by H. M. Bailey
She looked at him and his cheeks turned red with embarrassment. “No, I’m sorry, that’s not what I meant. I’m not happy that you lost your husband and can’t begin to imagine how painful that must have been. It was a poor choice of words. I guess I should have said that I was, um, relieved. Relieved because that first time I saw you, you took my breath away.”
Hannah laughed nervously and tossed some suds at him. He smiled and went on, “I’m serious; you really did. You were so beautiful, and funny, and I thought that you’d be someone I’d love to get to know better.”
She started to speak but he interrupted her, his eyes roving her face to sense her reaction. “Now, please stop me if I’m out of line, you don’t owe me an explanation because I have no idea if you’re dating anyone or if you even date at all yet…”
He was tripping over his words and rambling on and she couldn’t help but giggle at how adorable it was. “You’re not out of line. I…I haven’t dated yet. It’s been over three years now but I know that Michael would have wanted to be happy and live a full life. I just haven’t been trying to meet anyone, I’ve been happy in my little cocoon out here in the country, safe from the dating life. It’s been a long time.”
“Well, actually, I was wondering if we could do dinner again. But just the two of us next time. And I’m afraid that I’m not the amazing cook that your mother is, so we’d have to go out. Do you like Italian?”
“Yes, I love Italian. And yes, I’d love to go out to dinner with you.”
“Great! Are you free on Saturday?”
Hannah nodded her head.
“Then it’s a date! Saturday it is.”
Hannah couldn’t be sure but she could have sworn she heard whispered cheers coming from the next room. She was pretty sure that they were being eavesdropped on.
Even being spied on couldn’t diminish her excitement, though. She was glad that fate-and Shadow-had brought Ben into her life. The thought of dating, even someone as attractive and kindhearted as Ben, was still a bit unnerving to her. But she was confident in her decision. She’d take it day by day, keeping in mind that after the dark nights of life, God always makes the sun rise again and had that He had wonderful things in store for her. And in that knowledge, Hannah would always find hope.
THE END
Courtney’s Christmas Wish
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths. Proverbs 3:5-6
I was feeling giddy as I carefully treaded the icy sidewalk leading up to Molly’s front door. I had been looking forward to her annual Christmas party for weeks and didn’t want my lighter-than-air feeling right now to make me forget that I was actually heavy enough to wipeout on her front steps if I didn’t stay focused. That would definitely ruin my grand entrance. I’d spent nearly a whole paycheck on a new outfit, boots, manicure and hair highlights in anticipation of this party. All because I knew that Grant Harris was going to be there.
Molly opened the front door and I was greeted by loud chatter and Christmas music pouring outside. I could smell a mixture of pine and cinnamon, the wonderful smells of Christmas.
“Be careful! I tried to get all the ice chipped off but it’s still a little bit slick!” After her warning, she looked me over from head to toe and nodded in approval.
“Look at you! Courtney, you look gorgeous!” She smiled at me, her auburn curls bouncing off of her shoulders. I worked with her at the town library and she was one of my best friends. She also happened to be Grant’s cousin.
As I met her at the front door, she leaned in close to me and whispered, “He’s here, but you’re not going to be happy. He brought her with him.”
My heart immediately sunk into my stomach.
“What? I thought you said they broke up.” I must have really looked devastated because she smiled again and said, “Cheer up sweetie, there’s a lot of eligible bachelors here who you’ll have to fight off. Come on in and let me get you some eggnog.”
I went in and hung up my jacket and tried to blink the tears out of my eyes. Don’t ruin your makeup, Courtney, I told myself. He’d never really seen me as more than a friend, anyways, why would I have any reason to expect that tonight would be different. I tried to focus on the positive. I told myself I’d still get to see him; just being in the same room with him gave me the euphoric feeling of a stomach full of fluttering butterflies. And who knows, maybe he just brought her as a friend tonight, maybe they weren’t back together.
