Probably the Best Kiss in the World

by Pernille Hughes

  “You gave the distinct impression you were up for it.” Ava was livid. Zara stared at Jen, clearly in agreement, like some cyber henchwoman.

  “Yes, yes I know I did,” Jen agreed, ashamed. “But it was a genuine change of heart on my part. It wasn’t maliciously meant. I didn’t want to hurt anyone.”

  “Well, I feel totes let down,” Ava stated, flinging her hands down to her sides, where they hung in fists. There was a risk she’d fling herself on the floor and tantrum.

  “Totes,” Zara agreed, as a skier passed behind her, sending a spray of snow over her. Some swearing ensued, and her mood was not improved.

  “And you should have told us yourself, not left it to Robert,” Ava added. “I’d thought more of you than that.”

  Wow. They were taking this really badly. “Well, I rather thought it was best coming from Robert, and it’s quite recent.” She didn’t want to say she wasn’t that close to them. She’d only mentioned it to Lydia this morning as she’d walked out the door. Lydia had spun back into the house to envelope Jen in crushing hug and a brisk “thank fuck for that”, which was far more accepting than what she was getting here. She hadn’t told Alice and Max yet, and they were infinitely higher on her list than the sisters.

  “We have so many plans,” Ava lamented with a wail. “You’re crucial to them, Jen. It’s going to be such a blast.” Ah yes, the hen-do. The official one. Jen couldn’t say she was too upset about giving that a miss. She wasn’t the spa-day sort, least of all with these two preening away and spaffing champagne on drinking games.

  “I am sorry. Truly,” Jen said, which she genuinely was. She was slightly touched they were this upset. Lord knew it meant something for Zara to get her face in gear. “I just never saw I had other needs. And while it would have been fun going with you, it wasn’t the right thing to do in the long run.”

  Ava looked incensed. “Well, I think you’re wrong. It’s a winner if ever I’ve heard of one. You’re making a huge mistake.” She was adamant and sounding quite snarly. Jen appreciated her faith in her and Robert, but ultimately she couldn’t agree.

  “This isn’t about you Ava, or you Zara. Being your sister-in-law would of course have been lovely, but this is about Robert and me, and it just wasn’t going to work.” There. She didn’t think she could be plainer than that, and it wasn’t any of their business, anyway.

  Both sisters looked confused.

  “What?!”

  Jen didn’t quite understand their reaction, but then she was slightly bewildered about how personally they were taking it all. “I broke off the engagement?” Ava turned to look at Zara on the screen. Both their jaws were hanging. That didn’t make sense given the last few minutes. Jen looked between them, equally confused. “What did Robert tell you?” It had been amicable. Sort of. A bit frosty, yes, and the car journey back to her house had been one of the more awkward trips of her life, but it had been civilised and polite. She couldn’t imagine him going home and ranting about it. He was more the stoic type when it came to loss of face. Unless of course he’d gone home and told them he’d dumped her, in which case she had royally stuck her foot in it now.

  “But that’s what you needed your money for!” it exploded out of Ava. “The house by the golf course. That’s what he told us Friday night. He said you’d decided you couldn’t be partner here because you were selling the workshop and you’d rather invest your money in the house.” Oh. That was a whole different conversation. Now things made more sense to Jen.

  “That’s not quite what I’d said,” she began, knowing they’d made no such agreement. She’d definitely told Robert she wasn’t going to take the partnership, and probably she should have got in there first to tell her bosses, but, given all the recent events, it had rather got back-burnered. And of course she hadn’t relished the conversation she knew would follow.

  This one, in fact.

  “Right. The partnership,” Jen acknowledged, “that’s not what I thought we were talking about.”

  “So the house thing is off then?” asked Zara.

  “Well, the wedding is off, so yes.” Jen had thought that was quite obvious.

  Ava’s face filled with relief and she dropped into a chair. “God, you had us going there, Jen. Didn’t she, Zaz?” Jen noticed neither of them seemed particularly gutted on Robert’s behalf.

