Her Mistaken Dream

by Brenda Barrett

  Chapter Thirteen

  Caitlin, Nick and Brigid traveled in the hills toward Magnolia House and finally stopped in a community near the town of Papine to see Miss Judd. She was a battleaxe of a woman who had strong, heavy features and a laugh that rumbled along the folds of flesh on her belly.

  They heard the laugh before they saw her. She was sitting in a board shop. The place was barely large enough to hold Caitlin, Nick and Brigid plus Miss Judd's lone customer, an old man who smelled like tobacco and rum.

  He excused himself when they entered the shop, and Miss Judd looked at them suspiciously.

  "You are a Benedict," she said to Nick. "You guys are very easy to spot. What can I do you for?"

  "Well," Nick said, "I know that you used to work for my Aunt Helen."

  "Yes. Very nice lady," Miss Judd said. "And in my humble opinion she could have done without all of the nonsense that the doctors gave her for her mental condition. I was on the verge of curing her when they medicated her again."

  "Excuse me?" Nick said, looking a little confused.

  "I am an herbalist," Miss Judd said stoutly. "And I know my herbs."

  "Oh well, yes. I want to ask you something about when you lived with my aunt. Was she ever pregnant?"

  Miss Judd literally froze up. Her eyes skittered away from Nick’s and she looked down at her hand.

  "Miss Judd?" Nick prompted the guilty-looking woman.

  Alarm bells were going off in Caitlin's head. So it had happened. Why else would the lady act as if she had been caught with her hand in the cookie jar?

  "Who was the big dark guy that she had a relationship with?" Caitlin asked in the heavy silence.

  Miss Judd sighed and then looked up at them. "This has been on my mind for years."

  She stood up and leaned over the counter, her broad face shining with sweat. "His name was Silas. He was my son. I have five of them. I got him a job with Miss Helen and it seems as if they fell in love. I warned him not to get mixed up with the Benedicts. I told him that nothing good would come of it.

  "Besides, Miss Helen was not too right in the head. Every time I made progress, old Mr. Benedict would carry her to his fancy doctors to mess her up. Anyway, Helen knows her own mind and she knew that she wanted Silas. And he loved her. I tried to stop them but they were adults."

  "What happened to the baby?" Nick asked.

  "The baby was born dead." Miss Judd looked away shiftily when she said it. "Silas died a couple months before and Miss Helen was grieving."

  "A tree fell on him?" Brigid asked softly.

  "Yes, yes," Miss Judd nodded, "and Miss Helen was inconsolable. It got so bad that I actually thought of calling the fancy doctor who would visit her but I didn't want old man Benedict to know that she was pregnant with my son's baby. I was supposed to be watching out for her and I knew he would blame me for it. Besides, I wanted to keep the job. Silas left four other children, you know, plus I had children of my own."

  Nick sighed. "Are you sure that the baby was dead?"

  "Yes." Miss Judd nodded but she still couldn't meet their eyes. "Miss Edna, the district midwife, came by…did the delivery. She said the baby was dead. She did me a favor and buried it. Kept it off the records, you know. Miss Helen probably doesn't even remember the whole thing anyway. She was barely lucid when she was pregnant. It worked out best for everybody."

  Nick nodded. "I wouldn't say that. Thank you, Miss Judd."

  "No problem," Miss Judd said, nodding. "Could you please not tell your grandfather? I would prefer if we left the past in the past. It was a terrible time for all of us."

  Nick didn't say a word. He walked out of the shop and to the car, with Brigid and Caitlin walking behind him.

  "She is lying," Caitlin said to Nick when she sat in the car. "That baby was alive."

  "Maybe they killed it," Brigid whispered. "You heard Miss Judd. She was more interested in covering up the fact that her son was having a relationship with Helen than anything else, and she sounded happy that the baby was dead so that she could keep her paycheck."

  Nick tapped his hand on the steering wheel. "This stinks to high heaven. I feel upset on behalf of my aunt. I am going to confront my grandparents about this. Obviously, this whole thing has been eating away at Aunt Helen for years while we cluelessly shoved pills down her throat."

