Keesh doesn’t show up to gym.
She’s a no show for English.
I dodged Steph’s questions during P.E., which is pretty difficult since she’s persistent, but I can’t hold back anymore.
I have to make a choice.
My choice is to tell my friends one of us has taken up a new hobby.
“You guys, I’ve got to talk to you about something,” my voice cracks.
“Hey, hon. What’s wrong?” Eric puts his arm around me.
“It’s about Keesha.”
“Where is she anyway?” Amy asks.
My friends are staring at me. Everyone else in class is talking too, even though we’re supposed to be eating quietly while we watch Romeo and Juliet. But Ms. Gelson doesn’t seem to mind since it’s just a party day.
“She took off with some tall chick during lunch,” Steph says, confused. “But I don’t know who it was or where she went.”
“I think I do.” I put my head down.
Eric squeezes my shoulder. “Megan. Tell us what’s going on.”
“She’s on drugs,” Amy states.
“What?” Steph screeches.
“You know?” I ask.
“Wait. Keesh is on drugs and you both knew, but didn’t tell me,” she lowers her voice to a whisper.
“Sorry, Steph. I found out and I didn’t want to believe it and I didn’t know what to do. She’s been acting normal so I thought maybe she just did it once, but now I think I’m wrong,” I cry, trying to catch my breath.
I try to keep my voice down and my face hidden because I don’t want to draw any more attention to our group than I already have.
“Come on, that’s not the kind of friendship we have. We don’t just let each other do stupid shit and not say anything. We talk about everything. It was real stupid not to tell us. We’re better than that.” Steph shakes her head with disappointment.
“What’s she doing?” Eric asks.
“She’s smoking weed with her soccer team,” Amy informs them.
How does she know this?
“Amy, how did you know?” I ask, wiping the tears from my eyes.
Damn. I’m such a baby. I cry for everything. I can’t help it. I’m an emotional person.
“Jen told me,” she explains. “She heard some rumors and let me know. She said I could do whatever I wanted with the information but she doesn’t want to get involved. I know how both of you get. Look at you, Meg. You’re crying and you didn’t even do anything wrong. So I thought I’d try to take care of it myself and then I’d tell you guys.”
“So did you come up with anything?” I have zilch for ideas.
“I told Keesh I knew and I was going to tell her parents if she didn’t stop,” Amy went on. “She’s been smoking with them since Thanksgiving which is why she didn’t get us all together like usual. That Nicole chick is something else. When I confronted Keesh, Nicole cussed me out and Keesha didn’t say a word. Not a single thing.”
“So that’s why she’s been a total bitch to you then,” Steph exclaims.
“That and I told her parents,” Amy mutters.
“You did what?” I’m in shock again. “What did they say?”
Amy continues, “Keesh’s mom was really upset, and her dad got pissed. I seriously thought her mom was gonna kick Nicole’s ass. Both her parents thanked me and told me they’d handle it from here, so I just haven’t said anything else.”
“Holy crap,” I say, loudly. “What do we do now? She skipped both periods with the stupid witch.”
“Hey, you ditch all the time, Meg,” Steph reminds me.
“Yeah. To go to the Steel Grill, not to get high.”
“Chill, you guys,” Eric says, trying to quiet us down.
“I’m gonna ask Ms. Gelson if I can go to the bathroom and I’m gonna call her mom. If we don’t do something now, she’s gonna be with those chicks all during break and who knows what’s gonna happen.”
Amy stands up.
“Are you sure you want to?” I ask. “I could call.”
“She already hates me,” Amy says. “She doesn’t have to get pissed at you guys too. I won’t even tell her you guys know about it.”
She walks over to Ms. Gelson, then leaves the room.
“This is some shit,” Eric says.
“Tell me about it,” Steph and I mutter at the same time.
Gosh…how could I ever be so rude to Amy? Look at what she’s doing for Keesha. Look at what she’s doing for all of us. This is the old Amy I know. This is the sensitive, caring Amy who was fun to be around before we had to grow up. I feel guilty now for giving her such a hard time and for thinking bad thoughts behind her back.