  “Totes.” Zara started looking around her, no longer invested in the conversation. “Aves darling, you can handle this now, can’t you? The situation’s over. We’re off to Wild Wadi. Jonty loves a water park. He’s booked us a few more nights, by the way sweetie, so we can try out Aquaventure and Atlantis too.” She blew air kisses at the screen and disappeared before Ava could get a word in.

  Ava pulled out a coffee cup from behind a stack of papers, steam still rising from it. She hadn’t been pacing the office since dawn then.

  “Panic averted,” she said, having a sip, and laying a hand on her chest to calm her breathing. “Of course, I’m sad about Robert. Mumsie is going to be devastated, and personally I think you’ve passed up a gem there, but I would say that, given he’s my brother. But you’re a grown up Jen, and you make your own choices, so I’ll have to respect this one. I’m a grown up too, and that’s what we do, isn’t it?” She seemed quite proud of her own magnanimity.

  Jen tentatively pulled her own chair out and sat down to her work. She was rather hoping Ava would disappear into her office leaving Jen to get on with things.

  “So, how quick can you get the Arches sold, do you think?” Ava asked, going nowhere. “And don’t worry – we’re going to have you so busy as partner, darling, you won’t have time to think about the pain of the breakup. I know Robert will throw himself into the golf. And the work, of course. He can draw up the partnership docs for a start.”

  Jen came to a slow freeze. There was so much going on there, misconceptions that needed tackling – not least that Robert could throw himself more into the golf. She stared at her screen, instinctively knowing she stood on a precipice here. Do it, she told herself. Tell her. Be honest. She’ll understand. She was a “grown up” apparently, whose choices would be respected. Jen almost laughed at her attempt to delude herself.

  She spun to face Ava, hands clasped between her knees. “So here’s the thing, Ava …”

  She told her about her dream to brew, stressing she’d absolutely be doing it out of hours and that Well, Honestly! wouldn’t feel any adverse effects (at least not while she still worked there, but she didn’t add that bit), and she’d be doing it at the Arches, which meant not selling and by the way it was actually half Lydia’s anyway, and so, unfortunately, there wasn’t any money to buy in with, nor would she feel she could give the partnership the time it deserved because of the beer, which was her passion and her dream, again not that it would impact her work here, and had she mentioned the passion?

  Ava stayed quiet for a moment, after which Jen noticed she was shaking. Jen checked her face to see if she was crying, but the laser stare from her eyes said “not so much”. Then the tremors erupted into a full volcanic blast.

  “But what about MY dreams?!” Ava flew to her feet from the chair like some geyser, the force making Jen sit back in her own. “The tampons are already arriving. Surely that trumps your brewery thing which you haven’t started yet.” Jen chose not to point out she’d been making beer for years already. Ava needed to vent. “We need your input. You’re spoiling everything.” She sounded like she was six and Jen could see one leg trembling, itching to stamp.

  “You’ll have my input, Ava. I’ve already done a marketing plan, haven’t I?” She understood Ava’s disappointment. Perhaps doing the marketing research and plan had given the impression she was committed. In her own head, she’d given the impression of still thinking about it. Either way, she hadn’t been completely honest, had she? “I’ll do the marketing, you just won’t have to share any of the profits with me.”

  “No!” Ava was angrily waggling her finger at her now, steam
virtually coming out of her ears. “If you aren’t prepared to take a stake, then you can’t play at all.”

  “What?”

  “No. You can’t stay.” Ava was livid, almost foaming at the mouth, teeth gnashing. “If you aren’t with us on this, then we need to find someone who is. This is an all-or-nothing deal.” Ava clearly wasn’t thinking straight, the high pitch of her voice supporting Jen’s opinion.

  “What happened to respecting choices?” Jen asked, bewildered. “I can still work on your products. I just can’t invest in them.” Jen was having a panic. She needed the job here. She needed an income. She didn’t know whether the brewing would work, and while she would willingly work two jobs to give it a go, the thought of banking everything on a risk was beyond scary.

