From Here to Maternity

by Sinéad Moriarty

  Hilary pushed past her into the apartment and walked straight to the bedroom. ‘So this is where your sordid little affair takes place,’ she said, as Babs pulled on one of Billy’s shirts to cover herself. ‘I knew he was up to no good. How does it feel to know that you’re shagging another woman’s husband?’

  Babs shrugged. ‘I’m not the one who’s married. I’m not the one with the kids. If you’re going to get pissed off with someone, you should talk to Billy.’

  ‘Is that an Irish accent?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘Well, you little Irish slut, it’s time to pack your things and go home to your mother,’ said Hilary. She grabbed Babs by the arm and shoved her towards the wardrobe. ‘Start packing now.’

  ‘I’m not going anywhere.’

  ‘You stupid tart. You’re not the first slag to catch Billy’s eye. This has happened before and I got rid of those sluts too. He’s been faithful for the past two years and I intend to keep him that way. So, listen to me very carefully. You will pack your bags and get a one-way ticket home.’

  ‘No, actually, I won’t. I’ve got a job and a life here. I’m going nowhere.’

  ‘Enjoying yourself too much, are you? It must be nice to have an old man looking after you. Not interested in lads your own age? Prefer sugar-daddies, do you? Like sponging off my husband, do you? Well, the party’s over. You won’t be seeing another penny. Now, get packing.’

  ‘I’m not going anywhere until I’ve spoken to Billy.’ Babs stood her ground.

  Hilary walked back into the hall and shouted, ‘Terry, can you come up here? I’ve got a spot of bother.’ Turning back to Babs, she said, ‘You’re messing with the wrong family, love. I dragged myself up from the hole I was born in. Nobody gets in my way.’

  Ten seconds later a man – six foot tall and six foot wide – appeared. ‘Having trouble?’

  ‘This little tart says she doesn’t want to move out. I think she needs to be persuaded.’

  ‘Are you fuckin’ with my sister?’ asked Terry, picking Babs up and flinging her on to the bed. ‘You need to learn some manners. Now, pack your bags and sling your hook, or you’ll seriously regret it,’ he growled.

  Babs opened her mouth to speak, but Terry was too quick for her: he covered it with a hand and hissed in her ear, ‘Are you deaf? I said, get the fuck out of here.’

  When Babs had thrown a few things into a bag, she was handed a pen and a piece of paper and told to leave Billy a note saying she had had to go home due to a family emergency and wouldn’t be coming back.

  ‘He’ll call me,’ said Babs.

  ‘On what?’ said Terry, crushing her mobile phone under his foot. ‘And don’t even think about contacting him, because if you do, I’ll find out, hunt you down and break your legs.’

  ‘How am I supposed to get back to Dublin? I’ve no money.’

  ‘You’ll have to swim,’ said Terry, pushing her towards the door.

  ‘Or you could use your talents and shag the pilot,’ said Hilary. ‘Now get out of my sight, you cheap slag.’

  Terry grabbed Babs’s arm and shoved her on to the street. He threw her bag after her and told her to make herself scarce.

  The phone rang while I was trying to persuade Yuri that broccoli was the most delicious thing he could ever taste, as he repeatedly spat each spoonful back out. Hoping it was Lucy, I lunged to answer it and tucked the receiver under my ear as I continued the ‘Yummy yummy, Yuri’ game.

  ‘Hello?’

  ‘It’s me,’ said my sister. We hadn’t spoken since Sean’s wedding two weeks ago.

  ‘How’s the prostitution going?’

  ‘Not so well, actually. I’m in the airport and I need you to buy me a ticket home.’

  ‘Get sick of you, did he? Find someone younger and less of a pain in the arse?’

  ‘No, actually. His wife found out and got her psycho brother to chase me out of town.’

  ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘I mean, he chased me out of the apartment and said he’d kill me if I didn’t disappear and go home.’

  ‘Really?’

  ‘Yes. He was like one of those mad soccer-hooligan types. Bald head and tattoo.’

  ‘Did he hurt you?’

  ‘Well, he roughed me up a bit.’

  ‘Are you all right?’

  ‘I’m fine now. Will you just buy me a bloody ticket so I can get out of here?’

  ‘Why can’t you buy your own? You’ve been living rent-free for months. You must be loaded.’

