Assembly: The Feral Souls Trilogy - Book 2

by Woods, Erica

  “I do, I owe you everything,” I rushed out and reached for him. When he turned away from my touch it felt like my heart shriveled up and died. I forced back the tears I’d been battling ever since the guys came back and bit my lip to stop it from giving away my heartache. “But I owe him, too. I just want to talk to him, after that I’ll tell you everything, just let me talk—”

  Jason turned his back on me, making me choke back a cry of despair.

  “Can’t let you do that,” he said, the somber note to his voice ratcheting up my panic and making me feel like something bad was happening. Something terrible.

  “Why not?”

  When he kept his back to me, no hint of the playful, affectionate Jason left, I lost the battle against my tears. As they trailed down my face and my throat grew thick, I watched and waited for Jason to return to me.

  But he didn’t.

  “We do not know him,” Ash said. “He is a strange male and you are not . . . properly mated.”

  “What does that mean?”

  “That is not entirely relevant,” Lucien said. He shrugged out of his suit jacket, the white shirt below still missing several buttons. Rather than look disheveled, the rumpled clothes only enhanced his masculine appeal, and when that arctic gaze cut my way, his messy hair—hair that had felt as soft as silk between my fingers—lent his annoyance an extra sharp jab. “Your refusal to tell the truth is. As are your secrets and your lack of trust.”

  A tiny, wounded noise pressed against the back of my throat, but went no further.

  “It’s not just that,” Jason said, still facing away. “We don’t know which pack he belongs to or where his allegiances lie. He could be an enemy, a Rederick supporter, a spy for the Council, we don’t know.” The ‘because of you’ hung unsaid between us. “And, yeah, the lack of trust hurts. Makes me wonder what we are to you.”

  I pressed my lips together and choked back another sob. Hurting them was the last thing I wanted. So why did I keep doing it?

  Jason and Lucien continued to argue, occasionally throwing me a question I answered with a mute shake of my head, but Ash said nothing. Sometimes he’d perk up, sharp gaze honing in on one of our faces—like he could see beyond our expressions and read our minds—or cocked his head, listening intently.

  This went on for a while, my thoughts spinning in circles, examining the situation from every angle and always coming to the same conclusion. I kept seeing Matthew, the only person who’d dared befriend me, lying in a pool of his own blood—because of me. I saw him how he’d looked when they’d first put him in the cell opposite me, healthy and strong and not-at-all afraid, and how terror had slowly carved permanent scars into his gaze, how it had shrunk him, eaten his flesh until only a shell remained.

  I saw him how he’d looked today—healthy and hale, but with a face so ashen that I could read all his old wounds in every tense line of his body.

  The images overlapped, blurred—as though my brain was trying to tell me something—but before I could figure it out, I was interrupted by the sudden cessation of sound. It was so startling, so quiet, that the lack of noise somehow seemed explosive.

  I glanced up at the guys, startled to see all three of their heads turned in the same direction, slightly lifted as though staring up at the sky.

  The silence felt heavy. Oppressive.

  I tried to ask what was going on, but my mouth was too dry, my throat a narrow tunnel blocked by a mountain of sand.

  So I watched. I watched as their expressions tightened. I watched as their eyes closed. I watched them stand stock still, like silent sentinels, so quiet it seemed even their breathing had stopped.

  Then a chorus of eerie howls tore through the air outside, making me jump and clutch at my madly speeding heart. The howls grew louder, nearer, deeper, until it sounded like our cabin was surrounded by an army of wild animals.

  A hammer struck at my chest. It beat down in a familiar rhythm—hard and hurried. Each impact made my teeth rattle, my lungs seize. My jaw dropped, tongue moving, but before I could say a word, excruciating pain sent me doubling over and clutching my chest. My breath sawed in and out of me, yet there was not enough oxygen.

  Bright spots danced before my eyes.

  The world spun, but before I could collapse, a cool hand rested on my forehead and I was lifted into strong arms.

