by Sarah Price
The singing was being held at a farm too far away for him to walk. Samuel didn’t mind taking his own buggy for it gave him that little bit of liberty that he liked to have handy. Plus, he was still tired from the weekend and wanted to escape early so that he could get to bed before ten o’clock. Six hours of sleep would perk him up right quick!
He stood in the back of the large room, his hat tipped over his eyes so that he could shut them. They burned from exhaustion. Yet, he wouldn’t have traded his Friday evening for anything in the world. Driving into Lancaster with his friends had been exhilarating. They sped along the highway, the windows open and the music blasting inside the car. Jacob drove fast and took curves as if he were behind the wheel of a racecar. Samuel had laughed with the other men as they passed slower cars and weaved throughout the traffic.
Lancaster at night was bright and alive. There were cars and people enjoying themselves until the wee hours. It was around 1am when they had stopped at a diner to get some food. They had even met a group of Englischer girls who looked as if they had spent their evening at a bar. With disheveled hair and bleary eyes, the girls had found the ragtag group of men curious and, as such, spent some time chatting with them. It was well after 3am when they had finally left Lancaster to return to Leola in the car. And Samuel still had to fetch the horse and buggy to get home.
The only problem with his plan was that he hadn’t counted on his daed being up already. The sun was barely casting an orange glow along the horizon of the fading night sky. He wasn’t certain what time it was. After all, he didn’t wear a watch or carry a cell phone. Yet, as Samuel was unharnessing the horse when his daed walked into the horse stable, he realized that it was well into the hours of morning chores and he knew he was in trouble.
“Samuel Lapp!” Jonas had said, his voice sharp and loud. Startled, Samuel spun around and saw his daed standing in the barn door, his hands on his hips and a scowl on his face. “Where have you been?”
It wasn’t often that Jonas spoke sharply to his children. In fact, Samuel couldn’t remember ever hearing his daed raise his voice. The fact that he was on the receiving end annoyed Samuel. After all, he rationalized, a rumschpringe was that time in a young man’s life to explore. So why would his daed be so angry?
So, in response to his daed’s question, Samuel had merely glanced over his shoulder and scowled back. “Out with friends. I’m back in time for chores.”
His father had given his head a firm shake, clearly dissatisfied with Samuel’s nonchalance toward the matter. “I won’t be having none of this, Samuel. Running around is one thing but coming home in the early morning? You’ll be worthless at work and the people will talk! Already your brother has been helping by himself for almost an hour!”
An hour? Samuel glanced at the sky. Could it be that close to five o’clock? If he felt sheepish or ashamed, he hid it behind a stoic face of indifference. “I’m here now,” he said stubbornly, refusing to apologize or look ashamed. Instead, he rubbed his hand on the horse’s neck before turning to walk past his father and heading to the dairy barn.
For the rest of the day, he had received the silent treatment from his family. Even David had given him a dirty look and ignored him, annoyed that the bulk of the dairy chores had fallen on his own shoulders because of Samuel’s lack of responsibility. After Samuel had finished at the carpentry shop, his father had given him an endless list of chores to do around the farm as if trying to break his spirit of defiance. Truth was that Samuel was too stubborn to be broken by chore after chore. He knew that he could retire early that evening and by the next night, he’d feel fit and rested.
But, to his surprise, the tension remained throughout the next day, including the church service. Samuel had sensed his parents’ displeasure with his behavior from the previous Friday evening. In fact, they hadn’t spoken to him unless it was absolutely necessary. Their silence was irritating and getting on his nerves. So, when David mentioned the singing, Samuel had jumped at the opportunity to escape the house and mend broken fences with his brother. Attending a youth singing was bound to help, he thought.
Now, as he stood at the back of the room, the same room where church had been held earlier but where the youth were now gathered to sing and socialize, he wanted nothing more than to be back at the farm and in his bed.
He shut his eyes and remembered the young women from Friday night. They had smelled sweet, like crisp flowers. He had never been close enough to a fancy woman who wore perfume. He had liked the smell. And the lanky blond woman had seemed to pay special attention to him. She had sat next to him, her leg brushing against his as they talked. Once, her hand had even touched his leg and he had felt a shiver up his spine. No one had ever been so bold or brazen toward him in a physical manner and, to both his delight and shame, he enjoyed the physical attraction between himself and a woman. It was a new feeling for him and brought him great pleasure.
How different the social activities are for the Amish, he thought, opening his eyes to observe the singing. The women were on one side of the barn and the men on the other. Their voices carried throughout the barn as they sang fast paced religious songs in both German and Englische. The sound was beautiful. Samuel had to admit that. The voices lifted together in an unspoken harmony, faster than they sang during the church service but just as beautiful. However, the songs and voices sounded nothing like the fast beat of Englischer music.
“This is three times in one week,” a soft voice said by his side.
Samuel opened his eyes to find Mary Ruth staring up at him. She was so petite and small, a wisp of a woman with such soulful eyes. Despite his own vow to not get attached to anyone in his community, he found himself smiling at her. “Who’s counting, Mary Ruth Smucker?”
