Falling In Between

by Devon Ashley

  “Yeah, sure.” He leaned over and pressed his cool lips to mine, but surprisingly, his kiss warmed me a little. “See you after school?”

  “I’ll be there with bells on.” I could already sense the follow-up answer and I cut him off with, “Don’t even go wherever your mind was taking that.”

  He laughed. I gave him one last peck on the lips and rushed to the warmth of the facility. Robert followed a few seconds later, and when I didn’t see Ms. Newell anywhere, I gave him a friendly wave good-bye.

  I took the hall to the left, towards the coaches’ offices so Ms. Newell could exact her horrible version of punishment.

  Ninety minutes later my hands were dried out from the alcohol-soaked rags and my brain was fried from the fumes coming off of them. I had no idea I should’ve asked for cleaning gloves, and once I did figure it out I couldn’t find Ms. Newell to get a pair.

  And can I just say that boys are disgusting? Really, really disgusting.

  Sure, girls used the weight room too, and I’m sure a few of them contributed to the nasty, sticky mess. Robert probably did too. But let’s be honest. It’s mostly the boys.

  When I was done, I stopped in the lobby on the way out. The more athletic students were already trickling in, as most of the team sports began practice before first period so they had time to practice and clean up for the day. Two girls in volleyball uniforms were gawking in front of the large window that looked into the swimming pool. Quite a few swimmers were moving around on deck, taking their turn on the starting blocks to sprint down the pool.

  I passed the girls and stopped a few feet away. I was immediately spotted by Jhett, who waved at me from his lane. I smiled and leaned against the window, but my attention was drawn to the two volleyball girls.

  “God, Jenna. You smell like chemicals,” said the girl nearest me. Her name was Marie and we had third period English together. Her hand was under her nose, like she was trying to block the alcohol scent that reeked on my skin. The girl beside her was Anne, and she seemed to find my smell amusing – or perhaps it was the lovely bed hair I had going on.

  “Yeah, sorry. I guess I’m lucky Ms. Newell didn’t have me cleaning with bleach all morning, huh?”

  I jumped when someone hit the glass on the opposite side of me. My bug eyes receded when I realized the dripping wet guy with red goggles on his forehead was Robert, and my smile grew to match his. I couldn’t help but scan down – he was right; the Speedo left little to the imagination. He smacked the glass again and I jumped…again. Two of his fingers almost poked his eyes out, then he pointed at me as if to say ‘I’m watching you’, or ‘keep your eyes up here’. Not really sure which he was going for. I held my hands up in surrender, and I’m sure I blushed when I mouthed ‘what?’ and pretended I hadn’t done anything wrong.

  It’s not like I hadn’t seen his package before. Hell, my lips were more familiar with it than my eyes were.

  He cocked his eyebrows at me and let his hand trace the window as he walked away. I couldn’t help but notice he was bulkier than the other male swimmers, like he should have been on the wrestling team instead. When he was out of view, I turned to leave, leaving the other two girls to continue gawking.

  I barely had time to shower before class and no matter how hard I scrubbed myself down with the loofah and berry wash, I just felt icky all day.

  By late afternoon, Robert’s energy drink had long worn off, I was cranky and my muscles were all achy. Sophie left to meet Jhett downstairs but I lagged behind and did a face-plant on my bed. A few minutes later there was a knock at my door. No doubt Robert, since he would’ve gone downstairs to meet me too.

  Luckily, Sophie hadn’t bothered to lock the door on her way out. I called out for him to come in, but it was a little muffled since my face was practically being suffocated by my pillow. The door locked behind him and I heard his soft footsteps approach my bed. I opened my eyes in time to see him crouch down beside my face.

  “Hey,” I mumbled grumpily.

  He gave me a few weak chuckles and tucked some stray strands of hair out of my face. “Long day?”

  “How the hell do you do this every day? I have been nothing but an achy, cranky bitch all day.”

  “You get used to it. I can’t remember a time when I didn’t have a 5:45 practice to get up for.”

  My lips vibrated when a puff of air burst through them. “Well, if you ever need to go to bed earlier, just tell me. Believe me, I’ll understand.”

