by Lisa Sanchez
Not wanting to find out what would happen if his hunger wasn’t completely satiated, I threw another bag his way, and watched as he caught it seamlessly while finishing up the first.
Tossing the first bag aside, he sank his fangs into the second, and repeated. His body visibly eased with each swallow, his shaking slowly coming to a halt. He looked up from the bag as he finished, and I felt an immediate sense of relief when a pair of warm brown eyes met mine. His bloodlust had abated.
Dropping the empty blood bag on the floor, he closed his eyes and let his head fall back against the wall. One arm rested on his knee. His other limb hung limp and heavy at his side. Blissed out. That was the only phrase that could remotely come close to describing the way he looked at that moment. Xan was completely satiated.
“Are you…?” I paused, unsure of what to say or what to do, and looked down at my feet, foolishly afraid to make eye contact.
His voice was smooth, controlled. “Better now. Yes. It was…the sun. I know better than to try and see you during daylight hours. It drains me.” He ran his hand through his hair. Reaching out, he snatched up the empty blood bags, tossing them into the nearby garbage before standing and removing his bloodied shirt.
Silence hung in the air like a bad stench, neither one of us knowing just what to say. Frankly, I was just happy to have come out of his crisis with a pulse. Though I was fairly certain he’d never hurt me intentionally, I had to remember he answered to a very primal set of needs that frequently rose to the surface.
I stood like an idiot in the doorway, my eyes focused on his cream colored carpet. The weight of his stare bore into me with an unyielding intensity. What I saw when I looked up tore at my heart, stealing my breath away.
Xan stood still, silent and brooding, anguish etched across the chiseled lines of his masculine face. His eyes captured mine, refusing to let me look away, forcing me to wade across the abyss of guilt he was so plainly trapped in. I wanted nothing more than to take away his pain, to ease him with my touch, comfort him with my body — if he’d let me.
As hard as it was to tear my eyes from his beautiful face, I found myself staring in awe at his beautifully sculpted and very naked chest. A heaping mass of steely perfection, every inch of Xan’s torso was covered in well-defined muscle.
I’d seen my share of naked abdominals thanks to the plethora of Abercrombie bags Jessica was always bringing into the apartment, but the models that graced those bags had nothing on the magnificent creature standing before me now.
Xan sported a set of eight-pack abs (yes eight, not six) that would put a body builder to shame. His faded jeans hung low on his hips, revealing a delicious and well-defined “V” that pointed the way to what was sure to be enormous treasures below.
Desire flooded every molecule of my body. Never had I been aware of someone so completely before. The call of his body to mine was primal, innate, and I was helpless against it.
Unsure of how long I stood gaping at him with my mouth open, I somehow managed to pull myself together.
I started to speak when, with a blur of movement, he appeared before me, pressing the soft pad of his fingertip to my lips. An electric pulse traveled from my mouth straight down to my hoo-hah. It took every ounce of willpower in me to keep from moaning.
“Wait,” he said, dropping to his knees. He took hold of my waist with his large, tender hands and rested his forehead against my stomach. “Never. Never again will I lose control in your presence. This is my vow to you.” He lifted his head, his eyes locked with mine, and I knew in that moment he would give his life to protect me.
Chapter 9
Time came to a screeching halt as I gazed into Xan’s eyes. We were no longer standing in his room, but in a new reality where only the two of us existed. I fought to breathe as delectable warmth filled me from head to toe. Never in my short life had I desired someone more. When I was near Xan, all rational thought escaped me, and I wanted nothing more than to feel his body against mine, his lips crashing against my own, his tongue —
A shudder ripped through me, and my breath caught as vivid images of a deliciously naked Xan devouring my flesh with his mouth came racing into my head. He’d definitely unlocked my inner vixen, and I was powerless, unable to stop the delicious fantasy flooding my brain as we stared into each other’s eyes. Not that I wanted to. I may have had zero experience in the sex department, but I was eager as hell to make up for lost time.