Chapter Twenty
Word travels fast because when I get home early from soccer practice, both my parents are waiting for me with…a DRUG TEST. Yes. I said a drug test. See, my friends and I have been in the same classes for years. Fortunately, or unfortunately, whatever you want to call it, our parents have gotten to know each other really well. That’s how it works with honors students. Back to School Nights, Open Houses, Report Card Pick-up—it doesn’t matter which event, our parents always run into each other because we have the same teachers. We usually use this to our advantage because our parents trust each other and never bother to check up on us…until now.
“Sit down, Megan Ann Miller.”
Oh Shit. My dad used my whole name.
And he’s home early.
This is not a good sign.
“Okay. What’s going on, Mom? Dad?”
“Keesha’s mother phoned and told us what’s going on with her,” my mother explains.
I can tell she is uncomfortable with saying out loud what is really going on with Keesha. I feel the same way. This is not a conversation I want to be having with my parents.
“Did you know about this, Meg?” My dad asks.
“No,” I start to lie, but then I quickly change my mind. “Well yes, I did but I just didn’t know what to say or do.”
My eyes are drowning in tears already. I can feel them swelling up with each second.
“Are you doing the same thing as Keesha, Megan?” my mom asks with her head down.
I think she is crying too. I can hear soft sniffles coming from her direction.
“Nooo,” I cry out. “You think I’m that stupid. I went to her house to do homework and she and her new friend started smoking weed. I freaked out and left. I was there for less than a minute once I figured out what they were doing. I would never smoke anything.”
Once I started talking, I couldn’t stop. I can’t believe they even asked. Sure, I’m no saint, but I don’t do drugs.
“Well then,” Dad says, firmly, “you won’t mind if we ask you to take this drug test then, right?”
He pushes a box across the counter. I pick it up and look at it. It is a drug test—just pee and you get the results. Seriously, like the pregnancy tests they show on commercials. Is this what this world has come to—over the counter drug tests?
“Whatever. Sure.” I laugh, sucking back my tears.
I don’t have anything to worry about.
I read the directions and I’m off to the bathroom. Within minutes, the results are in. ALL CLEAR. I’m drug free. I’m so relieved even though I already knew what the results would be.
My parents look relieved as well. Did they really think I was a druggie?
“Well, I’m happy with the results. I can’t say I’m surprised. But I’m still disappointed.” My mom has a glint of happiness in her eyes behind her frustration.
“Why, Mom? I don’t do drugs,” I raise my voice.
“Meg, your friend was in trouble and you didn’t say anything. Amy is the one who came forward. You guys all give her a hard time for being this spoiled brat, but she was the one who had the courage to help Keesha. She was the one who called her mom. You did nothing.” She runs her trembling hands through her hair, then wipes a few tears falling down her cheek.
It hurts me to see my m
om like this. I really disappointed her. It’s not a good feeling to have.
“There’s no excuse, but I was scared. This doesn’t happen every day, Mom. It’s not like a math test, I wasn’t prepared. I didn’t know what to do.” I cry even more. I need them to let me off the hook for this one. I can’t deal with their disappointment.
“It’s been a long day. Why don’t you just get some rest? I’d like you to plan on being home till after Christmas, okay. It wouldn’t hurt all of you to spend time with your families. We’ll see what comes next, after the holidays,” Dad explains.
“Do you know what’s happening with Keesha?”
“Uh, Kendra said they have a good family doctor so they’re gonna take Keesha to see him. I guess they’re gonna go from there based on his recommendations. I have a feeling she will be at home all of break. Maybe you should just give her family some space for now…give them a chance to figure this out. I’m sure Kendra will keep us updated,” Mom responds, rubbing her temple.
“Alright, I’m gonna go call the others.” I stand up to leave.
“Megan, if something like this happens again, please talk to us.” She looks up at me, pleading.
“Sure thing.”
As I walk to my room, I hear the door bell ring. I open it to find Amy, Alex, Eric, and Steph.
