The Spinster Sisters

by Ballis, Stacey

  My head reels. Two weeks in Tuscany. I’d only been to the region once before, nearly ten years ago, and then only for four days. It was magical. The thought of being able to get away to such a beautiful place is thrilling.

  “But Abbot, you and I have never spent longer than three days together. Are you sure that we should jump to such an extended vacation? And in a foreign country, no less?”

  Abbot looks at me with a very serious air. “Jodi, I’m a very patient man. When you and I first began our relationship nine months ago, you were very open and clear with me about the nature of the relationship, and certainly that matched what I felt able to commit to as well. It has become clear to me over our time together that you and I are very, very good together. You are the first woman since my divorce who has made me believe that it is possible to find someone with potential. Someone that reminds me how wonderful it could be to be seriously committed to one person. But neither one of us will ever know unless we take a step forward. I’m suggesting this trip for a few reasons. First, I think we would have a wonderful time. It’s a beautiful country with much to explore and enjoy. But I also believe that spending that kind of time together would give us both a clear indication whether this is a relationship we would like to pursue in a more serious vein. If we find at the end of the two weeks that we are not compatible in that way, then at least we know that and will have had a great time and wonderful memories.

  “I’m forty-eight years old, Jodi, and for the first time in a decade I see genuine potential in a relationship. And I’m tired of the two of us playing chicken with each other. To see which one is going to broach the idea first. It’s going to be me. You don’t have to decide right now, but I would like you to give some serious consideration to my offer. Come to Italy with me. See how we do, and if it is as wonderful as I genuinely believe it will be, then I would like for you to consider moving forward with me. Exclusively.”

  Holy shit. “Abbot, that is one of the loveliest things anyone has ever said to me. And you are right. I do think we would have a wonderful time, and I do think it would give us a clearer idea of who we are to each other. You are also right in that it is the kind of offer I will need to seriously consider before giving you a final answer. But I want to thank you so very, very much for making it.”

  “That is all I can ask,” he says. But his demeanor belies his casual comments. Everything about him seems to imply that, of course, I will say yes. “Shall we?” he asks, having signed the bill.

  I smile at him. “Absolutely.” I can feel the warm pressure of his hand on the small of my back as he gently guides me out of the restaurant.

  Of course this throws a wrench into my plans to suggest we take a break. My conversation with Ben went so smoothly, it empowered me to think that it was time to end things with Abbot, too. My newfound intimacy, emotional and physical, with Connor has simply changed the dynamic. But with Abbot’s offer on the table, and no equal offer from Connor, I start to wonder. As we stand in the chilly night air waiting for the valet to bring his car, he takes me in his arms and looks deep into my eyes.

  “You are the kind of girl I could fall in love with, Jodi Spingold. Give me a chance to prove to you that I’m the kind of guy you could love back.” He leans over and kisses me tenderly and deeply, and everything from the neck down begins to melt.

  “No way,” Jill says, stealing a piece of my bacon.

  “Way,” I say, snagging a forkful of her pancakes. We are indulging in a decadent Sunday brunch at the Bongo Room.

  “Are you going to go?” she asks.

  “I honestly don’t know. I mean, it’s a pretty spectacular offer, and I know that I would have a great time.”

  “But . . .” she prompts.

  “But I also know deep down that Abbot probably isn’t the guy.”

  “What makes you so sure?”

  “For starters, his neat-freak thing. And he’d never in a million years move in with me in our building. And I find his apartment cold and sterile.”

  “And?”

  “And I think despite what we have in common in terms of culture, he also isn’t a night owl the way I am. He’s a lot older than any of our friends and probably wouldn’t mix as well . . .”

  “And?”

  “And what?”

  “And what about Connor?”

  “Connor hasn’t been offering to take me to Italy. Connor actually hasn’t been offering to take me much of anywhere. Our last six dates all involved DVDs and take-out food.”

  “But I thought you’ve been having a good time with him?”

  “I have. I love being with him. We can talk about anything. He makes me laugh. I sleep so well with him. The sex, as we have recently discovered, is fantastic. But Connor is far more likely to offer to take me to a cabin in the north woods than he is to a villa in Tuscany. And I gotta be honest, I kinda like the whole villa in Tuscany thing.”

  “Put the vacations aside for just a minute,” Jill says. “Between the two of them, which one are you generally more compatible with? As a person, forget entertainment.”

  I think about this for a moment. Abbot and I talk mostly about business and the issues of the day. But with Connor, I can talk about hopes and dreams and fears and funny stories about family and childhood in a way that I can’t with Abbot. When Connor and I spend the night together, some part of him is always touching some part of me. He holds my hand, he puts a leg over mine, he spoons up behind me. It doesn’t matter how I shift or turn in the course of the night. There is always some tangible connection between us. When Abbot and I sleep together, he cuddles with me for about twenty minutes after we have sex, but eventually he rolls over to his side of the bed and remains there until morning. Connor is spontaneous and will call me last minute if he gets a free evening. Abbot, with the notable exception of a couple afternoon abductions for sex, has never in my memory called me in the middle of the day to find out what I had on the docket for that evening. I look at Jill, who’s waiting patiently for my brain to settle down. “Okay, if I put aside the entertainment things, like the kind of places I like to go and the kind of vacations I like to take, as a person, I think I’m more compatible with Connor.”