  Caitlin sighed. "I guess I shouldn't bother with the piece on her then?"

  "Do a fluff piece," Brigid said. "Feature her paintings; mention that she is not mentally well but don't dwell on it."

  "Or we could find her missing child and make the story that much richer," Caitlin said thinking of the headline. Helen Benedict reunited with her daughter or son after twenty-two years.

  "We'll see," said Nick. "I am going to get to the bottom of this if it's the last thing I do."

  *****

  "How are you coming on with the Todd Taylor story?" Howard asked her from the doorway.

  It was exactly a week and a half since their first publication was released and it had been doing well so far. That was encouraging; the other feature editors at Lux were saying hello to her in friendly tones. Howard was prone to come to her office door and say something or the other to her these days.

  She was enjoying the attention and the silent and sometimes exuberant kudos but she was worrying that their sophomore effort would not be as good.

  She was still trying to write a feature piece on Thomas Kellier that didn't reflect the dislike she had for him. In her first effort with Casey it had been a breeze. This current article was taking her too long to write. Thomas had been insufferable for the interview. Between his flirting and his boasting, she had barely gotten enough info to write a sympathetic piece.

  She had just finished a halfhearted two thousand word article on him and she was almost sure that Howard would send it back to her when she sent it off to him.

  She looked up from her computer and saw that Howard was smiling at her. He was in a tux, his tie hanging loosely around his neck; his thick midsection was actually looking slimmer.

  "You clean up well," Caitlin said in a friendly tone, side-stepping his question about Todd.

  "Private Sector Organization dinner," Howard replied cheerfully. "It is a necessary networking dinner."

  "Oh." Caitlin grinned. "You look like you are ready to go at them."

  "Thanks," Howard said gruffly. "I wanted to impress Grace Garvey from Garvey Associates, our main advertising firm. She loves a man in tux."

  Caitlin grinned. "Well, good luck."

  "Want to come?" Howard asked. "I know that Mr. Taylor will be there. Maybe you can get to hang with him a bit. I am concerned about your article on him."

  Caitlin wanted to eagerly jump up and say yes. The truth was she had been yearning to see Todd again, hear his voice, watch him as his face lit up when he was making a point.

  She was Todd-starved. But she was into self-preservation. She needed to spend time away from Todd. It was easier on her psyche and emotions.

  "I have to feature Thomas Kellier and Helen Benedict before featuring him." Caitlin cleared her throat when she saw the cloud of disapproval descending on Howard's face and then he looked on his watch. "The dinner starts at seven. You have one hour to go home and get ready. It's a black tie affair so wear something formal. You can meet me back here."

  "But Howard," Caitlin said, exasperation creeping into her voice, "you can't order me to go to a dinner where I might not even get the chance to talk to Mr. Taylor!"

  "Well, even if you don't see Mr. Taylor, consider this your present for actually getting an issue out on time and making a successful debut…Hour and a half." He shook his finger at her. "Be here!"

  Caitlin shut down her laptop and rubbed her temples. Who was she kidding? Though she was conflicted about Todd, it would be nice to see him. More than nice. Nice seemed like such a tepid word to use.

  The place was buzzing when Caitlin got there with Howard. She had a tiger-print bag and had worn her littl
e black dress and shoes to match her ensemble. She was feeling pretty confident when she stepped into the ballroom of the Courtleigh Hotel.

  Howard had stuck by her side for exactly one minute. He had spotted a potential advertiser and then he was gone. She looked around the buzzing crowd and suddenly felt out of place. She saw several persons whom she had seen on television or read about in the papers but there was no one she could talk to.

  No passing acquaintance. And then she walked farther into the room and saw a few of the Benedicts and Senator Lawson, Luca's father, who warmly greeted her, and they chitchatted for a while.

  She knew the instant that Todd Taylor entered the room. She could sense him. She waited a beat to turn around and confirm her suspicions. When she did so her eyes met his. He had been staring at her.

  She gave him a half smile. He didn't respond; he just kept staring. He looked devastatingly handsome. She drank him in. He was in a light gray suit and his face was freshly shaven. She couldn't read the expression in his eyes, though, as he steadily held hers.

