Apparently, high school couples have a limited life expectancy when it comes to relationships. The fact that Alex and Amy, and Eric and I, are still together is actually rare. Boys and girls our age seem to be hookin’ up with different people every other week. Steph’s mom said “you guys all change boyfriends and girlfriends like you change underwear.” It’s funny and gross, but kind of true.
Being with Eric is so much better than seeing a ton of other guys. I can’t imagine going out with a guy who has already kissed or put his hands all over a hundred other girls. Gross. All my class mates are probably infected with all these diseases from playing tonsil hockey and sticky fingers. Seriously, it’s probably the least of what they’re doing—I know tons of kids who are doing a whole lot more than just feeling each other up, above and under the clothes. I’m pretty lucky I don’t have to worry about where Eric’s parts have been.
At the party, we just hang out upstairs in the loft. It’s this huge area with a giant entertainment center and big cozy couches. We all kick back, eat, and watch movies. In the past, we would sneak up drinks without the adults knowing, but this year, because of the Keesh thing, we decide to steer clear of the extra-curricular activities. The adults probably wouldn’t notice this year either, because they haven’t checked on us, not even once.
It’s just a half hour away from the New Year when Steph has to leave. She always leaves early so she can be home to do the count down with her family. Her parents are weird that way, but I think she enjoys it just as much.
“Thanks, Amy,” Steph says. “I had a great time…like always. I’m gonna wait out front. My mom should be here any minute.”
“We’ll go with you, Steph,” Josh says, as he and Jonathan pull themselves out of the sofa.
“Where you goin’?” Alex asks.
“My cousin’s house for another party,” Jonathan responds. “It’s probably just getting started. My brother’s gonna pick us up. Thanks for inviting us, Amy.”
“Oooo.” Steph smiles. “Looks like it’s gonna be couples only.” She raises her brows up and down quickly.
I look at Eric, then at the other remaining guests. My stomach does a back flip. I’m not sure I want to be here alone with my boyfriend and Amy and Alex.
Steph starts toward the stairs. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”
“Well, that doesn’t leave me much,” I joke.
“You got that right.” Josh smacks Steph on the ass. “This girl is tight with her shit.”
She socks him in the stomach. “And you wonder why.”
We all laugh hysterically.
“Let’s bounce.” Jonathan scoots them both down the stairs, still chuckling.
“Bye, guys!” Steph yells.
“Bye.” We all yell back in unison.
I can hear Steph and Josh still play fighting all the way down the stairs. Steph doesn’t care about a graceful exit. Those two are so cute together. It’s too bad it didn’t work out.
When we can no longer hear Steph, it’s eerily quiet for a minute. The silence is uncomfortable. We’re all alone. It’s just the four of us. It’s never been just Eric and I, and Amy and Alex. It feels weird. What is even more weird, or sick, is I can hear them kissing.
I look over and see Amy already sitting on Alex’s lap. He has one hand on her thigh which is draped across him, and the other is at the top of her back. I can’t see their faces—thank god—just Amy’s hair shielding them like a screen. But I can definitely hear the smacking of their lips.
Kill me now…seriously…kill me now.
Eric pulls me closer. Damn…I hope he can’t feel my heart racing. It’s ready to explode out of my chest right now. I’m just slightly uncomfortable. We’re sitting closely side by side. He has his arm around me and he’s running his palm up and down my arm. I have my hand on his leg which is crossed over his other knee. I love stroking his lower leg. His hair is a little curly and coarse, and its texture feels so cool against my fingers. I can sit here all day just dragging my fingertips back and forth over his leg hair. There is something about this sensation that I can’t describe. It’s mostly just fun to do, but maybe a tad bit sexy too.
Eric kisses the top of my head and I look up at him. He leans in for a kiss and I try to forget Amy and Alex are just a few feet away doing the same thing. Shouldn’t they come up for air? Are they part fish or something? Do they have gills we don’t know about?
