The Intern: A Sweet Lesbian Romance

by Mia Archer

  “You’re really going to try that line on me now? Don’t act like you don’t know why you asked me to come out here alone with you.”

  I licked my lips. “Why did I ask you to come out here alone with me Claire?”

  Claire leaned in close. So very close. So close that I could feel her hot breath, like some sort of mint or candy, brushing against my skin like a lover’s caress. That I was even thinking of it as a lover’s caress said a hell of a lot about where I was mentally in that moment as she seemed to be offering me a world of forbidden temptation.

  “Come on,” she said. “I’m not an idiot. Get the lesbian out here all alone after you flirt with her and give her one hell of a treat in front of everybody at the bonfire? You’re about as transparent as a guy asking a girl to go to a movie at the drive-in. I don’t think you had ‘just talking’ on your mind at all when you took my hand back there at the party.”

  I stared into her eyes. There were points of light in deep brown pools as they reflected the light from the pool up above. And I realized she was right. I had a hell of a lot more than talking on my mind when I invited her back here.

  It was crazy. It was insane. It was any number of synonyms for the same damn word that ultimately meant the idea of going off alone with my former best female friend was plain nuts and wrong.

  And it felt so right as I closed my eyes and leaned forward, brushing my lips against hers.

  For a moment I was the aggressor and I could feel Claire’s surprise as I pushed her down on the lounge chair that thankfully had some cushioning to it. There was nothing worse than falling down on a lounge chair on the beach and discovering it was nothing but metal. I never understood how people could stand to be on those things considering they were white-hot in the day and freezing cold at night and impossibly uncomfortably hard at all times in between.

  Claire’s mouth opened to mine and I was treated to a more direct sample of that candy taste I’d smelled on her breath. It was delicious. She was delicious as her tongue snaked inside my mouth even as I entertained oh-so-forbidden thoughts about how intense it would be to feel that tongue snaking inside other parts of my body. Her hands roamed up and down in an eager exploration, and I found myself thanking the gods above that I'd worn a suit that was so skimpy because her hands felt like magic everywhere they made contact with my bare skin.

  It wasn't because of any sort of experience or skill she had. She was fumbling in the dark like she was exploring a girl for the first time, and I realized that actually might very much be the case. Only, unlike with Derek’s fumbling, Claire’s hands had me so fucking turned on. Somehow the idea of being her first real exploration of the fairer sex was sending me into overdrive.

  In short, I loved this. It felt right in a way that making out with Derek or other guys never had. I’d discovered the spark, the flame, the bonfire of sexual energy that was missing from my interactions with all the guys I’d dated. I was really fucking surprised to find that spark with another woman, but as I rode that impossible wave of forbidden lust I was powerless to stand before it. I was powerless to stop myself, even assuming I wanted to.

  No, Claire’s touch, her feel, her explorations were wired straight to my pussy sending me into a sexual frenzy the likes of which I hadn't ever felt before. I couldn't explain it, I didn't understand it, but in the moment all I cared about was how goddamn good it felt as she moved a hand up and under my top. As she moved the thin triangle of green sparkly material aside and then her hand was running over my nipples and it felt as though she was sending pure pleasure from her hands directly to my brain. Directly to my pussy. I gasped in surprise at the intensity and the almost orgasmic feeling.

  Damn. This was so far beyond anything I'd ever felt with a guy. I was starting to understand how Claire had came just from feeling my fingers rubbing along her arm!

  Claire’s hands moved down and then she was rolling me to the side. She was moving on top of me and her hand was moving down. Down to cup at my breasts again, down past my stomach, down to… Holy shit! I felt panic welling up inside me. Panic that was stronger even than the arousal I was feeling. That impossibly strong arousal that was surprising me with its intensity.

  So I pulled a move that I’d pulled with Derek countless times before. I reached down and grabbed her wrist just before she made it between my legs. God how I wanted her to press her fingers between my legs, but that desire was warring with the sudden terror I felt at the implications of letting her do that. It felt like that would be going too far. Girls could kiss a little bit and it was still innocent fun, especially at a party, but letting her feel me up? Down there?

  That was dangerous territory. Dangerous territory that terrified me because of what it might mean that I was enjoying it so much.

  To her credit Claire stopped which was a hell of a lot more than Derek ever did. She also stopped kissing me which made me want to cry out in frustration. Her fingers dancing between my legs might be too much for me right now, but in the war between desire and panic desire was definitely winning when it came to feeling her lips pressed against mine.

  “Is something wrong?” she asked. Her voice was quiet, gentle. It was so soft and so inviting. Hearing her talking to me like that, without any expectations, made me desperately want to give her what she wanted.

  Who was I kidding? Giving her what she wanted was also giving me something I desperately wanted. Only I couldn’t. It was so wrong. It was so hot precisely because it was so wrong, but still. What would my friends think? What would my parents say? What would our pastor say if he found out about me wandering astray?

  And if something like this actually happened between me and Claire I had no doubt that everyone would know about it. That was just a fact of life living in a small town. Your business was everyone else’s business. Especially if the story was salacious enough.

