KeepingFaithCole

by Christina Cole

  “Not until you listen. Not until you’re willing to hear what I’m saying.”

  She lifted her chin. Her red-rimmed blue eyes flashed anger. “I’ve heard every word of it. You let me down, Tommy. We made promises to each other, don’t you remember? We made a pact. That’s what we called it.”

  His heart ached when tears overflowed from his mother’s eyes and streamed across her wrinkled cheeks. Maybe he’d made a mistake. Maybe he should have talked to her first. Maybe they should have kept Faith.

  He shook his head, clearing the uncertainty from his thoughts. Hell, no. He’d done exactly the right thing.

  “Ma, please understand. Faith needs more than we can give her.”

  “Faith needs family.” His mother let out a fierce sob. Her entire body shook, and as Tom released his hold on her, she sagged to the ground, crumpling into a tired heap of weary emotions. “Dear God, why can’t you see it?” She looked up toward her son.

  “Are you praying, Ma?” he asked, struck by her words.

  “If that’s what it takes to get that baby back, I’ll get down on my knees and pray, Tommy. I will. I’ll pray every morning, every night.”

  Yeah, she might do it, but what difference would prayers make if she didn’t believe God listened?

  It was an act, he realized. If she offered up prayers and they failed to bring Faith back, it would be one more proof of her belief—or lack thereof. One more opportunity for her to point out that either God wasn’t there, or else He just didn’t care.

  “You can pray if you want, but make sure you’re praying for the right things.”

  Her head jerked up. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “Don’t pray to get things for yourself. Pray for others.” He blinked in surprise at his words. Somehow they made sense. “Pray that others will have what they need. Pray that Faith will be loved, that she’ll get the care she deserves.” He knelt beside her, reached out, and placed a hand on her cheek. “I know this hurts you, Ma. It hurts me, too. But sometimes that’s what it takes to set things right in life.”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “If you want to pray, pray for Faith. And pray for strength, too.”

  He drew back, half expecting a wad of spittle to shoot from her mouth. But all she did was bow her head and nod.

  “Strength,” she whispered. “Faith.”

  * * * *

  Two weeks later, on a clear, Monday morning, Tom stood at his friend’s side, watching as the mayor stepped forward to pin a gleaming star on Caleb Bryant’s chest.

  “I’m right proud to accept, Mayor.” Caleb grinned, looked down, and brushed at the star. He glanced up, then swept the crowd with a serious gaze. “I don’t expect there will be too much trouble in town. I reckon most of you folks know right from wrong, but in case there’s any question, the rules are simple. No gunplay. No fist-fighting. No public drunkenness, and gentleman,” he said, directing a gaze toward Mr. Hubbard, who stood with his frightened-looking wife and seven children close beside him, “if I hear of any one of you laying a hand on a woman, whether she’s your wife, your sweetheart, or even your mother, I’ll personally come after you and you’ll be spending time in that jail over there.”

  He pointed toward the recently completed building that would serve as his office. Tom had worked on the construction of it. Keeping busy helped ease the ache in his heart whenever he thought of Faith.

  “What about children?” called a man’s voice. “We still allowed to discipline them?”

  “Only if they need it,” Caleb answered.

  As Caleb shot back answers to each question thrown at him, Tom stopped listening and searched through the crowd. When he caught sight of Lucille standing next to her mother, he broke into a grin and tipped his hat. She held Faith in her arms, and at Tom’s gesture, she turned, stepped back from the crowd, and hurried away. Olive McIntyre followed her daughter.

  Damn, they sure as hell weren’t happy to see him. His grin faded.

  The short ceremony ended moments later. Tom put aside all thoughts of Lucille and stepped forward with his hand outstretched. “Damn, friend, but you’ve done all right for yourself. You look good in that hat and badge.”

  Caleb chuckled. “Feels pretty good, too. I think I’m going to like being a lawman in this town,” he added as a bevy of girls from the Red Mule strolled by. They waved, winked, and whispered among themselves, looking back over their shoulders as they passed the two men. “I’ve heard that the sheriff in a town usually gets a few special privileges, if you catch my drift.”