The her that Molly was referring to was Sabrina Hartley. She had been Grant’s on-again, off-again girlfriend. Their apartments were next door to each other, probably a huge factor in the on-again-off-again thing going on. I had no idea what Grant saw in her. Wait, that’s not true. Actually, I did know. She is one of the most beautiful women I’ve ever seen. She has dark brown, silky hair that you usually only see in shampoo commercials, crystal blue eyes with the longest lashes humanly possible and is usually dressed, umm -how do I put this politely-to get attention. She knew that she was beautiful and used it to her advantage.
Unfortunately, her personality didn’t match her physical beauty. Though she was sugary sweet when speaking to anyone of the male gender, to females she was cold, catty and condescending. She had no qualms about going after any man, regardless of his marital status, giving her the reputation as a home wrecker.
If only Grant could see what most women knew-Sabrina Hartley was trouble.
I spotted them over by the fireplace and my heart skipped a beat. He was just as handsome as ever. Six feet tall with sandy blond hair and blue eyes, he was a perfection of male form. It was hard to see those eyes right now, though, as he was looking at Sabrina, who had her arms in a death grip around his, making sure that everyone there knew that he was taken.
I thought back to the first time I had ever seen Grant. I walked into the first day of chemistry class and was struck dumb by the sight of this gorgeous guy in the front row. I’m sure I didn’t look very pretty with my mouth gaping open but was disarmed by his smile and warm hello to me. I’m sure he had no idea that I’d hung on to that hello for a long time.
He was a football player and hung out with a group of popular kids that I was not a part of. But I got to sit behind him every day for an hour, my daydreaming costing me the only B I ever got on a report card. It was worth it, though. He would sometimes chat with me about trivial things, but he used my name when he talked to me and hearing my own name roll of his lips made my heart skip a beat every time.
Then came the fateful day when our chemistry teacher, Mr. Carson, announced that we’d be working on a project in pairs of her choosing. As luck would have it, I was paired with Grant. I could’ve kissed Mr. Carson, who had no idea that he had just made me the happiest girl at Sawyer Falls High School. We worked on our project in class and met many afternoons after school in the class library and even a couple times at my house. I felt like I’d died and gone to heaven. It was the highlight of my junior year and I remember every meeting like it happened yesterday, though for the life of me, I wouldn’t be able to tell you what our project was about.
The next year, we didn’t have any classes together, though we remained friends. He even invited me to a lot of parties that he went too, and despite my shyness at the time, I made a lot of new friends. We went to colleges in different cities, so I only saw him occasionally during the summers. After college, he came back home with to take over the Harris Hardware business from his father, a business that had stayed in family hands for almost a century. It was the same time I came back and found a job at the library. I ran into him shortly after that and he asked me, out of the blue, to go out to dinner with him.
We had a wonderful time and I felt like we really connected. We laughed and shared stories of college and the date ended with him asking me to dinner the next weekend. I felt like he was finally starting to see me as more than a friend, especially during the second date. I fel
t we connected even more that night. We found out that we shared a lot of the same values and goals for life. He was a committed Christian who valued family and service, one of the reasons he chose to come back home to run the family business. That night, as he walked me to my front door, he kissed me goodnight. It was a moment I’ll never forget, I can still feel the tingle that traveled from my lips all the way down to my toes.
I thought it was the beginning of my happy ever after but it was not to be. Though he had asked me out on a third date, the next week he had some excuse to cancel. Then every time I’d run into him after that, it was like all traces of the romantic connection were gone. He wasn’t rude to me, he was still very polite and friendly, but nothing more. It’s like he just changed his mind. I’ve been trying to change it back ever since.
I was suddenly whisked away from my daydream by Molly, who handed me a cup of eggnog. She introduced me to a friend of hers that I hadn’t met before, obviously trying to distract me.
“Tony, I’d like to introduce you to my friend, Courtney. She works at the library with me.” Then, turning to me, she added, “Tony is in my new Bible study group and he’s new to town so I thought this would be a great place for him to meet some new people. And since you’re one of the friendliest people in Sawyer Falls, I thought you’d be a great person to start with.”
