Moonlight, motorcycles and bad boys

by Hallberg Lynnette

  She picked the pages back up.

  …and we married without telling anyone, not even my parents.

  “Oh, my God!” She threw back the bedcovers and jumped out of bed. “I can’t believe this!”

  She moved to the window. Resting her forehead on the glass, she stared out over the quiet street. Finally, she sat on the bed’s edge and picked up the letter again.

  Your mother had no idea. I lied. I told her I couldn’t come home because I had to work—and I did, to meet my obligations as a newly married man. Rent, food, doctor bills. The money my parents sent covered my school expenses so I could continue my college courses.

  It turned out Jenna suffered from depression and had for years. The pregnancy triggered it again, and I didn’t know how to handle it, or her.

  One night I came home from work and found her unconscious on the kitchen floor. She’d swallowed a bottle of pills. I contacted her parents and explained the situation. She’d suffered severe brain damage, and the doctors gave her only a day, two at the most. Our baby had already died.

  It turned out she came from a very wealthy family, and her parents insisted I leave. They said they’d take care of everything, that I’d already done enough. I was not to attend her funeral or contact her family. Ever.

  I was twenty-one years old, Katie Sara. I was grieving. God help me, I kissed my dying wife good-bye and left. I didn’t know what else to do. They flew her to their country estate to die, and I tried to pick up the pieces of my life.

  After I finished my last semester, I returned home to your mother. It’s my shame that I married her as a widower without telling her. I didn’t want to hurt her. Not ever. I kept my first marriage a secret. From everyone.

  So her mother hadn’t known, Katie Sara realized. Still didn’t.

  But here, daughter, is my deepest, darkest secret. The secret I could not face you or your mother with. The truth even I didn’t know until a letter arrived at the bank just before the holidays your junior year. Addressed to me personally, it bore British postage. It turns out Jenna lived for another two years.

  Katie Sara’s heart bumped to a stop, then roared to life again at double speed. She wanted to throw the letter in the trash. How could any of this be true?

  The doctors had given her a day or two. I assumed they were correct and never heard otherwise from her family. I compounded the error a thousand times over because I never checked. Therefore, I wasn’t a widower, and I didn’t divorce Jenna.

  Katie Sara’s throat tightened. Her heart hammered against her ribs. Rhonda had warned her the truth might not be pretty. But this…far, far worse than anything she could ever have imagined.

  When I married your mother, I was already a married man.

  Unable to breathe, she dropped her head between her knees. Snatching up the letter, she read the words a second time before going on.

  The secret burned a hole through my soul. The letter, after all those years, asked for money in exchange for silence. One of the guys I went to college with had been here on a business trip, met your mother, and put two and two together. He figured it added up to a big payday for him.

  I decided instead to tell your mother…to make things right…remarry her if she’d still have me. But God help me, I just couldn’t do it. I’d lived the lie too long.

  Katie Sara could certainly appreciate that feeling. But while her mother stood in church in her white wedding gown, the real Mrs. McMichaels lay in a coma somewhere. Her parents’ marriage had been a sham.

  Her daddy! How could he have done this? Her fist closed on the pages, crumpling the paper.

  For a long while, she simply lay on the bed staring up at the ceiling, feeling disoriented. Her entire world had just shifted so violently she felt in danger of sliding off the edge.

  And in a motel room here in Paradox, her son slept. Her life had deviated so far off course, she wasn’t sure normal existed any more.

  Her head ached.

  The letter taunted her. Smoothing the pages, she knew she had to finish it. It surely couldn’t get any worse.

  I honestly thought I could borrow from the bank, cover my trail, and somehow make it all right before anyone found out. I took a chance and lost. Lost everything.

  So you see, sugar, I couldn’t tell Cavanaugh what I’d done with the money. It would have meant airing all of this in public, and that would have killed your mother. Far, far better to spend an extra year or two in prison.

  Better that than to have to face your mother with the fact there’d been another Mrs. Ralph McMichaels before her—and that I’d never told her. That, in fact, she and I had never legally been married.

