Under the Midnight Stars

by Shawna Gautier

  Colt rubbed his neck. The day’s events had exhausted him. The last thing he wanted to do was run into town. But he also didn’t want to be stranded without a vehicle.

  “Give me a few minutes to go home and recharge.”

  “Sounds good. I need a bite to eat too. And I have to piss like a racehorse.” Jack smirked, raising only one corner of his mouth.

  Colt was glad that Jack was trying to keep it amicable between them, despite all the trouble in Dallas. He prayed that Brielle would eventually do the same.

  “I hear ya, Jack. I’m about to find a tree myself. See ya in a bit.”

  It only took Colt ten minutes to make the trek home. But feeling as blue as he did, it seemed much longer. All he could think of was Brielle and how he had hurt her. If he could only get her to listen long enough, he was sure this would all blow over. But how could he ever fix what Roy had done to her? It didn’t matter what reason he gave her — if he couldn’t even forgive himself for putting her in such danger, then why in the hell did he think she should forgive him?

  Colt took a few minutes to rest and eat a sandwich before Jack showed up. Then, with the windows rolled down and the radio up, they drove into town to Zeke’s garage to pick up Colt’s part. On the way back home they spotted Billy in the parking lot of The Watering Spot.

  “Son of a bitch,” Jack murmured hotly under his breath. He slowed and pulled into the parking lot.

  “What are you doing?” Colt asked suspiciously.

  “You’ll see.” Jack pulled up next to Billy’s truck and jumped out of his car.

  Colt watched as Jack stalked around the front of the car, toward Billy’s truck on the other side.

  Billy climbed out of his truck, not noticing Jack until he shut his door and turned around.

  Colt leaned toward the open window. He didn’t know what Jack had up his sleeve, but he had a good guess that it wouldn’t end well. He rested his hand on the door latch, ready to help Jack if needed.

  “Jack?” Billy asked incredulously. “What the fuck are you doing?”

  Jack stared down at Billy icily. He carefully eyed Billy’s two black eyes and bandaged nose. “This.” Smirking smugly, he kicked Billy in the crotch.

  “Ughhh!” Billy groaned and fell to his knees.

  “Oh shit!” Colt exclaimed under his breath, wide-eyed.

  Jack leaned down with fury in his eyes. “Next time you lay a hand on my sister, or even look her way, I’ll cut the fuckers off!” Then he lifted his boot to the middle of Billy’s chest and kicked him to the ground.

  Billy rolled back and forth, groaning in pain.

  Colt snickered in disbelief and shook his head.

  “Cowardly piece of shit!” Jack spat at him before he got back into his car and sped out of the parking lot.

  TEN

  Brielle lay in the hammock under the stars, a firm hand over her heart, trying to keep it from breaking any further. “Mom,” she cried, “I wish you were here. I need to talk to you about something.”

  Jack showed up next to the hammock holding a box of pink tissues. He handed them to her. “Don’t be sad, Brielle.”

  “I can’t help it.” She sucked in a ragged breath and buried her nose in the tissue. “I miss Mom.” She continued to stare at the dark twinkling sky.

  “And Colt. I know you miss him too. How many times are you gonna make me turn the poor guy away?”

  “Until he stops coming over, I suppose.” She sniffled.

  Jack carefully lay next to her on the hammock. He crossed one boot over the other and tucked his arms behind his head. “I never took the time to wonder what drew you and Mom out here … It’s beautiful, Brielle.”

  Tears fell uncontrollably. “Yeah, it is beautiful.”

  Jack let out a heavy breath. “You need to talk to Colt.”

  “No!” she snapped stubbornly. “It doesn’t matter what he has to say. What’s done is done. He bought drugs. He went to jail. He’s not the kind of man I’d ever marry.”

  “You wanted to marry him?” Jack asked, surprised.

