Two Cowboys Next Door

by Jay S. Wilder

  I reached outside myself, taking in the sights and sounds of my surroundings. I didn’t think, there was no need. As Chuck had said, I left it all up to the darkness inside me, and it didn’t fail me. For once, I embraced my whole self, assessed the obstacle bar that must have been four feet over my head, and vaulted over it with an ease that nearly knocked the wind out of me. Instead of landing in a heap on the gym mat below, I ended up in a solid, stable crouch.

  Next was the running dive in the pool filled with ice.

  The plunge was mind-numbing nearly ripping my breath from my lungs. Not so much the cold as the bone-deep instinct to charge through the ice, while my physical body still battled with the temperature’s consequences on my cells. Evidently being fit didn’t cause me to be immune to freezing to death. With my teeth chattering and my limbs going numb, I fought to slog through the icy water, wondering the entire time how they’d managed to keep it so cold in the Texas heat.

  As my body fought not to seize, I drew my thoughts back, unable to sort one thing from another in the haze of survival. I knew only one thing—I really wanted to get to the fire hoop. So I took everything else out of the equation. By stripping it down, my objects became simple. As my arms propelled myself forward in the Olympic size pool, I learned a valuable lesson. The darkness in me thrived when things were simple. Unlike my inherent need to problem-solve. As I surrendered to my body’s automatic movements, that voice showed its approval.

  I half-expected my body to sink, but gave that up, and the mind-numbing feeling of being swallowed by ice left my system as small bubbles of heat ran through my veins. Almost outside of my body, I watched my arms propel forward in a butterfly stroke, forcing me through the water, using all body heat that my rage created. A sigh brushed past my lips. It must have come out as some other guttural noise because I could hear the chortles from the guys behind me.

  There wasn’t anything I couldn’t hear, as I noticed a car having trouble miles away on the interstate. The impulse to laugh was drowned out by a grunt. A noise that resounded in every sector of my soul and told me exactly who was in the driver’s seat. We shoved forward in a leap until I landed at the edge of the water. I knew with blinding clarity that nothing could touch us. Which the sane and logical part of me knew was a grave error in logic, but it didn’t matter.

  Nothing mattered but the scent of meat in my nose. I instinctively breathed in a whiff of air, but fuck, I wasn’t that evolved. I had to rely on my eyes. Someone had placed a few salmon on a crude wooden tray beyond the hoop. I stumbled backward a half-step. Getting down to a sprinter’s bend, I braced myself to take a loping run. These desert residents weren’t a big fan of fire.

  Do I face the fire or do I head for the opposite direction, leaving deep riveted footprints in the desert sand? That was it. This hurdle boiled down to one choice. Exhaustion took hold of my body, but even that didn’t stop me. I hissed in a breath of air, ignoring the prickling heat of the flames, sure that I didn’t want to go near it. Meanwhile, the hunger was doing things to my brain and my gut. It wanted that food in my belly—raw or not.

  Something about feeling this hungry gave me clarity about the big picture. This experience was intended to be a basic mastery and control exercise. Did I control the rage inside me, or did it control me? Once I was able to see it for what it was, everything else fell into place. I needed to either run to or from the fire. It was logic or gut. One or the other. Only I could make the call.

  Licking my dry lips, I charged forward toward the fire. Prickles of water sizzled and popped on my cool skin, but there was no extra heat. Nothing could penetrate past the slick wall of cold that already buffered my body from that long icy swim. Within a span of several seconds, I’d gotten through the flames. I was on the other side, ripping into the salmon. Voices around me registered, shouts of pride mingled with surprise. So they hadn’t expected me to do this well my first time out. Good to know.

  The salmon was soon eaten, but the tug at my gut wouldn’t cease. A persistent pull. What was it supposed to mean? I swallowed hard, turning my head to each side to look at the men around me. A low noise trickled from my chest, and one of them laughed, taking a step backward. Whatever it was, I couldn’t grasp it.