I kiss Eric anyway, a long open-mouthed kiss with Alex right next to me. I focus on the softness of Eric’s lips. I usually love kissing Eric. It makes me feel good, too good sometimes, like raging teenage hormone good. But hold on a sec. Kissing Eric isn’t like the romance smut my mom reads. It isn’t anything like the pages of a romance novel. Not at all like, “I loved the sweetness of his breath as his lips parted mine and the warmth of his tongue thrust into my mouth forcing moisture to flood between my legs.” The stuff my mom reads is borderline porn.
Beside, does that really happen?
Definitely not with high school boys.
Boys my age don’t have sweet breath. Okay, so I’ve only really, really, kissed one boy, but have been near enough to know their breath is not sweet. It’s more like a combination of a Monster drink and Hot Cheetohs. Where are these guys with sweet breath? And what about the thrusting tongue? That sounds so seductive. Teenage boys are not seductive. More like messy and clumsy. The moisture between the legs thing is the only thing I can relate to. But that has nothing to do with Eric seducing me. It’s just hormones. Hormones. Just good ol’ hormones making me want to jump into his lap and straddle him like you see in the movies.
I have to hold back. Amy and Alex, remember? Although, it doesn’t seem to bother either one of them that we’re here.
Or maybe it does? Because just as I’m thinking this, Amy and Alex get up and go to her room. OMG. Are they gonna do it? Have they done it already? She’s a pretty bold bitch to take her boyfriend into her room alone with her parents just downstairs. I can’t believe Alex is not more respectful. I’m a little disappointed.
Oh well. What the heck? I jump up and onto Eric’s lap, facing him with my legs bent on either side of his thighs…just like a movie.
“Whoa,” Eric says, his eyes wild with excitement. “What are you doin’?”
He puts his hands low on my hips and squeezes.
“Shhh.” I kiss him.
I kiss the shit outta him.
And I kiss him some more, with my hands under his shirt, running up and down his bare back and his on mine. Our tongues dance together perfectly. I suck playfully on his lower lip and go back to his kiss. He traces my lips with his tongue and then lowers his head to kiss my neck first gently, then with more force. Oooo…maybe this can be like the books. This is as close as we have ever been. Normally, we just kiss, but not this much and not in this way.
OMG. I can feel it. Yes…it. His thing. I’ve been aware of it before but not like this. Normally, it just brushes up against my stomach when we’re standing. But now I can feel it well, rock hard like nothing before, right between my thighs since I’m riding him like a race horse. Damn, it feels good. He’s wearing thin soccer shorts and it is going straight through my jeans. Out of curiosity, I thrust my hips into him.
Holy shit. Is this the way it’s going to feel? OMG.
I quickly fly off Eric like Harry Potter in a Quidditch match, and just stand there a few feet away, staring at him, out of breath. I can feel the heat radiating from down there all the way up to my eyeballs. This is insane.
My bra is undone. When did that happen?
“Wha…what’s wrong?” Eric says, with puffy lips and a tent pitched in his lap. “Did I do something wrong?”
I fix my bra. “No. No. Not at all. That’s why I had to stop.”
“Oh, okay.” He frowns and takes a deep breath. “We can just watch TV. Sit down.” He pats a spot next to him on the sofa.
“Looks like we missed the countdown.” I sit down and cuddle clos
e to him.
He kisses the top of my head. “Happy New Year, sweetie.”
“Happy New Year, babe.”
We sit in silence for a few minutes.
I want to say something.
I just don’t know what.
“Well, that was fun,” I blurt.
I’m so stupid.
“Yeah, it was.” Eric can’t hide his excitement even if he tried.
“Hmm.” I don’t know what else to say.
“So, is this to be continued?” he asks. “Will there be a sequel?”
“Uhh, I think it can be arranged.” I really want there to be a sequel. I already want that feeling again. What scares me is the curiosity brewing in my mind about what it’d be like to go further than we did just now.
“So why’d you stop?” Eric asks. I can feel him looking at me.
I look up at him and then look back down, quickly.