  “Well, then, isn’t that your answer?” Jill asks.

  “It might be if Connor had also proposed that he and I take things to the next level. But at the moment, there’s only one offer of exclusivity on the table, and it didn’t come from Mr. Duncan.”

  “Well, maybe it’s a topic you should bring up with him.”

  “What if it’s too soon?” I ask. “I’ve been seeing Abbot for nine months. I’ve only been seeing Connor for just over four, and we’ve only had sex once! What if he hasn’t talked to me about exclusivity because it takes him longer to figure that kind of stuff out, and I scare him away by bringing it up too soon?”

  “You know, if you turn Abbot down for this vacation, your relationship with him is over. He’s not going to want to keep dating you if you tell him that you’re not ready to go away with him.”

  “I know.”

  “And you can’t possibly be considering saying yes to him, with him believing that the vacation would be about exploring the potential for getting exclusive, if you already know that that potential isn’t there?”

  “That would be really bad, huh?”

  “Yes, that would be really bad.”

  “I honestly don’t know what to do. I know you’re right; I can’t go to Italy with Abbot. Not unless I tell him that I’d only be going to have a great time and that I don’t think we have a future. And I think the chances that he would still want to go with me at that point are slim to none. I also know that I really do like Connor, and I really do sense potential with him. But I don’t really sense that he senses the same potential. Do you know what I mean?”

  “You mean because he still disappears for a few days and then sees you every day for three days and then goes away for a week? That sort of thing?” Jill adds more cream and sugar to her
coffee.

  “Yeah, I guess. I think when he’s with me, he’s really with me. But I think when he’s not with me, he’s not necessarily thinking about me in the same way that I tend to be thinking about him, and that really makes me nervous.”

  “Is that what makes you nervous, or is the idea of being completely alone what makes you nervous?”

  “What do you mean?” I ask.

  “Well, let’s look at the facts. Putting Connor aside, you know you have to turn Abbot down, and you know that if you turn Abbot down, that is going to be the end of your relationship with him. That means that Connor will be the only man in your life. Your choice is to either start actively recruiting a replacement for Abbot, which kind of goes against what you’re feeling for Connor, or to actually look at Connor and be honest with him about your feelings. And take the risk that he will not feel the same and therefore end his relationship with you, at which point you would be entirely without a guy. It just makes me wonder if a part of the fear isn’t about being alone. Perhaps even more than being fearful of losing Connor specifically.”

  I steal another forkful of her pancake. “It’s been a really, really long time since I was vulnerable like that with a man. I’m not sure I entirely remember how to handle it.”

  “It’s like falling off a bike. As I recall, your cure usually involves champagne, a lot of ice cream, Cheetos, and a couple of one-night stands with completely inappropriate men.”

  I laugh. “You suppose I should market that in a package somewhere for the heartbroken women of the world?”

  Jill smiles at me. “We can certainly try to fit it into the next book.”

  “What am I going to do if I lose them both right before your wedding?”

  “Well . . .” Jill thinks a minute. “There is always Worth. He’s not bringing a date. I’m sure he’d oblige you during the slow dances.”

  “You’re kind of a cunt, you know that?”

  “I learned it from my big sister.”

  “We’re definitely going to need more bacon,” I say and wave for the waitress.

  “Jodi?” Benna squawks at me through the intercom. “I have Brant on the line. What do you want me to do?”

  Sweet Stay Puft Marshmallow Man. “Put him through,” I say. I take a deep breath and pick up the phone. “Jodi Spingold.”

  “Jodi, it’s Brant,” he says curtly.

  “Brant, I’m really not supposed to speak with you.”

  “Says who?”

  “Our lawyers,” I say.

  “Why would your lawyers tell you not to speak to me?”

  “That’s probably a question for Mallory,” I reply.

  “What are you talking about?”

  “Look, Brant, I am only at liberty to say that, on advice of counsel, I am not supposed to have any contact with you, and if you would like to know why, I recommend that you ask your girlfriend.”

  “Fiancée,” he says.

  “Excuse me?”

  “Fiancée. We got engaged. It’s why I’m calling. I wanted you to hear it from me.”

  “Well, let me be the first to offer you all the luck in the world. Is that all?”

  “Is that all you have to say to me?”

  “Brant, I don’t know what else you would like me to say. It’s been pretty clear of late that as far as you and I are concerned, our friendship is ended. And frankly, if you genuinely have no idea why it is that someone might suggest to me that communicating with you would be against my best interests and the interests of my business, then might I suggest that you and your fiancée have a very serious talk. In the meantime, all I can offer you are my very best wishes for a happy life.”

  “You just can’t stand to see me happy, can you?” he says.

  “Brant, I have to hang up now. Whatever you believe, all I can tell you is that I have never wanted anything but for you to have a happy life. And if you believe that you can have a happy life with Mallory, then all I can hope is that that turns out to be true.”

  “Well, then I guess all I can do is wish you a happy life as well. Good-bye, Jodi.”

