by Sarah Price
The elderly women sat down behind one row of the men. Then the married men began to enter the room and take their places on the other side. Only when they were seated did the young women with children enter the room and take the back rows, leaving an empty two rows in between them and the elderly women. Mary Ruth knew that it was where she was to sit with her sister. They waited until the women were seated before they followed and found their place. And, finally, the single men entered the room and sat on the benches between the married men and elderly men.
As soon as they sat, without any word or indication, the men reached for their straw hats and took them off their heads. The men along the back row reached up and hung the hats on the row of nails over the windows while the other men slid their hats under their benches. Other than the noise of shuffling feet and benches scrapping against the floor, the room was quiet.
Then, the singing began.
One man at the back of the men’s section of the room started singing the first syllable of the selection from the Ausbund. Mary Ruth shut her eyes, listening to the long, drawn out word and the rhythm of the song. Then, when it was time for everyone else to continue singing the rest of the song, Mary Ruth joined in, knowing both the words and the tune by heart. After each line of the song, the same man would start the next by singing the first syllable, creating the rhythm for the song with his loud voice so full of adoration for the Lord. It was Mary Ruth’s favorite part of the church service.
She watched as the ministers stood up and left the room once more. She knew that they were returning to the back room to discuss the sermon for the day. Between the bishop, ministers, and deacons, two would be selected to preach. She hoped it would be the bishop for he always gave wunderbaar gut sermons and sometimes quoted poetry in German. Mary Ruth liked the songlike quality of his poems.
Someone opened the windows along the front of the building, letting in the rising sunshine and a fresh breeze. It was the perfect day to worship the Lord.
While Leah sat up straight and stared ahead as the church elders emerged from the back room, Mary Ruth took a quick moment to look once more over her shoulder at Samuel. Her mind was in a whirl. She had noticed that he had left shortly after their brief conversation but hadn’t thought to inquire about his disappearance. Truth be told, she had been surprised that Samuel had shown up at all. She had naturally presumed that he had returned home, especially since she knew that he had to work early in the morning.
But to think that he had left the gathering, driven his horse and buggy over to Miller Lane to be with the Mennonites? She wondered about such a decision. After all, her mamm always said that birds of a feather flock together. And that group of Miller Lane Mennonite youth had a fast reputation, one that wouldn’t hold much respect among the Amish gmay as it clearly didn’t in their own community. It was also a fact that this small group was causing issues among their own church district and leadership.
Yet, Mary Ruth knew, while Samuel was known for marching to his own drum, he wasn’t worthy of such a rebellious reputation, of that she was certain. He always seemed to be at the center of scuttlebutt, people loving to talk about him and his outrageous behaviors. He liked to provoke his brother’s wife, Rachel, that was a known fact. And, when they were younger, he often skipped school to go fishing in a nearby pond. Once, she remembered, he had even snuck out of a church service to take up the fishing rod.
Of late, Samuel seemed to be less of a problem but she wondered if it was because he wasn’t around much. She had heard that he spent his free time away from the farm. He rarely attended social gatherings and no one seemed to talk about where he was. She had wanted to presume that he was home with his family but she knew that would have been foolish. Someone like Samuel wasn’t bound to sit home at all.
She tried to put Samuel Lapp and the wild story of his Friday evening out of her mind as she sat on the hard bench and focused on the church service.
The first minister was preaching about faith and how Abraham’s people had such faith in God. His voice took on a song-like quality as he talked, his voice stretching over the heads of almost two hundred and fifty people who were seated on those backless benches, listening to his words.
“Abraham and Sarah. The parents of many nations, not one single nation, but MANY nations. God's hand was at work in both of their lives. Out of barrenness and emptiness, God promised them life and hope. But this divine covenant, established by God, was meant to reach far beyond Abraham and Sarah. This covenant extends to all the generations that came from their offspring. This covenant of life and hope extends to you.”
Mary Ruth shut her eyes, listening to his words. A covenant of life and hope. She liked the sound of that. Did she have a strong enough faith? She often wondered about that. She tried to live a pure and faithful life. But she often felt as though she was lacking. Something was missing and she wasn’t certain what it was. The discussion about Samuel had really struck a chord with her. If people thought that Samuel was so wild, what would they think of her for going to those unchaperoned gatherings? She certainly didn’t want people talking about her and questioning her faith, not the way that people were questioning Samuel’s.
I’ll not go to anymore of those gatherings and I will follow God more closely, she told herself. And, immediately, a great weight was lifted from her shoulders. She felt lighter and free, knowing that God was pleased with her decision. Mayhaps, she wondered, Samuel might feel the same way if only he, too, would open his heart to commit his life to God.
The sun was high overhead when the service finally ended. The men hurried to help set up the tables. They took wooden boards and quickly lifted the benches so that the legs slid into the boards, raising the benches off the ground and quickly converting them into tables. The remaining benches were slid underneath, in expectation of the first seating of people for the noon fellowship meal.