  “That isn’t a ‘choice’,” Ava hissed with a snarky air-quote. “It’s an insult. And I, we,” she jabbed her finger to the blank screen beside her, supposedly representing Zara, “can’t – won’t – stand for that. If you’re not in, you’re out. Pack up your stuff.”

  Jen looked at her stunned. Was she serious? The silence between them said apparently so. Aiden walked into the office, took one look at them and walked straight back out again mumbling something about needing milk. Neither woman moved.

  Come on, thought Jen. Back down. I need the money.

  It dawned on her that Ava was thinking the exact same thing. Her money was what they really wanted. Not her. It rather put things in perspective, stripping away any sentiment and loyalty.

  “You need a marketing person, Ava,” Jen tried, hoping to calm the tension. “Someone who knows the business.” Neither sister could market for toffee and Jen was key to the business. But Ava’s angry aura said she’d never admit it.

  “And we’ll find one who recognises the post of Partner & Marketing Director is a dream job. Someone with vision.” God, she was stubborn.

  “You’re putting me in an impossible position, Ava.”

  “It’s not impossible,” Ava scoffed. “We’re offering you a fabulous opportunity, and you’re rejecting it. But you seem to be on a roll this week, passing up fantastic things. Clearly you aren’t the astute business woman you think you are.”

  “Don’t you want to discuss this with Zara?” Jen asked, sensing they were at an impasse.

  “No need. She’s with me.” Sounded about right. Zara was happy not to make the decisions or do the work.

  “You know I have rights, right?” Jen asked, feeling she should be sticking up for herself out of principle but, given she hated the job, not finding the conviction.

  “Ugh!” Ava exclaimed, with a look of scorn. “It’s all about the money with some people! You’ll have your wages at the end of the month. Consider this gardening leave. I don’t want to see your face around here and we don’t need you.” Jen would give Ava two days to see that it wasn’t true; Aiden could barely open the post.

  Jen shook her head, knowing there was no point trying to reason with Ava and finding it bizarre she was about to leave work before it was even 9 a.m. on a Monday morning. Though the fear was building inside her about the lack of income, she knew in her heart there was no way she was putting Ava’s bonkers dream ahead of her own. Maybe she was on a roll – finally understanding which arrangements weren’t right for her.

  Jen turned to her desk, dropped the framed photo of her and Lydia into her bag before pulling it onto her shoulder. Realising Jen’s intention, Ava’s eyes grew wide and she poorly stifled a shriek, then stormed into her office slamming the door behind her.

  Walking out, Jen hoped she never saw an inco pad again. Even if the brewing didn’t come off, if she ran out of cash or nobody wanted the stuff, she was done with them. She’d bloody find her busking skill first. For once she was putting herself foremost.

  Only, rather than being a euphoric moment, stepping out onto the pavement had her feeling highly vulnerable and far from in control.

  Chapter 29

  Trying to keep the unemployment issue as low-key in her mind as possible, and only stopping for two espressos, Jen headed for the Arches. No, she wasn’t floundering aimlessly without a job to anchor her or give her day shape, stability and general security in life. Of course not. It wasn’t like she didn’t have other things to do. She had a brewery to establish and beers to create and customers to conjure out of thin air. None of that was a shock, it was all planned and under control. She’d just lost her long, comfortable lead in, that was all. Nothing to worry about. It was all stuff she was going to do anyway, lalalala, not worried, not worried …

  She texted Lydia the news and by the time she reached the Arches she had a string of Lydia’s immediate thoughts ranging from party emojis celebrating this Golden Hopportunity to a sad haiku lament over their lost free crampon supply. She ended with suggestions for where Ava and Zara should stick their crampons and a note to Jen of Don’t stop Beerlievin’, complete with backing track.