  ‘I’m skint.’

  ‘What did you spent it all on?’

  ‘Stuff.’

  ‘Like?’

  ‘Clothes, shoes, iPod, stuff.’

  ‘So you’ve indulged yourself completely and now you want me to bail you out as usual? Well, you can sod off. You got yourself into this mess, you can get yourself out of it,’ I said.

  ‘Emma?’

  ‘What?’

  ‘We both know you’re not going to leave me stranded here, so will you cut the crap and buy me a ticket?’

  ‘Why should I?’

  ‘Because it’s your job as my older sister.’

  ‘I swear, Babs, this is the last time. Have you told Mum and Dad?’

  ‘That my boss’s wife found out I was sleeping with him and had me run out of town?’

  ‘So they don’t know you’re coming?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘Don’t you think you should tell them you’re moving back in?’

  ‘Actually, I was thinking of crashing at yours until I get myself sorted. I’m too old to live with Mum and Dad.’

  ‘Over my dead body.’

  ‘Come on, Emma, just for a few days until I get my own place.’

  ‘I thought you said you didn’t have any money? Who are you planning to sleep with here for free accommodation? And, by the way, in case you give a shit, Lucy and Donal have broken up. So, well done, you’ve now destroyed two marriages.’

  ‘Donal was single when I slept with him and Billy has been cheating on his wife for years. So you can get off your soap-box.’

  ‘Don’t you have any self-respect or consideration for others?’

  ‘Jesus, can you give the lecture a rest and just get me a ticket?’

  Yuri began to roar. The broccoli was clearly not satisfying his needs and he wanted something decent to eat. Frankly I didn’t blame him. I wasn’t a fan of broccoli myself. ‘I have to go. I’ll buy you a plane ticket but don’t even think of turning up on my doorstep. You can go home to Mum and Dad and tell them you were lonely or depressed. You’re good at lying, so I’m sure you’ll think of something.’

  As I hung up the phone, James came in to see what the racket was about. ‘Why is Yuri howling?’

  ‘Because I tried to give him broccoli and he hates it.’

  ‘Hardly surprising. Does anyone actually like it?’ he said, staring at the green mush on Yuri’s plate.

  ‘I’m trying to encourage him to eat vegetables. They’re good for him.’

  ‘Yuck, Yuri, yucky broccoli,’ said James, throwing the dinner into the bin.

  ‘Thanks, James, you’re a great help.’

  Since the Leinster defeat, James had been moping around the house feeling sorry for himself. Some of the journalists had criticized his coaching skills in their post-match analysis. As a result he was keeping a low profile and was now spending his days following me around, second-guessing everything I did with Yuri.

  ‘Here you go. Have one of these,’ he said, offering Yuri the packet of crisps he was eating.

  ‘James, I don’t want him eating crisps. They’re bad for him.’

  ‘A few crisps aren’t going to hurt,’ he said. ‘Go on, son, tuck in.’

  Delighted to be offered forbidden fruit, Yuri grabbed a handful and stuffed them into his mouth.

  ‘He’s taken too many, James. He’ll choke.’

  ‘Stop fussing – he’s fine.’

  Yuri began to cough and turn purpl
e. I grabbed him out of the high chair and thumped him on the back. A mouthful of crisps tumbled out, and he gasped as he sucked air back into his lungs and then as the delayed shock hit him, he began to cry. I glared at James.

  ‘OK, so I won’t give him crisps again.’

  ‘Look, James, I know it’s been really hard on you losing the match and all, but when I tell you not to give Yuri something it’s not because I’m trying to be a pain, it’s because I know what’ll happen. Why don’t you get out of the house for a while and meet Donal for a drink or something?’

  ‘Donal’s more depressed than I am. Lucy still won’t talk to him. He’s hardly the ideal candidate to cheer me up.’

  ‘Well, then, why don’t you meet some of the other lads or organize a game of golf or a poker night or something?’

  ‘Because I intend to wallow in self-pity for a while longer. Besides, I enjoy tormenting you.’ He grinned.

  ‘Well, if you’re not going out, would you mind putting Yuri to bed? I have to book Babs a flight home – her affair has been uncovered. Then I think I’ll lie down. I feel a bit funny today.’

  ‘Are you all right?’

