. I will not have him to anything like that to my son.

  Man stands in the door talking to me quietly about what my beautiful smart babies have come up with. When he is done he slides his thumb across my cheek and says, mom I want this to stop. I hate that he puts his hands on you like this. I will protect you mom. I wont let him do this again.

  Before I can say anything Tyler is standing behind Man clapping his hands together. I don’t like the look in his eyes. I pull Man into the bathroom and make him stand behind me. He is fighting me the whole time, but Tyler isn’t playing a game. Tyler is about to try and teach Man a lesson and I will not stand for it. He knows he can do whatever in the hell he wants to me but he leaves my kids alone. The rule still stands.

  What are doing Tyler? Im almost done here, then ill bring you your supper. I say this as he starts walking slowly toward me almost to the bathroom. I now have to wonder how long he was standing there and what all he heard he reaches the bathroom door and puts an arm on each side of the door. There is no way for either me or Man to get out. I keep my hand on Man keeping him behind me. When Tyler speaks I can feel and hear the evil coming from him. It sends chills down my spine and not in a good way.

  I knew you wasn’t a good seed. You think you can get your mama to leave huh? The little baby wants his mommy all to his self, he doesn’t like sharing with daddy anymore. Tuff shit you little bastard. She is mine and she isn’t going anywhere.

  Im about to speak and tell tyler im not going anywhere but Man starts to talk to his father in a voice I have NEVER heard him use before. Man is 15 and already stands over his dad. Man is 6”2 he has black hair that is cute close to his head on the sides but is longer on top and for some reason he spikes it up, he has light blue eyes and the longest eye lashes known to man. My son is beautiful handsome.

  Tyler, im taking mom, Cal,Chi and Gen out of here. Mom will be going, nothing you do will stop that. You are done putting you hands on her and treating her like your own personal punching bag. Now you have a choice Tyler.

  When Man says that he picks me up and puts me behnd him. I see the fire in tylers eyes I will not let him hurt my son. I keep pulling on Man trying to get back in front of him. When did my son become so strong. Its almost like trying to move Storm. Then it all clicks. Fucking Storm im going to kill him myself. He has been working with Man training him and working out with him. Storm hates Tyler. He has to be the one that has blown Man’s head him making him think he can take his father. I start crying begging Man to stop that its alright ill fix everything. Im pulling his shirt trying to get my arms around him I yell at him him to move and noting fucking works. I have to get in front of him Tyler would love a go at Man. Keeping me behind him Man snaps his head to the side keeping his eyes on his father.

  Mom chill, I told you I would take care of you and I will. Then he turns his head back to Tyler. Tyler has that stupid fucking smirk on his face. I scream again Man move baby please just move. At this point Cal, Chi and Gen are in the hall. I have to calm down I cant let them see whats about to happen. I put my forehead to Man’s back get them out of the hall Man. They cant see. He barks at him

  Cal, Chi get all our shit and take it outside grandma will be here soon. Take Gen with you. They stand there and look at him then me and back to him. I nod my head just as Man barks NOW. they jump and go back into the room grab the bags, then I hear the front door shut.

  Back to Tyler now he says, your choices are to move and make this peaceful. Ill take mama and the other kids away from here and never come back, you can go on with your worthless life or we can throw down. Im not scared of a drunk that gets hard from beating women half his size. See mama raised me right and so did uncle Storm.

  You think you can take me you little bastard? Tyler asks Man while he is bent off holding his stomach from laughing so hard.

  I don’t know if I could take you seeing as how I have only ever seen you fight females I don’t know how you would fight a man.

  Tyler stops laughing at this. You aint no man boy. You aint shit. You’re a 15 year old tittie baby. You will never be worth the time it took to make your sorry ass. He half laughs. I didn’t even want you. I didn’t and don’t want any of you. But that bitch right there he points to me, stay the fuck here. You wanna leave. Fare fucking well. Take the others with you. But her, she is my bitch. I will do with her how I please and when I please. He walks right up to Man and without warning punches him in the stomach, when Man doubles over tyler grabs me by my hair and pulls me to him. My back against his from. Not so smart or fast are you you little shit. Tyler has a hand around my neck the other is holding me close between my stomach and ribs. I see the pain in Mans eyes, I tell him not to worry everyting will be fine. Why am I always saying that when I know it isn’t true.

  Tylers mouth is close to my ear. His hand that was at my throat is slowly going down the side of my body. When he gets to my side I feel his body go tight then his fist hits me so hard in the side. I yell out, but at the same time try to keep it down. Man already looks ready to kill.

  AW does the little baby not like when daddy makes mommy cry. How would baby feel about this. Tyler grabs a fist full of my hair kisses me dead on my mouth pushing his tongue inside. He lifts from the kiss looks right up at Man then slams my head into the mirror over the sink. I see fucking stars, Man is yelling, I have fallen to the floor blood running different ways across my face.