“Whoa. What are you guys doing here?”
“Kinda just happened we all had the same idea…I guess,” Steph speaks up first.
“Weird, huh?” Eric says.
“You think your parents would be cool with us coming in?” Amy asks, shivering.
I didn’t even notice when the weather turned cold. It’s like we skipped fall—going from the summer heat to the winter cold without anything in between.
“Come on in, everyone,” my mom shouts from behind me. “I figured you would all find each other at some point. Who’s this though?” She looks at Alex.
She has definitely heard of him, but she has never met Alex personally.
“Mrs. Miller, this is my boyfriend, Alex,” Amy introduces him.
“Oh. Hi, Alex. I’ve heard a lot about you.” She shakes his hand.
Did she really have to say that to him?
“Hey kids, I can fix a fire for you outside if you want to talk out there,” my dad offers.
Since when did my parents get to be so cool? This is not the norm.
I look at my friends and then we follow my dad outside. We grab some chairs, unfold them, and place them around the fire. It’s chilly out, but the burning embers and the crackling of the wood makes it warm and cozy.
“Hello, Mr. Miller, my name is Alex.” He holds his hand out to my father.
“Hey, Alex. Nice to finally meet you,” my dad says, with a little too much emphasis on finally. Not Dad too. Is this a conspiracy? I hope Eric didn’t notice. Maybe my parents know more about me than I thought.
“I can get us some drinks before we get settled,” I tell them. “I’ll get some sodas.”
I run in the house and return to find everyone already talking about Keesha. My parents are inside watching TV so we have some privacy. I’m anxious to see what everyone knows about what happened to her.
“So what’s the story?” I ask, passing out cans of soda, and then sitting down next to Eric.
He puts his hand on my leg just above my knee and I feel much better for the first time today.
“So, Keesh’s parents actually had to go looking for her because she wasn’t answering her cell and she was nowhere to be found,” Steph speaks up loudly, catching everyone’s attention.
Amy continues, “When Kendra called my mom to tell her what was going on, my mom asked Jen if she knew Nicole. Jen was just as worried as the rest of us so she told Kendra about this empty house next to school where a lot of kids go to do drugs and stuff.”
“That’s where they found her?” I interrupt.
“Yeah,” Amy continues. “Kendra actually called the school and the police. There were a lot of other kids from school there and a lot of the varsity soccer girls too. A crap load of people are getting suspended, and kicked off the team.”
“You didn’t hear anything at practice?” Eric asks. “All the guys were talking about it on my team.”
“No. I left early, remember? Plus, nobody said anything,” I tell them. “I didn’t notice anything either. This is big. I can’t believe so many people are involved.”
“Don’t be so naïve, Meg.” Alex looks straight at me. “This school is full of drugs. Take a look around every once and awhile…really. Just because none of us are doing them, doesn’t mean they’re not there. Actually, there’s a statistic that says almost fifty percent of twelfth graders in the country have actually smoked marijuana before.”
“I’m not naïve, Alex,” I say, defensively. “I guess I just never paid any attention because it’s not like I’m interested in doing drugs. Damn. That stat means out of all of us here, at least two of us will smoke weed by the time we’re in twelfth grade.”
There is silence.
“I have already.” Alex looks each of us in the eye, one by one.
“Me too,” Eric admits.
“Are you guys kidding?” Steph screeches. “You guys aren’t bad kids. We’re not bad kids. We’re good students. We’re not supposed to do drugs.” I can tell this revelation is upsetting to her.
Steph hangs her head low. She looks sad. Disappointed.
“I tried it last year,” Eric explains. “I was at a friend’s house and someone took out their stash. Everyone tried it, so I did it too. I didn’t like the way it made me feel though. Just lazy, dead, and hungry. So I never did it again and don’t plan on it.”
I look at Eric, trying not to think of him differently. I’m glad he’s being honest. I trust he’s serious about not doing it again.