While the men prepared the tables, the women retreated to the kitchen to make certain that the food was ready for serving. Mary Ruth and Leah filled up the pitchers that lined the counter with cool water and squeezed fresh lemons into it. Millie and Marie Alderfer walked before them, setting plastic glasses down by each plate while Mary Ruth and Leah followed, filling up the glasses with the fresh water.
The older and married men ate at one table while the older and younger married women ate at another. The bishop, ministers, and deacons sat at the table in-between the two other tables, accompanied by several elderly men with long white beards. Without a word, the room fell silent and heads bowed for a short silent prayer. Then, the eating commenced.
The tables were piled high with fresh bread, homemade jam, cup cheese, bowls of chow-chow and pickles, and plates of sliced meats. There were even bowls of brown-sugared pretzels that the children were eye-balling with temptation. And, of course, there were fresh, homemade pies that the hostess for the service had prepared for everyone to enjoy. It was a communal meal, one that was prepared by every household, with the exception of the elderly who didn’t have to bring any of the food items.
Since the older men and married men ate first, Mary Ruth kept her eyes open, looking for Samuel to join his regular group of church friends who were lingering near the open window in the back corner. However, he was nowhere to be seen. She was still looking for him when the room grew silent. She quickly bowed her head for the silent prayer that signaled the end of the first seating.
As soon as everyone got up and started to move away from the table, the younger women hurried to clear the dishes and bring the used cups over to the wash station. Once the dishes were washed and dried, Millie and Marie hurried to set them out by the new place settings. The movement of over two hundred people through the room for fellowship, some having been fed and others eager to claim a seat, was certainly organized chaos and one of the greatest parts of worship Sunday, at least in Mary Ruth’s mind.
But now, as she watched, she saw David Lapp and John Bucher sit down. Mary Ruth knew that Samuel must be ne
arby so, despite not seeing him, she hurried over to that table to make certain that his brother and friends had fresh lemon water to go along with their midday meal.
“Five in the morning?” she heard John Bucher say, laughing as he shook his head. “Sure bet your daed wasn’t too happy with that!”
David scoffed. “Me, neither! Had to milk all those cows without his help!”
Another young man seated next to David leaned forward. “He said where he went all night?”
David shrugged. “Wherever Samuel went, only he knows the answer. He ain’t saying nothing of where he went all night.”
“Mayhaps he was with one of those Englische girls that hang out with those fellows?”
The young men laughed at the joke but, it was an uncomfortable laugh. There were groups of Englische girls that liked to hang around the more conservative Mennonite and less conservative Amish men. Those girls were notorious for being too willing to corrupt. It seemed like a challenge to them and most Amish men stayed far away. But there were always stories about Amish youths who gave into the temptation and satisfied the curiosity of those less reputable girls. No one ever spoke of what happened, whether it was a simple kiss or more involved intimacy, but the rumors always ran rampant whenever the story reared its ugly head.
When David’s eyes looked up and spotted Mary Ruth, he quickly sobered up. The other men quickly did the same and bent their heads over their plates of food. “Gut martiye, Mary Ruth,” David said.
She looked around the table. “Seems your group is missing one, ja?” She smiled as she reached for David’s glass and poured more water into it.
“Samuel, you mean,” he said, quickly lowering his eyes. He hoped that she had not overheard their conversation. “I’m not certain where he made off to.”
Setting the glass down in front of him, she smiled at John Bucher and reached for his glass. “Well, it sure would be a shame if he missed such wunderbaar gut food on a beautiful day.” Her eyes scanned the groups of men that were lingering near the open windows, catching up on the weekly news.
“I’ll make certain a plate is set aside for him,” she said softly to David. “You let him know, ja? No gut if he’s hungry, especially if he was feeling poorly yesterday.”
David nodded in response but said nothing as he watched her finish serving the rest of the group. Clearly she had overheard their conversation but gave no indication of disappointment or disapproval in Samuel for taking his rumschpringe further than most Amish men. That wasn’t too surprising, however. Mary Ruth had always been known to have a kind heart to everyone, not just Samuel. Yet, while any one of the men at the table would have been eager for her attention, they all knew that her eyes seemed to sparkle the most when Samuel Lapp was nearby.
It wasn’t until the second seating of worshippers was finished with the meal that Mary Ruth finally found Samuel. She had been helping the women clean up, wiping down the tops of the make-shift tables so that the men could take them apart and carry them downstairs for stacking in the wagons used to carry the church benches. The room was almost empty now and she noticed that many of the young men were helping to carry the benches downstairs. As she was standing in the kitchen, drying the cups that had been used by the congregation, she happened to look out the window and saw him.