  Until I could.

  At that instant, it overwhelmed me. It was as though I were being swallowed whole by a lake of fire and spit back out again. I wanted to be back to normal. The urge to be back to my former self grew stronger in my chest, until it wasn’t need or want, but instinct. With that idea in my head, it was simple. The rest of my body wanted it too, and crumpled to the ground in exhaustion.

  When I was able to slit open my eyes without sensing an unbearable migraine, I looked down at my body, limbs sprawled out like a wounded bird. Every muscle felt like it was put through a blender, but I was whole. For now, I’d won against the rage.

  “Rule number one, my brother. No matter what, you’re in control,” Graham threw a blanket on me, even though the heat shimmered across the sky. “We’ll get you some more clothes. Next up is a little lesson in emotional control. Don’t worry. It won’t turn you into a crying little girl. You’ll thank us for later when someone pisses you off at a business meeting.”

  I think I may have grunted. Nothing really registered, but the sharp stabbing pains through all my muscles and joints while someone forced me to sit up and pressed a cool bottle of water into my hand. It was nice of them, but I couldn’t be more appreciative than that given that I was pretty sure I was in shock. Was this what a real camaraderie felt like in this strange family of sorts?

  Chapter 5 - Liam

  After three grueling hours of training with Kick3 Sports, I was both more in control and more scattered than I’d ever been in my life thus far. I was numb from the sheer overload of information. My fingers twitched on the manual stick shift. I quickly pulled into the diner parking lot and took a deep breath. With both my hands squeezing the wheel for dear life, I could maybe get a grip, and go inside to see Natalia

  As the last of the daylight caught on the corner of my Porsche’s windshield, I swallowed and gave myself a mental pep talk. When my lessons were over, Chuck had ushered me into the building and offered me a beer. We’d drank in silence for a couple of minutes. By five minutes I was on my second bottle. He didn’t seem like he’d cut me off. Then he started saying a lot of stuff that made sense. Information that he’d gleaned from God knows where, but it was all about Natalia, and it was all helpful if not downright enlightening in the extreme.

  The avenging angel of my nightmares—and my daydreams—worked at a daycare. Which explained her willingness to help me. She was obviously giving and kind. At least, she seemed that way when I wasn’t desperately tamping down my memories of my abduction. She’d given me as much comfort and as much aid as possible, given the circumstances, and there wasn’t a night that went by that a fuzzy picture of her didn’t flicker through my mind.

  She’d haunted me for months. Always surfacing in my thoughts at night when I was most vulnerable and chasing me through the memories. Her smile was both a beacon and a shadow. A dark reminder of a past I wished to erase linked with my first few weeks after such a brutal time under lock and key. She was one of them. Perhaps she’d even aided them in kidnapping me in the first place, given that I couldn’t remember any of it. Maybe she’d acted out of guilt later, sneaking dinner scraps for me and loosening the rope around my wrists.

  Either way, I could ask her these questions if I went inside the diner. As of right now, my options were watching her through the windshield of my car stalker-style or going inside to a possible confrontation that I’d dreaded for weeks. Yet I’d continued to search for her information. Even with my personal torment, answers were more important than the fear squeezing in my throat.

  I knew this was an important step in my recovery. A necessary evil in putting the trauma in my head to rest, once and for all. The knowledge didn’t make the situation any easier. Truthfully, the only thing that woul
d make the current situation a breeze was a fifth of bourbon, some meditation, and maybe a couple of voodoo dolls. I was leaving everything else up to chance tonight.

  There was nothing left to do but go inside. There had to be answers waiting for me.

  Just three more seconds.

  Three…two…one.

  Chapter 6 - Natalia

  His eyes were on me. I just wished he would get out of his car and come inside. I waited anyway, keeping my eyes on the cheap plastic menu as he sat in his expensive car, staring at the diner with a vacant expression.

