You Can Always Go Home

by Rogers, Desiree

  Watching as they emptied the room, she waited until the door closed, before turning back to gaze at him. He was pale, his arm in a sling, tubes running from his hand to a machine next to his bed. She wanted to lie down next to him, wrap him in her arms and never let go, but they had to get through a few things first. She took a deep breath, moving closer to his bed. Those eyes followed her, aloof and closed to her. A loud swallow; for the first time, she wondered if she were too late.

  “How are you?” inwardly, she winced. That was a ridiculous question.

  Luc shrugged, but she could that it had hurt him to do it. “The doctors got the bullet out. There wasn’t much damage.”

  “Oh, that’s good.” Alexina stood by his bed and tried to hold his hand, but he pulled it away, eyes looking straight through her. Gnawing her bottom lip, she backed away a step.

  “They think a few weeks of physical therapy and I’ll be good as new.” He didn’t smile, just stared at her, as if he were waiting for her to leave.

  “I'm sorry I got you into this...mess.” She was faltering. She’d been so sure earlier that he was still going to be there for her, but now with the way his eyes seemed frosty and angry, she wasn’t so sure.

  A thin smile spread across Luc’s face and just as quickly, it was gone. “Hey, it’s fine. No real harm done.”

  She twisted her hands together, screwing up her nerve. “Luc, I wanted to talk about what happened at the cabin...before...before everything went wrong.”

  This time his eyes did focus on her and for a moment so brief she nearly missed it, a hurt and love flashed in his eyes. “You know, I was thinking of that too.”

  “Oh?” Maybe things were as bleak as she was starting to think. A tentative smile and she took a step back towards him.

  “Yeah. I think this...thing between us has run its course, don’t you?” He looked her straight in her eyes, daring her to say something different.

  Shocked and wounded, she could only stare at him open-mouthed, trying to wrap her brain around what he’d just said. This was not happening. “I don’t understand.” She squeezed out the words. A hand pressed to her mid-section, something threatened to come up. Body trembling, she tried to take a breath but found it difficult with the way her heart was in her throat.

  “It’s obvious that you don’t have the same feelings for me that I do for you and I can’t...do this.” He made a vague gesture between them, as if it were a business deal gone wrong and nothing more.

  Stop, start, stop, start. Alexina’s heart did sickening dance that left her breathless. “But-” Why was he doing this now? Just a minute, just one damn minute to get out what she had to say and maybe he would change his mind.

  “I can’t make you care for me and you’re too comfortable with the past and all its guilt. So don’t worry about it okay?” there was nothing on his face to give her any kind of hint of how he was feeling. No chink in that armor of his to get through and get to his heart.

  Nearly stamping her foot, her eyes burned with unshed tears. “That’s not how it is!” she burst out, fingers digging in her palms. No, no, no, this was not right.

  One of the nurses, clipboard in hand came in, manner brusque. “Ma’am, it’s time for him to rest. I'm going to have to ask you to leave.”

  Mouth set in a thin line, she wanted to argue, scream, cry; anything to get this to stop, but the look of Luc’s face let her know he didn’t want her there. Turning, she hurried out the room, her vision blurred as the tears threatened to fall.

  Mind numb, she wandered down the hall, trying to figure out what to do now. Turning a corner, she stopped short, the sight of her father and Sharise looking around bewildered and frantic, freezing her in her tracks. Worried brown eyes turned to her, relief flooding his strained face. He rushed over to her, Sharise close on his heels, enfolding her in his large arms, cradling her close the way he used to.

  “How?” but she knew, as soon a she asked the question, she knew who had told him where to find her.

  “Luciano called us.” Pulling back, he peered at her, large, warm hands on either side of her face. All the love and concern her father felt for her, she could see in his face and it only hurt more. “Are you okay?” his voice was hoarse, as if he’d been crying.

  Looking at his eyes, she could see the redness and suddenly she knew that he had been. Control gone and heartbroken, the tears she’d been holding back broke through. “Daddy...” sobbing, she fell into his arms, face nestled deep into his chest as he enfolded her into his tight embrace. Years, that’s how long it had been since she’d felt her father’s arms around her, since she’d let him hold her. Now, it was the only safe place she had left.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Two weeks, it had been two weeks since she’d seen Luc. She’d tried calling, but he’d either not gotten her messages or just chosen to ignore her. She figured it was the latter. Running a hand over her abdomen, she sighed, fluffing her hair in her office mirror. Alexina didn’t know how much more of herself she could afford to put out there for him to reject.

  Sorrow and despair swirled up and she had to close her eyes against the constant heartache she felt every time she though of what’s she’d lost. Stupid, stupid, stupid; she should have stayed in his hospital room and forced him to listen to her. It wasn’t as if he could’ve run away from her. A quick laugh at the image of him trying to get out of the hospital bed lightened the mood, but she quickly sobered at the knock on the door.

