Marybeth took the plate, which held peas and two pieces of rabbit. “Thank you, Ella,” she whispered.
“I told you, it’s for Danny.”
Marybeth didn’t argue with the woman, nor did she believe her. In everything she did she refused to go against her husband. Marybeth knew that to give her the food was enough disobedience for one night. To admit Marybeth deserved the food was going too far.
Marybeth bit into the tender meat and chewed slowly. “And thank you, Josh Rivers,” she said softly.
The days turned hot, and the nights were miserable with mosquitoes. Spring rains turned the ground to mush, and Marybeth’s shoes and the hem of her dress were caked with mud. Not a day went by that wagons did not become mired in it, and for once the MacKinder men were useful. Though they helped reluctantly, at Cap’s orders, they put their backs to other wagons that became bogged down. Aaron Svensson also did his share of pushing and pulling, as did Josh Rivers.
John MacKinder seemed to understand for the moment that this was no time for arguing. The first order of business was survival. He helped push out wagons, and he grudgingly accepted meat from Josh Rivers, but never thanked him for it. Only Marybeth bothered to thank him, in spite of Mac’s insistence she not be allowed to eat any of the meat as long as she continued to disobey his order not to speak to Josh Rivers.
Neither Mac nor John realized that one night Josh remained in the shadows watching their camp. With seething anger he heard Mac order his wife to give Marybeth no meat. How he longed to walk right into their camp and take Marybeth away from there; still, how did he know how she would react? After all, no matter how she was treated, the MacKinders were still her family.
Josh spent the next three days away from the wagon train, so angry he knew he didn’t dare remain anywhere near Marybeth MacKinder. He hunted from dawn to dark, still finding it hard to sleep at night, his thoughts filled with fantasies about carrying Marybeth away from the MacKinders. He hardly knew her, yet he felt close to her, drawn to her. He hated the helpless feeling of wanting to protect her and being unable to do anything about it, and at the same time he chastised himself for having any feelings at all. He tried to concentrate on Oregon, and his plans for building his own empire there. Maybe Brand and Rachael and his younger brother, Luke, would join him someday.
He returned to the wagon train just before it reached the Platte. On his pack horses he carried two antelope, three rabbits and a wild turkey, everything already gutted to avoid spoiling. He spent the rest of the afternoon after he returned skinning and dividing up the meat, passing it out among the travelers in small enough portions that it would be eaten or smoked right away, since there was no way to preserve the meat in the hot weather.
When he came to the MacKinder camp, he stood holding the hind quarter of an antelope wrapped in its own skin. John and Mac looked up at him from their whiskey bottles, while Marybeth and Ella put more wood on the fire. Bill Stone backed away, noticing the look of hatred in Josh Rivers’ eyes, and Marybeth slowly rose, noticing herself that he looked different this time.
“Well, man, what are you standing there for,” Mac asked, rising. “What have you got for us this time?”
Josh glanced at Marybeth. “How are you tonight, Mrs. MacKinder?”
Marybeth frowned in curiosity at the way he posed the question. The sun had not yet set, and nearby campers could not help seeing and hearing the confrontation. Delores watched and listened closely, realizing something was wrong and hoping it would not mean trouble for Marybeth.
“I…I’m fine,” Marybeth answered.
“Oh? I thought maybe you were feeling a little weak.” Josh turned his eyes to Mac. “From lack of food.”
Marybeth’s eyes widened, and she felt her face reddening.
“What is that remark supposed to mean?” Mac sneered.
“It means that if you keep refusing your daughter-in-law any of this meat, Mr. MacKinder, this is the last meat you’ll get from me. And I’ll make sure neither one of the scouts or Cook or Cap or anybody else gives meat to the MacKinder men.” He kept his voice raised so that several people overheard. “Now people know, MacKinder, and they’ll be watching your camp. They’re not going to have much respect for men who keep their women half starved just because they choose to be decent and civil to others. You’re walking a thin line, MacKinder. People are fed up with the way you behave, and this is the last straw.” He walked closer and plunked the meat into Mac’s arms. “Enjoy your supper!”
