The Most to Lose

by Landon, Laura

  “What the hell is he doing here?” Hadleigh bellowed.

  “I invited him, Your Grace.”

  “Then you can uninvite him! I don’t want him anywhere near my sister!”

  “If Lord Haywood’s company is so disagreeable, you are welcome to leave, Your Grace. But if you do, I’m afraid you will never see your sister again.”

  Her brother opened his mouth to speak, then closed it. Celie kept her gaze focused on where Jonah stood near the door.

  “Celie?”

  This was the man to whom she’d given her body. To whom she’d given her heart and her soul. The man who’d rejected everything she’d offered him. Who’d stomped on her heart and ground it beneath his heel.

  She should hate him. She told herself over and over that she should, but the part of her heart he possessed refused to turn away from him. He held too tight a grip on her emotions for her to let him go.

  “Are you all right?”

  She shook her head. She wasn’t all right. She doubted she would ever be all right again. “I…”

  She’d convinced herself that now that she knew the truth she wouldn’t feel the same about him. But she did. She still loved him. She still missed him. And she still wanted to run into his arms and have him hold her.

  “Do us a favor,” her brother interrupted, “and leave Cecelia alone. You’ve done enough damage.”

  “This is my home, Your Grace, and I would like Lord Hay-wood to stay. I, for one, would like to hear what he has to say.”

  “Well, I wouldn’t!”

  Amanda’s mouth curved upward. Celie couldn’t believe it. She was smiling.

  “No, Your Grace. I don’t imagine you would.”

  Her friend, the one person in all the world who’d stood at her side even when it would have been to her advantage not to, stepped close to her and placed her hand on her shoulder. “You need to hear everything, Celie.”

  Jonah ignored Hadleigh’s hostility and took a step into the room. “I need to talk to you for a moment.”

  “No!” Hadleigh crossed the floor in long, angry strides. “Get out! You have nothing to say to my sister.”

  “Your Grace.” Amanda lifted her hand and stepped in front of Hadleigh. “Don’t you think it might be best if you allow Lord Haywood to explain? After his admission to Lady Kendall, I’m sure there’s nothing he can say to sway your sister’s opinion of him. But it’s evident he won’t give up until he tries one last time.”

  “He’s done enough damage. He admitted he deceived Cecelia. That his only intent in asking her to marry him was for her money.”

  “That’s only partly true,” Jonah said. “I needed your money, Celie. I’ve never denied that. But there’s something I want you to know before I leave.”

  “You can’t believe a word from this murdering liar, Cecelia. You know you can’t.”

  “Murderer, Your Grace?” Amanda said, taking an obvious step away from Jonah. “I had no idea Lord Haywood had committed murder.”

  “Of course he did.”

  Hadleigh glared at Jonah, and Celie saw a look of hatred in her brother’s eyes she thought had lessened in the three years since Melisande’s death.

  Amanda clasped her hand to her throat. “No wonder you believed his admission so readily. What I don’t understand, though, is why you considered allowing Celie to marry him in the first place.”

  “I allowed it because…” Hadleigh halted in midsentence.

  In the flash of an eye, Celie realized that if her brother had finished his thought, she would have heard something she wasn’t sure she was strong enough to handle.

  “Wouldn’t you like to boast of your success, Hadleigh?” Jonah dropped his shoulders as if admitting defeat. “I mean, what satisfaction is there in victory if no one is aware of the plan you orchestrated to achieve your triumph?”

  “Shut up, Haywood. There was no plan.”

  “Of course there was a plan. And I played into your scheme perfectly.”

  Amanda wrapped her arm around Celie’s waist, and Celie braced herself for what she was about to hear.

  She knew that whatever was about to unfold wasn’t a secret to Amanda. Amanda already knew what Hadleigh had done and thought it was important for Celie to know it, too. And tragic enough that she expected Celie would need her support.

  “What plan is Jonah talking about?” she asked.