  “So why are you achy?”

  “I think it was from all that mopping. Do you have any idea what a pain it is to get that mop around all the crazy legs of fifty pieces of equipment? My neck and shoulders are killing me.” Ugh…maybe I should add whiney to the list.

  He gently stroked my head. “I can rub you down if you like. You’ll probably fall asleep within a few minutes.”

  I debated as well as my mind would allow me to – it was quite foggy at the moment. I was pretty sure I was gonna fall asleep soon anyways, but having Robert’s hands stroke and rub me down, now that sounded dreamy.

  “Alright.” I pushed myself up onto my knees and quickly pulled my shirt up. When it had cleared my head, I got a glimpse of Robert and the shock on his face. Apparently, when you are utterly exhausted and about to pass out, you really don’t have the brain power to give a crap about any insecurities you have. And though his face was comical to watch when I removed my shirt, it was nothing like the way his jaw dropped as I unclasped my bra, removed it and handed it to him before I collapsed back onto my stomach again.

  Since he was having trouble processing the unexpected peep show, I told him, “Ground rules. You can massage all you want, but I’m not rolling over and both our bottoms are staying on, so we’re clearly not having sex.”

  It took him a minute for him to laugh off what just happened, and he continued to finger the light pink bra in his hand. “Any chance you could redo that? I don’t think the playback in my head is remembering that right.” He paused. “But then again, I do seem to have your bra in my hand.”

  I pushed my pillow aside, closed my eyes and sighed, allowing my flattened body to melt into the mattress. “Archive it. It’s not often I’ll be too tired to care if I flash you.”

  He climbed onto the bed and straddled my body. He leaned in and jokingly whispered, “Then I need to find ways to get you back onto the 5:30 detention slot.”

  I smiled but didn’t rebut. I felt him lean back again and his hands began to softly massage the soreness from my shoulders. As his rubs deepened, my muscles began to loosen. He heavily stroked the heels of his hands on either side of my spine, all the way down my exposed back. His hands fanned out, and it tickled when he lightly traced my sides back up with the back of his fingernails. He made several more passes and I found the repetition of it very soothing.

  Eventually, I felt him tug at my side, like he was trying to turn me over. Mumbling, I reminded him, “I’m not turning over.”

  “Why not?”

  My eyes shot wide open. That wasn’t Robert. I turned my head and where Robert sat before, Chance sat now. I groaned and dropped my head again. “I am so not having sex with you tonight. The only thing we’re doing in this bed tonight is sleeping.”

  He didn’t answer with words, but his lips picked up where Robert’s hands left off.

  “I’m serious, Chance. You can kiss all you want, but you’re not getting anything in return.”

  He chuckled. “Alright.”

  He resumed the kisses anyway, and the deeper ones on my neck were moan worthy. At some point, I actually fell asleep in my dream. I didn’t really know you could do that. I must have been incredibly tired cause the rest of my slumber was dreamless.

  As I began to stir and come to life, it was like I could still feel hands gently rubbing my backside. Only, there was something rubbing my backside!

  The room was pitch black, sans the slight glow of the clock. I could tell I was in my dorm bed and that my naked topside
was plastered on Robert’s naked topside, and one of my blankets were casually thrown over us. I rolled my head backwards and saw that the clock said 5:15. I rolled my head back and caught the glint that sparkled off Robert’s eye.

  He kissed my forehead and quietly said, “Good morning.”

  The smoothness of his voice and the softness of his kiss made my lips curve, but my insides were twisting and panicking over the realization that I was topless at a time when I didn’t mean to be. I eliminated any remaining distance between our chests, and I thought for sure he’d think I was just trying to snuggle in, but Robert clearly understood my anxieties.

  “I promise I can barely see you. And when I woke up a few minutes ago, you were just as you are now. You must have rolled into me some time during the night.”

  “Why are you in my bed?” I didn’t mean for it to sound as accusing as it came off.

