by Jessica Gray
Swallowing, he looked at her, “Great. I’m glad. Well, shall I call you a cab or…”
“Don’t bother. I already called from the bathroom and there should be one waiting downstairs by now. I’ll just let myself out.” Evelyn secretly hoped that he would grab her and stop her from leaving, but wasn’t overly surprised when she reached the elevator without him coming after her.
Michael Jennings had developed a stubborn streak and she meant to break it. She would play his game for a little while, but then he would end up playing hers and she was playing for keeps.
The Plan
Two weeks later…
“Evelyn, want to tell me what’s going on between you and Michael?” Victor had seen Michael leaving Evelyn’s house late last night. He had noticed a trend of Michael arriving at her house after 9 o’clock, staying for several hours, and then leaving. He never spent the night. Several nights a week, Evelyn would arrive home around midnight, but always alone. Something was going on with his two friends and he aimed to find out what.
“I don’t have any idea of what you’re talking about,” Evelyn tried for nonchalance, but looking at Victor realized she had failed.
“Okay. You want to play it that way, you got it. Why is Michael coming over to your house several nights a week, late I might add, and then leaving again several hours later? That is what I’m talking about.” Victor crossed his arms over his chest. He had already called Michael to task with no results. Miss Evelyn wasn’t going to get off so easy.
Evelyn tried to stare him down, she so did not want to hear Victor tell her how stupid she was being and she didn’t know if she could discuss her non-relationship with Michael without breaking down and crying. Lately, she had started to think that he would never change his mind about their sex-only interaction.
Outside of the bedroom, he bordered on being rude, and cynical. He had a snide comment for everything she said, and most days she just wanted to hit him. Victor had invited Michael to set up his office in their empty suite and Mandy had readily agreed to take on his secretarial duties. Evelyn had been given no say in the arrangements, and was confronted with Michael’s animosity on a daily basis. So why then, did she find herself seeking sexual gratification at his hands most nights?
She needed to have her head examined, but Victor was not her therapist of choice. He was blunt and if he knew what had been going on, he would be on both of their cases. Evelyn tried to think of some excuse that would explain Michael’s presence at her house so late…
“Quit trying to make up a plausible excuse and just tell me the truth. Evelyn, I’m worried about you and just want to help.”
Evelyn looked at Victor and couldn’t hold out any longer. The words came spilling forth in a tidal wave, “Michael and I are having sex, but we’re not in a relationship and we’re not friends.” Evelyn’ tried to calm her breathing down. Hearing the words audibly spoken made it so much worse. Losing the battle, she covered her face with her hands and began to cry.
Victor was horrified and angered that Michael had caused this. Pulling Evelyn out of her chair, he wrapped his arms around her and urged her to tell him everything. “Evelyn, it’s okay. Let me help. Tell me what’s going on. What you just described doesn’t sound like either you or Michael.”
“Remember the night we worked late to finish the package for the investors?” At Victor’s nod, she continued, “Well, Michael and I rode down in the elevator, I was really tired, and he brushed my hair back. The next thing I knew we were wrapped around each other in a cab headed for his hotel. “ She paused and blew her nose, “Victor, it felt so good to be held by him again. And, he made me feel things I’ve never felt before.” Blushing, she looked down, “I didn’t know that making love with someone could be so magical. I thought maybe the books were all just fantasy.”
Victor stiffened and Evelyn immediately knew he had misinterpreted her words, “Victor, no, I wasn’t a virgin, but my limited experiences had been just…blah… you know? It was so beautiful, but then Michael called it ‘sex’ and said he wanted to repeat it, but didn’t want a relationship and we could have a physical relationship with each other, but couldn’t sleep together, or hang out, or….”
“That bastard. I’m going to kill him.” Victor started to pull away and Evelyn grabbed his arm.
“No, stop. I agreed to it. I was angry at first, but then I thought maybe he was just hiding his feelings for me, and if I agreed to it, I could change his mind and we could become friends again.” Evelyn shrugged her shoulders, not knowing what else to say.
“Evelyn, I’ve seen and heard the way he treats you in the office. It’s despicable. How on earth can you sleep with someone after being treated that way?”
“That’s just it. We don’t sleep together. Michael doesn’t want anyone to know we’re having sex, so he goes out of his way to be mean. It hurt the first few days, but now I just ignore it. I’m so stupid!”
Victor shook her slightly, “You’re not stupid. He is. He’s throwing away everything and can’t even see it.”
Evelyn shook her head, despair filling her eyes, “What am I going to do? I don’t feel like he’s any closer to admitting he has feelings for me than when we started this. It’s breaking my heart.”
“Girl, you can’t keep doing this. Michael either needs to admit he cares for you and start treating you right or you need to kick him to the curb for good. You’re not doing either one of you any favors by continuing this charade.”