  “Shh,” Lucien murmured in a voice so soft I thought I was hallucinating. His warm, almost-spicy male scent wrapped around me like a blanket, letting me draw my first full breath since we’d arrived.

  The room tilted and I found myself on my side, the comfortable couch beneath me. The terrible pain in my chest had lessened, leaving behind a dull ache I couldn’t help but rub with the flat of my palm.

  Long, slender fingers came to rest on top of my hand, its heat making me aware of the frozen quality of my own flesh.

  What happened?

  “You’re alright, my vexing female.” A cool touch to my forehead. “It is simply a panic attack.”

  Only Lucien could annoy me to such a degree that I forgot my pain long enough to frown up at him.

  Panic attack? More like something tried to claw its way out of my chest!

  “I do not think she is afraid,” Ash said, his head still angled in a way I found both terrifying and thrilling.

  Lucien’s brows drew together. “Perhaps not.” He raked his gaze over my face, down my body, all the way to my toes. “Not any longer.”

  “Where’s Jason?” I asked, sitting up and wincing at the leftover twinge.

  Ash stared at something to our left, and my eyes automatically followed. I gaped at the beautiful gray wolf panting on the floor. He was about the same size as Lucien’s wolf with overly large paws I had a near irresistible urge to touch and squeeze between my fingers. A splash of white around his muzzle gave him an almost-playful appearance, while soft reddish-brown streaks blended seamlessly into the gray at his neck and sides and made him more than stunning.

  Easily as gorgeous as Lucien’s magnificent white or Ruarc’s deadly black.

  “Why is he breathing so heavily?” Concerned, I tried to get to him, but strong hands held me back.

  “He was forced into the change,” Ash explained. Although he sounded patient, there was a stiltedness to the way he spoke that had been missing before. Almost as though he struggled with shaping words. “As the youngest of us, he has the least control, and for some reason the moon has been riding us all unusually hard this night. It has been a while since his last forced change.”

  “More than three years.” Lucien stared down at Jason with a taut expression.

  “Is that bad?”

  “Maybe.” Ash inclined his head to the side in a way that would have better suited a raptor than a human being. “But maybe not.”

  I huffed out a breath. “Well, is he okay? Never mind, let me up, please.”

  Every time I tried to sit up, Lucien pushed me back down while Ash studied our interactions with a distant, almost amused interest. “You need to rest. I’ve heard panic attacks can be dangerous for humans.”

  “It wasn’t—” I snapped my mouth shut.

  “You are human. Certain weaknesses are to be expected,” Lucien said in a way that made it clear he did not like it, but he would put up with it because he had to.

  The feel of my eyes rolling was so foreign, at first I didn’t know what I was doing. It wasn’t until Lucien frowned down at me, icily informing me that rolling one’s eyes is considered impolite, that I realized how loosely I’d been guarding myself. And my emotions.

  Was this why my monster had almost escaped?

  The hairs along my spine stood at attention as a shudder worked its way through my body. The thought of what could have happened had I failed to contain it . . .

  I shuddered again and looked to each of the men. They were alright. They were here, safe, and—

  “Ruarc!”

  A dark growl from Ash and a quick inhalation from Lucien followed by, �
�What?”

  Annoyed when Lucien tried to stop me from sitting up, I gave his hand a quick slap, too worked up to really notice the incredulous stare he shot me.

  “He’s out there! Alone!” When no one moved, I almost made a growl of my own. What weren’t they getting? “He’s out there with all the animals! What if they hurt him? And Jason got hurt by the shift, what if that happens to Ruarc, too?”

  While Lucien kept staring at me like I was some mysterious but repulsive creature he couldn’t quite figure out, Ash helped me up. But when I was finally standing, instead of helping me to the door he pulled me against his chest. “Ruarc is fine,” he said in that slightly distant, stilted voice. A part of me found it charming, while the other part wanted the old Ash back. The Ash that was warm and comforting and always said the right thing. The part of me that liked this strange predator was not a part I wanted to study too closely.