We laughed as I shook Tony’s hand. He was very tall with dark hair and a dimpled smile. He was definitely attractive. I tried to push the image of Grant and Sabrina out of my mind so I could focus my attention on him.
“So, how long have you worked in the library, Courtney?” he asked me.
“Well, I actually started with a part-time job there when I was in high school. I loved reading and was there all the time anyways. And then when I came back home the summer after college to help my parents move, I saw that they were hiring someone full-time. I remembered how much I loved it and thought it would be a great job for me until I go back to grad school. That was a year and a half ago.”
“You know, I’ve been in town three months and I haven’t even been to the library yet. I guess now I have a reason to go.” He smiled at me flirtatiously. “Do you think you could help me get a library card?”
“I think we could arrange that. Stop by anytime.”
Molly gave my hand a squeeze and then left me alone with Tony to visit with other guests. She has always been a charming hostess and loves to make everyone feel welcome, one of the reasons her Christmas party seems to get bigger every year.
I happened to glance over Tony’s shoulder and saw Grant. So much for distraction. Then, suddenly, he looked at me, catching me staring right at him. I quickly looked down, embarrassed. My cheeks were getting hot and I hoped they weren’t too flushed. I looked up again, this time at Tony, who was talking about his new job.
Though I kept my eyes on Tony, I could see in my peripheral vision that a figure was heading closer to us. I felt my breath catch in my chest when I realized it was Grant. He was coming my way and watching us. Soon, he was standing right next to me. I could smell his cologne and wished I could deeply inhale it without being obvious.
“Hi Courtney, it’s nice to see you again,” he said as I felt myself melting in place.
“Hi Grant, it’s been awhile, hasn’t it?” Then, I remembered my manners and added, “I’d like to introduce you to Tony. He’s new to Sawyer Falls. Tony, this is Grant Harris, Molly’s cousin.”
“Nice to meet you,” Tony said, offering his hand. He didn’t seem as excited in meeting Grant as he had been when Molly introduced him to me. His tone of voice revealed a hint of jealousy, like he resented someone moving in on me so soon after we were just getting to know each other. I wish I could have let him know that he had nothing to worry about. Grant would never see me as more than just a friend.
“Nice to meet you, too,” Grant answered, accepting his hand. I could have been imagining it, hoping for it, even, but I thought I detected a hint of the same tone in Grant’s voice. Maybe it was just a guy thing.
“How have you been? Are you still working at the library?” Grant asked me. I know he was just being friendly, but he had no idea that I had been looking forward to an interaction like this for weeks. I wasn’t as nervous in the conversation with him that I had played out in my imagination as I was now that it was a reality. I could feel my mouth getting dry.
I felt butterflies in my stomach and hoped my voice wasn’t too shaky as I answered.“Yep, still pushing books.” Stupid answer. Why did I say that?
“Well, I…” He started to answer but whatever he was going to say, I’ll never know. He was interrupted by a pair of slender, red-tipped hands reaching around his head and covering his eyes. The hands belonged to Sabrina.
“Guess who, sugar bear?” Her cooing voice grated on my nerves.
“Umm, Santa Claus?” He laughed while reaching up for her hands.
She giggled as he pulled her hands off and then she hugged him, keeping one eye on me the whole time. “You don’t mind if I steal this guy, here, do you?” she asked Tony and I sweetly.
“Help yourself!” Tony said. He was much more eager than I was to let Grant go.
I just smiled politely, wishing she could have given us even just a minute more. I had hoped they just came together as friends to the party, but the way she was pawing all over him, I figured there must be more going on. She was pouring out the top of the extremely low cut red satin dress she was wearing.
“It was nice to see you Courtney, maybe we can catch up later!” Grant called as Sabrina dragged him away.
“Was that his girlfriend?” Tony asked.