  ‘Yes, I’m just tired.’

  ‘How did Babs get caught?’

  ‘Apparently with her knickers down.’

  Chapter 32

  Lucy arrived to the office to find Annie waiting for her. ‘Hi – what are you doing here? Is everything OK? Why aren’t you at school?’

  ‘I snuck out to come and see you. I know about you and Donal. He told me what happened.’

  Lucy wasn’t sure how much Donal had told her so she decided to tread carefully. ‘Look, Annie, it’s nothing for you to worry about. You need to go back to school and focus on your exams.’

  ‘Please forgive him, Lucy. I know what he did was stupid, but he’s miserable and he really does love you and he really is sorry. Every time I call him he sounds worse. Like really, really sad.’

  ‘It’s not that simple.’

  ‘I know shagging another woman is really bad, but he said it happened that time when you broke up because of me – which I still feel really bad about – and he doesn’t even remember because he was so drunk and he’d never do the dirty on you again. He really means it. I know all guys are arseholes, but Donal isn’t. He’s a really good person. And you’re great together. I know I was mean to you in the beginning, but now I’ve got to know you I think you’re brilliant and I can see how happy you make him. He just sounds so lonely,’ said Annie, pausing for breath.

  ‘I’m lonely too, Annie,’ said Lucy. And she was, desperately. Living in a hotel out of a suitcase was miserable at the best of times, but at nine weeks pregnant it was truly grim. She loved Donal and she missed him, but he had cheated on her and she couldn’t get past that. Once a cheat always a cheat – wasn’t that the saying? Her father had cheated on her mother, who had never got over it and was still bitter. Lucy had been five and she remembered the hurt it had caused. Mind you, her father had been with Sandy for twenty years now and, as far as Lucy knew, he hadn’t cheated on her. Maybe he’d just fallen out of love with her mother. After all she was a difficult woman. But if Lucy forgave Donal now, so easily, would that make him think it was all right? Would he be tempted to stray again because he knew she was a soft touch? Did she want to bring up a child on her own? Did she want to spend the rest of her life alone because she couldn’t forgive this mistake? Donal made her feel special and he made her laugh. When she was with him she felt invincible, safe, happy. Was she throwing it all away for a principle? Her head throbbed and she felt nauseous again.

  ‘Lucy?’ said Annie, coming over to her. ‘Are you all right? You look like you’re going to throw up.’

  ‘I’m OK. It’ll pass in a minute. The mornings are always the worst.’

  Annie looked at her, and then the penny dropped. ‘Oh, my God, are you pregnant?’

  Lucy cursed her stupidity. She had presumed if Donal had confessed to Annie about sleeping with someone else that he would have told her about the baby.

  ‘Are you? How many months? When’s it due?’

  ‘I’m sorry, Annie. I thought Donal had told you. I’m only two months, and no one else knows.’

  ‘But that’s great news,’ said Annie, giving Lucy a bear-hug.

  ‘You’re OK with it?’ said Lucy, trying not to cry. She hadn’t had a hug in weeks. She’d been avoiding everyone.

  ‘I knew it’d happen sooner or later,’ said Annie, ‘and it’ll be fun to have a little baby around. I can spoil it rotten. But now you absolutely have to go back to Donal. You can’t be separated. Don’t let the baby grow up without him. He’s a brilliant father. I’d never have got through the last few years without him. You’ll be great parents and I’ll be a fab auntie. Come on, Lucy, I’m not leaving here until you promise you’ll get back with Donal. We’re a family now.’

  Lucy was having trouble keeping her emotions in check. ‘Look, Annie, thanks for coming, I really appreciate it, but you need to go back to school. I promise I’ll think about it really seriously,’ she said, her voice beginning to quaver. ‘I have to go now, I’ve got a meeting.’

  ‘OK, but I’m going to call you every day until you agree,’ said Annie.

  Lucy put her into a taxi and waved her off.

  The doorbell rang. James went to answer it.

  ‘I’m baa-ack,’ I heard Babs shout, and she strode into the kitchen, followed by James, carrying her bag.

  ‘You’ve got the wrong house. I told you I’d pay for your flight but there was no room at the inn. Go home to Mum and Dad.’

  ‘Come on, it’s only for a few days. I’ll be fine and I’ll even babysit for you.’