  He patted my back when I tried to pull away. “Just relax, my female.”

  The distress firing away in my brain at the thought of Ruarc being attacked distracted me from Ash’s slip of tongue. “We have to find him!”

  A strangled huff slipped from Lucien. “There are no wild animals. Unless you count us among them.”

  “What?” I tilted my head back as far as Ash’s grip would allow and met Lucien’s cold gaze. “The howling . . .”

  “Lycans.” Lucien narrowed his eyes. They locked on Ash’s grip on my waist. “The ones who are young or wish to be swept away by the change. The howling is the packs communicating with each other. It also signifies the beginning of the night’s hunt.”

  The eerily beautiful—yet deadly—sound originated with lycans? “Oh.” What else could I say? If I told them how the howls had sent shivers of dread up my spine and scared me half to death they would be insulted. And if I shared the song’s strange hold over me, how a part of me had wanted to join in, they would find me ridiculous.

  So I said nothing.

  “You are tense.” One of Ash’s hands moved to the back of my head and pushed my face back into his chest. An alluring croon hummed through the air while he patted my head like I was a child. “Be calm.”

  I could almost hear Lucien rolling his eyes over the gentle action. “Stop coddling the girl,” he snapped, but Ash acted as though Lucien hadn’t spoken.

  Languid heat crept into my limbs and made them heavy. All I wanted to do was collapse into Ash’s warm embrace. Then I remembered Jason panting on the floor, Ruarc storming out, Lucien’s anger, and the fact that I could do nothing about their questions until I’d spoken to Matthew.

  “I’m fine,” I told Ash, trying to sound firm. “You can let me go now.”

  “What if I do not want to let you go?”

  My belly did a little flip. “W-what?”

  “Oh, for god’s sake!”

  Lucien’s interruption was all I needed to pull free. While the two men were locked in a bizarre staring contest, I rushed over to Jason’s side. “Jason? Are you okay?” I knelt next to him, my hand shaking as I reached out to stroke his head.

  He pulled away, putting his head between his paws and sending me a look full of mistrust.

  A small gasp tore from me, the pain of his rejection nothing compared to the realization that I could lose them. If I persisted in keeping secrets and not trusting them with the truth, how long would it take before they all turned from me? Before they decided I was too much work, too much of a bother?

  The thought of leaving Jason while he looked to be in pain was one I instantly denied. Instead, I pulled my knees up to my chest and guarded him as best I could.

  He may not want me to touch him, but at least he’s staying put. Misery welled, and I mourned the loss of our closeness while praying he would still want to be around me once I finally told him the truth.

  A pair of long, suit-clad legs came into my view. “What are you doing?”

  “Making sure Jason is okay.”

  Lucien scoffed. “The pup is fine. It’s not his first change.”

  “He doesn’t seem okay.”

  “Whatever distress you are picking up on, I can assure you it has nothing to do with his wolf form.”

  Meaning it was because of me? I looked away.

  “Perhaps the truth would soothe him.” An assessing look entered his cold stare. “Tell us who the male is. Tell us, and Jason will feel better.”

  Heavy with guilt, I shook my head. I couldn’t. Not yet. Loyalty was one of the few things I understood, one of the few traits the Hunters hadn’t managed to destroy. What kind of person would I be if I spat all over that loyalty, if I repaid Matthew’s sacrifice by taking away his choice? Mine had been ripped away from me too many times for me to want to do that to another. To a friend. Just seeing me had made him look as though his world was ending, so the least I could do was talk to him, give him a chance to explain, to leave if he wanted, to tell his loved ones before I spilled all his secrets. All our secrets.

  Because I would.

  No matter what he said, he wasn’t the only one I owed, and though I would warn him first, I wouldn’t keep his secrets for long.

  “Why in damnation not?”

  “I told you, I—”

  “Yes,” he interrupted in a bitter voice. “You’ve made it perfectly clear you wish to speak with the cretin first. That is not going to happen.”