  “Honey, are you ready? It’s almost time and you already have a line.” Her father called to her from the other side of her office door.

  Another wave of sorrow; she’d invited Luc to come by, but she’d never received a response. Running a nervous hand over her black satin pencil skirt, she straightened her shoulders while tugging on her crisp white button-down shirt and opened the door, a smile plastered on her face. Fake it till you make was fast becoming her mantra.

  Opening the front doors, she let in the small line of woman who were waiting outside, “Hi, welcome to Forever 24.” She greeted them like the hostess of a famous restaurant.

  A thrill running through her, she watched as they began browsing, murmuring among themselves. Her father had offered to run the register and Sharise was helping her out on the floor. She wandered the space, fixing clothes and making sure everyone was satisfied, remembering how the space had looked not so long ago. Gone were the hard cement floor and harsh lighting. Instead, she’d had glamorous multi-tiered art deco chandeliers installed. The floor was now a beautiful dark, almost black hard wood floor, setting off the walls done in a beautiful faux leather finish. Everything was just as she’d dreamed; only...there was no one to share it with.

  It was several hours later, in the midst of a midday crunch that she looked up to see Luc’s mother and sister walk in, smiling and waving at her as she assisted a customer.

  As soon as she was done, she made her way to where they were standing, admiring her display of skirts draped in a calculated fashion over the mannequin’s arms. “Mrs. Klein...How are you?” she brushed a light kiss over the woman’s cheeks, touched that she had come to her opening.

  An impish smile lit her face as she looked around. “I'm fine. You’re store is so lovely. I just want to buy everything.” She laughed, the sound girlish and light. Clasping Alexina’s hand in her own, she pulled her close. “How are you holding up?”

  Giving a quick laugh, she toyed with an errant curl, “Surprisingly well. Getting the store open has kept me busy.” The need to ask about Luc and how he was doing had her knees buckling, blood rushing to her head, but she kept it back.

  Her eyes shifted away, falling on a rack of jeans. “Luc is...okay. The physical therapy is harder than expected. And then...there was Kelsie’s death...and funeral. It hit him more than he thought.”

  Alexina’s heart clenched and shuddered at the thought. She wished she’d been there for him, but he hadn’t called, hadn’t said a word. “Oh, I-”

  “Wh
y haven’t you been to see him?” Sofia stared up at her, brown eyes sharp and reproachful as she waited for an answer.

  Taken back by the question, it took her several tries to answer. “He told me not too.”

  The look she got left her feeling like a child who’d been caught with their hand in the cookie jar, “When has a woman ever listened to the man she loves?” With the gauntlet tossed out, Sophia moved off, leaving her mind reeling.

  ~***~

  With plenty of customers to keep her busy, there was little time to think about Luc or what his mother had said. However, between the morning sickness and nerves, she’d been in bathroom every few minutes, her mind had wandered, thinking about him and what he was doing; if he still thought about her, still loved her.

  By closing time, she was exhausted. The stream of customers had been non-stop and she was running on vapors and sheer will power at this point. Nearly dead on her feet, she brushed off her father’s offer of help.

  “It’s okay dad. I can manage. You and Sharise have been the biggest help.” She kissed her father on the cheek, a happy flutter in her stomach at how easy they were getting along now.

  “If you’re sure...” Her father trailed off, eyes full of concern as he looked her over, fatherly hands tipping her chin up to look him in the eye.

  “Go, have dinner on me.” Laughing, she pushed them towards the door.

  Waving, she closed and locked the door, a wistful smile on her heart as they walked up the sidewalk hand in hand. Maybe she would go see Luc after she was...stopping herself before that thought went any further, she turned away from the window. It didn’t matter what she wanted if he didn’t return her calls. Besides, there was more than just her to think of now.

  Heading over to the cash register, she began counting down the register. Giddy at how much money she’d managed to make the first day and so busy trying to fill out the receipt for the deposit, a knock at door shook her from her thoughts. Looking up sharply, surprise and delight flowed through her at the sight of Luc on the other side, dressed in handsome black suit and his arm in a sling, a bouquet of peonies in hand.

  “Hey, I didn’t expect to see you here.” Breathless and off balance, she let him in, locking the door behind him as he stepped in. Had he gotten all her messages?

  “I drove by earlier, but this place was packed so....” A shrug and he thrust the flowers at her, moving away to stare at a mannequin.

  Alexina moved to the counter, inhaling their sweet scent before setting the flowers down. She turned back to him, heart racing as she thought of all she had to say, noting how rigid his back was.