  “If he would’ve asked me.” She began to cry harder as she released her pain. “I love him, Jack. Mom said my heart and body and soul would react senselessly when I found the right man. It’s how I feel when he kisses me. I get this sensation that fills my entire being … just like she said. I even feel different when he holds my hand … or even when I just look at him. I even feel it when I just think about him. Why Jack? Why did he have to be a bad guy? Why?” She sucked in a ragged breath.

  He pulled her to his chest and held her close. “This’ll all work itself out. You’ll see…” he replied soothingly.

  It had been six days since the incident in Dallas, and Colt still hadn’t heard a word from Brielle. It seemed the harder he tried, the harder she hid herself from him. He felt as if he were living in a nightmare. Particularly the one he kept having of Brielle — the one where he’d kept trying to call her on a payphone but could never get through. He was always either dialing the wrong number or running out of change.

  He trudged down the stairs, hoping a pot of coffee would give him the energy he needed to get through the day. Glancing out of the living room window at the pink hues of the sunrise, he noticed Jack’s car parked out front.

  He opened the front door right as Jack was about to knock. “Good morning, Jack. What brings you by so early?”

  “Thought maybe you could use some help? I was supposed to work at the lumber yard, but things are slow, I guess.” Jack tipped his hat back.

  Colt grinned. “I sure could, Jack.” He stepped aside and let him in. “So how’s Brielle doing?” He tried to sound casual.

  “She’s pretty torn up. I keep trying to get her to see you. But you know how stubborn she is.” He stopped and smiled a half-smile as though a thought occurred to him. “You know, she lies in the middle of the backyard in a hammock every night ’til after midnight. She likes looking up at the stars. And my dad wouldn’t even notice you were there. He’s passed out drunk as a skunk by then.”

  Colt smiled appreciatively. “I’ll keep that in mind. Come on.” He swatted Jack’s back. “You can help me carry in the slabs of granite. Damn things are heavy as hell. But how’s about some coffee first?”

  “Sounds good.” Jack followed him into the kitchen.

  Still in bed, Brielle stared at the pink hues in the horizon, irritated that Jack woke her up early to tell her that he was going to help Colt for the day. And he didn’t even give her a chance to protest before he shut her bedroom door and rushed out of the house. She wondered how Jack could so easily forgive such a conniving, deceiving man. He’d almost gotten her raped and killed. It didn’t matter what he had to say for himself, she’d be a fool to forgive him.

  She went to the bathroom and looked in the mirror, appalled at the woman staring back at her. Dark circles underlined her lifeless green eyes. Her skin appeared paler than ever now, and her hair was a tangled mess. She couldn’t even remember if she’d showered within the last twenty-four hours. Heck, she couldn’t even remember brushing her teeth, for that matter.

  Her pathetic reflection was just the boot in the rear she needed to snap out of her self-inflicted pity. Holding her chin high, she reached in and turned on the shower.

  After Brielle showered and readied for the day, she decided to pass the time by giving the house a good scrubbing. When the house finally sparkled with cleanliness, she spent the afternoon preparing homemade beef stew and biscuits for dinner — her father’s favorite. Pleasantly surprised, her father stayed home and ate dinner with her before he left for the bar — a rare treat since her mother’s passing.

  “This is just how your mother used to make it,” Roger said after he took a bite of stew.

  Brielle joined him at the small breakfast table next to the kitchen window. “Thanks, Dad. I made it because I know it’s your favorite.” She smiled and dug into her meal.

  He took a long swig of his beer and set the bottle back on
the table. After a short silence, he let out a weary sigh. “You remind me so much of your mother.”

  Brielle smiled slightly and continued to eat.

  Roger cleared his throat. “You know … I’ve been thinking … I’m gonna quit drinking tomorrow.”

  Brielle drew her brows together at the unexpected disclosure. She’d heard him say it before, but not in almost a year, and never with such sincerity. “Really?”

  He pursed his lips and looked into his stew, as if hiding his guilt. “Really, sweetheart … I have to quit wallowing and start being a real father to you and Jack. You both deserve better. I know that you two are grown, but you still need me — so I’d like to think.”

  Brielle’s heart filled with awe. She never expected this from her father. Not at this point in time. But she had secretly wished for it while lying under the stars.