  I did not intentionally set out to hurt anyone. I did, however, allow circumstances to set my course rather than steer my own ship. My fault. My blame.

  If you decide to share what I’ve written with your mother, please tell her I’ve loved her always and that I hope she’s found a new love and a new life. She deserves both. I would never, ever have married her had I known Jenna was still alive without getting an annulment first. I would never have knowingly committed bigamy. Please believe me. My biggest mistake was in not waiting for your mother in the first place.

  There’s very little else for me to say, Katie Sara, except that I hope you’ll not let this overshadow the true love I have for you. You are my daughter, my life. You are everything to me. You have made my life worth living, and I love you.

  I hope your life is filled to overflowing with true happiness and love.

  I love you now and always,

  Daddy

  Katie Sara’s hands trembled. A cold unlike any she’d ever known invaded her body despite the fact that it was deep Georgia summer. Her daddy had already been married when he’d married her mother. That meant—

  Running to the window, she threw it open, stuck her head out and drew in large gulps of air.

  She was illegitimate. Just like Danny. Her own mother, who had been so afraid someone might find out Katie Sara had gotten pregnant out of wedlock, had done that very same thing herself—albeit unknowingly.

  A fit of manic giggles overtook her. Cupping her hand over her mouth, she drew her head back in the window, recognizing the signs of hysteria. She had to get hold of herself.

  How could her daddy have done this to them? How could he have been so careless?

  He’d stolen the money to hide his secret from her and her mother. To keep from destroying their lives, he’d given his own. She’d far rather he’d simply told them. They’d have dealt with it. The three of them. As a family.

  A photo of her father sat on her dresser. She picked it up, studying it as she would a stranger, then replaced it, facedown.

  ****

  The morning couldn’t have been more beautiful. Katie Sara sat on her old swing in the backyard and watched the sun’s first soft promise spread over the Earth. With it a few birds began their search for breakfast, hopping from branch to branch, twittering and twilling.

  So peaceful. Healing.

  Exactly what she needed after last night, before today.

  The air was still cool and dry enough to fool a person into believing the day might be bearable. Give it another hour, she thought, and it would heat up to a steam boiler.

  Her father must have suffered, his secret jabbing and eating away at him. Had he ever been able to put it out of his mind? To give up their life together rather than tell them—

  He’d definitely done the right thing leaving her the letter. She was strong enough to deal with the truth—or would be eventually—and she did deserve to know why she’d lost her daddy. But her mother? He’d pegged her, too. She seriously doubted Claudia could handle this truth. She certainly wouldn’t have been able to deal with the scandal. Better for her to lose her husband.

  Talk about irony. Katie Sara had to leave town so no one would know she’d given birth to an illegitimate child, and all along, she’d been one—technically.

  Her life had become a caricatu
re of itself.

  She’d just taken a sip of coffee when she heard Reiner out front. “I’m back here.”

  When he peeked around the corner of the house, she had to laugh. “You look like heck. What are you doing up so early?”

  “Might ask the same of you.”

  In answer, she held up the coffee pot she’d carried out with her. “Want a cup?”

  “It’s that, or I’ll arm wrestle you for yours.”

  “That bad, huh? Well, you’re in luck. I grabbed two mugs on my way out. Sometimes Mrs. Jones comes over for a cup.”

  He took the coffee. “Did you read your daddy’s letter?”

  Her imposed serenity shattered. “What is this? The Spanish Inquisition?”

  “Just tryin’ to make polite conversation.”

  “There’s nothing polite about you.”

  “Ouch, I thought Chia was the one with claws.”

  “Actually, he’s safe. The vet declawed him. You’ve been keeping an eye on the wrong one.”

  “Boy, ain’t that the truth.”

  Bull’s-eye again. And she’d opened herself to that shot. She ran a finger around her coffee cup’s rim.

  Matter-of-factly, he said, “Well, life sucks sometimes. You have to get over it.”

