“He’s fine.” I chewed my bottom lip then continued. “He’s better than he was before—when he was here. He looks better.”
Uncle Benjamin nodded slowly, the sagging wrinkles around his mouth making him look as tired as I felt. “Thank you for trying. It’s all in God’s hands now.”
In God’s hands? Is it?
I bowed my head and started upstairs.
“Sally, are you hungry, dear?” Ruth came across the room to stand at the bottom step. “I can get you something. How about some warm milk? It will be no trouble.”
“Thank you, Ruth, but I’m not really hungry.” I continued up the steps to the bedroom I shared with my cousins.
Upstairs, Mary lay across the bed staring at the ceiling. When I came in, she glanced over. “It was a good trip, jah?”
I scowled. “For you, maybe.”
“I’m sorry Jack wouldn’t come back. He seems happy enough, though. Don’t you think?”
“I guess.”
Mary sat up and dangled her feet over the edge of the bed. “You upset?”
I glared at her. “What do you think?” I answered her more harshly than I’d intended, and she gave me a dirty look and rose to go.
“Sorry. I’m tired.”
She paused. “So, what’s the plan? Is he going to stay there forever?”
“I don’t know for sure.”
I wasn’t about to share my plan with Mary. Although, of anyone in the family, she would probably understand best. But not for the right reasons. I knew she hungered after “fancy” things—things in the Englisch world. Yet those “fancy” things had little to do with my decision to return to Ohio.
I leaned against the dresser and stared at how the grain of the wood curled into a pattern of curves and loops running down the full length of each board. My mind once again played with possibilities. If I stayed in Hollybrook and joined the church, would I miss electricity, my phone, the Internet, cars? The “fancy” things that Mary longed for?
I shuddered. No reason to think about it—not anymore. I was going back to Ohio, and that’s all there was to it.
****
After months of attending preaching Sundays, I still wasn’t completely used to the length of the services. One sermon seemed plenty to me—but two? And the second one could go for hours. In the first months, by the time it was over, I was ready to bolt. Didn’t even matter where.
But lately, I found myself listening hard. I still struggled with the language, but the bits I grasped seemed to sink way down inside me. Oftentimes, I left the service with a raw hope burning through my heart.
After the preaching, I was expected to help with the laying out of dinner. But that Sunday after the Ohio trip, I figured I could be a minute or two late so I sneaked off to the edge of the fields. The sun was warm and bold enough to leave me squinting. Two sparrows flitted above the knee-high corn, chasing each other and swooping so close I had to laugh.
“Nothing as beautiful as a young crop,” came a voice from behind.
My breath caught.
“Lovely day, jah?” Zeke asked.
He stood casually beside me, and I felt his gentle strength flow through every cell of my body. I was surprised he’d joined me in plain sight. Was anybody watching us? I quickly glanced around, checking for observers.
His gentle laughter rippled through the air. “No worries, Sally. No one is watching.”
If anyone was watching, Zeke would catch it for sure. He was twenty, plenty old enough to find a wife—and him talking there with me, an Englisch girl alone, wouldn’t do.
Wouldn’t do at all.
“How was your trip? How was Jack?” His startling blue eyes probed mine.
“Good. Fine. Jack’s fine.”
He took off his wide-brimmed hat and ran a hand through his hair, shoving the unruly blond curls away from his forehead. He replaced his hat and I watched as if mesmerized, unable to take my eyes from his striking features and handsome ways.
He gave me a quizzical look, and then chuckled again.
“Uh, I need to go,” I said, turning away.
“Wait.” He put his hand on my arm, and a jolt ran through me. “Tell me more about your trip.”
“Nothing happened.” Except I decided to leave Hollybrook and any chance of ever gaining your love. I suppressed an insane urge to throw my arms around him. Instead, without another word, I lowered my gaze to the ground and walked straight back to the barn where the men had set up tables and chairs for the noon meal.
Aunt Elizabeth saw me approach and waved me over. “Get these bowls of pickles out on the tables, would you Sally?”
I grabbed up three of the bowls. “Sure.”