“Uhh. I was scared. It was feeling a little too good.”
“And that’s a bad thing?”
“It would be if we didn’t just stop there.”
“You’re not interested in doing more?” He pushes.
Eric is serious.
“Uhh. I’m definitely interested, but also definitely not sure I’m ready for that yet.” He is probably going to dump me. Isn’t that what boys do when you say you’re not ready?
“That’s okay. It’s all good,” he assures me.
“You sure?”
“I’ve only waited for fifteen years. A little while longer won’t kill me.”
“Can you imagine? Death by blue balls.” I laugh.
We’re both laughing when Amy and Alex come out. His shirt is all wrinkled and she has the worst case of bed head I’ve ever seen.
Looks like they were ready.
Chapter Twenty Two
“Amy,” I mutter. “Can I ask you a question?”
“Sure, Meg.” She looks at me. “What’s up?”
“Am I sleeping in the spot where you and Alex just did the nasty?”
She hits me in the head with a pillow. The guys left and I’m sleeping over. Amy has a queen size bed big enough for both of us to sleep in.
“What was that for?” I hit her back.
“Why would you think we had sex?” she asks, angrily.
“Well you came out with your hair all crazy and Alex’s shirt looked like he just pulled it out of his pocket, it was so wrinkled up.”
“Oh and you weren’t doing anything with Eric?” She sits up, leaning on her elbow, and raises her eyebrow at me. “You’re face was all red like you just finished a soccer game and Eric had a wet spot on his shorts.”
“Eww, you’re sick.” I hit her with my pillow.
“Why am I sick?” she laughs. “I’m not the one who got Eric all wet.” She giggles more.
“Okay, okay. Enough.” I cringe.
“So, you guys doin’ it or what?” she asks, matter-of-factly.
“No way. You?”
“Nope.”
“Oh,” is all I can think of to say.
“But I think I want to,” she lowers her voice.
“I was thinking the same thing after tonight, but I don’t know,” I say. “You better get condoms or something. You don’t want to end up like the girl on that TV show.”
“Oh, I know,” she shudders. “Jen told me about this place…family planning. They give out condoms and stuff…or you can get the pill or a birth control shot.”
“Are you serious?” I’m curious and eager to know more.
“Yeah,” she continues. “They don’t tell your parents. You just walk out with a brown paper bag of goodies…no questions asked.”
“If it’s so easy, then why are there so many girls at school getting pregnant all the time?”
“Because they’re freakin’ stupid.”
I’m silent.
“Will you come with me?” Amy asks softly. “I just want to be prepared…you know…just in case.”
“Where’s it at?”
“Down the street from school…we could walk,” she explains.
“Okay,” I say, surprising myself. “We can go on Monday. We can skip a few classes and go…just in case.”
“Thanks, Meg.” She smiles.
“You don’t have to thank me,” I tell her. “Just one more memory we can add to our high school scrapbook. Should we take pictures? What a memory to share with our grandkids.”
We laugh and then turn with our backs to each other to go to sleep.
Just walk in and walk out, huh.
No parents involved.
Just getting prepared.
Just in case.
A brown paper bag of goodies…
Better than a belly full of baby.
Ugh.
I squirm at the thought.
Chapter Twenty Three
Like usual, I’m on my way to school…thinking. Seriously, I really need to find someone to walk with, so this internal dialogue forever invading my mind can be silenced.
Today, Amy and I are supposed to ditch a couple of classes and go get lunch. Apparently, where we’re going, birth control comes in a brown paper bag. So lunch is our code name.
Just one problem—I’m starting to feel like I’m not ready to need lunch just yet. I’ve been thinking about New Year’s Eve non-stop. My night with Eric was amazing. I think about it every minute I’m awake and then wake up with a smile because I’ve been dreaming about it all night. Seriously. I can’t believe how good he made me feel. But at the same time, I’m also feeling a little scared and a little grossed out by the whole thing.