  She wanted to throw her coffee in his oh-so-damn-handsome face. How could he turn that hot blood so cold? Instead, she just shook her head.

  The clock ticked away the minutes, all too precious and few, left with her child. This would never be repeated. Couldn’t be. He had a family, one that deserved his love and loyalty. It would be wrong to divide those feelings, to push and pull him in two directions. He belonged with the Wellners. They were his family, his real family.

  The choice had been made years before. By her.

  Poor Reiner. He made it tough to feel sorry for him, though. He was being a real ass. But not around Danny, thank God.

  Reiner draped himself in her wooden lawn chair, a sulky, discontented expression on his handsome face.

  Oh, well. What had he said? Life sucked. Get over it.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  The talent show went off without a hitch. Beth and Felicity, along with the entire cast and crew, took bows to a standing ovation. Danny beamed from the front row while his cousin presented a check to Nile Hamilton and Homer Griffin. The Senior Citizen Center would soon be redecorated—top to bottom.

  “This has been the coolest!” Danny shoved his hands in his pockets.

  Felicity gave him a big hug. “We need to keep in touch, cuz!”

  “You bet!”

  Felicity scooted across to Bel’s car. The two—along with Reiner’s Platinum American Express card—were heading to Atlanta for an overnight shopping trip. Reiner figured he was actually getting off pretty easy. Bel would drag her through the malls. All he had to do was write the checks.

  The Wellners and Danny stood at the far end of the parking lot with Katie Sara and him, saying their farewells. They’d talked about driving back to Katie Sara’s, but that would only prolong the agony.

  Reiner extended his hand to Bryce, then to Barbara. “I want to thank you again. Both for the last couple of days and for the fantastic job you’re doing with Danny.”

  “We love him,” Bryce said simply.

  Together, they watched Danny walk to the gray sedan.

  Katie Sara’s heart shattered into a million pieces. Reiner’s arms tightened around her. He laid his cheek against hers, and she realized his was wet with tears, also.

  A sob convulsed from her.

  Then Danny turned, a grin on his face, and waved at them. “I’ll call when I get home. Let you know we made it okay.”

  “Thanks, bud!” Reiner said, his voice rough.

  Danny opened his car door, put one foot in. Katie Sara saw him lean toward his mother—his mother!—and say something.

  She nodded, and Danny sprinted back towards them. They met him halfway. He wrapped his arms around her waist, hid his face. “Thanks. For everything. I mean… I love you. I love you both.” He looked up at Reiner. “And I love—” His young face clouded, and he turned into Katie Sara again.

  “Your mom and dad,” she whispered into his dark, curly hair. “That’s as it should be, Danny. They love you. You’re their son.”

  “Yeah.”

  Reiner knelt in front of Danny. “We’ll stay in touch. We’ll always be here, son. Anytime. All you have to do is call.” He nodded toward the car. “But those two… They’re your real parents.” He wiped at his eyes, then kissed the top of his son’s head.

  Katie Sara could barely breathe, and she knew how much this was costing Reiner. Giving Danny one more squeeze, one more kiss, she set him free. Again!

  This time he hopped in the car and shut the door.

  “‘Bye, baby,” she whispered.

  They watched Danny wave through the back window till the car disappeared from sight. Neither spoke. A slight Georgia breeze blew, carrying with it the scent of wisteria and jasmine. A bee hurried past.

  Reiner’s arm dropped to his side. “Gotta go. Been real, Katie Sara. Thanks for the memories.” He tipped his head in the direction Danny’s car had traveled. “All of them.”

  Then he walked away, leaving her in the empty parking lot.

  Alone. Again.

  But, oh, so much worse this time. Who knew there could be so many levels of loneliness?

  ****

  Reiner waited till he got Danny’s call telling him he’d made it home safely. Then he unplugged the damn phones, locked the doors, and shut out the world. Who needed it?

  He took a cold six-pack into his office and turned on the computer. Time to settle down and get some writing done. His agent kept calling, bugging him about his deadline. No big deal! He’d get the damn book finished.