Acting as though they had a mind of their own, my knees gave way, and I dropped down onto the floor so my face was level with Xan’s. Closer. I needed to be closer to him.
His eyes held the intensity of a man on fire, consumed with passion, and it was staggering. Could he possibly feel the same attraction for me as I did for him? I couldn’t conceive how a creature as perfect and strong and powerful as Xan could harbor any feelings toward me beyond that of friendship. Men in today’s society liked their women tall, paper thin, with gigantic boobs and a face like Angelina Jolie. I had the boob part down, but that was about it.
Still, as inexperienced as I was with men, there was just no mistaking the vibe I was getting from Xan. Desire. And longing. The aura he gave off was profound — like a gentle caress I could feel all the way to my toes. If he made my body feel this good without even touching me, I shuddered to think of the response he could rouse from me with his hands, with his mouth.
I licked my lips in anticipation, waiting for him to make the next move, imagining what his lips would feel like moving with my own — soft, powerful, sensual. God — we were so close. This was it. The thought of Xan giving me my first real kiss only served to fuel the ever-raging fire growing within me.
It would be perfect. He was perfect.
I moved forward ever so slightly, raising my hand to touch his face. That’s when everything changed. In an instant, the look of longing on his face vanished and was replaced by one I couldn’t make out. Anguish maybe? Whatever it was, it wasn’t good.
Stricken, my face fell, my hand dropping to my side as if it weighed a hundred pounds. Rejection was a bitter pill to swallow, and I tried my best not to choke on it as I looked down, treasonous tears threatening to give me away. I was an idiot to think there could be something between Xan and me. I was a virgin freak, a loner. And apparently, I was going to stay that way for the rest of my life. If I’d had a shovel, I would have dug a hole and buried myself in it.
A pair of strong hands latched onto my shoulders when I tried to move away.
“Carino. Look at me.” Capturing my chin between his thumb and finger, he forced me to meet his gaze. He gently wiped away a renegade tear that had escaped, and cupped my cheeks with both hands. “Lo siento. I’m sorry, baby.”
The gentle lilt of his accent and his rich baritone voice tore through my senses like a freight train, tugging at the very heart of me. It hurt to hear his voice. It also hurt to look at him, so I closed my eyes, giving him a slight nod. As much as I wanted to be angry with him, I couldn’t. He didn’t want me the way I wanted him, and that’s all there was to it. It was nobody’s fault. It just was what it was.
I sucked in a quick breath and willed myself to hold it together. I wanted to scream “Why? Why don’t you want me? Why doesn’t anyone want me?” at the top of my lungs. Cowardice had me in a chokehold, so instead I whimpered, “Yeah. It’s okay. I get it.”
A delicious chill rippled across my skin when he buried his fingers in the longer layers of hair at the base of my neck. “Open your eyes, mi amor. Don’t hide them from me.”
Curse my wretched soul — I did what he asked, silently castigating myself for being such a fool where he was concerned. And I was right in wanting to avoid his eyes, because looking into those caramel-colored orbs of his, all I saw staring back at me was a whole lot of pity.
Medically speaking, I wasn’t sure if it was possible for your stomach to cannibalize itself, but
at that moment, as I stood lost in his sympathetic gaze, it sure as hell felt like a reality. A deep ache gnawed away at the last bit of self-confidence I clung to. I wanted to bolt, to get the hell away from him and never look back. I wanted to forget about his warm brown eyes that immediately drew me in every time I looked into them. I wanted to forget about his sexy bed hair, his deliciously ripped chest, and his warm brown skin that just begged to be licked. But I couldn’t. I had no control where he was concerned. If he asked me to jump off a bridge I’d probably do it. I wanted to throw up.
“You don’t understand.” He brushed a stray piece of hair out of my eyes. “Yo soy el hijo del Diablo.”
He was right. I didn’t understand a word of what he’d just said, so I stared at him, my expression blank.
“Fuck!” He clenched his jaw and groaned, a deep, masculine sound that turned my knees to liquid rubber. With his fingers still nestled in my hair, he leaned forward until his forehead rested against mine.