She raised an eyebrow. “Three’s an easy number to count to, ain’t so?”
He laughed but didn’t reply.
Quickly, she changed the subject. “Thought you might be thirsty,” she whispered and handed him a glass of iced tea. “Might wake you up a bit to join the singing.”
With a quick glance around the barn, Samuel was glad to notice that no one was watching them. It wouldn’t do to have people observing their quiet interactions, especially since Mary Ruth had brought him a refreshment. Doing such an act in front of everyone was a very intimate gesture and worthy of gossip. “Danke, Mary Ruth, but you didn’t have to do that,” he said gently, a reminder that he was not her beau.
As usual, his rebuke didn’t appear to bother her. She merely laughed and shrugged her shoulders. “I know I didn’t but you looked thirsty and I wanted to say hello, anyway.” Without another word, she smiled and hurried back to join her friends, leaving him to stare after her as she disappeared amidst a sea of women wearing colorful dresses and white heart-shaped prayer kapps.
During the break between songs, David and Simon joined Samuel at the back of the barn by the open door. It was warm inside the barn, a sharp contrast to the cooler spring air outside the open barn door. The stars were sparkling bright against the dark night sky.
“Samuel, gut to see you outside of work,” Simon said, clapping him good-naturedly on his back. They had always gotten along well, even during his troublesome school years. Now that they were working together, their friendship had seemed to grow even more. “All work and no play…” he teased.
“Who says I’m not playing?” Samuel shot back, smiling devilishly. For some reason, he felt proud of the fact that he was walking outside of the line that was expected of the Amish youth.
“Ja, so I heard,” Simon retorted, the tone of his voice not going unnoticed by Samuel. “And you seemed to be dragging at work yesterday. Mayhaps the result of too much playing the night before, ain’t so?”
Samuel frowned. Dragging? He didn’t like that comment coming from Simon one bit. It sounded very judgmental and that irritated him. He made a clucking noise with his tongue, shaking his head slowly. “Seem to be powerful interested in what I do with my free time during my
rumschpringe, Simon Smucker. Is there a reason for that, I wonder?”
“Actually, there is,” he said, tipping his head closer to Samuel so that no one could overhear their conversation. “David said you brought your own buggy tonight. Mayhaps you could give my sister a ride home, if no one else asks her? I have my own plans but want her home safe.” Simon pulled back and stared at him in the eyes. “Trusting you won’t be whisking her off until milking time, ja?”
“Leah or Mary Ruth?” Samuel asked, trying to act noncommittal and disinterested. He hadn’t intended on taking anyone home from the singing. Fact was that he had been contemplating seeing if Jacob was around later. Taking one of the Smucker girls home would hinder that idea. And he didn’t want tongues wagging, especially given the interest that Mary Ruth displayed toward him. “Reckon I could. As a favor to you, tis all.”
“I’ll let Mary Ruth know then,” Simon said. “And danke, Samuel. Although I’m sure it’s not too much of a hardship for you.” He laughed. “Taking Mary Ruth home, that is.” With that, he turned on a heel and walked back toward the other men.
David waited until Simon was gone before he cast a stern look at his younger brother. “You be careful with that Mary Ruth,” he said sharply. “You know she’s ripe for heart ache when it comes to you. Too quick to defend you when others are willing to turn their backs. I won’t have you hurting that girl, Samuel.”
“I’m not looking to court anyone, David. You know that and she does, too,” Samuel snapped. “I can’t help it if she’s looking for signs that ain’t there!”
“Just be careful, brother,” David warned solemnly before he, too, disappeared to rejoin his other friends.
It was close to ten when the group began to break up and pairs of Amish folks began to disappear into the darkness. Samuel sighed as he scanned the crowd, looking for Mary Ruth. She was standing near the refreshment table with two of her friends and a lone Amish man. Samuel frowned, recognizing Elias Lantz. He was standing next to Mary Ruth and clearly paying more attention to her that was normally warranted unless there were ulterior motives. He clenched his teeth and took a deep breath, too aware of how annoyed he was that Elias was making a move on his Mary Ruth.
His Mary Ruth.
The words lingered in his mind and he quickly shook his head. She wasn’t his Mary Ruth, he corrected himself. After all, he didn’t have any intentions of settling down. Not yet, anyhow. He knew that his brother had set his sights on Susie Miller and his friend, John Bucher was secretly courting that Millie Ann. That was all well and good for those fellows. But Samuel Lapp had no intentions of courting anyone for several years to come, he told himself.
Yet, despite this argument, he had made a promise to Simon Smucker. His sister needed a ride home and Samuel had promised to give it to her. A promise was a promise, he argued. And there was no issue with courting when a promise was made, even if the promise involved Mary Ruth.
Approaching the group, Samuel strode up to Mary Ruth. He noticed that she stopped talking when he came near and he liked how she lifted her blue eyes to look at him. She smiled, just slightly, but enough so that he noticed it. With a feeling of protectiveness, Samuel positioned himself between Elias and Mary Ruth, tipping his head in greeting to the other women but ignoring the man at his back. “Mary Ruth, your brother Simon mentioned you’d be needing a ride home, ja?”