  Better go back a chapter, read it, and get his head into the story. Hunkered over his computer, he set to work.

  Rubbing his neck, he glanced out the window. When had it gotten dark? The clock on his computer said 10:12. That couldn’t be right! He checked a second clock. Jeez! He tipped back his Coors and finished it off. Crushing the can, he made a two-pointer into the wastebasket.

  Fat lot of good he’d done in here. He’d set in front of this freaking computer all afternoon and evening and managed to thoroughly mess up the chapter he’d been working on. At this point, his poor sleuth, Dirk Maverick, didn’t have a clue who’d killed the priest or stolen the money. But then how the hell could he? Reiner didn’t even know any more. Katie Sara had screwed up everything! Even this.

  He grabbed another Coors and headed out to the pool. Maybe a swim would cool him off. Stripping, he flicked a towel from the rack and wrapped it around himself. When he got outside, he dropped it, set his beer down on the edge of the pool, and slid in.

  Damn, he hurt.

  He flopped to his back and floated listlessly. He had a son, and he’d lost him today.

  And his Katie Sara. This was one speed bump they would never make it over. Not after the way he’d treated her.

  Not after the way she’d lied to him, he meant, and he swam to the side of the pool for his beer.

  ****

  “You ought to be out with Tim tonight, Rhonda.” Katie Sara slid onto a worn vinyl chair. Shady Point, with its home-cooking and easy-on-the-pocket prices, had been a gathering spot for Paradoxians for years. Its homemade cinnamon rolls and hot roast beef sandwiches made up for its total lack of décor.

  “Nonsense. Besides, the girls and I are goin’ up to the mountains with him next weekend when he visits his mom and dad.”

  “Oh, really?”

  “Yes, really.” Rhonda pushed at her curls. “Do I need to be worried about this? I haven’t seen them in ages. They moved up there right after they retired.”

  “Aunt Frannie and Uncle Jim rock! You’ll love them, and they’ll adore these two.” She tipped her head at the girls. “So does this mean…”

  “Just
keepin’ him company.” Rhonda grinned.

  “Great. You can spend your time with him, then, because I don’t need looking after.”

  “Like heck you don’t. Have you seen yourself in the mirror lately? It’s been a week since—well, since Danny left, and I swear, you’ve lost ten pounds.”

  “Don’t be silly.”

  “I’m not.” Rhonda reached for her hand. “You’ve hardly been out of the house.”

  “Summer school’s over. I’ve been catching up on chores around the house. I barely got moved in, you know, when I started working, so now I’m doing all the stuff I didn’t get around to.”

  “Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Rhonda said.

  “Yeah, yeah,” Krista mimicked.

  They laughed.

  “Well, I’m not out with Tim. I’m here with you and my two best girls. So that’s that.”

  “Yes, ma’am.” Katie Sara picked up the menu. “So what’ll we have? Banana splits?”

  “Not for dinner!” Krista said. “Mama will get mad!”

  “You got that right, little one. I’m glad somebody’s got some sense.” Rhonda hugged her child.

  Nicole read the menu to her sister.

  The door opened, and Reiner walked in with Felicity. Baby Anna straddled his hip. Katie Sara’s heart skipped a beat, and then broke all over again as their eyes met over the little girl’s head, his cold as ice, hard as flint.

  No forgiveness.

  Mary and Rocco came through the door, laughing. When they saw Katie Sara, they both stopped.

  “Hi, Katie Sara.”

  “Hi, Mary.”

  As Reiner’s group settled into seats, Katie Sara hid behind her menu, praying she wouldn’t embarrass herself.

  “Do you want to leave?” Rhonda asked.

  “No.”

  “We can.”

  “I wanna eat,” Krista whined.

  “Of course you do, sugar. And we will,” Katie Sara said. “Let’s just do this, Rhonda. Sooner or later it was bound to happen. I have to learn to deal with it.” If only she could breathe.

  “Do you want to at least trade sides?” Rhonda asked. “That way you won’t have to look at him.”