Josh turned and left, and Marybeth stared after him, loving him, admiring his courage, wanting to run after him and thank him. Others stared a moment longer, until Mac turned on them and asked what they were looking at. Marybeth glanced at Delores, who gave her a soft smile.
“Well, you’ve gone and done it now, haven’t you,” Mac asked, stepping closer to Marybeth. “I suppose you went and told those gossiping women friends of yours about the meat!”
“I didn’t tell anyone.”
“How did he know then?”
“How would I know? Maybe he was standing near the camp one night and heard.”
“Which means that sonofabitch has been sneaking around our camp at night. Why? Is there something going on I don’t know about, Marybeth? You’d better not shame this family!”
Marybeth was so embarrassed her cheeks felt on fire. “How dare you suggest such a thing! I hardly know the man!”
“Ah, but you would like to. You think I haven’t seen the look in your eyes when he brings the meat?”
She glanced at John, who rose, glaring at her. She looked back at her father-in-law. “If I look differently at Josh Rivers, it’s because he’s a decent, kind man who treats other people with respect,” she answered boldly. “That is something I’ve never seen from MacKinder men!” She grabbed the meat from Mac. “Now go do your chores while Ella and I prepare the meat!”
Mac looked around, realizing others could still see and hear. He leaned closer, lowering his voice. “You think you’re so high and mighty. You remember what I said about Danny!” He stormed off, picking up a whiskey bottle on the way.
John just watched her as she turned to Ella with the meat and removed a butcher knife from a crate of utensils tied to the side of the wagon. She felt John’s eyes boring into her, knew what his reaction would be if he guessed for one minute that she might be interested in Josh Rivers. He finally turned and walked away, and Marybeth breathed a sigh of relief, inwardly grateful to Josh Rivers for sticking up for her. How she wished she could tell him in person, talk to him, get to know him better.
“Why do you keep Mac all stirred up?” Ella asked her then, angrily taking the knife from her. “All he does is take it out on me.”
“I haven’t done one thing wrong, and you know it. Must we give up all our principals because of the MacKinder tempers, Ella? There is a softer, kinder side to life. Maybe you can’t see it any more, but I’ll not lose sight of it. It has to do with love, Ella. That’s what is missing in this family. I’ll not raise Danny in such an atmosphere.”
Ella looked at her, alarm in her eyes. “What is that supposed to mean?”
“You know very well what it means. I’ll not have Danny turning into a John MacKinder, bragging and hating and bullying his way through life, incapable of compassion, void of feeling. That’s what you allowed him and Dan both to become, because of the way you have always bowed to Mac. It won’t be that way for me! Somehow I’ll protect Danny from all that!”
Ella studied the tears in her eyes. “Do you think I didn’t feel that way once? Do you think I didn’t have dreams once? Sometimes you get into situations that you know will never change, Marybeth, so you make the best of them. You accept what is and you go on.”
“Well, I’m not married to this family! I was married to Dan and he’s dead.” She saw Ella flinch at the statement. “I’m sorry, Ella, but I’m only saying that you had less of a choice. Mac is your husband, and if Dan had lived, I suppose I would have given up one
day just like you did. But now I don’t have to. I’m only standing up for what is right, and if that makes Mac angry, there is nothing I can do about it. It’s his problem, not mine.”
Ella sighed, blinking back her own tears’. “Get the fire going better. We’ve got to cook this meat.”
Marybeth watched her a moment, realizing then that even if Ella wanted to agree with her, she didn’t dare. With all the years of pent-up emotions behind her, the woman would probably go mad if she let go of her feelings now. It was easier for her if she remained hard and refused to face the truth.
The wagon train reached the Platte River, and the water was a welcome sight, but also frightening. The river was swollen from spring rains, and anyone could see that crossing it would not be easy or safe. Trapper and Devon rode up to Cap, whose own mount was a mule as big as a horse. The two scouts indicated the best place to cross. Both of them were soaked, so they had obviously ridden across themselves to find the most shallow spot, and that with the firmest bottom.