  “There was no plan. You’re listening to the ravings of a desperate man.” Hadleigh turned his hostile glare in Jonah’s direction. “Get out!”

  “I will, as soon as I congratulate you.”

  Jonah moved slightly. Celie’s heart raced. There was a warning look in her brother’s eyes that frightened her. There was a determination in Jonah’s she’d never seen before.

  “I underestimated you, Hadleigh. When you issued your threat that you’d wait until I had the most to lose, then take it all, I thought you meant earthly possessions. But you didn’t, did you?”

  “Shut up. You deserve to lose everything. You deserve to rot in hell.”

  “Did your sister know what you intended? Was she involved in your scheme? Or was she just the pawn you used to trap me?”

  Celie shifted her gaze to her brother. “What plan? What is Jonah talking about, Hadleigh?”

  “There was no plan! He’s only trying to make trouble. He’s desperate. That’s all.”

  “Someday, you’ll have to ask him, Celie. But when you do, be prepared.”

  “Out!” Hadleigh bellowed. “Get. Out!”

  “No, Hadleigh.” Celie knew if she was ever going to hear the truth from her brother’s mouth, she had to force the issue now. “I would like to hear what Jonah has to say.”

  “Cecelia,” her brother said in a stern voice, “I don’t know what you hope to prove by such defiance. Listening to this scoundrel’s lies will do nothing except force you to relive how he used you to exact his revenge against me. Don’t you realize that he’ll only tell more lies in his attempt to convince you that what he admitted to Lady Kendall wasn’t true?”

  She turned her focus on Jonah. “Were they true, Lord Haywood? Were the things you said to Lady Kendall true?”

  Jonah paused, and she knew then that he considered lying to her. When he spoke, the pain inside her chest hurt more than she thought she could bear.

  “Yes, Celie. In part, they were all true.”

  Amanda wrapped her arm around Celie’s waist when she staggered.

  “See, Cecelia! I told you Haywood was nothing but a blackguard from whom you needed protection.”

  Jonah ignored Hadleigh’s outburst. “I meant it when I said how much I hated your brother when he turned his back on me that first time and all of society took their cue from him. I spent many hours considering what I could do to regain my acceptance. But I knew nothing would force society to welcome me back.

  “And every night, when I fell asleep on the cold, frozen ground in the Crimea, with little food in my belly and only the rags on my back to keep me warm, I planned what I would say and do the minute I stepped back on English soil.

  “And when I received word that my father and brother were dead, I blamed Hadleigh. I deceived myself into believing that if I had been here with them, I could have made them realize the destructive path they were traveling and changed the outcome of their lives. And if not, at least I would have been here to bury them.”

  Jonah held out his arms in surrender. “But all my plans were nothing more than that—idle imaginings. Ramblings of loneliness. And self-pity. And helplessness.

  “I didn’t act on any of them. And I would never have done anything to hurt you.”

  He took a step toward her.

  “I couldn’t, Celie. I would never do anything to hurt you—because I love you.”

  “Liar!”

  “I said the words I knew Lady Kendall wanted to hear—needed to hear. I took the blame for Melisande’s death even though I didn’t cause it. I told a grieving mother that I was responsible
for everything that happened that night. And I did my best to convince her that your death wouldn’t affect me. I needed her to believe I didn’t care for you. I would have said whatever was necessary in order to save your life. Because I couldn’t imagine a life without you in it.”

  “No!”

  Her brother’s loud denial blasted through the silence.

  “He doesn’t love you, Cecelia. He’s incapable of the emotion. Don’t you realize how great a fool you made of yourself by thinking he could ever love you?”

  “That’s not true, Celie. I love you. No matter what you think of me, or how much you believe you hate me, I want you to know that I love you. I have from the first day I saw you again.”

  She didn’t know what to believe. Her roiling emotions couldn’t make sense of what her mind told her.

  “Jonah, did you only want to marry me for my dowry?”

  Jonah stopped, then closed his eyes and shook his head. “No, Celie. I wanted to marry you because I loved you. I’ve always known that Hadleigh controls your dowry.”