So close. God, he was so close. Didn’t he know the effect he had on me? Was it not painfully obvious that I was lost to him, completely under his thrall? Did he care? Every inch of my skin that touched his was on fire, burning for him. Those full, oh-so-kissable lips of his were just inches from mine. Why? Why did he torment me so? It was beautiful torture having him so near yet knowing I was so far away from being anything he’d ever want.
I didn’t know what it was about our situation he thought I didn’t understand. I understood all too well. He was my guardian, my protector. He watched over me at the request of my great-grandmother. I was a job to him — nothing more.
The moment the smooth pad of his fingertip grazed my cheekbone, the floodgates opened. Hot tears spilled forth, trickling down my cheeks in steady streams. I was pretty damn sure I was the biggest loser on the planet.
Sensing my need, Xan drew me close, wrapping his steely arms around me. Soft, whispered words I couldn’t understand escaped his mouth, filling my ears.
God, he smelled good — clean, masculine. I was positive there wasn’t another soul on the planet who smelled as good as he did. Never one to waste an opportunity, I nuzzled my cheek against the wide expanse of his very naked chest, relishing the warmth of his embrace. For all I knew, I’d never get another chance to be this close to him. I was gonna enjoy everything I could, for as long as I could.
It took a few minutes, but eventually I managed to stop blubbering like a damn baby. My breathing evened out, matching the slow steady rhythm of Xan’s heartbeat. Wait — heartbeat? I pulled away abruptly, staring at him with narrowed eyes. What the…? “You’re a vampire…and you have a heartbeat? What the hell are you?”
He took a deep breath and sighed, no doubt resigned to the fact I wasn’t going to let it go. “A hybrid. I was born, not turned.” With a blur of movement, he rose to his feet and crossed the room, tossing his bloody shirt into the trash before turning to face me again.
I stood from where I’d been kneeling, several feet of carpet and air separating us. “A hybrid?” I’d never heard of such a thing. A vampire that was born, not made — one that walked in the sunlight. He was an anomaly.
Enmity, cold and harsh, clouded his eyes as he spoke. “Yes. I was the unfortunate outcome of an attack on my mother by a vampire.” His voice was distant, cold, and full of self-loathing.
I gasped, feeling as though someone slapped me. Still raw and torn apart from learning of his mother’s torture and death, this new bit of information threatened to do me in. Raped and defiled by a vampire, his mother, instead of ridding herself of the child that came of their unholy union, chose to birth and protect it instead. My heart ached for what she went through, and it ached for Xan, who’d very obviously gone through life thinking he was nothing more than an “unfortunate outcome.” How wrong he was.
“Oh, God, Xan, your poor mother. I’m so sorry she suffered the way she did. But you have to know — ” My feet carried me across the room until I stood just in front of him. Every cell in my body ached to reach out to him, ease him from the pain he was so visibly buried in. “None of it was your fault.”
I raised a hand toward him and stopped as he narrowed his eyes. He didn’t want my sympathy, or my comfort. I couldn’t condemn him for his action. It was only minutes before that I’d shied away from his compassionate stare. Right or wrong, misguided or no, he was entitled to his feelings.
His hardened face gave nothing away as he spoke. “It is what it is. Because of their union, I am unique to this world.”
I swallowed thickly. “Unique. Like how?” Could he sprout wings and fly?
He looked away for a minute, like he didn’t want to answer me, and turned back with a sigh. “Because I was birthed to a human mother, I can walk in the sun for short periods of time. Daylight weakens me and drains my powers. And if I’m exposed for any length of time, I — ”
“You what?” My stomach lurched. I didn’t like hearing he had any kind of vulnerabilities. After witnessing his bloodlust earlier, I could only imagine that whatever happened to him if he spent too much time in the sun was monumentally bad.
“My strength fades, my magic along with it. The bloodlust becomes uncontrollable, and with all rational thought and control gone, I become exactly like hideous the monster that created me.” His face contorted with anger and disgust as he spoke. “Should that ever happen, those around me should pray for my swift death. Better I die than take an innocent life in such a savage way.”
