Your Hand in Mine: A Heartwood Novel

by Brea Viragh

  “Because he’s not worth it. And he could sue.” I wouldn’t put it past him.

  I managed to extricate Owen from Fenton’s grip. Not by superior strength. More so because I knew Fenton wouldn’t hit me if I came between them.

  The second he was loose, Owen dropped to the floor, his bleary-eyed gaze reaching up to spear through me. “You are such a bitch,” he managed to get out.

  My hands went to my hips. “You have the nerve to say that to me now? After what you did?”

  It might have been Fenton’s ire stretching across time and space and impacting me. It might have been my own frustrations I’d kept under lock and key until now. My cheeks began to burn as the blood I my body turned to gasoline. Owen was the match.

  “Do you understand what you could have done? You could have seriously injured or hurt somebody today. Myself included! You broke the window in my office. I could have been impaled by a piece of glass.”

  “Good,” came his belligerent answer.

  Fenton shifted at my back and I reached out an arm to stop him from moving forward. Although sure, Owen deserved a good strangling.

  I watched him struggle to his knees. God, how much had he drunk before driving over here? I hoped he hadn’t left a string of mangled cars on the side of the road.

  “Good?!” My eyes bugged out of my head. “You wanted to hurt me? Are you insane?”

  “You rejected me.” Owen straightened to his full height. “You laughed at me when I wanted to reach out and be close to you.”

  “Which gives you the right to come to my place of business and try to hurt me. Damn, you’ve gone off the deep end. And thank you for the bricks. They made a lovely patio in the back.”

  He didn’t like that one. Liked it even less that Fenton was now standing with his hand on my shoulder and the men in a circle around us. It was like the beginning of a musical number where the opposing gangs began to dance fight in the streets. Except this was me and a group of sweaty men versus a single, drunk ex-boyfriend.

  The odds didn’t look good for him.

  “All you had to do was agree to a date, Shari. You didn’t have to sleep with me. I just wanted the opportunity to talk to you again.”

  “And instead of responding like a normal human being, you broke my window, endangered countless lives, and came here tying to threaten me. Yes, I understand.” I gave him an exaggerated nod. “Smart. Exactly what I would have done.”

  He hated my sarcasm, if the rapid pulse at his temple meant anything. “I wasn’t thinking.”

  “Obviously not,” Fenton interrupted.

  “What are you going to do, boss?” Owen stretched his arms out to his side like he was inviting trouble. Which might have been taken as an aggressive gesture had he not almost lost his balance and tripped over his own cowboy boots. “You gonna hurt me? You gonna stand up for her?” He scoffed. “She won’t love you. She’ll just use you like she did the rest of us. Take you on and then discard you like—”

  Owen didn’t get to say any more. In the time it took for him to swallow his next word, Fenton was in front of me, his fist colliding with Owen’s neck.

  The other man fell back to his knees clasping his throat, choking.

  My eyes rounded but Fenton turned me toward the house.

  “Leave the men to clean him up,” he replied. Furious.

  “He could sue you,” I protested meekly.

  “Let him. He deserved it. Now, we have some glass to clean up.”

  I hurried to keep up with him. “You…stood up to him for me?”

  “Who else do you think I was standing up for?”

  “The men.”

  “It doesn’t have to be one or the other. He also came in here and desecrated my job site. Which I absolutely cannot tolerate under any circumstances. Owen deserved what he got, and if you hadn’t been there to stop me, he might have gotten a lot more. I’ll feel better knowing Bud and the boys will mop the floor with him.” Fenton pushed the porch door open and ushered me inside. “You go in the kitchen and try to make some lemonade or something. I don’t want you anywhere near the glass when I’m sweeping.”

  If I hadn’t been shaking with adrenaline, my fight or flight response kicked into hyperdrive and my system still unsure how to proceed, I might have made a fuss about being asked to go in the kitchen. I might have swooned under his concern and the fact that he was willing to stick up for me. I might have insisted I could do it myself and didn’t need him stepping in to come to my rescue.