  No, I couldn’t deal with that. I felt guilty even as the thought crossed my mind. Claire had been dealing with it for the past two years and now I was afraid of a little bit of gossip for one summer before I went off to college and it wouldn’t matter what anyone had to say about me anyways?

  There was a world of temptation, a world of possibilities I’d never considered opening up before me and Claire seemed more than willing to be my guide. From the way my body was reacting it seemed I really liked the idea of Claire being my guide. Only it was impossible. I did have a reputation to uphold, after all, even if I felt like kind of a bitch even thinking that.

  I felt like a coward, but it wasn’t going to stop me from taking the coward’s way out.

  Making out with Claire had been fun, I didn't regret it even if I did feel slightly queasy thinking about what it meant that I enjoyed it so much, but at the same time I was terrified of what might happen if other people heard about it. That might not be the world's most charitable thought, but there it was.

  All I could do was hope this would be a fun moment that both of us had shared, but that it wouldn't go public. Hell, if she could keep her mouth shut then tonight might not be the end to the fun we could have this summer. With the way I was feeling right now I might be willing to do a little more exploring in private where no one could find out, but I wasn’t ready to do that exploring right now. Not when this was so new and I was still so fucking confused and trying to process everything.

  And then she opened her mouth and started talking, and I realized I was in trouble.

  Shit.

  7: Shattered Dreams

  I stared at Allison in complete and utter disbelief. I couldn't believe that had actually happened. I couldn't believe I'd gone from sitting next to her at a bonfire to getting to make out with the girl of my dreams in less than a half hour!

  That was way more intense than anything I’d ever done with Sarah. It was also farther than I’d ever gone with Sarah considering she’d always gotten a touch of what I liked to call the “Jesus guilt” whenever things started getting hot and heavy.

  Though from the look on
Allison’s face it seemed she might be getting a touch of the Jesus guilt herself. Damn it. Things had been going so surprisingly well, too!

  Still, that experience. Feeling her against me. Feeling her need, her desire, that somehow matched my own as impossible as that seemed.

  I almost worried that I'd somehow died and gone to heaven without realizing it, but there was nothing that had happened this evening that would even come close to a near death experience. I figured it was safe to assume this was real. This had actually happened despite how improbable it was right up until the end when she pulled away from me.

  That last part was all too real judging by my limited experience with Sarah.

  I resisted the urge to reach out and pinch myself though. That might seem a little silly. I wanted to seem calm and collected. I didn't want to act too much like an idiot in front of this beauty. I definitely didn't want to look the cosmic gift horse that had delivered this incredible experience in the mouth.

  "I can't believe that just happened," I said.

  Allison grinned. "Yeah, that was a surprise, but a good one."

  I decided to get really brave. After all, I was having an incredible streak of luck tonight. Who's to say that luck couldn't go on forever? So I opened my mouth and plowed right on ahead.

  "I know we're kind of doing things in reverse here," I said. "But what would you think to maybe going to see a movie with me sometime?"

  Allison frowned. At least I think she frowned. It was hard to tell in the darkness, but that was almost certainly a frown. And for the first time this evening, this incredible blessed evening where everything seemed to be going my way, I felt a stab of fear. That frown wasn't what I was expecting. I was expecting a smile and for her to say yes almost immediately. Especially considering what we'd just done.

  "I don't know about that…" she said.

  She looked over her shoulder, back towards the glowing light of the bonfire which could just be seen in the distance. Towards the voices and the closing strains of a Twenty Promises ballad echoing down the beach.

  "Well why not? I mean considering what we…"

  "Look…"

  Allison paused for a moment as though she was trying to gather her thoughts. And I wondered what the hell was going on. I was suddenly terrified of what was going on. I suddenly saw the whole drama that had played out with Sarah over a couple of months happening with Allison in the space of forty minutes. Only oddly enough it seemed to hurt more with Allison even though we hadn’t spoken in years. I braced myself for the inevitable and finally she opened her mouth again.

  What came out hit me like a punch straight to the gut.

  "This was fun," she said. "It was a lot of fun, but we can't… You know… Maybe if we could keep it quiet…"

  And then what she was actually saying hit home. I couldn't believe it, and I felt anger flaring inside me. Anger that dwarfed any remaining arousal that I might have been feeling. There was also a small bit of pity, I’d been where she was and I remembered how terrifying it was, but again the anger more than dwarfed that small measure of pity.

  I tried to ignore the fact that I was still lying over her on the lounge chair with our bodies pressed together. I tried to think about anything but how beautiful she looked. More than anything, I tried to ignore the panic that was welling up inside me. I tried to ignore the feeling that my perfect evening was crashing down around me.

  "What are you talking about Allison?" I asked. "Are you ashamed of how you’re feeling, or are you just ashamed that it’s with me?"

  “It’s not that,” she said. “It’s just that… well what would everyone…”

  For one brief shining moment when I felt her lips pressing against mine I’d fantasized that love, or maybe lust, might be enough to overcome Jesus and the small town mentality. Only now I was realizing that it wasn't enough to overcome anything.

  "I can't believe you," I said.