Cap motioned for the first wagon to go across. It belonged to a man and wife by the name of Stuart and Rebecca Ellerbee and their five children, the oldest fourteen and the youngest six. Marybeth watched Josh Rivers ride up to their wagon and offer to take two of the children across on his horse. The two scouts would take the remaining three so they would not have to be inside the wagon.
The three men carried the children across, all five of them clinging fearfully to the men as the water swirled to the horses’ saddles. Their mother watched anxiously, clasping her hands when her children reached the other side safely. Josh came back for the woman, and Stu Ellerbee headed his wagon and team into the river while Josh took his wife to the other side.
The Ellerbee wagon bogged down slightly midstream, and Josh and the scouts rode back into the river to help goad the oxen into trying harder. The wagon finally made it.
Bill Stone’s wagon was next; then came the MacKinder wagon. Josh rode up to their wagon, water running off his clothes and horse. He had left his gear on the opposite bank so it would have a chance to dry out. “The scouts and I will take the women and baby across,” he told Mac. “You and your son keep those oxen in line. If you veer too far one way or another, you’ll soak everything in the wagon. The path the first two wagons took is the most shallow.”
“We don’t need orders from you,” John told him. “And you’ll not be taking Marybeth with you.”
Ella had already been helped onto Devon’s horse, and the savage-looking scout headed toward the river. “Devon already has your mother, and Trapper is headed back to get the Gentry children. Don’t stand there arguing and holding up the train,” Josh told John. “We have a lot of wagons to get across that river. Just do what you’re told, MacKinder.”
Josh reached down and told Marybeth to hand Danny up to him. She obeyed, feeling safe and confident. He took his foot from the left stirrup and told Marybeth to pull herself up in front of him. “Hold on to the baby and I’ll hold on to both of you,” he told her.
John watched with seething rage as Marybeth seemed to gladly obey. She sat sideways as Josh scooted back slightly so she could hook one leg around his saddle horn. She took Danny, refusing to meet Josh’s eyes, desperately afraid of what she would feel being so close to him. She clung to Danny as Josh Rivers’ arm came around her waist.
“Hold Danny as high as you can,” he told her. “We’ll see if we can keep him from getting wet. Don’t be afraid.”
“I’m not,” she answered. Not with you, she wanted to add.
Josh headed into the river, and Marybeth felt the cold waters swirl around her dress and lower legs. She clung tightly to Danny, and Josh pressed his arm more tightly around her, as though to assure her not to be afraid. But she sensed it meant more than that. It was like a signal that he would watch out for her.
Josh breathed deeply of the scent of her auburn hair. Beneath his arm he felt a slender waist, and he longed to move his arm up and cup one of her full breasts in his hand, to touch her neck with his lips, to taste her mouth.
“You getting your fair share of meat?” he asked when they were half way across.
“Yes,” she answered, speaking up because of the rushing waters.
“You tell me if you aren’t,” he told her. “Don’t worry about John or Mac, understand?”
Marybeth didn’t answer. Her heart pounded wildly at the feel of his strong arm around her, at the wonderful warm rush of passion that moved through her as she leaned against his powerful chest. So close! He was so close. If she dared turn her head, his face would be inches from her own, close enough for their lips to touch. Was it wrong to feel this way about a near stranger, especially when she was still nursing a baby and that baby’s father had been in his grave only six months? Never in her life had any man made her feel this way before. This was the way a woman was supposed to feel about a man, and she greatly envied Delores. Surely this was how Delores felt about Aaron. She thought how wonderful it must be to be proud of a husband instead of embarrassed and ashamed; to want a man rather than to be afraid of him and dread his very presence.
They rode up onto the opposite bank, but Josh did not release her right away. “Marybeth,” he said softly. “Look at me.”