  She nodded. “We do still need you, Dad.”

  “I’m glad. I was afraid I had lost my chance after my behavior these last two years.”

  “Never,” she replied softly.

  “And sitting here with you, eating as a family again … I realize that I still need you too. You and Jack both … I also want to get the ranch up and running again. I don’t think I’ll get back into the cattle business though. Maybe horses instead. I know how much your brother loves horses. Of course, I know he wants to be a firefighter — I couldn’t be more proud. But I’m hoping maybe he’d wanna help out part-time around here.”

  “Sounds perfect — I think he’d like that.” Brielle smiled and blinked back her tears. Her father had never been this open with her in his life. She welcomed the change.

  She took another bite and pondered his words before she spoke again. “Dad … I was wondering … you said that you were gonna quit drinking tomorrow … Does that mean you’re going to the bar tonight?”

  Roger lowered his head and nodded. “Yes, Gabby. There’s someone I wanna say good-bye to.” He looked her in the eyes again.

  “Anyone I know?”

  “I think you might’ve seen her in the diner — Sally Wheaton. I went to high school with her. She’s a waitress at the bar.”

  Brielle became worried. She didn’t know if she was ready to hear whether or not her father was dating. Her mother’s memory was too recent. She stared at him in dismay.

  “I know what you’re thinking. Don’t worry though, Sally’s just a friend. But in the future … when I’m healed and things are better here … well … who knows what could happen … I just know I have to start moving forward in life.”

  Brielle couldn’t imagine her father with anyone else but her mother. And she didn’t want to. But there was no use worrying over something that hadn’t even happened yet. She decided to put the matter off for now. “Okay.”

  They finished their meals while talking about how to better the ranch. Brielle was sure that Jack would want to be a part of the business now that horses were involved — at least part-time — in between being a firefighter. After dinner Brielle saw her father to the front door.

  “Bye, Dad.” She stood on her tiptoes and gave him a peck on the cheek, and then a big hug, just as she used to as a child.

  He hugged her back and chuckled slightly. “I’ll be back in a flash.”

  She giggled. “I remember you used to say that all the time when I was a little girl.”

  “You’ll always be my little girl.” He winked, donned his hat from the table next to the front door, and headed outside.

  Brielle closed the door behind him and locked it. Then she went to the kitchen to tidy up and put dinner away. Exhausted, she went to the hammock in the backyard and carefully eased herself onto it, welcoming the comfort.

  A warm smile crossed her face as she tried to envision the ranch up and running again. She wondered if life could ever be close to what it used to be. Her thoughts drifted back to her teenage years, during the lively bustling days at the ranch when her mother was still alive. She remembered complaining about the chores assigned to her and Jack, thinking that he had it easier because he was younger.

  Jack’s chores had always consisted of mostly outside work. Feeding and tending to the horses. Cleaning the stalls. Keeping up on the yard maintenance. And ensuring that the upkeep on the fencing and other odds and ends got done. But he steered clear of anything to do with the cattle business, having made it clear to his disappointed father that it was simply not the path he wanted to take.

  She, on the other hand, was confined to household duties consisting of mainly what she’d accomplished today, but only one or two chores per day. She’d always envied her brother’s chores, wishing she could be outside in the sunshine. Even Jack’s rainy day chores appeared fun. He offered her a trade-off once when she was seventeen and he was fourteen. She hadn’t gotten halfway through the strenuous physical labor during the stifling mugginess before she had begged him to trade back. Drenched in sticky sweat, with sore blistered palms, she had never envied his chores again.

  Brielle’s heart grew heavy. She didn’t know how her mother had kept up on nearly all the cleaning by herself, along with raising a family. At the time she had taken it all for granted. She wished she’d had a chance to thank her before she died. She settled for now. “Thank you, Mom, for all that you’ve done for us,” she whispered sadly.