  Celie felt the bottom fall out of her world. “Hadleigh controls my dowry.”

  A frown deepened across Jonah’s brow. “You didn’t know?”

  She shook her head.

  “Oh, Hadleigh.” Jonah’s voice brimmed with disbelief. “Was there no limit to your deceit? Wasn’t it enough that you used your sister to achieve your goal? Did you trust her so little that you needed to keep the terms of her dowry from her?”

  Celie swayed and was thankful Amanda was there to steady her.

  “I didn’t use Cecelia,” he answered with a hateful glare. “I saved her.”

  “Saved her!” Jonah took a step closer toward the duke. “Did you once ask yourself if your sister would be of the same opinion when she found out what you’d done?”

  “I didn’t need to ask her. She would have answered with her heart and been miserable for the rest of her life.”

  Jonah’s eyes opened wide. “You fool! You arrogant fool!”

  The muscles on either side of Jonah’s jaw knotted as the noticeable anger etched on his face intensified. His breathing became harsh and labored, and Celie knew that whatever her brother had done was meant to destroy her love for Jonah.

  A numbing fear ate away inside her and she was frantic for answers.

  “Jonah, explain what happened,” she pleaded, praying that he’d ease her fears.

  She wasn’t sure what had transpired between Jonah and her brother, but she knew that Jonah wasn’t responsible for the damage that had been done. Her brother was.

  Jonah took a step toward her and smiled. “Everything will be all right, Celie. Just remember that I love you. I will always love you. I have from the first night I saw you.”

  “No, Celie,” Hadleigh bellowed. “Don’t believe him. He sought you out that first night to anger me! To antagonize me because he knew I was unable to stop him.”

  “Celie knows why I approached her. I explained my reasons a long time ago. I have always been honest with her. Which is more than I can say for you, Hadleigh.”

  “That’s a lie,” Hadleigh bellowed.

  Jonah took another step closer to her. “When you are ready to hear everything that was done to destroy our future, you will have to ask your brother to explain it to you. You need to hear what he intended from his lips, not mine.”

  Celie spun to face her brother and she knew in that moment that he had been behind everything that had happened to her. “What have you done?”

  “I saved you! I kept you from ruining your life! And I intend to prevent this blackguard from destroying anyone else’s life ever again.”

  Celie took in a gasping breath. She moved her gaze from the angry look on her brother’s face to the resigned expression on Jonah’s.

  “Jonah?”

  “None of this was your fault, Celie.” He took a step toward the door. “Always remember that. What happened wasn’t your fault. It was mine. It was all…mine. And your brother’s.”

  Celie watched Jonah turn. He was going to leave her. If she didn’t do something soon, she was going to lose the only man she would ever love.

  “Where are you going?”

  Jonah stopped. “I’m going home—for as long as I have a home.” He walked to the door, then paused. “You’ll be pleased to know that the creditors you sent line the entry-way of my home, Your Grace. It won’t be long and I will have lost it.”

  “You deserve to lose it. You deserve to lose everything. Just like I did.”

  Celie heard the anger in her brother’s voice and felt her world shatter around her. What had he done?

  Jonah’s bitter laughter startled her.

  “The house? The Abbey? You can have it all. They mean nothing to me.”

  “You’ll lose it all! I’ve made sure you will!”

  Jonah’s shoulders lifted, then fell. “So be it.” He reached for the handle on the door. “Without Celie to share it with, it means nothing.”

  Jonah pulled open the door, and Celie realized he was going to leave her. She had one question she needed to ask before he left. “Jonah?”

  He stopped. “Yes?”

  “Did you send the bills to repair Haywood Abbey to Hadleigh without his knowledge?”

  Jonah smiled. “Is that what your brother told you?”

  She nodded, and his smile broadened. “Oh, Hadleigh. Was there no limit to your lies?”