  YOU SONOFABITCH ILL FUCKING KILL YOU

  I hear man scream. I see him charge Tyler. They go down in a mess of arms and legs. I need to get up. There is blood in my eyes. I have to stop this. Pull you fucking shit together Rain, stop this before Man gets hurt. I roll to the side and swallow the sharp pain. I have to get to them and make them stop. I look up at them, fists are flying, Man gets a right hook to his face and stubbles back. They cant do much we are in a bathroom. Man comes back with a left then a right getting in both shots to Tylers face which backs Tyler against the wall. I scream at them to stop just stop please, I know what I have to do. One is get my sorry ass off this floor and then go protect my son. I get standing and im dizzy. Holding on to the wall I get to the guys. Don’t ask e how I did it but some how I got myself in between them so Tylers knee ended up in my stomach again. Man is trying to pick me up but I have to get Tyler to stop hitting him. At this point my mom busts into the apartment she is in the door to the bathroom before I know it pulling Man out and he is fighting her trying to get loose.

  Mom take them please, keep them safe. Man is yelling no I wont go without you mom. Tyler wraps his hand around my neck pulls me in, if you leave with them I will beat and kill each one while you are tied to a chair watching. Before I kill Gen Ill let her feel a real man before she dies. I know she isn’t mine because her mom is the biggest slut I have ever met. Then he kisses my cheek lets go of my neck and steps away from me.

  My mom starts talking
before I get the chance.

  I didn’t raise you like this Rainy, you deserve so much better then that piece of shit. I will take my grandbabies but you listen and you listen well, they are mine, until you get your shit worked out stay the fuck away. Right now you are just as bad for them as he is.

  No grams we cant leave her here, he will kill. Make her go grams. Lets go get Storm. Ill pick her up and carry her, but we cant leave her here.

  Man i say I want to go to him but if I move I may fall and that wouldn’t help anything. Go with your Grams. Tears are running down my face I have one hand to my chest and the other holding my ribs. I don’t know what my face looks like but im sure it isn’t pretty. Help her and Storm raise them to be good people. I will talk to you soon. I love you kid. Im doing this for you and your brothers and your sister. I will always be with you guys. And ill see you again very soon. Come here baby. I get him to walk to me and throw my arms around him and hold him tight. I love you baby thank yu so much for loving me and wanting to tak care of me.. we will be together very soon. Now go and be good. He turns and walks away. With one more look from my mother before she walks away. I turn and look at Tyler and meet his smirk and a punch to the face. It was lights out for me

  ===================================================================

  So see that is the reason I don’t leave. I know that Tyler would do what he said he would do that day. The kids are older now. my boys talk to me and we meet up while Tyler is at work. My daughter Gen wont have anything to do with me. She thinks I choose Tyler over them. She was so young when she went to stay with my mom. She is 12 now soon to be 13, Man is almost 17 Cal is 15 and Malachi is 14. Mom called me yesterday and asked if I was ready yet. I said no and she hung up on me.

  I look up when the door opens. The three men in my life that I love the most are standing in front of me. My boys are here. Malachi is the first one to the bed he comes to my right side while Cal comes to the left Man stays at the foot of the bed. I grab Cal and Mal at the same time and pull them to me.

  My babies, I say. I meet eyes with Man, he has his arms crossed his back straight and I can tell his feet are apart. He is standing just like Storm when shit is about to go down. Letting go of the boys they move back and their hands go to their pockets. I told Storm I didn’t want the boys to come here at least until I could open my eyes and talk. So here they are.

  Mom, Mal is the first to speak. I look over at him and smile. My beautiful baby. Mal isn’t as tall as Man. Mal is and comes in at almost 6”0 not short. All my boys tower over me. He has my dark brown hair and dark blue eyes. He is starting to get some peach fuzz on his chin and he is built. That has to be Storm teaching the boys a way to let off steam. He has tan skin from being outside so much. Mom he calls again trying to get me to tune back in.

  Sorry baby, I was just thinking about how much you guys have grown up. You are babies anymore. Your almost men now. I feel the tears burn the back of my eyes I turn to Cal, he is about to be 16. Cal and Man share a birthday month. Same month different days. So they end up being the same age for 12 days. Cal is 6”1 built like the other two with long blond hair and baby blue eyes. He has always kept his hair long and he wears it loose most days but today he has it tyed back with a thin black pony tail holder. He is wearing the same as his brothers, black basketball shorts and wife beaters. I tear runs down my cheek I quickly wipe it away and smile at my boys. Mal trys again but this time he gets to say what he has been waitin to say.

  Mom, we came to talk to you. Uncle Storm has told us what is going on with Felix and what Tyler did to you, as well as the fact that he has two other kids by a woman that isn’t you. He did the same thing to her that he is doing to you mom. You have to get out. All three of us have been working. Cal has been helping kids with school work and we have all picked up odd jobs. Me and Man has full time jobs and we have already talked to Grams about it and if you go for what we say she will support us anyway she can.

  I stare at him, who is this man child, he sounds so grown. Fuck I have missed so much. Im not saying yes but tell me the idea you boys have for me.