  My phone vibrated again, and I let out a groan of frustration. It was another call or text from Carlos. He was persistent today, trying to reach me. Shaking my head, I turned it off, unwilling to let Carlos ruin anything about to happen—or not happen—given Liam had been out in his car for some time.

  There was a chance he might stand me up. Regardless, I didn’t know how I felt about that possibility. All I could do was stare straight ahead pretending I didn’t see him and hope that he’d know, by some odd level of osmosis, that this meeting was important to me too.

  “Come on, don’t leave me sitting here,” I whispered allowing myself a quick peek out the diner’s picture window where it looked like Liam was talking to himself.

  In a way, we’d both been through something terrible. Granted, his stay in the sweltering metal shed out in the back of the property was worse than my being an unwilling accomplice to the situation. We couldn’t deny it. We were both scarred. I couldn’t logically count on that as my only reason for agreeing to meet him. Because even with the memory of him in my head, there was a brave, headstrong man willing to try anything to escape or defy his captors. I’d be lying to myself if I didn’t say he didn’t appeal to me in a big way. My inner self had respect for his mental bravery, tenacity, and sheer fierceness.

  Beneath all his expensive suits and elite manners, the man slipping out from his insanely posh car was a warrior—he just didn’t know it yet. He’d learn. I bit my lower lip and sipped at my tea keeping an eye out for him while trying my best to play it cool. Meanwhile, every muscle in my body tensed up, a wash of goosebumps broke out all over my body.

  “Yeah, yeah. I get it. We like him. Shut up,” I chastised her under my breath and tried to get a good grip on myself.

  I knew this wasn’t going to be easy, but it’d be worth it. The door opened behind me. I found myself jerking upright to sit straighter in the squeaky blue vinyl booth. My tongue passed across my lips. One deep breath. Just take one deep breath. It would be okay. It seemed like my head was going to burst from the sound of my pulse echoing around between my temples. Blood rushed everywhere in a moment that left me a little lightheaded.

  There were murmurs as the hostess talked with him and he told her he was meeting someone. For a split second, I thought I could sense his gaze on me. The sensation burned a hole through the back of my neck, before the sound of footsteps made me swallow past the lump in my throat. There was no going back now.

  The man of the hour slid into the booth on the other side of the sticky Formica table. He was perfectly put together in a light blue button-down and a pair of crisp slacks, every bit the billionaire I remembered from my fantasies. A small lock of brown hair curled over one eye, swept free from the gelled back style that men who had his level of money tended to favor.

  Our eyes locked and my voice caught in my throat. His placid gray gaze narrowed before his brows rose and he cleared his throat. I think maybe I made a strangled sound, but his expression didn’t change from the wary, guarded mask. His gorgeous lips thinned, hands idly fiddling with the menu on the table.

  “Hi,” I spoke breathlessly, underneath the table my leg shook from nervousness. “It’s good to see you again.”

  The only thought that popped into my head as an inane smile spread across my lips. Damn it, I was screwing this up. Hormones were evil.

  “I’m sure you know what I came here for, Natalia. Thank you for meeting me, even if my persistence didn’t give you much of a choice.” He coughed into his fist, eyes flicking around the room. “As you can understand, I need answers. Considering what happened between us, I think you owe me that much, wouldn’t you say?”

  I winced at the formal, business meeting tone as well as the reference to what was owed him. He wasn’t going to make this easy, was he? I shouldn’t have expected anything different. Straight to the point was his style. At least, when he was captive, I’d assumed it was due to stress. That underneath there was a man with a smile—maybe a man who laughed out load. Now the idea seemed ridiculous. While I groped for words the waitress came over and Liam ordered water with lime and a slice of grapefruit.

  “What do you want to know?”

  We might as well get straight down to business.

  Chapter 7 - Liam

  Wow.