  In the end, I nodded.

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  The Owen thing was taken care of. I spent the next day and a half wondering why I hadn’t thought about him earlier, or why I hadn’t stepped in and gotten to the bottom of the situation before we had to replace another window. Before the lives of people I cared about were threatened by a drunk in a dump truck.

  Then I shook my head. It wouldn’t help matters to beat myself up over it. The new window was ordered and Bud assured me that Owen was sent on his way in the back of someone else’s vehicle with his tail between his legs. He wouldn’t be bothering me again.

  I hadn’t expected him to bother me at all.

  I was in the now dark office—plywood covering the window—trying to capture Fenton’s attention on an issue he’d been avoiding for some time.

  My cell phone buzzed in my pocket and I ignored it. “I’ve been thinking of a few names I wanted to run by you.”

  The sun was high in the sky, saws buzzing and work happening all around us. People hurrying around trying to finish up odd jobs before they took lunch. I tapped my foot on the floor.

  “Go ahead.”

  “You talk about this place like an oasis. A retreat, a place for people to get away and forget about their problems.” There was a hitch in my throat. What I wouldn’t give for a place like that. I was going to miss this place when the job came to a close. When I was forced to leave.

  It was really shaping up to be something special, and I was proud to be a part of it to its completion.

  I was also turning into a blubbering mess these days, and I couldn’t trust if the swell of emotions swamping me was normal or something new I’d acquired from all the stress.

  “I was thinking Oasis on Oak.” The name of our street. It had a nice ring to it. “Or maybe Open-Door Oasis.”

  “Open Door,” Fenton repeated.

  “It suggests a feeling,” I told him, sitting down on the edge of my desk and crossing my legs. “A feeling of welcome. Like no matter who comes here and where they’re from, our door is open. Sorry. Your door.” I stumbled over the mistake, tried to keep going like it was no big deal. “Like I said. I came up with a few names. You don’t have to choose any of them, of course, I just thought it would help you out in the long run.”

  “I’ll think about them. They’re all good ideas.”

  “The only kind of ideas I have.” I forced a smile, which melted when my phone vibrated a second time.

  “Are you going to get that?” Fenton pointed, his brows drawn together. “It’s distracting me.”

  Disappointment threaded through my system. “You’re in my office waffling over names and you say I’m distracting you?” I shook my head and fumbled in my pocket. “Hello?”

  “She’s gone!” Jackie’s screech echoed across the room until I was forced to hold the phone away from my head. “She was supposed to be in her room and when I went to check, she was gone. The window was open and I…I-I-I don’t know what to do. Oh, god, Shari. My baby.”

  “Hold on a minute, calm down.” Calm down? How could I tell Jackie to calm down when my own guts knotted themselves into a labyrinth? “Tell me what’s going on.”

  Jackie took a deep, shuddering breath. I could almost hear her heart pounding through the receiver. “Kaylen was supposed to be in her room. She ran away. I thought it was a little quiet and when I went in to check on her, the window was open. I checked everywhere. I’ve been in the car driving the streets for the last hou
r. I can’t find her!”

  The blood in my veins turned to ice. “And you didn’t think to call me immediately?”

  “I didn’t know what I was doing. I’m going out of my mind! I’m about to call the police.” The shrieking was back.

  I needed to move. Fenton’s hand was on my shoulder and I shrugged him off, my attention focused on Jackie. My niece was missing. My niece had run away. What was I going to do?

  My brows pressed together until I felt an ache between my eyes. “Don’t call the police,” I warned. “If she hasn’t been missing for twenty-four hours, then they aren’t going to do anything. We need to make sure she isn’t gone that long.”

  “I noticed she was gone this morning. It’s been hours, Shari. She said she was in her room trying to journal. She was upset. I left her alone, I knew she wouldn’t want me distracting her…God! I’m trying to be calm, here…” Jackie trailed off on a sob.

  “I’m coming. Okay? Try not to have a panic attack before I get there.”