She beamed at him, her eyes sparkling and her cheeks flushing pink. “That would be wunderbaar gut, Samuel. I think he’s left already and walking don’t suit me tonight, if I can avoid it.”
“You don’t have to walk,” Elias offered, an eager smile on his face. “I’ll take you in my buggy, Mary Ruth.”
Samuel reached for her arm, slowly guiding her away from the group. He ignored the tightening in his chest when Elias had tried to change the plan. “Danke, Elias, but I have this covered tonight.” And, within seconds, they were far away from a disappointed Elias and a stunned group of young women who watched as Samuel led Mary Ruth toward the outside in order to find his horse and buggy.
Once inside the buggy, Samuel glanced at Mary Ruth as she sat next to him. He wasn’t certain how this had all happened and he didn’t want her to make any presumptions about why she was sitting there. Oh, she sure was pretty all right and would make a perfect Amish wife, he told himself. But Samuel knew that she’d be settling down with someone sooner rather than later and that someone was not him, that was for sure and certain. He wasn’t near ready to settling down.
With a deep breath, Samuel cleared his throat. “I’m taking you home because your brother asked, Mary Ruth.”
She smiled, staring straight ahead. “I know.”
Her nonchalant response irritated him. She was too calm and easy going, too willing to agree with him. He wondered if she was teasing him. “Don’t go thinking that I’m interested in courting you,” he blurted out. “I ain’t.”
She laughed and looked at him. “Samuel Lapp!”
“What?”
“I know that, too!” She shook her head, still laughing. “But it sure is neighborly of you to take me home. My brother surely appreciates it.” Gently, she laid her hand on his arm and waited for him to look at her once again. “As do I,” she said softly.
He glanced down at her hand. It was warm and soft on his bare arm. Her skin was clear and white, unblemished from working indoors all winter. When Mary Ruth removed it, he felt tingles where it had rested. His heart pounded inside his chest. “Well, just so we have that straight. Don’t need no tongues wagging or false hopes setting store in something that ain’t so, ja?”
She returned her gaze to look out the window, another smile playing on her lips. “Ja!” she retorted playfully.
Samuel cleared his throat and looked back to the road. “Still,” he began carefully. “Can’t have just anyone taking you home, I reckon. No gut having that Elias Lantz chasing after you.”
“What’s wrong with Elias Lantz?” she asked, laughing at Samuel’s comment.
“Aw, you can’t tell me you don’t see how poorly he treats his horse! That mare is bones and needs a lot of grooming. He sure don’t see fit to rub her down before he takes her out, that’s for certain!” Samuel said, shaking his head. “A man treats his horse poorly, he sure ain’t gonna take care of his girl.”
“I’m not his girl,” she said quickly. Then, after the briefest of hesitations, she added, “And why would you care anyway?” Mary Ruth tossed back at him lightly. “You just set the story straight between us, ain’t so?”
Samuel glanced at her out of the corner of his eye and shook his head. “Mayhaps but can’t have you running with that Elias. He’s no gut for someone like you.”
She laughed again. The sound was light and cheerful, two words that just about summed up everything when it came to Mary Ruth. Nothing seemed to bother her or make her feel poorly. A smile always graced her face and a sparkle twinkled in her eyes. People were naturally drawn to her, wanting to have just an ounce of her happiness rub off on them. He fought that same urge, knowing that settling into a steady courtship with anyone, especially with Mary Ruth, would hinder his adventures with his Mennonite friends.
When he pulled the buggy up to her house, he made a fuss about getting out and walking around the buggy to open her door. He reached out to take her hand in his as she climbed down with a spring to her step. For a moment, he held onto her hand and she paused, looking up at him.
“I never said danke for saving me a plate earlier today,” he said softly.
“Why Samuel,” she replied, her voice barely a whisper. “You knew that I would. I always do.”
He still held her hand and, for just a moment, he took a step forward, the toes of his boots brushing against hers. “What I said back there…” he nodded toward the buggy. “Well, it ain’t that I wouldn’t court you,” he added, stressing the word wouldn’t. For a moment, just one, he rubbed his thumb over the back of her hand. “It’s just that…vell…just that I’m not about to
court anyone right now.” He stumbled over the words, his voice low and soft with a rare gentleness that was saved only for moments like this.
She bit her lower lip and stared down at the ground. Even in the darkness, she could sense the color rise to her cheeks. She was glad that he couldn’t see. “I understand, Samuel.”
He raised her hand to his lips and brushed his lips against the back of it. “You always do, don’t you, Mary Ruth?” He chuckled softly, liking the way that she looked away from him at his gesture. He had startled her by kissing the back of her hand, an innocent gesture but one that presumed much for a man who claimed not to wish to court her. “I don’t know why you always stick up for me but you do.”
She smiled in the darkness. “Reckon old habits die hard.”
“Hmmm,” he whispered under his breath, his voice low and soft. “Mayhaps that old habit can stick around a bit, Mary Ruth. If only you’d wait it out…” He let his voice trail off, leaving the rest unspoken. But his intent was clear.