  That was my first thought on sitting across from Natalia for the first time in months. She was stunning. My memory of her did not do her justice. Then again, my head was covered half the time back then, so my vision was veiled and cloudy at best. In person, she was simplistically stunning in a girl next door wrapped up with a model type of way. Her long dark hair was tied back in a simple ponytail, gorgeous caramel skin didn’t seem to have a bit of makeup except for the red lipstick that coated her plump lips. When our eyes met, my nostrils flared. Confusion rose up inside me, clearly on edge by her presence.

  “You can relax, okay?” her throaty voice drifted over me as she demurely glanced down at the table before looking back at me with a tiny, disarming smile.

  Instant attraction flared within me. A toxin spreading sin throughout my cells and I was powerless to stop it. Beneath my slacks, my cock sprang to life behind the fly. Jesus, the immediate ache caught me hard in my chest too. The absurd need to cover myself with my hands flared up as I gritted my teeth against the pain. I reached out for my water hoping to squelch my lust with a couple of icy gulps. My fingers shook around the plastic glass. Rather than risk spilling it, I slid it until I could wrap my lips around the flimsy straw.

  Natalia blinked but was clearly ignoring my weird behavior, which was a small blessing. I needed to get it together. Get this meeting back on track before I did something I’d regret. A small movement in my seat made me wince. I cracked my neck. Discomfort rang through every pore of my body. God, how the hell did those Kick3 Sports guys handle their raging instincts all the time? And being horny as hell? I didn’t normally shy away from casual hookups, but after the ordeal, sex with random women became a regular thing. Too regular. It was bordering on pathetic.

  “Why’d you even trust me enough to meet me in the first place?” I asked, noticing that my voice came out harsher than I’d intended. “I could have ambushed you in the parking lot and dragged you away kicking and screaming with no one the wiser. Did you think of that?”

  Her red lips pursed as she wrapped both hands around a mug of tea.

  “It crossed my mind,” she cocked her head to the left as if studying me intimately. “But we’re in a public place where anyone could call the police. Plus, I don’t think you’re prone to violence.”

  She let the sentence hang over the table between us as she nursed her tea, taking small, deliberate sips.

  “What makes you say that?” I arched a brow and took the bait.

  “If you had violent intentions, with your newfound skills and your huge bank account, you could have easily taken out my people in the number of months since your…incident. But you haven’t made a move toward us for what they…what we…did to you.”

  A small noise rose in my throat, unbidden, but there all the same.

  “So you include yourself with them? With the people that attacked me? Why?”

  “I didn’t exactly do anything to stop them, did I?” Her soft voice broke as did her eye contact with me as she glanced somewhere over my shoulder.

  Silence settled between us and my chest tightened with the bizarre need to comfort a woman who’d onc
e done the same for me. I bit my tongue until I tasted copper. It wasn’t that she didn’t deserve the absolution, but I wasn’t ready to give it yet. There was much more left to cover between us.

  “Ask me anything you want to know. I’ll answer you as honestly as possible within reason, so long as you keep a promise to me, and don’t reveal to anyone that we ever met today. My extended kin…they can’t know we met…they’d probably kill me.”

  Her face went pale. She was serious. Natalia really did think they’d snuff her out if they found out about our meeting, and judging by the horrifying memories that were still fresh from my captivity with my attackers, I could imagine the severity within their clan was fierce. I nodded my consent. No one needed to know we had any…relationship. The word seemed foreign in my head, but my guess was that we were building up to that. What we’d been doing all those days in the sweltering heat of that shed while she slipped me slivers of food and elicit sips of water.

  “That’s reasonable. I can honor that request.”

  “Good,” she fidgeted nervously in her seat, crossing and uncrossing her legs once or twice. “May I call you Liam?”

  Surprise prickled along the back of my neck and spread like wildfire. I hadn’t expected intimacy. The plan involved staying one step ahead and keeping everything neat, tied in a small, emotionless bow. Her simple request changed things. I knew if I agreed something in the air would shift between us, and I didn’t know if I was ready to shoulder that vulnerability yet. Either way, she was clearly waiting for an answer.