I winced. The thought of Xan dying sent my mind reeling. “Is that why you drank from me last night? Bloodlust?” My question lingered for several moments before he finally answered.
He moved with the speed of light, so fast all I saw was a faint blur of movement. Next thing I knew, he stood next to me, his eyes burning into my flesh with a paralyzing intensity. He placed his palms on either side of my face, cradling my head. Then, he leaned down and — oh, my God — every molecule in my body wanted to cry out in pleasure. Pretty Boy gently traced the line of my neck with his lips while breathing in my scent.
My body trembled at his touch. Why? Why did he have to have such an effect on me? He was so close, his presence so powerful — my head spun.
“Jasmine,” he said with a groan. “So delicious. Your scent calls to me, yes, but that’s not why I drank from you. It’s rare for me to drink directly from humans now that there are other sources.”
My eyes darted over to the trash where the now empty blood bags lay discarded. So he relied on blood banks to feed his liquid diet. I’ll admit I felt a bit relieved to hear he wasn’t using live donors to get his liquid fix, but what then was his reason for feeding from me?
I stepped back and pegged him with a hard stare. “So what was this all about?” I said, pointing to the two puncture marks on my neck.
He swept my hair behind my shoulder and leaned forward once again. Those beautiful brown eyes of his eyes were full of hunger and need. Drawing out the moment as long as he could, he slowly placed a gentle kiss atop the very place he’d marked me. Warm, delicious heat engulfed me the moment his lips grazed my flesh, and was replaced with a terrible sense of loss when he moved back to meet my eyes.
“With your blood in me, I can find you anywhere. If you’re taken, I’ll be able to locate you, no matter how far the distance. I’ll also be tied to you psychically. Should something happen, all you need to do is focus on me. I’ll hear you and come running.” He paused for a moment, then pulled me to him possessively, crushing me against his rock hard chest. “I will not lose you.” A low growl rumbled through his chest, and he held me against him with an intensity that threatened to shatter me.
Still raw from his earlier rejection, his close proximity threatened to pull me under. I wanted nothing more than to be close to him, to bask in the comfort and safety his arms provided. But, at the same time, I knew he was only doing what was required of him. He was simply fulfilling
a promise made to my great-grandmother, and I’d be foolish to get my hopes up, foolish to think his embrace meant anything more.
“Stop. Please. Just…stop.” I pushed against his chest in quiet desperation, trying to step back. I couldn’t deal with him being so close, knowing he didn’t share my feelings. Hell, I didn’t even know what my feelings for him were. I just knew that whatever was between us was intense, passionate, and unlike anything I’d ever felt before.
Xan refused to relinquish his hold on me, the heat of his stare almost too much to bear. “No.”
His refusal was my undoing. I thrashed beneath his grip and shook my head violently. “Let go. I can’t…I can’t deal. It’s cruel what you’re doing to me.”
He lowered his arms, releasing me from the sweet torture of his embrace and stepped back. “Cruel? My protecting you is cruel?”
My hands shot up, grabbing large chunks of my hair as I shook my head in frustration. “No, no, no…not protecting me.” I threw my arms down to my sides. “Just…never mind.” I didn’t have the heart to explain that one look from him could melt me, that just standing in his presence sent my heart flying. And his touch! How do you tell someone that doesn’t see you as anything more than a job that their touch sends your blood boiling and fills you with a longing so intense you think you might burst? You don’t. I kept my mouth shut and turned to walk away.
I didn’t get far. Xan magically appeared in front of me, grabbing onto my shoulders, blocking my escape. His face was twisted with frustration, the smooth skin on his forehead creased. “Talk to me, carino. Don’t run from me.”
I stared at him open-mouthed for a moment, choking on my response. I held my hand out toward him, palm up and shaking. “This situation is humiliating. I shouldn’t feel the way I do. I don’t know you, and you don’t know me.” My hand dropped to my side, and I shook my head. “I think I’ve lost my mind. Being around you just…hurts.”