  Tom laughed. “Since when have you needed any special privileges?” With Caleb’s good looks and his friendly demeanor, he could have his way with women. He envied Caleb for his simple confidence, his straight-forward approach. “Damn, man, you’re going to be so busy screwing around, when are you going to find time to keep law and order?”

  “Might even be able to work a few favors for a friend,” Caleb told him, leaning closer. “Next time you’re looking to get laid, maybe I can hook you up with one of those sweet little gals, no charge.”

  “Thanks, but I’ve got other things on my mind.”

  Caleb let out a hearty chuckle. “You’ve got it bad for her, don’t you?”

  “What? Who?”

  “Lucille McIntyre. I saw the way you were looking at her.”

  “Well, even if I were interested in her, it wouldn’t do me a bit of good. You know that.”

  Caleb shook his head. “Don’t start that again, Henderson. You’ve got as much to offer as any other man. Forget where you came from, how you were brought up. Those things don’t matter. What matters is who you are now.”

  “I’m not sure about that.”

  “I am. You’re a hard-working man doing your best to make a future for yourself and for the ones you love. Once you and Lucille figure things out between you, I’ve got a feeling the two of you will be damned happy together. You make a fine-looking pair, you know.”

  “What the hell are you talking about?” He knew his cheeks were pink, and he couldn’t stop grinning. “You’re prattling on like some old lady. There’s nothing going on between me and Miss McIntyre.”

  “The hell there’s not. You might as well admit it.”

  “Nothing to admit.”

  Caleb pulled off his hat, raked his fingers through his hair, then plopped the hat on again. “That’s exactly why it’s not working out. Did it ever occur to you, Tom, that maybe you should tell her how you feel?”

  Tom scratched at his chin. “Yeah, right. I’ll keep that in mind.” Of course, it would be a lot easier once he figured out exactly what his feelings were. Until then, best he keep his mouth shut and not go around stirring things up.

  “I heard she’s keeping your baby girl.”

  “Faith,” Tom replied. “That’s her name, and yeah, I asked Lucille to look after her.”

  “Smart thinking. Gives you a lot of opportunity to spend time with Miss McIntyre.” Caleb clapped an arm over his friend’s shoulder. “When you see her, tell her how you feel. Trust me, it will work out.”

  “I’m seeing her later this evening.” He’d be going to Lucille’s for his first reading lesson, but he didn’t like to call attention to the fact that he was illiterate. Let Caleb think whatever he wanted.

  “Good luck, Tom.” Caleb pulled his arm away, adjusted the badge on his chest, then grinned. “If she won’t give you what you want, come find me. We’ll head over to the saloon.”

  “I just might have to take you up on that.”

  Lucille would never give him what he wanted, and he’d be a fool to think otherwise. All the same, getting it on with one of those cheap saloon girls no longer held the appeal it once had. Not even if it were free of charge, courtesy of Sunset’s local lawman.

  * * * *

  Whether at her dressmaking shop or at home in the evenings, watching the door—or the window—had become Lucille’s favorite pastime…and whenever
she watched, she was always watching for the same tall, rugged, good-looking cowboy. She couldn’t say precisely when, or how, the handsome man had captivated her mind and heart so completely, or maybe she simply didn’t want to admit—even to herself—that it had happened. Much easier, really, to pretend that her only interest in Tom Henderson related to her desires to be of service, to perform good works. A feeling of pride rippled through her each time she thought of the trust he had placed in her. He’d left Faith in her care, and he’d turned to her, as well, to help him learn to read and write, to become the man he wanted to be.

  Fading rays of sunlight danced among the late afternoon shadows, giving an almost enchanted look to the world outside her window. When she caught sight of Tom riding up the lane, Lucille patted her hair into place, gave her cheeks a quick pinch to add a spot of color, then drew in a deep breath so she could pretend his arrival had caught her by surprise. It wouldn’t do to let him know how impatiently she’d waited, how long she’d stood watching for him. The man was already too full of himself.