He was standing in the back paddock, staring at the recently plowed fields. He was facing away from her so she couldn’t see his expression, although she suspected that he was deep in thought. He always seemed to be deep in thought when his hands were tucked into his pockets and his shoulders slumped over. She wondered what he was thinking and decided to excuse herself from the rest of the cleanup in order to go find out. After all, it was Samuel and the talk of the congregation wasn’t smiling too favorably on him on this fine day. Mayhaps, she thought, he was in need of a friend.
She walked down the stairs and smiled at a few of the older men who were lingering in the lower level of the barn. While the women cleaned the fellowship area, the men stood near the horses and exchanged whatever news they had from their farms and family. No one seemed to pay her much mind so she slipped away and headed out the back door toward the paddock where she had seen Samuel.
He was still standing there, his hands in his pockets and his head hanging over his shoulders. It was clear that he was tired and also deep in thought. She stood for a moment, her hand tucked under her chin as she watched him. Clearly, whatever he was thinking wasn’t making him happy and that worried her.
“Samuel?” she called out.
He turned around, startled by her unexpected presence. “Mary Ruth!” He lifted his head and straightened his back. “What are you doing here?”
“Saw you from the window,” she said, gesturing toward the barn behind her. With the windows over the kitchen area on the second floor, it was clear that anyone else could be watching them. “Wanted to make certain you had something to eat.”
He frowned. “Dinner’s over, then, ja?”
She nodded. “But I set aside a plate for you, Samuel.”
“Aw, Mary Ruth,” he said, shaking his head. “No need for that.”
A smile crossed her lips. She knew that she didn’t have to do that but she also knew that she wanted to make certain he didn’t miss a meal. “I know,” she whispered. “But I did it just the same.”
His mouth twitched from side to side, as though he had something that he wanted to say but chose not to say it. Instead, he inhaled the fresh air and looked around the meadow. “Sure is a pretty farm, ain’t so?”
She followed his gaze. The grass of the green pasture waved in the slight breeze, moving like water on land. A bird swooped down from the sky, dancing in the air as it flew toward the trees in the distance. “Oh ja! I love the buttercups in the field!” She pointed toward the back pasture where black and white cows grazed amidst tall, flowing yellow flowers. “Looks like God was painting the tips of the grass in yellow. It’s so beautiful.”
Samuel nodded. “Ja,” he said. “Beautiful, especially for those who want to farm.” He glanced at her. “I ain’t never going to farm,” he quickly declared.
“Nothing wrong with that, Samuel,” Mary Ruth said. “Many of the young folks don’t have farming opportunities now, do they?”
With a simple lift of his shoulders, he signaled his thoughts about farming. “Not important if you don’t want to farm, I reckon.” He paused and stared back over the field. He was glad that he had the work at the carpentry shop. Working in the fields seemed to be a never-ending chore. But many of the youth seemed to always lament not having enough land to follow in the footsteps of their fathers. “I just don’t see why so many want to farm, anyway.”
She laughed. “Farming is in our blood, isn’t it?”
“Not mine!”
His quick rebuttal made her laugh again. “Oh Samuel, you say that now. But we are all farmers, aren’t we? Whether it’s a small garden or a large backfield, we all plow something for a harvest. And if you think not, think about the words we speak and the lives we touch. We harvest a lot of things in our lives, even if it’s not crops from soil!”
There was something about the look on his face that caused her heart to flutter. He was staring at her, studying her yet he still appeared so distant, as though he was deliberately putting up a barrier between them. She could sense his discontent and it made her take a step backward. She wondered if she had been too forward and the thought shamed her.
“Ach vell,” she whispered. “I reckon I should be going.”
“Ja. Reckon your daed’s looking for you,” he said slowly, his words even and deliberate.
She took another step backward and lifted her hand to wave goodbye before she turned around, hurrying back toward the barn where her father was most likely harnessing the horse to the buggy while her mamm said her goodbyes. They’d be waiting for her and it wouldn’t do anyone any good if she kept them waiting. But she was glad that she had walked down to speak to Samuel. Indeed, she thought, for
she knew that, during the short ride back to their farm, she would be thinking of how Samuel had stared at her, as though seeing her with fresh eyes, eyes that were curious and interested. Perhaps, she told herself, there was hope for him after all.
Chapter Four
The Sunday singing was well attended. When the weather grew warmer in spring, the youth seemed more inclined to venture out at night. After receiving the what-for from his daed and mamm for being out so late on Friday, Samuel had decided to join David at the singing, even if only for the chance to escape the tension in the house. He had enough of his mamm’s sighing behind his back and his daed’s disapproving scowls. Yes, he had told himself, time to escape the house, even if it meant going to a Sunday singing.
David had insisted that they take separate buggies. He intended to ask someone if he could bring her home. While he didn’t divulge to Samuel which girl had caught his eyes, David did tell him that he didn’t want to be burdened with having to figure out how to get Samuel home. Samuel hadn’t commented, knowing that Susie Miller was the girl riding home with him these days. But he respected his brother for wishing to keep the matter private.