  “Good-bye, Brant.” I hang up the phone just as Jill comes into the office.

  “Benna said Brant called. Is that true?” she asks.

  “Yep, just hung up.”

  “What did he have to say?”

  “He and Mallory are getting married.”

  “Does he know about her threats?”

  “It wouldn’t appear so.”

  “Well, did you tell him?”

  “I didn’t think it my place. I simply told him that on advice of legal counsel, I wasn’t supposed to be in communication with him, and that if he wanted to know why, I recommended he have that discussion with his fiancée.”

  “Wow. I bet it’s going to be a long talk at the old Summit house tonight!” Jill giggles. “You think he’ll marry her once he finds out?”

  “If I know Brant, she’ll manage to convince him that she was just trying to help him out, and that she never really intended to go through with it but that it was all for his sake and the sake of their future.”

  “And don’t forget the future of their future children.”

  I laugh.

  “Seriously,” Jill says. “What do you think he’s going to do when she tells him?”

  “Honestly, I don’t know.” I think it could go either way. She clearly has him poisoned against me. So it isn’t impossible to believe that if she explains her scheme to him that he might in fact choose to go along with it, and we could still be in trouble. But I would like to hold out some hope that there is a little bit of Anakin Skywalker left in the Darth Vader that my ex-husband has become. Just enough to make him realize that trying to create a smear campaign against our business and me personally is something he won’t be able to participate in.

  “Hopefully, now that Mallory has her future with him secure, she’ll simply let it go,” I say.

  “I hope you’re right.”

  “Yeah, me, too. Let’s talk about happier subjects. Are you ready for your big bachelorette night?”

  “I am indeed. Hunter’s leaving tomorrow for his bachelor weekend in Vegas, and I’m ready to get my groove on with the girls.”

  “I think we’re in for a great time. I’ve booked out the whole Kiva Spa, so everybody’s doing a circuit of massage, facial, manicure and pedicure, hair, and makeup. You and Paige and I have the most ridiculous suite at the Hilton, and the rest of the girls all have rooms one floor down. We have two limousines at our disposal. Dinner reservations in the private room at Nomi, followed by live band karaoke at the Redhead Piano Bar, and the brunch scheduled to be catered by the hotel on Sunday morning. The aunts and I finished the gift bags yesterday.”

  “Did you get them to come?” she asks.

  “Nope, couldn’t convince them. The most they will do is join us for brunch on Sunday. They say they’re too old to be a part of bachelorette night.”

  “I suppose it will be better to have them at brunch and be able to tell them all the wild tales of the night before.”

  “That’s what I figure. It’s going to be a fantastic weekend.”

  “Are you seeing Connor tonight?”

  “Yes, apparently we’re actually going out for dinner. It’s a small miracle.”

  Jill clucks at me. “All right, now. Don’t get all geared up to be irritated just because he doesn’t do that man-of-the-world wining and dining the way Abbot does.”

  “I know, I know. I have to remember that ultimately, perfection is boring.”

  “Exactly. Except when it comes in the form of your younger sister.”

  “Well, that goes without saying.”

  “What do you say we wrap things up and head on home?”

  “I think that sounds like an excellent idea.”

  “And Jodi?”

  “Yeah?”

  “You said you can talk to Connor about anything; remember that.”

  “I know.”

  “I’m just
saying.”

  “I’m working on it; let’s just get through the weekend first. The discussion isn’t really going anywhere; it’ll keep till next week.”

  At least I hope it will.

  Two Steps Back

  We always hope to make good decisions. We hope that we are the kind

  of people that can process new information, assess potential impact,

  and make a decision informed by our knowledge as well as our hearts.

  Sometimes, in an effort to lead us in the right direction, the advice of

  those closest to us is fairly conservative. It’s important when seeking

  outside counsel to recognize that nobody wants to be the one who advised

  you to take a big risk, because they don’t want to be in a position

  for there to be resentment or blame if the risk doesn’t pan out. However,

  when we speak to women who are in their mid to late thirties, often

  they talk about regrets. These women will point to the things they

  didn’t do, the places they didn’t go, the risks they didn’t take in love

  and business and life. When you come to a crossroads in any of these

  areas, and a choice has to be made for one path or the other, don’t dismiss

  the riskier path out of hand. While taking risks may ultimately

  not pan out, there are always things to be learned on those journeys.

  —From The Thirty Commandments by Jill and Jodi Spingold

  I realized when I was younger, and dating a lot of different guys (particularly guys who were far less into me than I was into them), I found myself falling prey to some pretty common traps. I was big on compliments, and no matter what the man I was with looked like or said or did, I always managed to praise him. I very rarely voiced a negative opinion, because usually, I was afraid that they would leave me. I think one of the things that drew me to Brant, way back when, was how at ease I was in his company. How much I felt that I could be honest with him. Even about things that came off as negative, I never felt like I had to placate or flatter. Of course, my comfort with sharing with Brant all of the things that I didn’t particularly like about him eventually turned into my dictating many things about our life together. And I’m still feeling somewhat guilty that one reason Brant is going to marry a woman who is a manipulative shrew is due in no small part to all of the years that I didn’t let him fully participate in major decision making.