Evelyn nodded, “You’re right. I know you are, but when he’s holding me, I can convince myself that things are going to work out. I don’t know if I’m ready for a life that doesn’t involve him holding me close. I was so lonely before, I don’t know if I can let him go.” Tears spilled over her cheeks again as the futility of her situation became clearer. Michael and she were never going to resolve their differences if things remained the same.
Freaking Out
She had to find a way to break this cycle. This thought clouded Evelyn’s mind as she waited for Michael to buzz her in. He had moved into a upscale apartment, complete with a doorman and buzzer several weeks earlier. He didn’t say anything to her, he just pushed the button and she heard the lock disengage.
Entering the building, she waited patiently for the elevator and rode it up in silence. Lost in her depressing thoughts. She hadn’t slept well for over a week, not since coming clean with Victor about her and Michael’s relationship, or lack thereof. Victor’s attitude toward Michael had become very antagonistic and she blamed herself for disrupting their friendship. Michael never discussed it with her, but she knew he blamed her for that as well. Michael never discussed anything with her.
When Michael opened the door, she gave him a small smile and determined that they were going to have a discussion of some sort this evening. Even it involved the weather, it would at least be some sort of communication. That thought on her mind, she opened her mouth to speak, only to find her words cut off as Michael pulled her against him and claimed her lips in a ravenous kiss.
Kicking the door closed, he pulled her coat off as he pushed her up against the wall. Evelyn moaned into his mouth, and attempted to pull away, but he caged her head between his hands and held her still while he ravished her with teeth and tongue.
When she attempted to push him away, he used his hands to push both her arms high above her head, and held them there, against the wall with one of his own. His free hand returned to unbutton her blouse and push it from her body.
Growling at her to leave her hands above her head, he used both hands to push her skirt up around her waist and then lifted her up so that her core met his. Pushing her against the wall with his pelvis, the continued his sensual assault on her body with his hands. Everywhere he touched, a small spark of fire rushed to her center. She was on fire and only Michael could put the flames out.
Not happy with their location, Michael hitched her legs around his hips and carried her to the couch. Bringing her down
on top of him, he continued to ravage her mouth and let his hands roam. When he encountered the skirt around her waist, her urged to a standing position and tugged it off of her.
Removing his own clothes next, he then pulled her down, straddling his lap and took her mouth again. His hands played her body like a master pianist. After several weeks, he knew her body more intimately than anyone. He knew where her sensitive spots were, and just how to touch her and make her go up in flames.
Evelyn was rushing headlong into bliss. In the back of her mind, there was something she wanted to say to Michael, but his hands were turning her thoughts into shattered pieces of glass, and she gave herself over to his mastery of her body. Running her fingers through his hair, she luxuriated in the silky strands and heard him moan in response.
Michael was out of control, and didn’t care. His need for Evelyn’s body had become a beast he could no longer contain. His intent had been to take her in his bed, but upon seeing her standing in his doorway, his inner beast had pounced upon her and there was no turning back. He couldn’t seem to get enough of her.
Letting his hands wander lower, he found her more than ready for him and quickly joined them together. Evelyn had assured him that a condom was unnecessary since she was on the pill, and he had never been more thankful than this moment. She felt like paradise and coming home all rolled into one. Not letting his mind travel too far down that emotional path, he quickened his pace and was pleased to hear her gasp as her desire ratcheted up another level.
He wanted to make her scream tonight. He couldn’t have said what was driving him, but tonight, he wanted to hear her scream his name when she reached that final peak. Leaning back against the couch, he used his hands around her hips to direct the pace of their lovemaking until finally, he wrapped her in his arms and let his body take over. Wanting her to fall off the cliff with him, he leaned down and whispered in her ear, “Come with me, Evie. Now.”
Evelyn’s heart did a triple flip at hearing him use the shortened version of her name. He was the only one to have ever done so, and hearing it now had Evelyn pulling him closer. Everything was going to be all right. They were going to get through this and live happily ever after.
He heard her scream his name just as he went over the edge himself; iIt was a sound he would carry with him for the rest of his life. Their lovemaking had been different tonight, more intense and bordering on desperate. Michael felt it, but was too drained to analyze it much further right now. He needed to catch his breath.
Readjusting his position on the couch, he pulled a boneless Evelyn down against his chest and wrapped his arms around her. He need for her had been so intense; he still felt the hunger burning inside. He would let them both rest for a bit before he started round two.
Evelyn felt completely drained and relaxed. The day’s worries and stress had vanished and she allowed Michael to adjust her to a more comfortable position against his chest. Normally, she would rest for a minute and then gather her belongings and head home. Tonight, she was more tired than usual and allowed her eyes to close as she listened to his heartbeat beneath her ear. There had been a difference in their joining tonight, almost as if their bodies sensed a change was coming.
Sighing and deciding to put her mind at rest for a little while longer, Evelyn snuggled more closely to Michael and enjoyed the sense of rightness in being held in his arms. It might never become a reality, but she would take the fantasy for as long as it lasted.