  I clicked the off button on her next screech and let my eyes close, trying to force air into my lungs. Fight against the panic clawing the inside of my chest.

  Fenton interrupted me before I had a chance to tell him. “I heard everything. Do you have any idea where she might have gone?”

  “No.” I ran a shaky hand through my hair and started for the door. “I need to think.” I slapped a hand against my head. “Why can’t I think!”

  My voice rose, which had Fenton striding forward. “We’re going to find her.” He grabbed me, his fingers biting into the skin of my shoulders. “I promise.”

  I buried my craving for him. The urgency I felt to touch him, to drag him and keep him close to me. It was an itch I couldn’t scratch, growing in intensity until I could think of nothing else. I wanted him.

  There was no time for desire. Not when Kaylen was missing for who knew how long. Somewhere in the county. I was going out of my mind with worry.

  “Do you hear me?”

  “I hear you,” I uttered.

  “Come on. We’ll take my truck.” Fenton unhooked his tool belt and let it drop to the floor, right in the middle of my woven rug. I didn’t care when the claws of his hammer unhooked a few of the loops.

  “I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to come with me. I have enough to handle.”

  “Yeah, well, too bad. I’m coming whether you like it or not.”

  “You know, for someone who has too much on his mind to worry about a relationship, you sure don’t have a problem sticking your nose into my business.”

  He whirled to face me. “Kaylen is my business too.”

  “I fail to see how.” It didn’t help to lash out, I knew, but it felt good for a flicker of a second.

  “You’re overreacting since you’re upset. Let me help you. I know these back roads and, despite what you may think of me, I pay attention. I remember her talking about a few of her favorite hangouts when we were manning the kissing booth.”

  That fucking kissing booth.

  “Where?” I asked.

  “Out by the river, for one. But I suggest we start close to the house before we widen our search.” Fenton grabbed hold of my elbow and we walked side by side down the hallway, heading toward the stairs.

  “Jackie is an overwrought mother who isn’t thinking correctly. She might have missed something in her duress.”

  I was freaking out. Goosebumps raised on my arms and legs, my fingers shook, and I was having trouble keeping my gait even and balanced. If Fenton hadn’t had a hold on me, I might have toppled over. So much for keeping a level head.

  “Get in the truck, Shari.”

  We were outside before I knew it. Blinking in the sun. Bud and the boys paused to stare at us.

  Fenton opened the door and held out a hand to help me up into the passenger seat. I politely refused, hauling myself up.

  I hoped, whenever we found Kaylen—I had to think in terms of when rather than if—I wouldn’t end up detonating. My emotions were in hyperdrive, and I wasn’t sure I could handle much more.

  My legs were more than shaky. My knees bounced up and down and it had nothing to do with the bumpy driveway. I wanted to scream. I’d had a good taste of fear before when I found her drinking, and it was nothing compared to what was pumping through me now.

  “I should have grabbed you something to drink.” Fenton braced his hands on top of the steering wheel. “I didn’t think. Try to take a slow breath.”

  “I’ll be okay once we find her,” I insisted.

  “You don’t look okay.” He glanced over at me. “Has she ever done anything like this before?”

  I shook my head. “No. I don’t know what’s going through her head. She hasn’t been happy, sure, it doesn’t seem like a good enough reason to run away.” I paused. “I don’t want you here with me.”

  “You aren’t getting your way. In fact, I’m going to stay with you until we find her. Period.”

  “I don’t want to be coddled. And I don’t want you to feel obligated.” I held onto the word and all the bitterness associated with it.

  “Then what do you want?” When I glanced over, Fenton was vibrating with frustration and concern. “I honestly don’t know anymore. You tell me last week you’re in love with me, and now it’s a different story. Now you want me to get lost.”

  “I never said those words,” I insisted, half a dozen vile words leaping up my throat.

  “I don’t know what you want from me.”

  “I…I want to find Kaylen.” The words melted into a bunch of tears. Christ. What was wrong with me?