I felt her study my face as I set the bowls out. Does she know my plan? Could she sense my decision to leave Hollybrook for good after I graduated?
Perhaps I should declare my intentions, clear the air, and make my course known to everyone.
But what about Zeke? Was I ready to tell him?
I plopped the second bowl onto a table, and pickle juice slopped over my hand. There was no reason to tell Zeke anything. It wasn’t like we were courting. Or even could court.
Besides, I’d already decided to stay with Bryan.
I finished helping with the set-up. Like usual on a preaching Sunday, we ate in shifts, there not being enough room to serve all of us at once. After everyone was fed, I helped with the clean-up. Mary’s friend Josie found me putting the leftover slices of bread into bags.
“Hey, you going to the youth singing tonight?”
“No.”
“Why not? You stayed for the last one, didn’t you?”
I looked into her flushed face and black eyes. She was pretty. I wondered if she had a secret beau taking her home after the singing. If not, she should have.
“I have a date,” I explained.
Her eyes came alive. “Really? Who with? What are you going to do?”
“A friend from school is taking me somewhere.”
“In his car, right?”
I nodded.
“Sure would be easier to hide inside a car.”
I set the bags of bread in a heap at the end of the table. “What do you mean?”
“Sometimes it’s hard not to be noticed when you’re going the speed of a horse trot. How are we supposed to keep courting secret?” She laughed and nudged me. “So, you’re still going to school, right?”
“One more year.”
“Glad I’m finished. Eighth grade is long enough.” She grabbed up the bags of bread, balancing them in a bear hug. “Maybe your friend would come to the singing, too.”
I visualized Bryan sitting amidst all the Amish youth, not knowing a single song they sang. But Bryan was a good sport and had a great sense of humor so he’d probably have everyone laughing within minutes. He’d fit in. Odd when I thought about it … Bryan would fit in anywhere.
“Maybe I’ll ask him. Wouldn’t we get in trouble, though, if he came?”
“Ach, Sally. It’s not a prison. We can have guests.” She took a few steps and then turned back. “We let you attend, don’t we?”
And there it was. A virtual slap to my face. She didn’t mean it, I knew she didn’t. But she couldn’t have given me a clearer message of my not belonging if she’d tried.
I walked out to where all the buggies sat like rows of black blocks. I pulled out my cell phone and punched Bryan’s number. He answered on the first ring.
“Hey, can you come get me right now? I’m at the Graber’s farm on Melody Lane. You’ll see the buggies.”
Bryan agreed, and I went back to the house to find Ann. She was on a porch bench chatting with Abram’s sister Mercy. I nodded at Mercy then bent close to Ann’s ear and whispered. “Tell Aunt Elizabeth and Uncle Benjamin I got another ride home. I’ll see you later.”
Ann pulled on my sleeve as I straightened to leave. “Wait! Where are you going? Who’s taking you?”
“I’ll be with Bryan.” I igno
red her furrowed brows and ran back to the road. Within minutes, Bryan pulled up.
I opened the passenger door and was about to hop in when I noticed the tall, unmoving figure of Zeke watching from a few yards away. I froze with my foot halfway into the car.
Zeke’s questioning expression gave way to a grim knowing look. I put my foot back to the ground.
“Come on, get in, Sally,” Bryan urged. “I’m halfway blocking the road here.”
I bent down and peered at him. “Give me a minute, will you?”
He shrugged, pulled the door shut, and drove up a few feet and onto the grass, clearing the road.
I turned to Zeke.
“You’re leaving?” His tone was low and resigned.
“Did you need something?” I asked in a halting voice. Why hadn’t I just climbed into Bryan’s car? Why even have a conversation with Zeke?
The brim of his hat shadowed his eyes. I stepped closer. “You didn’t answer. Do you need something?”
“What?” Zeke asked. “Nee. Not really. No, nothing. I was going to ask you about the singing tonight.”
I backed up. “Uh, I’m not going.”
Zeke gave a slow nod and locked his thumbs around his suspenders. “I see. Well then, I guess that’s it. Have a good time with your friend.” He tilted his head toward Bryan’s car, then walked away, leaving me staring at his back.