  A lady came to his side and whispered something to him and he merely bent down to her level and listened to what she had to say and then straightened up; all the while his gaze pinned Caitlin to the floor, while she helplessly returned his regard.

  The lady, realizing that she didn't have his attention, looked around and then saw Caitlin.

  Todd was the one who chose to break the little frozen tableau. He walked toward Caitlin with the lady in tow.

  Caitlin drew in a shaky breath while they advanced toward her. Her brain kept screaming, Moral Dilemma approaching. She fought down the urge to giggle at her thoughts and wished that her lips didn't have that tremor when she smiled.

  "Caitlin." Todd greeted her smoothly. "How have you been?"

  "Good." Caitlin cleared her throat. "And you?"

  "Not so good." Todd looked at her intently. "Bob beat me at tennis three evenings in a row. Seems as if I lost my mojo."

  Caitlin smiled. "Now that's really bad."

  Todd turned to the lady beside him, who looked like she was chomping at the bit to be introduced.

  She was petite and toned, like somebody who exercised regularly. She had long hair which was pulled to one side in a ponytail and smooth, flawless light brown skin.

  If Caitlin were to guess her age she would say that she was in her thirties. Maybe late thirties.

  "This is my secretary Marlene. Marlene, this is Caitlin."

  Marlene offered her hand and Caitlin took it.

  "Oh Caitlin," Marlene said chirpily. "It's nice to meet you."

  The smile didn't reach her eyes though; Caitlin could see that. She could also sense a faint hostility from her. What was it with the women who worked for Todd? Deb had the same sneer, and now Marlene.

  Caitlin dragged her eyes away from Marlene and looked at Todd. He was regarding her with a faint frown between his eyes, as if he was thinking about something and not sure what to make of it.

  "I missed you," he said raggedly.

  Caitlin's lips trembled. She missed him too but she wouldn't dare say it out loud. She needed to be strong for this, goodbye should be goodbye.

  She dragged her eyes from Todd's when she heard Marlene gasp.

  "Well, er... excuse me," Marlene said, looking between the two of them. "I see Mr. Hendrix over there. I must say hello."

  She walked away with her back held ramrod straight.

  Caitlin was left with Todd. "I missed you too, to be honest."

  Todd smiled. "You have really grown on me, Caity."

  Caitlin's eyes slipped from his nervously. "But we...you...I can't do this."

  Todd placed a finger on her lips and then leaned in closer to her. "Want to go somewhere quieter where we can talk?"

  Caitlin looked around for Howard. She was sure he wouldn't miss her but she tried to find him anyway.

  He was in the corner, holding court with a group of people. She waved to him and he looked up, saw that she was with Todd, and nodded happily.

  Todd held out his hand and she took it, her fingers twitching as they connected with his warm skin. What was she doing?

  Chapter Fourteen

  "Hungry?" Todd asked when Caitlin sat in his car with him.

  "No, not really," Caitlin said. "Todd, listen. I know I have that article to write about you in November."

  "But you don't want to do it?" Todd said on a sigh. "Because of what I told you?"

  "Yes," Caitlin said. "I just can't get over it. I mean... I just can't."

  "I understand," Todd said. "I get it. You are afraid of me. You think that I am a monster. God, Caity. For the first time in my life I feel..." He clutched the steering wheel and then relaxed his shoulders, breathing out on a sigh.

  "I can't say that I didn't do it. I have been torturing myself for years with the lack of memory. All I can say is I don't think I could have done it. No matter how bad Rita had gotten, the thought had never crossed my mind to murder her."

  "Maybe you snapped," Caitlin said. "Maybe you wanted out."

  Todd laughed harshly and then looked at her. "Divorce is much cheaper and less problematic than murder. I am not the type to snap. I hadn't snapped before and I haven't snapped after. "

  He touched her cheek, rubbing his thumb along her silky skin. Then he expelled a sigh of regret and moved his hand to her naturally pink lips. She fought the urge to lick them.