  “I went back to my room last night after you fell asleep, but Jhett and Sophie wanted to be alone for awhile. So I came back. But Newell was patrolling the halls again last night. I had just made it to the common room when I saw her come down the stairs, so to be honest, I don’t think Sophie’s in that bed over there. If she is, she didn’t wake me.”

  “So Sophie knew about Ms. Newell?”

  “Yeah, I texted Jhett last night, and if you’ll let me reach over you, I can see if he texted back.”

  He twisted and our bodies rolled as he reached over to my bedside table and grabbed the phone. Our corner of the room lit up and blinded us, and I buried my eyes into his chest.

  “Yeah,” he said, and the room went dark again, “she stayed there to keep from getting caught.” He huffed and added, “I don’t think any of us want to be the one to de-clog the shower drains.”

  Now that the spots had faded from my eyes, I tilted my head so I could see his face better. I reached out and stroked the side of his face, and the faintest glow of the clock illuminated his smile.

  “You know you don’t have to be shy in front of me, right?”

  Damn! Right back to my insecurities!

  “I’m sorry,” I said. “Your modesty may have jumped ship, but mine is still cowering on the edge of the plank.”

  His hand returned to fingering my back.

  “So,” he said quietly, “you did your little cliff splat around Labor Day, so that means we started dating around mid-September, right?”

  “Yeah.” I wasn’t sure where this was going with this.

  “Thanksgiving is two days away, so that means we’ve been dating about ten, eleven weeks?”

  “Okay. What’s your point?”

  “It’s just, after ten weeks, I’m a little surprised you’re afraid of my touch. Especially since we’re together every day after school for about six hours and all day on weekends.”

  I swallowed, and my voice got quieter. “It’s nothing personal. It’s not like I wanna be scared. It’s just…I don’t know.”

  He chuckled. “You weren’t scared to flash me last night.”

  I groaned, and even though it was practically dark, I covered my eyes with my hand. “I did do that, didn’t I? God.”

  He pried my hand off my face and tilted my chin up so our eyes could meet. “Trust me, as a man that has both seen and felt your breasts, you have nothing to be ashamed of. You’re beautiful.”

  He kissed me, and I felt my insides melt a little as the arm wrapped behind me brought me closer. My insides basically turned to goo and every muscle in my body relaxed. After a few minutes, he rolled on top of me and began biting my neck with deep kisses – and all those muscles that had relaxed began to tighten again.

  I extended my neck sideways to give him better access, and as I opened my eyes, I saw that the clock read 5:30. I moaned my disapproval. Robert could tell it wasn’t the normal moan of pleasure he heard during our make out sessions, and his head lifted with curiosity.

  “What?”

  I reached out and caressed his face. I didn’t want this to end. Nudity be damned.

  “It’s time for you to go to practice.”

  “Oh?” he asked teasingly. “And my leaving would disappoint you in this moment?”

  He nibbled my ear and an involuntary moan escaped my lips. His hand released its hold on the opposite side of my neck and slowly traveled south. When I realized he was just inches from a certain naked spot, I gasped. He momentarily paused and held his head above mine, assessing my expression as his hand started to trail gently down again. It felt like an explosion went off below my belly button and my lungs suddenly felt the need to take several quick, deep breaths. But since I never contested anything he was doing, his lips leaned in to brush mine the same time his hand began to caress my breast.

  Unrelenting moans screamed to get out the next few minutes, but they were muffled while his mouth was over mine. He brought his hand back up and lined both hands on the mattress outside my shoulders. When his lips released mine, they curled into a delicious grin, completely amused over how lousy I was at containing my pleasure.

  He kept his eyes locked on mine as he pulled away from me, waiting to see me gasp at the precise moment I realized what he was doing. I didn’t disappoint, and my chest fully expanded the moment his mouth took over for his hand.

  Lord, if I thought my moans were embarrassing before, the ones that came out of me now were utterly horrifying. I now understood what he was feeling the first time I touched him below the belt and why his groans never ceased.

  After a few minutes, I practically had my legs wrapped high around his back. His hands had moved down to aid his mouth and stroke my skin. The clock now said 5:40 and another disapproving groan came out of me. He saw what I was looking at and climbed his way back up my body.