Bryan tapped his horn, and I hurried to his car and got in.
“Let’s go.”
“Who was that?” Bryan asked, glancing in his rearview mirror.
“Some Amish guy.”
Bryan raised one eyebrow at me but said nothing. He shifted into gear, and we headed toward town. “You hungry?”
“We had a meal after the preaching.”
“Any room for some French fries?”
I smiled. “Sure. Why not?”
Bryan pulled into the lot of Dobey’s Fast Food. He cut the engine and turned to me. “Did you get enough God for the week?” His smile was playful, and he tweaked a strand of hair over my shoulder.
I pulled my hair back to where it had been. Bryan looked confused. “Sorry. You okay?”
I blinked rapidly, disturbed by my reaction to his words. I knew he’d been kidding, but I found myself irritated. Enough God for the week? What was that supposed to mean? I grabbed the cool metal handle to get out, but Bryan reached over to stop me. “What gives, Sally? Why are you mad?”
I dropped my gaze to my lap. “Mad? I’m not mad.”
“You’re something … Who was that guy again?”
“Just a guy from the community there.”
“His name?”
“Zeke Zook.”
Amusement flickered in Bryan’s eyes. “Zeke Zook? No kidding? What kind of a name is that? Sounds like a little kid’s poem. Zeke Zook hid in a nook…”
It did sound silly the way Bryan said it.
“It’s Ezekiel Zook,” I corrected myself, working to keep my voice neutral.
“Well, then. Better.” Bryan smiled. “I’m sorry. I’m not trying to make fun of your friends.” He took a deep breath. “Maybe that’s not true; I am a little. Just a bit jealous, I guess.”
My gaze flew to his. “Jealous?”
“You have such a close connection with all of them. Really close.”
He obviously hadn’t heard Josie’s earlier zinger. I leaned my head against the headrest. “That’s not true. And there’s no need to be jealous. Sorry I overreacted. I think I’m still upset about Jack.”
Bryan rubbed my arm. “It’s okay. I understand.” He opened his door—the conversation evidently over. “You ready for those fries now?”
“Let’s go,” I said and climbed out of the car. We went inside, and I claimed a booth while Bryan ordered and picked up the fries. He grinned at me as he balanced the tray high above his shoulder, playing the waiter all the way to our booth. I smiled in return, silently scolding myself for reacting so personally back in the car. Bryan was a nice guy. He was my boyfriend, for heaven’s sake.
My boyfriend? Truly?
Then why did I wish I was sitting at Dobey’s with Zeke instead of Bryan? Why did I wish I was sharing an order of fries with him?
This wouldn’t do. I slid out of the booth and circled around to Bryan’s side. “Scoot over, okay?” Bryan scooted, and I snuggled onto the bench next to him. He picked up a fry and fed it to me. I laughed and did the same to him, dripping a tiny blog of ketchup onto the napkin in my lap.
Two
I’m always the last one off the bus after school. I have a ritual with the bus driver, Margot. I dawdle getting off, and she pretends to be angry at how much time I’m taking. It’s silly, but we both enjoy it. But that day, all I could think of was whether Zeke would be there to greet me.
He often was. He’d take my backpack and carry it the short walk down the road to the Lehman’s driveway. Of late, he’d been there more days than not. I never could figure out how he managed to leave his family’s farmwork every afternoon, only to arrive at my stop looking fresh and relaxed at four o’clock.
That day, I nearly strained my neck hoping to catch a glimpse of him waiting for me. The bus rasped to a stop, and I hurried down the aisle to the door, scanning the area outside through every window. Margot eyed me as I drew closer. I glanced over and noted her brows drawn together with concern.
“What gives, Sally girl? Not going to play our game today?”
I shook my head. “No,” I muttered, hardly hearing her, my gaze still glued to the outside.
“Earth to Sally,” she teased. Then in a serious tone, “Is everything okay?”
I blinked. “Yes. Yes, of course. Sorry, Margot. Tomorrow, okay?”