  She stared up at the twinkling stars and sighed. Tears threatened to fall, but not tonight. She was hell-bent on keeping them at bay. Too many tears were shed over the last few days. For one night, though her heart was still filled with an agonizing emptiness she couldn’t escape, she was determined to be tear-free.

  She thought of Colt, wondering if he were staring at the same starry sky, thinking of her. She secretly longed to feel his arms around her again. To feel his lips brush against hers. To feel his naked body conform to every inch of her own. She sighed heavily, angry at him for ruining their deep bond. For making her fall in love with the kind of man she despised.

  “Damn you, Colt,” she whispered.

  “I’m sorry, Brielle.” Colt’s voice was full of regret.

  Brielle tensed and sat up, causing the hammock to teeter uncontrollably.

  With casual swiftness, Colt reached out and steadied it. “Please let me talk to you.”

  She crossed her arms and slumped back onto the hammock. “I don’t want to hear anything you have to say.”

  “May I?” He carefully lay down next to her on the hammock.

  “No! You may not!” She tried to sit up to protest, but instead had to clutch his chest to keep from falling. She eased back onto the pillow and quickly drew back her hand as if she’d just been scorched by a hot griddle. She crossed her arms defiantly, her demeanor filled with resentment.

  “I won’t touch you, I promise.” He crossed his arms across his chest and stared up at the universe. “Just hear me out, and then I’ll leave and never look back.”

  “Fine.”

  “Hell.” Colt sighed. “My goal so far was to get you to stop long enough to listen. Now that I got my chance, I don’t even know where to start.”

  After a brief moment of silence, he finally spoke, though his voice held a dismal undertone. “Well, for one, I don’t fraternize with drug dealers, Brielle. It just sort of happened. I…”

  The sound of him swallowing filled the brief silence.

  “I came home from work one night and Roy was at the house. There was a bag of marijuana on the coffee table…” He sighed heavily. “My mom…”

  His voice cracked and tears filled his eyes, but he held them back and cleared his throat.

  “She was in a lot of pain. The medicines weren’t working. A neighbor told her about how marijuana helps to dull the pain. But it’s illegal here in Texas.”

  A chill ran down Brielle’s arms as a thread of sympathy knotted her gut. She bit her lip to keep from interrupting.

  “She was desperate to try anything. So he contacted Roy for her and set up the deal. But the neighbor had ulterior motives. He came over an
d tried to take it for himself. He was all screwed up on drugs. I came home in the middle of it and then a fight broke out … actually, I walloped the neighbor senseless. Then his wife called the police. A squad car just happened to be around the corner. The neighbor and Roy scrammed as soon as they heard the sirens, but the bag was left sitting on the coffee table. I couldn’t let her go to jail. So I took the blame.”

  Brielle’s heart broke all over again. But this time, it was for Colt, and the pain and suffering he’d endured. She placed a shaky hand on her chest. She dared not speak for fear of losing control of her emotions.

  “I was sentenced to thirty days in the county jail. The second night in … she passed away…”

  Quiet tears fell. He swallowed hard before he continued. “And then I was all alone, and I’d just had enough. Enough of jail … enough of Dallas … and enough of not being there for her when she died … The day I was released I left the jail, walked to the bus station, and left without looking back. I needed to get away from that life. I would’ve come back years ago, but I couldn’t leave her to die alone in that rat hole.”

  He chuckled slightly through his tears. “How’s that for irony, huh? She ended up dying alone in the rat hole anyway.” He shook his head and clenched his jaw.

  Brielle felt awful. She couldn’t believe how selfish she’d been over the last few days by avoiding Colt. Not being able to hold back any longer, she finally let her own tears escape.

  “Oh Colt!” She propped up on an elbow to look into his eyes. “I’m so sorry! I’m sorry about your mom, and all that you had to go through for her. About Roy, and jail, and for ever doubting that you were the most honest, caring, loving man that you truly are!” She crushed her lips to his and kissed him with all of her heart.

  Colt kissed her back lovingly. After a long moment he drew away just far enough to speak. “I love you too, baby,” he whispered huskily before he rolled on top of her.