I could feel his thing. His thingy. Just the fact I can’t say exactly what I felt—I mean the real word for it—is probably some kind of sign. And did he really have a wet spot on his shorts like Amy said? How embarrassing. Did Alex see it too? Ugh. I know it wasn’t pee. think I’d be sickened less if it was. How gross.
OMG. Eric really did have a wet spot on his shorts. Eww. I can’t believe I’m totally trippin’ over the thought of Eric doing his business. If that’s the case, then I probably shouldn’t be there when he really seals the deal, if you know what I mean.
But what can I do? What am I going say to Amy? I can’t just ditch her in her time of need. I seriously don’t think she’d go alone, to get lunch. And I really don’t think her mother is ready to be a grandma. I don’t think that prissy lady ever will be. So maybe I’ll just go with her…to make sure she gets lunch. We’d better be safe than sorry, I guess.
Seriously…this thought just crossed my mind. Amy is going to get lunch so she can have sex with Alex. OMG. I didn’t have that image in my mind before now. Ugh. Now I’m really going to be sick.
I don’t know which makes me feel worse. The thought of Eric and I having sex or Amy and Alex having sex.
Holy crap.
I think I’m gonna be sick, for real.
“What’s wrong, Meg?” Steph shakes me.
Her brash voice startles me. I’m already standing outside my science class and I have no idea how I got here.
“Oh my gosh,” I answer, dazed. “I was just day dreaming, I guess.”
“What’s up?” Keesha stands before us, smiling and waiting for a response. I can hardly look at her.
“Heeeey!” Steph screams and hugs her. “I was beginning to think we were never gonna see you again.”
It’s true. We haven’t talked to Keesha since the last day of school before break, when she left with Nicole at lunch. And now, here she is, acting like nothing happened.
“Hey,” I mutter. I don’t know why I’m so angry, but for some reason, my blood is boiling like a magma chamber about to erupt.
Keesha hugs her and they rock back and forth. “Tell me about it, Steph,” she squeals. “It’s seems like forever. I missed you guys so much.”
“Hey, Keesh,” Amy says, plainly. “So did ya kick the ganja habit or what?”
“Amy,” Steph says, flatly, as if she’s shushing a child.
>
Keesh is speechless for the first time in her life, as I am.
“What?” Amy puts her hands up. “What did I say? We’re all wondering the same thing. Why not just get it all out now, so we can just move on.”
“Well?” Steph says, turning to look at Keesh. Steph’s eyes are practically popping out of her skull, in anticipation.
I’m still in shock, standing there staring at Keesh with my mouth open.
Keesh has tears in her eyes. “I gotta go.”
We all watch her walk away. She doesn’t look back.
“Damn, Amy,” Steph exclaims. “Do you have to be like that?”
“Don’t blame me, Steph,” Amy warns. “If she can’t handle talking about it, how is she ever gonna stop? We can’t just baby her. She owes us an explanation. Don’t you think she should at least tell us she’s stopped? ’Cause if she hasn’t, I don’t want to be around her.”
“As if you’re ever around anyway,” Steph shoots back. She pauses, and then says, “You know what, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”
“Seriously,” I say, calmly. “Let’s just chill. This whole thing with Keesh sucks. We don’t need to be fighting and shit right now. Just chill.”
Steph and Amy back down, and just scowl at each other for a sec.
“So we still getting lunch today?” Amy asks me. “We can leave after ASB. It will give us enough time to get there and back before your practice.”
“Uhh,” I stall. “Yeah, what the hell. Let’s get lunch.”
“You guys are ditching again,” Steph cries. “This is our first day back. Talk about addiction.”
We really need to be careful. Mrs. Caldwell was starting to give me an attitude about my absences, before break.
“Well, at least I won’t get lung cancer or kill my brain cells,” Amy teases.
I laugh and add, “Yeah, and we won’t gain ten pounds from getting the munchies.”
“Haha, you guys are so funny,” Steph mocks. She seems irritated at first, but eventually lets out a small laugh.
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