“Um, to tell you the truth, I’m not really sure. But it sure did seem that way, didn’t it?” My eyes followed them as they walked away and she stopped him under the mistletoe for a kiss. And it was much more than just a ‘friend’ kiss. Oddly, when they finished kissing, I noticed that she looked back to make sure that I had seen them. I guess that diminished any remaining doubts I had.
“She doesn’t like you much, does she?” Tony asked. He had been watching them too.
“You got that vibe, too, huh? I don’t even know her that well.”
Just then we heard Molly’s voice addressing all the guests from a microphone across the room. “Ok, it’s the moment I know everyone’s been waiting for-Christmas Karaoke! “ She gestured to the karaoke machine next to her like she was a game show hostess. “Time to share that hidden talent, or even for those of us that have no talent, to just let our hair down and have some fun.”
She held up a basket full of small, folded cards and said, “I have all of your names here in this basket. We’ll start with volunteers and then we’ll be drawing names!” The room filled with laughter mixed with groans. A petite girl with strawberry blond hair took the mike first and belted out Rockin Around the Christmas Tree in a surprisingly powerful voice for someone so small. She’d be a tough act to follow.
Tony had refilled my eggnog and was about to say something to me when I heard Grant’s voice on the microphone. I looked over and saw that Grant had pulled Sabrina with him in front of the machine. The last thing I wanted was to watch those two lovebirds singing a Christmas duet.
He put his arm around her and she smiled like a blushing schoolgirl. I wondered if she was embarrassed to be up there; that didn’t seem like her at all. She was the type of girl who relished all eyes on her. She thrived on being the center of attention. I wondered what the act was for.
I didn’t have to wait long to find out the answer to that question. They weren’t singing at all. Grant spoke into the microphone, just a hint of nervousness in his voice. His blue eyes were sparkling as he spoke into the mike. “I’m sorry to disappoint anyone who’s expecting me to sing. And anyone who has actually heard me sing before is probably relieved.”
Laughter filled the air and he waited a bit before continuing. “But I have an announcement that I wanted to make tonight and this seemed like the perfect opportunity for it.
”
Announcement? I didn’t have a good feeling about this. My heart was sinking and I could feel a lump growing in my throat. I hope it wasn’t going to be the kind of ‘announcement’ I was thinking of. Maybe he was going to announce that he was responsible for that delicious taco dip in the kitchen or that he was going to be running a special Christmas sale at the store. Oh please, let it be something like that.
But my worst fears were confirmed as he continued his speech. “I know that I haven’t had the chance to introduce Sabrina to everyone yet. So, for those who haven’t met her, I’d like to introduce to you to the future Mrs. Harris, my fiancé, Sabrina Hartley. We’ve made it official and will be getting married this summer.” Sabrina flashed her ring to the crowd as he spoke. So that was what she was up to with the shy, innocent act. She hadn’t been wearing the ring when she put her hands over his eyes just a little while ago-I know I would have noticed that. She must have been saving it just for this moment.
There were claps and cheers filling the room as he leaned down to kiss her. There were also a few looks of confusion, especially among the girls in the party and those who knew Grant well. It wasn’t like him to rush into marriage with someone he’d only seen on and off, especially someone who went through men like candy. I caught Molly’s eye from across the room and she look stunned. She mouthed, “I had no idea!” and I just nodded, blinking back tears.
I remembered back to when I was getting ready for the party. How excited I had been, hoping this would be my night to maybe rekindle a flame that had been there, once, long ago. He had felt it once, I thought. The night was definitely not going as I had planned. I wished I was anywhere but there, at that party. My dream of ever having Grant Harris notice me as more than a friend was over. He belonged to someone else. The realization of it pierced me like a sharp knife in the stomach. I felt sick. I realized that I shouldn’t have had all that eggnog. I felt my knees getting weak so I sat down in a chair nearby. Tony followed me, asking if I was ok. I just nodded. I felt like I couldn’t speak or I’d start to cry.