  “I'm sorry about Kelsie.” That hadn’t been it.

  A mirthless laugh spilled from Luc’s lips, “It was a shock to say the least. I think I’ll be buying a new place.” the fingers on the good hand were clenching and unclenching, his features twisted with grief and anger. All that vanished as he stared at her with hooded eyes. “I just came by to say congratulations.”

  He was going to leave; she could see it in the way he shifted towards the door, face blank. Desperate for just one more chance to tell him how she felt, Alexina slid in front of him, a hand braced on his chest, pulse racing. “Luc, wait. I wanna talk to you.”

  His eyes flared her touch and her name for him, but he hid it quickly. “I'm a little busy-” he tried to step past her, but she followed, frantic to keep him from walking out the door. The look in his eyes, it gave her hope.

  “Please?” licking her dry lips, she gazed up at him, hoping that he could see the pleading in her expression.

  A weary sigh and he stepped away from her touch, still close enough to touch, eyes darting everywhere but never landing on her. “Okay, what’s up?”

  Okay, it was now or never. She had to get this right. Everything was hinging on it. “I want to start with the day at the cabin.”

  His eyes did land on her this time, before bouncing away, a scowl darkening his face.

  “You were right, about some of the things that you said.”

  He only stared back at her, face blank.

  “I do tend to run, expecting everyone to leave me.” A helpless shrug. “It’s just what I know.” Agitated that he wasn’t making this any easier, she ran a hand through her hair, trying to find a way in. Maybe that look had been her imagination.

  “Is that it?” the bored tone of his voice was starting to get to her.

  Fighting off the urge to stick her tongue out at him, she plunged on. “There is one thing you are wrong about though.” self-consciously, a hand settled on her stomach.

  “Oh?” Gray eyes bored into her as they waited for her to finish.

  Her control slipped at the casual tone of his voice. “Why do you have to make this so hard?” taking a deep, calming breath, she tried again. It wouldn’t do to start a fight now, but maybe later, if this didn’t go right. “I do care for you. Always have. But I realize it’s been more than that.”

  “What are you saying?” Eyes narrowed, he waited for her to finish, his big body straining towards her as if waiting for the gun to go off for a race.

  Alexina took a deep breath as if preparing for battle. With her eyes closed, she summoned up every ounce of courage she had left and then opened them again. “I...I love you.”

  The pupils of his eyes went huge, the gray of them nearly black before his free hand shot to the back of her head in a gentle yet firm grip. Pulling her forward, he kissed her fiercely, teeth scraping her bottom lip, a tongue sliding along her own. She whimpered when he stopped. “I want to hear it again.” He demanded hoarsely, his lower body hardening against hers as he rocked against her.

  Relief flooded through her at the hungry look he was giving her, his hand moving to caress her back. This had nearly been lost and if she weren’t so happy at this moment, she could cry from it. Her arms wrapped around his neck, she traced his lips lovingly, heart nearly bursting with happiness. One more surprise. “I'm pregnant too.”

  Luc just stared at her, mouth moving soundlessly and she laughed when she felt his knees buckle. He pulled her tight, his grip only lessening a bit when a protesting squeak slipped out. Burying her hot face in his neck, she inhaled his scent deep, committing it to memory. It felt good to be back in his arms again.

  Leaning back, he stared at her, his expression happy and elated as he rained kisses over her face. “That settles it. We’re getting married.” His mouth moved lower, nuzzling the sensitive spot on her neck.

  “I take it your happy then?” Pulling away, she smirked at him, grinding softly against the hardness in his pants.

  “I’ve waited a very long time to hear those words from you.” Cuddling her close, he rocked her from side to side, his grip gentler now, but still firm as he nuzzled her hair.

  “What, I'm pregnant?” she joked, but she knew what he meant. She’d waited a long time to tell him those three little words too.

  Laughing, he dipped in, nipping at her lip. “No and you know it.”

  Head flopping back, she groaned when his hand slipped under her shirt, a rough thumb flicking over a silk clad nipple. “Oh you mean where I said I love you?” she murmured, sighing as his mouth cruised over her exposed neck.

  “Yeah that. I think we should christen one of your new dressing rooms.” He began tugging her towards the back of the store, his hot mouth still busy on her neck.

  On a breathless laugh, she let him lead her into the darkened back of the store.

  As he pulled her into the dressing room, the door slamming shut behind them, he stopped and stared. He ran a hand over her face softly, reverently and it brought tears to her eyes.

  “What?” she whispered watching him, humbled by the love shining in his eyes.

  He kissed her softly; slow, devouring kisses that made her heart beat faster and pulse quicken. “This feels like home.”

  A slow smile, she drew him close, needing his body against hers. “Don’t you know you can always go home?”

  THE END

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