  Maybe it was unfair, I’d been dealing with judgment for so long that it was just the water I swam in every day now while Allison was drowning in that same water after jumping in for the first time, but it was as though all the anger I’d felt towards this town for how I’d been treated coupled with all the bottled up anger at Allison over how we’d drifted apart was finally bubbling to the surface.

  And it wasn’t a pretty feeling.

  "What are you talking about?" she asked. There was irritation creeping into her voice.

  I paused for a moment to reflect on just how ridiculous this situation was. Here we were almost arguing with each other, and yet we our bodies were still pressed together and she still felt so damn hot under me. I was still tingling where our skin made contact even as my head was tingling from the anger that was threatening to overwhelm me. If this brewing argument went where I thought it was then I had a feeling we weren't going to be together like this for much longer. No, I was starting to get good and pissed off, never mind the fact that my body was still very much pressed against the girl of my dreams in a way that I never would have imagined possible before tonight.

  "I can't believe this," I repeated, my voice rising. "I take a chance, and it turns out you're no better than the rest of them!"

  "The rest of them? What are you talking about?"

  "You know exactly what I mean!" I said.

  I was pissed. I was starting to raise my voice, but I didn't care. I was just so angry! Angry enough to let out the tirade brewing inside me. "Beautiful Allison is willing to play dyke with the village lesbian as long as nobody else has to find out your secret! You’re judging me just like everyone else around this shithole has judged me when you of all people should be the last one doing that shit considering how you acted tonight!"

  Allison scowled. Once again it was a little difficult to see, but the light from the moon coupled with what I assumed was a security light glowing somewhere above us made her expression clear enough.

  "What about you? I didn’t ask for this but you were certainly willing to take advantage when all I wanted to do was talk! It's not like I asked for this, any of it!"

  I could sympathize with that. I really could. I’d felt the same way two years ago before I finally decided to be honest about who I was and what I liked. Sympathizing did nothing to make me less angry though. No, I felt too betrayed, and the avalanche of bad feelings that were crashing down at this final slight was too much for me to stop even if I wanted to.

  Which I didn’t. Not really. I was getting a perverse pleasure out of laying into Allison even if it probably wasn’t fair to place the blame for everything that had happened to me since coming out at her feet. I was angry and she was a convenient target.

  "I can't believe you!" I said. “If you're so worried about your reputation then we'll see how well it survives after everybody finds out what we did here!"

  Panic filled her face, and if anything that broke my heart more than anything else. I said it in the heat of the moment. I didn’t have any intention of actually doing it. I might be mad but outing someone just wasn’t cool no matter how mad I was. Still, that look was devastating. She was really and truly terrified by the idea of her friends finding out about what we'd just done.

  I felt a deep shame burning inside me. Shame that she didn't think I was worth going public, but more than anything I felt shame that I even felt ashamed in the first place. That I even gave her that power over me.

  "You wouldn't," she said. "What do you want? Is this blackmail? Do you want to do this again?"

  She actually sounded excited when she mentioned doing this again and the lower brain almost took over the negotiations, but I was still too pissed off to let my lust call the shots. I sighed, and suddenly I felt exhausted. So very exhausted. And sorry for her more than anything else.

  How sad it must be to live in her world. A world where all she cared about was how other people perceived her. In a way I lived in that world too, who didn't in the hell that was school, but at the same time I'd also gone beyond that world by virtue of goi
ng through the trial by fire that was coming out in this shithole of a town. I'd spent so long being an outsider that I didn't have to give a fuck about what people thought of me because anybody who “mattered” wasn’t going to have a high opinion of me anyway.

  Including Allison, and that hurt.

  How exhausting it must be to constantly think about what people were thinking of you. How exhausting it must be to deny yourself something you wanted because you were worried about what other people would think of you for wanting it.

  Maybe it was hubris, but at the same time I had a sneaking suspicion she had fun here tonight. There was no faking all of that. For whatever reason she decided to go off into the dark and had blessed me with a memory that was going to have a melancholy sweetness to it when I thought back on it. At least I had that even if everything that came after it was going to be a horrifying blow to my ego for God knows how long.

  "No," I said. "I don't want anything from you Allison. You've done enough already."

  "You can never tell anyone about this. About any of this," she said.

  I sighed, exhausted, and in the moment I agreed. I just said I wasn’t going to say anything and still all she could think to do was make sure I absolutely wasn’t going to say anything? I was done with her. Hell, we’d been done with each other for years when she came up to me tonight. I should’ve stayed done with her instead of going along with that inexplicable flirting back at the bonfire. I needed to be done with this now. I wanted to go home so I could collapse and let the emotions threatening to overwhelm me in front of her finally come out in a spot where it wouldn't embarrass the ever loving fuck out of me.

  "Whatever you want Allison," I said.

  And with that she pulled herself away from me. I felt a profound sense of loss, but at the same time I was glad to be rid of her in every way possible. I was a confusing jumble of emotions. Lust and my crush and anger all mixing together. I had a pretty good feeling this was a feeling I was going to have to learn to live with every time I thought of this moment.