  “Good evening,” she said as she opened the door to invite him inside. “I hope you’re ready to begin.”

  “Yes, ma’am.” His dimples flashed when he grinned. “I’m always ready for whatever comes my way.”

  Heat rose from the tips of Lucille’s toes to the ends of her hair. Always the innuendo, the subtle suggestions of a sexual nature. Or was it merely her own thoughts, her frustrated desires that led her to read more into an innocent remark than the man ever intended?

  “Yes, well, I’ve set up a workspace in the parlor.” She gestured toward the door, but Tom didn’t move. “Is something the matter?”

  He took off his hat, held it in his hand, and gazed down at her with those sultry blue eyes. “I was hoping I might be able to see Faith first. Could I spend a few minutes with her, Miss Lucille? It would sure mean a lot to me.”

  How could she deny such a heartfelt request?

  “Of course, I understand. She’s upstairs with my mother. Go on into the parlor,” she suggested. “I’ll bring Faith down.”

  For some reason, an unexpected heaviness settled over her heart as she trudged up the narrow staircase. Disappointment, perhaps in knowing that Tom was probably more eager to see his niece than to spend time with her, learning to read and write? Fear that he might change his mind and insist on taking Faith home with him? Neither emotion accurately described her feelings. Something more lurked beneath the surface, something she couldn’t identify, something she couldn’t understand. She’d felt it earlier that day, too, when she’d seen Tom in town.

  When she came downstairs, she found Tom seated in her father’s favorite chair. His long legs were stretched out in front of him, and he looked comfortable and very much at ease.

  “I see you made yourself at home,” she remarked.

  At once Tom got to his feet. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to offend you.”

  “Don’t be silly,” she said. “You haven’t done anything wrong. I’m the one who’s lacking in manners. I should have made sure you were settled before…”

  Her voice trailed off. She knew by the look on his face that Tom wasn’t listening to a word she said. His attention was totally riveted on Faith.

  “Here, do you want to hold her?” With a lump in her throat, Lucille handed the baby to him. At once, Faith’s face broke into a smile. She gurgled and cooed, obviously delighted to be in her uncle’s strong, secure arms. Maybe blood ties were stronger than people even guessed. How else could anyone explain the immediate bond between Faith and Tom?

  “Lucille,” he asked, stroking Faith’s cheek. “I was wondering…maybe we could set up these lessons at Ma’s cabin? She could spend a little time with her grand-daughter while I go over my reading and writing.”

  “I don’t think that would be a very good idea.”

  “Why not?”

  Lucille fumbled for a logical answer. She’d come to care for Faith, maybe more than she should, but sooner or later, she’d have to give the little girl back to Tom and his mother.

  Until then, she meant to keep Faith to herself. She resented the idea of sharing what precious time she had with anyone else, least of all with Charlotte.

  “It would be entirely too inconvenient, don’t you see?”

  “Not really.”

  “You’re working again, aren’t you?”

  He nodded. “I helped build the new sheriff’s office, and next I’m going to give Jake Walker a hand with a little construction work. But that’s only temporary. I’ll probably get hired on at the J Bar K when they start the fall round-up. Of course, that will be temporary, too.” His brows knitted together. “What’s that got to do with anything?”

  “Well, you see, it’s late when you end the day. Faith needs to be in bed. It wouldn’t do for me to be gallivanting across the countryside with her.” She squared her shoulders and lifted her chin a few inches into the air. “Besides, it’s September, the evenings are getting cool, and you don’t want Faith getting a chill, do you? Little ones take sick awfully quick. Not to mention the fact that it wouldn’t be safe for me either. I mean, seriously, Tom, do you really think a single young woman should be driving alone after sundown?”

  “I could pick you up. And bring you back.”

  “It still wouldn’t work, for all the other reasons I mentioned. I’m sorry, but either we do the lessons here, or I can’t help you. And if your mother really wants to see Faith, she can come to call during the day.”