  Mal looks at the other two and they nod their head so he looks back at me and begins to tell me his idea.

  We have all been saving money since we moved in with Grams. We help with her bills and things but she always tells us to save our money so we have. We have enough money saved to get you a bus or plane ticket or anywhere wth enough money to help you get set up where ever you go. We will come to you as soon as Tyler stops looking. We want you out NOW mom. Just like we did three years ago when he busted the mirror with your face.

  For that he gets punched in the arm by Cal who says, dude really. Chill the fuck out. My neck snaps to Cal and I say, you my dear boy had better watch your month. To which he says

  No offense ma but we have bigger things to worry about then me cussing.

  I look at my boys. Their faces are the same. They were always good at keeping how they feel from their faces but not their eyes. In their eyes I can see the fear they have that I will say no. which I will because I know that Tyler will never stop coming for me I know he will do what he said he would do to my kids. I could just tell them, but they are kids. Im their mom. I have to keep them safe even if that means they hate me. I will keep them safe. I drop my head take a deep breath then raise my head to break their hearts again.

  Your father I say but I jump when Man says, you don’t call that sonvabitch my father. Mal and Cal nod their heads in agreement.

  Ok I wont call him your father. But you have to know that he didn’t do this to me. To that I get man for real, from Cal, Mal sucks his teeth and Man says here we go.

  He didn’t yall. I was running out to the store and I guess my shoe was untied and I took a spill down the steps.

  Man goes to the little closet that holds what is left of my clothes looking for shoes. Shit I forgot I was bare footed. He just closes the door and comes back to the bed I know they are trying to help but I wont risk them to save myself. I cut my eyes at Man. Are you finished I say.

  No words just stared.

  Boys it means a lot to me that you guys wanna help but im staying where I am.

  If you stay with Tyler this is exactly where you will stay. That comes from Mal.

  Im staying with your fath….i trail off and say Tyler. Ill be fine yall. If it comes to a point where I wont be fine ill take u up on it. For now, use the money to buy a car take ur girl friends out. Man, prom is coming up, go to prom. Leave the money for college. Just be happy. Im happy and im fine. I love you guys so much.

  Cal says this was a waste of time I have work to do. He bends at the waist kisses my head tells me he loves me and the money will stay where it is. Then he walks out of the room. Mal does the same but tells me that when im ready he will be to. That he isn’t goin to stop until im aways from Tyler then he turns tells man that he will meet him at the car. He gets a chin lift and is gone.

  Its just me and Man now. he comes to my right side and sit down he grabs my hand with one hand then runs his index finger over the scar on my forehead. It’s the scar from Tyler busting a mirror with my face as my son put it. Then Man talks to me like he hasn’t talked to me in years.

  I know that this is because of me. He says as he keeps going over the scar on my head. I don’t speak just listen. I know that you got between us because you thought he would hurt me but he will never hurt me mom. He isn’t strong enough. He beats on you because he is a pussy. If you leave with us when they release you between me Uncle Storm, Cal, Mal, Liam and Felix we can keep you safe and he will never find you.

  You need to let this go. You all do, Man. You will all get hurt if you don’t stop. Just let me go son. Ill always be with you, always but I need you to stay safe and the only way for that to happen is for you to stay away from tyler and stop trying to get me to leave. I place my hand on his cheek and he closes his eyes outing the hand that was on my forehand over my hand on his face. When he opens his eyes I can see th
at I have hurt him but I can also see that he isn’t goin to give up before he even says it.

  One side of his mouth lifts up in a smirk that looks so much like Tyler’s I hate that smirk but on Man it doesn’t bother me.

  Ma do you really think im going to give up? You are my mom, I promised you I would take care of you. Im not doing a very good job of that, but today that shit changes. I will never and I do mean never let you go. I will get you away from Tyler even if I have to kill the fucker myself.

  I break in the convo right there. For one you will watch your mouth Liam Manuel Childs, now I know that you are upset and that you want me to be safe. And I love you for it baby, but you have your whole life ahead of you don’t do anything stupid like trying to save me when I cant be saved. I hold my hand up when he opens his mouth to speak. No shut it, I tell him. I have to do something that I never wanted to do, not with my babies anyway. I have to make him hate me.

  I like where I am Man. I know that is hard for you to believe but Tyler makes me happy. I don’t see a reason to leave. Me being here has shit to do with your father, you are young and handsome. Go find someone you can save because baby boy you wont find anyone here. This goes for you your brothers and your fucking uncle, just stop. I mean this shit. Stop now before someone important gets hurt. Someone like you Storm your brothers. Have you thought about what all of this will do to your sister? Why cant you just feel like your sister? My tears are falling. Im shaking. I have to get through to him thou. Just go away Man and don’t come back here. I don’t want any of you to come back I want to be left alone. There was a reason I didn’t fight and I let yall leave with Grams that night. I don’t have to worry about yall. Now get out Man and don’t come back I fucking mean it. You come back and ill get out of this bed and beat your ass myself.