  ‘Do you honestly think I’d leave Yuri with you?’

  ‘What’s the big deal? All they do is eat, sleep and shit.’

  ‘Mary Poppins herself couldn’t have put it more eloquently,’ said James. Turning to me, he asked, ‘Any reason why you didn’t mention your sister was moving in with us?’

  ‘Yes, because she isn’t. Come on, Babs, I’ll drive you home.’

  ‘I’m not leaving,’ she said, taking her coat off and sitting down. ‘I don’t want to get the third degree at home – you know what Mum’s like. She thinks she’s Agatha bloody Christie. I’ll be followed around for days being quizzed.’

  ‘Serves you right for behaving like a hooker. By the way, I thought you said you’d been roughed up? You look fine to me.’

  ‘Roughed up?’ said James.

  ‘Yes, my boss’s wife comes from some dodgy part of the East End and her brother – who looked like Mr T from The A-Team, except he was white – pushed me around and threatened to kill me if I didn’t get out of town.’

  James roared laughing. ‘So you finally met your match.’

  ‘I’m actually quite traumatized by the whole episode and I think you could at least have the decency to give me a bed for a few days.’

  ‘How is a few days going to change your situation? You’ve got no money, no job and currently no man to sponge off,’ I asked.

  ‘I’m sure Mary Magdalene here will have no trouble sorting that one out,’ said James, guffawing at his own joke.

  Babs rolled her eyes. ‘I’ve got a plan for a new career.’

  ‘Do tell,’ I drawled.

  ‘I’m going to come to work with you tomorrow and talk to Amanda. She loved it when I got the nose job live on her show so I figure she’ll be mad keen to have me back, and I wouldn’t mind a boob job.’

  ‘Don’t even think about it. I like my job and I’m not having you ruining it for me. Besides, Amanda isn’t your biggest fan after you threatened to sue her on live TV when you first got your bandages off and your nose looked awful.’

  ‘First, that was all sorted out when the swelling went down and I went back on the show and said I was thrilled with the results. And second, judging by the size of you, I’d say you’ve only a week or two left before you pop a sprog, so you won’t even be aroun
d.’

  ‘I’ve got seven weeks to go, you annoying cow, and you’re not to go near the studio.’

  ‘Fine, whatever, I’ll think of something else. So, what’s for dinner?’

  ‘Your head on a plate.’

  That night I woke up to find the bed sheet underneath me soaking. Crikey, I must have peed in my sleep! Then, when I tried to get up. I felt a sharp pain in my gut and a whoosh of watery fluid gushed down my legs. Oh, my God, I was in labour.

  ‘James!’ I shrieked. ‘I’m having the baby!’

  ‘What?’ he said, struggling to wake up from a deep sleep.

  ‘Look,’ I said, pointing to the bed with a shaking finger. ‘My waters have broken. Shit, James, it’s too early – I’m seven weeks too early,’ I said, beginning to cry. This wasn’t right. It was too soon. The baby was too small. Oh, God, please, don’t let there be anything wrong, I prayed.

  James dived into action, like an army pro. Within minutes he was dressed, had helped me into my dressing-gown and brought me downstairs. He went back up, woke Babs and told her she was about to earn her keep. ‘Emma’s waters have broken and I’m taking her to hospital. Look after Yuri, and if there are any problems, call me on the mobile,’ he said, as he ran back down to me.

  Babs followed him, rubbing sleep out of her eyes. ‘What’s going on? Jesus, are you OK, Emma?’ she asked, looking concerned.

  Christ, I thought, I must look awful if Babs is worried. I nodded. I was afraid to speak. Pure terror was running through my veins. Was my baby going to die? Why was I in labour so early?

  James bundled me into the car. Babs stuck her head in and told me not to worry. ‘I’ll hold the fort here. Don’t sweat it, you’ll be fine. Babies are always popping out early,’ she said, and squeezed my arm.

  James drove like a maniac to the hospital, breaking every red light on the way. Thankfully, at two in the morning traffic was scarce. He rammed the car up outside Reception and charged in to find help.

  A nurse came running out with him and helped me into a wheelchair. I was rushed in and, after a preliminary examination by a midwife, I was given something to slow down the contractions while they contacted Dr Philips.