She felt as though fire was searing her insides. She hesitantly turned her head, and his gentle brown eyes held her own. “Don’t let them destroy your spirit,” he told her. Their eyes held a moment longer, and it was torture for both of them to refrain from letting their lips touch. How she longed to know what it would be like; and how he longed to show her how a woman was supposed to be treated. He had already figured that if she was married to John MacKinder’s brother, her life must have been hell.
Marybeth looked away and Josh helped her climb down, his hand inadvertently brushing across a breast as he lowered her. Marybeth felt faint at the unexpected touch, and she refused to look up at him. He turned his horse and rode back across the river.
Marybeth joined Ella and watched as John and Mac cursed and shouted at their oxen until their wagon was across.
Next came Samuel and Florence Gentry, their three children already brought over by the scouts; then came Delores and Aaron Svensson, then Al and Bess Peters. Josh rode Bess’s ageing mother across, and the scouts brought the Peters’ two children. Then came Wilma and Cedrick Sleiter, but their wagon suddenly bogged down dangerously low. Several men waded into the river to push and pull at wagon and oxen, but the wagon seemed to be mired in the mucky river bottom.
“It’s too heavy,” Marybeth heard Cap shouting. “What’s she got in there?”
Marybeth watched Wilma walk closer to the river’s edge as the men talked. Wilma put a hand to her chest as her husband climbed inside the wagon.
“Well, get rid of them,” she heard Cap shout.
“No,” Wilma said quietly.
Minutes later a huge oak chest of drawers was hauled out of the wagon. Several men carried it to a deeper spot in the river and dropped it there.
“No!” Wilma screamed. “Cedrick, don’t do it!”
Next came a heavy headboard for a bed, and its wooden frame.
“Oh, my God, no! It’s all I have left of him! All I have left of James!” The woman waded into the river, screaming at her husband and the other men.
“Somebody get that woman out of the river!” Cap shouted.
“Cedrick, James made that for us! We can’t leave it behind!”
“We’ve got no choice, Wilma!” the man shouted to his wife. Even from a distance Marybeth could see tears in the man’s eyes. “We’ll never make the river crossings, let alone get over the mountains.”
“Damn you! Damn you to hell!” she screamed, while others watched in silence, sick with pity for Cedrick Sleiter. “Our son is dead and you take me away from his grave! Now you throw away the beautiful furniture he made us! Don’t do it, Cedrick! I won’t go on without that furniture!”
Josh rode over to the woman and tried to coax her out of the river,
but she refused. He finally dismounted and grabbed her from behind, keeping a tight hold on her arms as he dragged her back to higher ground. She kicked and screamed about her dead son, then broke into bitter sobbing. Marybeth handed Danny to Ella and hurried over with Delores and Florence to try to comfort the woman, while Josh kept hold of her until her husband got their wagon out of its muddy bed. With the elimination of the heavy oak furniture, the oxen easily pulled it the rest of the way across.
“You don’t need that furniture to remember your son,” Josh tried to tell the woman. “Hell, ma’am, I lost a whole ranch—home, furniture, everything I owned to my name, and a brother to outlaws down in Texas. Before that my Ma and Pa passed away. I reckon’ everybody here has suffered some kind of loss. But we’ve got our memories. I don’t have anything left of the only home I ever knew, and nothing left that belonged to my brother.”
There seemed to be no consoling the woman. Marybeth and the other women tried to comfort her as best they could, and Marybeth longed to ask Josh Rivers about his family in Texas. Her heart ached at his story, and she wanted so much to know more about him. What family did he have left? Why had he joined the wagon train so late?
Cedrick Sleiter came to his wife’s side then, and Josh carefully let go of her. Others backed away as Cedrick tried to hold the woman, but she pushed at him wildly, telling him not to touch her. She stumbled farther away from the others and knelt beside a rock, bending her head and weeping bitterly, crying her dead son’s name over and over. Marybeth couldn’t help feeling sorry for her husband, who watched with a look of unbearable grief and helplessness. She looked at Josh, seeing personal tragedy in his own eyes. She had so many questions, but knew there would be no opportunity to get them answered.
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