“Yeah, it was pretty much the same with me,” Alex begins to tell his story, “but Ben and I did it a lot our sophomore year. We got comfortable at school, playing football, and hanging out with seniors. We tried it after a game and I liked being relaxed, but we just did it too much. All I wanted to do was kick back and eat, everything was funny, and my grades sucked. I had to take summer school for the last two summers to make up for it. We both got lucky. We got sick of it and we just stopped. But a lot of my old friends still do it. Well, they’re not really friends anymore. People who smoke weed or do other drugs don’t hang out with sober people. It’s a buzz kill.”
Wow. I had no idea. I’m really surprised by this news. “So what do we do about Keesh?”
“Nothing,” Alex blurts.
“What do you mean nothing?” Amy says.
“We can’t do nothing,” Steph urges.
“I think Alex means that Amy already did all we can do,” Eric explains. “Amy told her parents. Now it’s up to them and Keesha—actually, just Keesh. She has to make the choice. We just have to wait and see what happens.”
“That’s gonna be hard,” I tell them. “I’m like the most impatient person in the world. It’s killing me not to call her right now or just go to her house. This sucks.”
“Be patient, Megan.” Alex offers a quick smile. “Everything will work itself out…I promise.”
Eric grabs my hand and squeezes it, looking from me to Alex, and back to me again.
“Alex, that’s not something you can just promise,” Amy says, coldly.
“You’re right.” He pats her on the leg, “I was just trying to be optimistic and I am. I really think everything will be okay.”
“I hope so.” I look at him, meeting his stare. “I hope so.”
Eric pulls me closer to him and kisses my cheek.
Chapter Twenty One
Christmas Day is just like usual. Since I’m the only child, my parents don’t bother to wake me. We open up gifts when I get up, which is usually around nine o’clock—not too early, not too late. When I was younger, I would wake my parents around four in the morning because I was so anxious to see what came from Santa. Now, I
know better. I mostly get clothes from Aeropostale or Kohl’s, nothing fancy or too expensive. Every once in awhile, I might get a new CD, movie tickets, or some lip gloss in my stocking, as a bonus. Don’t get me wrong…I love Christmas, but it’s mostly for the little kids. They’re the ones who get all the cool gifts. I miss the days of getting Barbies or little craft kits with markers, crayons, and chalk.
This year I’m surprised. Guess what I got? Santa—aka Mom and Dad—got me an iPod. A real iPod. Not a fake mp3 player like the one I lost in the bushes with Keesh’s tampons. This is a real freakin’ iPod. And a good one too. I jump up and down and yell like crazy before I even sit down to really look at it. I caught a glimpse of the box and freaked. When I finally settle down, I realize my parents bought me a sixteen gig iPod Touch. Yes…the one with a touch screen. The memory is huge. I can fit like a million songs and a ton of movies on it. Actually just a few movies, but thousands of songs. They also got me a $100 iTunes card.
I squeeze both my parents till they beg me to stop.
“We wanted to get you something extra special, Meg,” my mom gushes. “We wanted to let you know we’re proud of you for making the right choices.”
My face drops. They gave me this expensive gift because I’m not a pothead like my friend. Guilt starts to set in. OMG. They think I’m still their sweet little girl who can do no wrong. I look down at my new iPod and look at them. I smile wildly. I can live with the guilt.
I hug my parents again, “Thanks, guys.”
It’s tradition to go to Amy’s for New Year’s Eve. Her parents always have a huge party. I don’t think they have much fun, but I know they like to show their guests a good time. They cater the best food—appetizers, dessert, and all—and have a huge bar full of liquor and beer. You name it, they have it.
It’s usually just the four of us girls who go to the party, but this year it’s a little different. Okay, a lot different. Keesha is still on lockdown. Her parents don’t let her out of their sight. Another change is the boyfriend factor. Amy has Alex and I have Eric. Josh and Jonathan crash the party too, but they’re like one of the girls. They aren’t hooking up with Keesh and Steph anymore—Keesh for obvious reasons. As for Steph and Josh…they both just started looking at other people.
So I'm A Double Threat Page 12