  Charlotte wouldn’t do it. Not that Lucille blamed her. Visiting wouldn’t be the same as having Faith in her home. When visiting, she’d be under the watchful eyes of both Lucille and Olive. Her every move would be scrutinized. Every word listened to. It would be awkward, at best, impossible, at worst, but those were the terms.

  “Or maybe you could pay a call on her.” Tom’s eyes and voice both pleaded, but Lucille refused to give in.

  “I’ll think about it.” She had no intention of ever setting foot in Charlotte Henderson’s home again. “I’ve got to take Faith upstairs now. She’ll be fussy tomorrow if she doesn’t get enough sleep.” She reached out and Tom carefully placed the child in her outstretched arms.

  “You know, Lucille, you’ll make a good mother,” he said. His eyes swept over her form.

  She blushed beneath his gaze. “Yes, I hope to have a large family someday.” Turning away, she quickly carried Faith upstairs.

  When she came down again, Tom had returned to the chair. Lucille paused at the bottom step, struggling to understand the confused feelings he brought out from deep inside of her. She liked him, but always there was that persistent feeling that she shouldn’t care about him, all those worries that folks might think less of her if she showed any real interest in a man like Tom.

  What sort of man was Tom Henderson, really? From her vantage point on the stairway, she studied him carefully. Handsome, yes, and sure enough, he knew it. But looks alone did not make a man. There was so much more to the cowboy, she’d learned.

  He played hard, but he worked hard, too. He showed the world a devil-may-care attitude, but she wondered now if perhaps beneath the dimpled smile and light-hearted words, a far more serious side existed. She wanted to get to know him better.

  “We’ll start with learning letters in the alphabet,” she told him as she swept into the parlor. “I’ll show you how to write them, teach you the sounds they represent.”

  He came to his feet at once. “I’ll do my best, Miss Lucille.”

  Two hours later, she closed the book, quite pleased by the progress Tom had already made in such a short time. “You’re a lot smarter than you give yourself credit for,” she told him.

  “I pick up on things real quick.”

  “It’s more than that. Your mother might not have seen to it that you had any formal education, Tom, but she did teach you how to speak correctly. To listen to you, nobody would suspect you’d never been to school. You’ve got a good vocabulary, an
d you know proper grammar.”

  “Well, yes, I reckon Ma did see to it that my little sister and I knew a few things.” He smiled. “Thank you for that.”

  “For what?”

  “For giving me one good memory from my childhood, for making me aware of one good thing my mother did.” Tom got to his feet. “Reckon I should be getting back now. I don’t like to leave Ma alone too long.”

  “I’ll see you to the door.”

  “Can I come by again tomorrow evening? Same time?”

  “Yes, of course.”

  Before they reached the door, Tom stopped. He dug in his shirt pocket, then pulled out a few copper pennies. “I don’t expect you to do this for nothing, Lucille. Here, take this.” He reached for her hand and pressed the coins against her palm. “It’s not much, but…”

  “Don’t be silly. I’m not asking you to pay me for my services.” The words made her blush again. Now who was throwing innuendo around? Had Tom picked up on it? “What I mean, that is, you know I’m not a teacher by profession. I don’t have any certificate or anything, and it wouldn’t be right for me to ask for payment.”

  “Keep the money. Use it to buy something pretty for Faith.” His eyes softened. “Maybe you could sew her a new dress or a bonnet.” He stepped closer.

  Slowly, he lowered his head until they were so close she could feel his warm breath against her cheek. He had a rich, masculine smell about him. Odors of leather and sweat mingled with a deep muskiness that nearly left her swooning.

  She leaned against him, then lifted up on her toes and brushed her lips to his.

  Alarm bells clanged inside her head. Lucille knew she should back away. She should push him right out the door and lock it behind him. She should turn and run and never look back.

  But she didn’t do any of those things.

  Her lips parted. The kiss lingered between them, leading to another, deeper kiss. His mouth pressed against her, imparting an urgency that trembled through her entire body.

  He reached out and as he pulled her toward him, she went willingly into his embrace. His arms felt strong around her, somehow felt so right wrapped around her. She slid her hands around his waist, loving the feel of the powerful muscles rippling beneath her touch.