  “Quit doing that.” He gently kissed my neck again and his lower body weight pressed into me.

  “I’m sorry.” I reached out and fingered what was left of his hair. Turns out I was just as guilty when it came to pulling the other’s hair out while being pleasured. At least we’ll have matching checkerboard scalps. “I just hate that this has to end.”

  “Who says it does?”

  “What are you gonna do, skip practice?” Uh, actually, that would be awesome! My insides were all tingly and I never wanted this feeling of ecstasy to end.

  His breath tickled my ear. “We have the rest of the week off for the holiday.”

  “What?!” I thrust my hands against his chest and his spine curved backwards. He couldn’t stay here and keep making me feel this! I had zero self-control! I grunted my anger at him as I held him off me. “I can’t believe you didn’t tell me!”

  “Let me ask you this. Did you only let me do that because you thought I would have to leave as soon as I started? Then perhaps you could use it against me when I say you never let me play?”

  Damn. It’s scary how well he understood the workings of my brain.

  Unfortunately, my voice cracked and I extended my answer into several syllables. “Nnnoo-ooo.”

  “Mmm-hmm.” He pulled my arms down and I released the tension in my neck. He brought his face down to mine and the clock illuminated his features. “Does it scare you that we have an hour and a half until we absolutely need to get out of this bed and go to class?”

  I bit my lower lip a little. An hour and a half? So many things could happen in that time frame and with the way he’d already aroused me in ten little minutes, I was absolutely freaking out about what he could convince me to do by morning.

  “Yes.”

  “Alright. Would you relax more if I told you I have no intention of taking you any further than we’ve already gone?”

  “Promise?”

  “Promise. No more of your clothes are coming off and I promise to stay north of the equator.”

  My body relaxed upon hearing that and my hand reached up to rub his face again. Wait…Suspiciously, I mentioned, “I couldn’t help but notice the part of your sentence that said no more of my clothes are coming off, and the part that said that you
would stay north of the equator.”

  He huffed. “I did say that, didn’t I?”

  “Mmm-hmm.”

  “Completely subconscious.”

  I might’ve believed him – if his poker face hadn’t broken. Once it did, he buried his face in my neck and I heard him beg, “Please?”

  I rolled my eyes playfully in the dark and began scratching the back of his head. “You have a serious problem, you know that?”

  His head bobbed up and down as he found that humorous. When he came back out he said, “I’m sorry, but your moans really turn me on.”

  “Mmm-hmm. And it had nothing to do with what your mouth was doing the last ten minutes?”

  His lips just kept on spreading. “Just a coincidence.”

  That was a loooong, pleasurable morning, but I told Robert straight up it wasn’t gonna happen that often. Obviously, I had no self-control once he started working my body. The moment he lost his, not even my fear of nakedness was gonna stop us from having sex. And clearly, I just wasn’t ready for that. But I think Robert recognized that I was one of those people that just had to be broken in slowly, cause he seemed to know the precise moment to strike to get me to take the next step forward.

  Unless you’re in my dreams. Lord, it’s embarrassing what I allowed Chance to do to me in those dreams. I’m not certain, but I’m pretty sure it’s cause I didn’t feel any fear in there. No fear equals complete submission to my desires.

  Thanksgiving came and I filled my days at the bookstore. God, I loved it there. Don’t ask me why; I just loved books. And working there never seemed like working.

  Obviously, I didn’t have to work Thursday, and the public buses didn’t run, so I was stuck at an empty school. Luckily, there was always one teacher that stayed on campus for the few students that didn’t leave, so I didn’t have to go stay at a group home (I would’ve definitely taken up Sophie on her offer if I had to stay there).

  Mr. Ellis, who taught Chem classes, went into Rutland and brought back a pre-made Thanksgiving Day meal that we only had to heat up in the kitchen. It wasn’t even close to the spread I remembered at Sophie’s last year, but it was a hell of lot better than the ramen noodles I had sitting in my cubby back at the dorm. I didn’t know any of the other four students that stayed cause they were all younger than me, but we had fun playing crappy board games after dinner nonetheless.