  Espresso-fuelled and denial-led, Jen threw herself into her to-do list, relishing crossing things out on the pad as she went. Deleting things on the phone lists had never offered quite the same pleasure. Still in her office clothes she stuck to the cleaner jobs, initially making files with the permit paperwork, the council applications and receipts. The first receipt was for the twenty-something grand she blew in the space of thirty minutes, purchasing a six-barrel brewing kit which would make her over nine hundred litres of beer with each brew, and then for the further five grand’s worth of ingredients and bottling supplies. The price tag would have been worse if she hadn’t already had Yakob’s reconditioned tanks. Giddy-shocked from her purchase, she optimistically made a file called Sales, which she placed mid-shelf ready and waiting. Aarrmmaaggaahhdd, she was doing it. The hysteria was bubbling in her, a queasy mix of caffeine, glee and bum-clenching fear.

  Looking out through the office window at her new workspace, she experienced the absolute joy of being part of an entity as it began. Ava and Zara had – somehow – already established Well, Honestly! when she joined, but this was brand new, starting from scratch, utterly in its infancy. Robert could keep his babies, right now this was all the baby she needed or wanted. But thinking of babies … Jen grabbed her keys, swiftly locked up and nipped next door.

  There was no two ways about it, Re:Love definitely sported a more inviting aroma than her place. For now. Currently it smelled of tyres, fuels and Charlie’s cigarettes beneath the newer, stronger scents of her own brick and floor sealants, but Jen knew with time, and weeks of airing, it would come to bear the fine scent of beer, yeast, malts and hops.

  “Skiving?” asked Alice, popping up from behind the counter.

  “Nope, setting up next door. For good. I got canned.” For the first time she could properly smile about it. So what if she didn’t have a guaranteed income now, and no firm sales and nothing concrete to work with other than three recycled tanks and her know-how? It was all hers and for today at least she decided to enjoy it.

  Alice’s jaw dropped. “Max! Emergency meeting!”

  Max appeared from the back carrying a mantelpiece, which she propped against a wall, placed two buckets of flowers on either side and joined them at the counter. She was, as always, wearing her resting serious face. Jen briefed them on the details, both on the sacking and the break up. Neither friend seemed overly upset on her behalf. For either event. Alice was looking positively pleased.

  “I think you’ve got some employment rights there, Jen,” Max pointed out, sensibly. “They can’t just sack you from one second to the next without some gross misdemeanour. You weren’t watching porn in the office, were you?”

  Jen gave her a look. “No, and yeah I know,” Jen said, though she suspected Ava felt she had indeed committed a gross misdemeanour in rejecting their offer. “I’ll think about that in a few days when the dust has settled. Right now, I want to get the brewery going. I’m running on the adrenalin.” Which was true. She was raring to go.

  “Well, I for one am delighted to have you as a
new neighbour.” Alice always had lovely things to say. “It’ll be nice to have more life around the place. Checking on you will give me something to do. Another local company just cancelled their order. Cost cutting.”

  “I was just thinking about a business op for both of us actually, Alice,” Jen said, excited, ignoring the suggestion that she needed checking on. “You’d be my customer, Alice, but it would work both ways.”

  “I already drink your beer,” Alice pointed out.

  “I know, but I meant the shop. I had this idea. You know how you’re allowed to deliver champagne with the flowers?” Alice nodded. “I was thinking about how people buy flowers for new mums and I thought you could try a gift set with flowers and a couple of beers for the parents. A stout’s supposed to be good for breastfeeding, isn’t it? Anyway, that was what I was thinking, a baby gift set. I know it isn’t going to solve all the finances, but who knows where it might lead. What do you think?” The words came tumbling out of her mouth and she held her breath, hoping Alice might think it was a goer. Alice mulled it over, looking around at her accessories.

  “I could cellophane the bottles and tie them off with the matching ribbon to the flowers.” Jen nodded eagerly, pleased Alice was thinking along with her.

  “I’d do you a small batch from home so the stock’s not too big and we can name it something relevant.”

  “Daddy’s Financial Drain,” Max chipped in.

  “Or something positive,” Alice chided with an eye-roll. “Daddy’s Darling, perhaps? Or something gender neutral, we’ll work something out. It’s worth a shot, Jen. We’ll soon see if it tanks.” She stuck out her hand and they shook on it. “I’ll look at the wholesalers to see if there’s some baby-handy container for the flowers.”