  Celie’s world trembled. Her brother had lied to her. She looked away from him and back to Jonah. “Wait, Jonah. I’m coming with you.”

  “No!” Hadleigh yelled, clasping his fingers around her upper arm to stop her.

  “Jonah!”

  He turned to face her. “You can’t come with me, Celie. I have nowhere to take you.”

  “That doesn’t matter! Nothing matters as long as we’re together.”

  Celie saw Jonah’s body stiffen as if her words had been attached to the end of a whip and cut through his flesh.

  “It matters,” he said, then turned away from her.

  The second before he disappeared from sight, he stopped and turned. But it wasn’t to her that he looked, but at her brother. And the glare in his eyes was the vilest, most hate-filled look she’d ever seen.

  “I will grant you a few moments of satisfaction, Your Grace. You have accomplished what you intended. I have lost it all. I have lost Celie. But so have you.”

  For several long, agonizing seconds, Jonah didn’t move. Then he slowly opened the door and took his first step away from her.

  She wanted to run after him to stop him, to go with him, but there was nothing to be gained by begging him to stay. Or by going with him. She needed to find out everything her brother had done and undo what she could to save the Abbey.

  Celie listened to the ominous sound of the door as it closed behind Jonah and felt her heart plummet to the pit of her stomach.

  A fury unlike anything she’d ever felt before exploded inside her and she turned on her brother.

  “What have you done?”

  Chapter 22

  What have you done?” Celie demanded again, angrier than she’d ever been in her life.

  Her brother’s shoulders lifted in indignant righteousness. “I’ve saved you from having to spend the rest of your life with a man who is incapable of loving anyone. He would have destroyed you just like he destroyed everyone who was foolish enough to care for him.”

  “Are you talking about Melisande?”

  “Yes! Because of him, she’s dead!”

  Celie stepped back and stared at her brother. His pain over losing Melisande was plain. It hadn’t lessened, as she’d assumed, but had grown even stronger.

  “Jonah didn’t have anything to do with Melisande’s death, Hadleigh. She ran out onto the street and was hit by a carriage.”

  “Because she was running away from him! Because she loved me and Haywood wanted her to run away with him!”

  “You fool! Melisande didn’t love you. She did
n’t love anyone but herself.”

  “That’s not true. We had an understanding. We were going to marry, but Haywood wanted her for himself. He was forcing her to leave with him.”

  “If anyone was forcing someone to do anything, it was Melisande no doubt trying to convince Jonah to marry her.”

  “No!”

  Celie looked her brother in the eyes. “You always had Melisande on such a high pedestal you couldn’t see her for the person she really was.”

  “I know what she was. She was the most beautiful person who ever lived. She was—”

  “Spoiled to the point of revulsion,” Celie cut in. “She’d been pampered her whole life and allowed to do anything she wanted. She’d gotten by with the unthinkable.”

  “No!”

  “Yes! Her parents were as blind to her faults as you were. She was cruel and heartless. She belittled every other female with whom she came into contact and reveled in their shortcomings.”

  “No!”

  Celie slashed her hand through the air to stop her brother from defending Melisande.

  Hadleigh was silent.

  “She did. Because ridiculing everyone made her feel superior. Laughing at them made her feel more important.”

  Celie couldn’t believe that someone as intelligent as her brother had been so completely taken in by Melisande’s beauty that he’d been unaware of the kind of person she was inside.

  “You never liked Melisande, Cecelia. I always knew the two of you could barely tolerate each other.”

  “No one liked Melisande, Hadleigh. If you had been able to see past her stunning beauty, you wouldn’t have liked her, either.”

  “Stop it! You’re only saying such horrible things because Melisande was in love with the man you were foolish enough to give your heart.”

  “Melisande may have been in love with someone, but it certainly wasn’t Jonah.”

  “You didn’t see them that night. She was begging Haywood, pleading with him to leave her alone.”

  “No, she wasn’t, Your Grace,” Amanda said from behind them. “She was begging Haywood to take her to Gretna Green so they could marry.”