  "I am too old for you," he murmured. "You are too young, too lovely, too inexperienced for me anyway but..."

  Caitlin swallowed. The slow moving of his thumb on her lips was making her achingly aware of every breath she took.

  She gulped in large whiffs of his perfume. It was that scent again. She was on the verge of hyperventilating. She could barely get in enough air to breathe.

  He was looking at her so intently she felt almost mesmerized in his gaze.

  "I knew your parents. I am a good decade and a half older than you. I have a ton of baggage but I can't help feeling like this about you. It's like this was meant to be."

  He leaned closer to her.

  They were breathing in the same air together. If she leaned toward him just a fraction her nose would be touching his—any closer, her lips.

  "Don't give up on me, Caity," Todd whispered. "At least do the article."

  Caitlin tried and failed to swallow. Todd was so close that breathing was no longer an option.

  She focused on his wide, sensual mouth and the tip of her tongue snaked out to moisten her dry lower lip.

  This was like a scene out of one of her dreams, one she had not even written down for fear that her sisters would see that she dreamt these kind of things. She was the sensible one, the Christian one, she shouldn't be feeling like this, so heated and feverish at the same time.

  The particular scene held a sense of déjà vu. It was running exactly like she dreamt. This very scene. What was real and what was a dream was melding in her head.

  Don’t give up on me, Caity kept ringing in her ears and he was so near that she felt desperate, so shamelessly eager to feel his mouth on hers. The craving was almost unbearably strong.

  "You have nothing to fear from me, Caity," he whispered.

  Please, please, kiss me, I don't care was running through her mind. Just this once. Like the last time.

  A knock on the window had her jerking back away from him as if stung. Todd straightened up and looked through the window. It was Marlene.

  "Sorry to disturb you, Todd. Oops, didn't see that you have company." She had on a singsong voice that rang insincerely.

  She glanced over at Caitlin. "Oh, hi Caitlin." She then looked back at Todd. "I was looking around for you and didn't see you. Remember, I came with you. I have a little emergency at home. Can you drop me back at the office for my car?"

  "Sure," Todd said gruffly. The moment was lost. Maybe it was for the best. He had been on the verge of kissing Caitlin and though he was feeling noble and mature he didn't feel as if he could stop a
t just one kiss. He had pent-up deep-seated feelings for her that had been festering for years.

  Not seeing her for the past two weeks and telling himself that it was all for the best and that he would leave her alone and stay out of her life had not worked.

  He was in very deep with this woman and he had no idea how he was going to be noble and let her go. He knew his past scared her. He knew he wasn't right for her. He knew all of these things, yet he felt as if he had never felt love until he met her. Well, got to know her. It was as he had suspected; she had a weird effect on him.

  He waited until Marlene got into the car and started up a stream of chatter that he barely grunted responses to.

  "So, what do you do, Caitlin?" Marlene asked Caitlin in a high, insincere tone that was grating on her nerves.

  "I am a journalist," Caitlin responded. "Feature editor for Lux Women."

  "Ah," Marlene said excitedly. "You are the reason that Todd went to Luca Lawson's wedding! It looked like a lovely wedding. I knew that I recognized you from somewhere. You were one of the bridesmaids."

  "Yes," Caitlin said abruptly.

  Marlene was seemingly oblivious to the air in the car, or she didn't care, because she continued blithely, "I liked the dresses. Where were they from? A local bridal store?"

  "Yes," Caitlin nodded. "Sophia's Bridal."

  "Yup. That is where I am going to get my dresses when I tie the knot," Marlene said chirpily.

  "You are getting married?" Caitlin asked, turning around and looking into Marlene's face.

  "Yes," Marlene nodded. "Later this year. December, before my thirty-fifth birthday. After that I am going to try for the baby. Time is running out."

  Todd snorted. "You have been saying that for ages, Mar."

  "Well, it will be happening this year," Marlene said sweetly, "and nobody or nothing is going to stop it from happening this time around."

  "Congratulations," Caitlin said, partly in relief. She had thought that Marlene had been a shade hostile earlier but now she had made a 360-degree turn.