  Fenton glanced over and scrubbed a hand over his collarbone. “Shari, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to lose my cool.”

  I let my head drop to the window with a sniffle. “Stop. I don’t want to hear it anymore.”

  “If you think you’re better served looking for Kaylen on your own, then fine. I’ll turn the truck around and give you free reign. But seeing you now, knowing your mind, I don’t want you to be alone.”

  “I don’t know what’s happening,” I admitted, reaching up to mop my face. The damn tears didn’t want to stop. I was embarrassing myself. “I’ve been so upset about what happened between us, I’m not acting like myself, and it’s killing me. I have such high expectations and I’m failing all of them. I’m scared of my own emotions, I’m scared of what’s going to happen, and—”

  He reached over and let his hand drop to cover mine. “I’m here.”

  “Are you?” I steadied myself. “It seems to me like you don’t really want to be.”

  “I’m here to listen while we look.” He flipped on the blinker and took a left-hand turn toward my sister’s house. “Will that do?”

  It would have to. I didn’t have much choice. I closed my eyes and let out a breath, looked at him. “I thought I’d work at Doma for the rest of my life. It was all I wanted, and believe me, it took me long enough to find what I like to do. I can’t create, I’ve never come close to a masterpiece. I know what I’m good at, and it hurt to be let go like I didn’t mean anything to them. Like I wasn’t worth it.”

  “You are worth it. They’re fools,” Fenton insisted.

  “I was good at what I did, and I loved it.” My free hand slapped over my heart. “It wasn’t the most glamorous job in the world. It was mine. I feel…untethered. Like I’m not good enough anymore. Which is bullshit.”

  “Do you like what you do for me?”

  “I love what I do for you. But that’s part of the problem. I want to be loved by a good man. To be cherished for everything I am and everything I represent to him. I’ve never had good luck there. But we clicked. You got inside me and that burn is intoxicating. I knew you were the one the second your lips touched mine. Let me finish,” I said quickly.

  Fenton pulled to a stop in the driveway and put the truck into park.

  “I didn’t want you to be part of my pattern. I’ve waited all of my adult life to find something like what I fee
l for you. It’s a gift. I thought I was fine before, with a purpose and a direction and an awesome sense of confidence. I can’t explain how it feels to experience the empty spaces I never knew about being filled. And to know the man who fills them doesn’t want to be there. It’s a hard price to pay.”

  My eyes were finally dry. If only my stomach would stop flipping.

  Fenton was quiet. Then he came out with, “thank you for telling me.”

  “Don’t say anything,” I replied, grabbing the door handle and yanking it toward me. “I can’t bear to hear it.”

  He eased back when I jumped out of the truck, bolting toward the front door like my life depended on it. “Jackie!” I called out. “Jackie, I’m here.”

  My sister was out the door in seconds. Our arms came around each other as we crashed together. Her face was red and puffy from crying. I didn’t blame her. I wasn’t looking so hot myself.

  She sobbed against my neck. Her hair had dropped down to her shoulders, drooped from the heat and lack of product. Like the wind was out of her sails.

  “We’re going to find her,” I muttered against her. “Don’t worry.”

  “She didn’t take her phone! What kind of teenager doesn’t take her phone?”

  “The kind who doesn’t want to be tracked,” Fenton answered, coming around the side of the car.

  Jackie shifted, leaning back long enough to see who was talking. The sight of him had her crying harder. I wondered why.

  “I’m going to go to the high school and check there. You two go to the river,” he continued. “Do you know of any other spots where she usually likes to hang out?”

  “I-I already checked the parkway. I’m not sure how far she could have gotten.”

  “Or who she might have called since she didn’t have her phone,” I said.

  Jackie shook her head. “I didn’t hear any cars pull up.”

  “It doesn’t mean she couldn’t call someone and then meet them down the road,” Fenton insisted. He raised a hand to shield his eyes from the sun. I realized then we’d both run out of the house without sunglasses.