*****
Michael awoke to the feeling of pins and needles in his shoulder and tried to move it, hoping to ease the discomfort. It was then that he felt the warm weight, resting half on top of his, the warm breath wafting over his chest in an even rhythm.
Opening his eyes, he glanced down, shocked to see Evelyn sleeping in his arms, naked and with the blanket from the back of the couch half covering her and him. Tightening his hold, he rolled her off of him, taking care so that she didn’t end up lying on the floor, and quickly stood up.
Evelyn felt Michael stir and opened her eyes to see him hurriedly donning his boxers, while glaring at her. She knew her hair was probably a complete mess, but did it really deserve that horrible expression? Reaching up, she attempted to bring some order to her unruly hair, while still holding the blanket across her body to preserve her privacy.
After last night, she would have expected to feel less shy around Michael, but his expression and the vibe coming from him had her defenses up and for some reason she suddenly felt a strong desire to cry. Straightening herself on the couch, she glanced around for a clock. Not seeing one, she asked, “What time is it?”
Michael jumped when she spoke as if a thousand volts of electricity had just hit his body. “It’s morning. That’s what time it is. It’s morning. You fell asleep. You weren’t supposed to sleep over.” Michael ran his hands through his hair, knowing that he sounded like a crazy man, but she had agreed to his rules, and had intentionally broken one.
Deep inside he realized that he was freaking out because for a moment, when he had first woken up, he had been happy to see her still in his arms. Then reality had hit, and in an instant, he had seen all of his carefully built walls come crashing down, leaving his heart open and vulnerable.
“Michael, I can see that it’s morning. I haven’t been sleeping well, and you wore me out.” Evelyn wrapped the blanket around herself and started gathering up the scattered pieces of her clothing.
“Don’t blame this on me. You agreed to no sleep overs, yet here you are!” Michael threw his hands up in the air as he delivered the accusation. In the back of his mind, he knew he was being unreasonable, but was incapable of stopping. “We agreed that after sex, whoever was at the wrong house would leave. You stayed.”
Evelyn turned, clothing in her hands, and watched as Michael finished his tirade. “Michael, we both fell asleep. It was only a matter of time before that happened. I’m surprised it hasn’t happened before now. I don’t see why you’re so upset.”
“You broke the rules…” Michael continued.
Evelyn shook her head at him, “We both broke the rules then. I seem to remember waking up on top of you a few moments ago. You broke the rule as well. And speaking of rules, I think we need to re-visit them, this is not working for me.”
Evelyn finished pulling her pants on and draped the blanket across the back of the couch. After finishing buttoning her blouse, she looked up to see Michael staring at her in anger and shaking his head. “What?”
“We are not re-visiting the rules. They are non-negotiable. “ Michael could feel the ice around his heart starting to crack and crossed his arms over his chest.
Sighing, Evelyn had been afraid that he would fight her when it came to admitting his feelings for her. Taking a deep breath, she forged ahead, “Michael, I can’t do this anymore. I can’t pretend that I don’t have feelings for you. I can’t pretend that your indifference and treatment of me outside the bedroom doesn’t hurt, because it does. I can’t pretend that I don’t miss your friendship. I need more.” Evelyn tried to keep the plea out of her voice, and was only mildly successful.
Michael shook his head, “No. No emotions, no friendship, no relationship. We agreed on sex only. That’s all I can offer you. Take it or leave it.”
Evelyn stared at him. He was so stubborn. “You mean it’s all you are willing to offer me. I know you have feelings for me, I can feel it when we make love…”
“Don’t go confusing great sex with lovemaking. They are not the same and the latter has nothing to do with us.”
Hurt speared through Evelyn to hear Michael speak so plainly and degrade what they had shared together. They had made love, on multiple occasions and there was no way she was going to let him make it into something dirty, or less than what it was. “It was making love. You know and I know it.”
Michael looked at her and felt the ice around his heart crack a little more. No! He wouldn’t let her destroy him again. He couldn’t. There was no way he could surv
ive a second heartbreak. “It was sex and that’s all. Delude yourself into thinking it was something else if it makes you feel better, but it was only sex. I don’t do relationships or love.”
“Michael…”
“No! Evelyn, you need to understand where this is going. Nowhere! There is no future for us, you took care of that three years ago.”
“Michael, I’ve tried to apologize for that but you won’t….”
Cutting her off, he continued, “I don’t want to hear it. I really don’t. That was in the past and this is the now.”
Evelyn stared at him as her heart broke for the final time. He was serious. He wasn’t willing to let his guard down and take a chance with his heart again. Sorrow for what might have been swamped her and left her feeling empty inside. Grabbing her jacket and purse, she looked at him one last time, “Michael, I feel sorry for you. I played things your way, hoping that you would eventually see my feelings for you were real, and that you would let your heart heal, but I can’t do this anymore. I can’t keep putting my heart out there and watching you trample all over it, time after time. I won’t. Goodbye.”