  Ash joined me on the floor. The way he stared at me—head tilted, brows slightly arched—made me wonder what he saw. “You may talk to him,” he said.

  At the same time Lucien snarled a “What!” and I whispered, “Really?”

  A grave nod. “But we will need to be present.”

  My hopes fell. Matthew clearly didn’t want others to know. “I . . . He won’t agree to that.”

  A heavy stillness drew across the room. Lucien’s beautiful features arranged themselves in a mask of cold indifference while something dangerous descended over Ash.

  “He is the one who would decide?” Ash asked in a deadly quiet voice.

  I was trapped. It was there in their dark looks and coldly serious eyes. There was no way they would let me see Matthew now.

  Silently cursing my carelessness, I bit my lip and tried to think of a way out.

  There was none.

  I would have to find Matthew on my own. Without the guys knowing.

  Lucien apparently took my silence as confirmation. “Damnation!” He stalked across the room before turning and stalking back. “This is ridiculous. You will tell us everything. Right now, female!”

  I stared at the floor, and when Ash didn’t intervene I pretended I didn’t care that he’d withdrawn his support.

  “What’s his name? Where did you meet?”

  My chest felt tight.

  A breath hissed between Lucien’s taut lips. “Are you lovers?” Suspicion darkened his green eyes, and he glowered at me with a furious emotion I couldn’t understand. “Is that it? Are you protecting your lover?”

  “No!” I cried out. I couldn’t let them believe something like that! “I’ve never slept with—”

  “With whom?” Lucien bent over me, eyes missing nothing as they scrutinized every minuscule expression flashing over my face. “What’s his name, Hope?”

  “I can’t tell you!”

  Next to me, Jason whined. His ears lay flat against his head, lip lifted to show his displeasure. Before I could apologize, he got to his feet and trotted out the room.

  “Jason . . .” I called after him, my hand stretched out as though I could grab the invisible threads between us and stop him from leaving me.

  Ash also got to his feet. “Would you like something to drink?” he asked, seemingly unaware that the world was falling apart around us.

  “N-no thanks,” I replied woodenly, still staring after Jason.

  “We are not getting her drinks,” Lucien spat. “We are getting her to talk!”

  Ash observed us both with dispassionate curiosity. “Why?”

  “Why?” Per
fect brows shot up.

  “Yes, why?” Ash shrugged, a careless motion that somehow managed to convey the depth of his indifference. “It is pointless. She will not tell us, and we will not force her. As long as we keep her away from this male, all will be well.”

  It didn’t seem like Lucien knew what to do with that. And neither did I. Where had the warm, understanding Ash gone? He spoke of keeping me away from someone I wanted to see as though it was the easiest decision in the world. Like it made sense.

  My shoulders slumped and I stopped paying attention. They could say what they wanted, but I would find Matthew, and after I spoke to him I would tell them everything.

  Even the things they would hate me for.

  26

  Ash

  Watching Lucien tear into Hope with his endless interrogation did not inspire the kind of anger I would have felt on any normal day. The overwhelming presence of my beast let me watch the proceedings with cool curiosity. After all, Lucien’s end goal was to protect our female.

  In that regard we were aligned.

  But when Hope’s already pallid complexion waned further, giving her skin an almost translucent quality, and when each word out of Lucien’s mouth—lacking their usual edge—made her jerk as though she was being beaten, the beginning of a cold, cold anger stirred.

  “Who is he to you?” Lucien demanded on a hiss. “Why must you speak with him alone?”

  My gaze was drawn to Hope’s hands. They shook. I glanced up, expecting to see sadness, traces of anger, but instead her eyes were filled with a bone-deep weariness the human part of me immediately recognized and empathized with.

  It was the same weariness I had long since embraced. The kind that came from being unwilling—or unable—to share one’s responsibilities. I did not want my pack to feel burdened. I did not want them to carry the weight of inevitable guilt that burrowed through to the soul when a tough decision led to unforeseen consequences and loss. So I made the hard choices, content to carry the strain so that my brothers would not have to.