“No big deal, honey. I just want to make sure you’re okay.”
I touched her hand before descending the steps. “Thanks. See you tomorrow.”
The bus roared off, leaving a puffy cloud of diesel behind. I turned slowly, hoping against hope that Zeke would be standing there when the cloud lifted.
He wasn’t.
I remained unmoving for a moment more, staring at the thistles growing by the side of the road. Two large trees bordered part of my uncle’s fields, splaying the ground with patches of moving light as the wind blew through the leaves. The phone shanty my uncle had installed—amidst complaints from Aunt Elizabeth—stood like a deserted outhouse, only with a tiny window in the door instead of the traditional cutout half-moon.
Except for the gentle rustle of the leaves, everything was silent and radiated peace and calm.
But inside, my stomach gurgled in a storm of confusion. It had been barely forty-eight hours since I’d decided to leave Hollybrook and discard all thoughts of becoming Amish. Barely forty-eight hours, and already I felt sick at the thought.
What was it about this place that pulled on my heart? What was it that made me want to stay and learn more? Was it just Zeke?
I knew it wasn’t. The Amish way of life, the family ties, the watching out for one another, the closeness to God—all of it drew me like a magnet. I lowered my head and strode down the street toward the house, forcing my mind to let it go. I crossed the road and barreled ahead as if in a walking race.
“Sally! Sally!”
I turned to see two of Zeke’s younger sisters, Abbie and Melly, rushing down the road. I paused and waved. They both wore pale purple dresses and scarves tied around their heads. Long blond hair peeked from beneath both their head coverings.
“Hey, girls,” I said, “What are you doing?”
“We came to get you,” Abbie said. She opened her mouth wide and pointed to her gums. “Look, Sally. My tooth is coming in.”
I leaned over and took a good look. “Well, I daresay, Miss Abbie, it most surely is coming in.”
Melly stuck out her little flat chest. “I already got mine.” She opened her mouth for inspection, too. “See? All grown back.” She wiggled a top tooth. “This one’s loose, though.”
I laughed. “Did you co
me to show me your teeth or is there something else I can do for you?”
“We want you to play swing with us,” Abbie said. She crinkled her freckled nose and grinned. “’Member last time? You pushed me to the stars and back!”
I nodded. “I remember.” I looked toward the house. “Tell you what … let me go ask Aunt Elizabeth if she needs me for anything. And if she doesn’t, I’ll come. How does that sound?”
“Perfect,” said Melly.
“Wonderful gut!” cried Abbie.
“Come on, then. Wait for me on the porch.”
We all went to the house and they perched, squished together, on a porch rocking chair. I walked into the front room and saw my cousin Hope sitting with her legs stretched out before her.
“Ach!” she cried, jumping up. “You caught me idle!” She tucked a loose brown curl under her kapp.
I waved my hand at her with amusement. “You’re pregnant. Entitled to idleness I would think.”
“Can I talk to you, Sally?” she asked. Her face had taken on a serious look.
I hurried to her. “Of course. Is something wrong?”
She smiled. “Nee. Nee. I just want to ask you something.”
She sank back to her chair and motioned with her head to the chair beside her. “Can you sit a minute?”
I glanced to the front door. “Sure. I have two little ones waiting for me, but sure.”
“Kids love you,” Hope declared and her face took on a radiance. “Which is why I want to talk to you. I wondered if you’d be my mother’s helper.”
I blinked. “What? I don’t know what you mean.”
“When the boppli comes.”
“I still don’t follow…”
“We have a tradition of mother’s helpers when a new boppli is born. Granted, it’s usually when there are other children needing attention, but I wanted to start right out and ask you.”
She looked pleased, as if she were bestowing a great honor.
Truth was, I did feel honored. She’d chosen me, above her sisters and her aunt. “Of course, I’ll help you. I’d love to help you.”
“You can move in, then?”
I lifted my brows. “Move in? You mean live with you?”
“For a while. Not forever.”
Amish Romance BOXED Set: Amish Days: Sally's Story (Hollybrook Amish Romance) Page 4