Under the Midnight Stars

by Shawna Gautier

  “You look much better.” Jack followed her inside. He pushed the switch on the wall, illuminating the living room. “But the doctor said to take it easy until they get the test results back. Now get your butt upstairs and get some sleep!” he ordered playfully.

  “Don’t worry, Jack. That’s exactly where I’m headed. I don’t know why they had to keep me half the night.” She yawned her disapproval.

  “To make sure you were done ralphing your guts out. That’s why,” he replied casually. “Now good night,” he urged. “It’s late. Get some rest. I’ll be in the barn if you need me.” He headed down the hall to the kitchen.

  She followed him to the kitchen to get a bottle of water. As she went to the fridge, the breakfast table caught her attention. She envisioned the last meal she’d had with her father, when he divulged all of his plans for the future. And with his passing, and all of the recent chaos, she hadn’t yet shared her father’s plans with Jack.

  “Um, Jack, wait.” Brielle stopped him before he went out the back door. “There’s something I’ve been wanting to talk to you about, but I just never found the right time.” She motioned with her head for Jack to follow her to the breakfast table. She sat in the same seat her father had last sat in, and ran her hand over the smooth tabletop where his hands had last been.

  Jack sat adjacent to her and sprawled back comfortably. “What’s up?”

  Heavy-hearted, Brielle took a minute to mentally prepare herself for the emotional pain that she was about to relive.

  Jack took his hat off and hung it on the back of the chair next to him. He ran a hand through his hair and then crossed his arms. After settling down, he sighed impatiently and opened his mouth to speak, but stopped when his eyes locked with hers. A look of concern crinkled his forehead, but he remained silent.

  Brielle swallowed the lump in her throat before she spoke. “The night of the accident…” Her eyes filled with tears but she held them back. Exhaling deeply, she continued. “That night … before he left for the bar…” She ran her hand over the smooth surface again. “He sat right here … in this very spot … and ate beef stew and biscuits with me.”

  The sadness in Jack’s eyes was evident. He didn’t speak.

  “He told me that he was gonna quit drinking the next day. And that he was gonna start being here for us again.” A warm but painful smile crossed her face. “He said that he was gonna start fixing up the ranch again. But he wasn’t going into the cattle business again — he was gonna fill the ranch with horses this time … because he knew how much you’ve always loved horses.”

  Tears filled Jack’s eyes. His chin trembled. He clenched his jaw to steady it and shook his head as if trying to shake away the pain.

  With an unsteady voice, she continued, “And he said that he couldn’t be more proud that you wanted to be a firefighter…”

  Jack grimaced and shook his head again. Then he rested his forehead on his hand and broke down crying. “It’s all my fault! If I would’ve just taken my phone with me when I went in the house for a glass of water, he’d still be alive today!” He released his pent-up pain.

  Seeing her brother’s sorrow, Brielle was suddenly powerless to stop her own tears. She went to his side and wrapped her arms firmly around him.

  “It’s not your fault, Jack! It’s not! It was never your responsibility to take on the burden of babysitting Dad when he was drunk. You did it because you loved him — not because it was your duty. He should never have come to rely on you in such a way. Never!”

  “I know,” Jack cried against her shoulder. “I know … I just miss him so much!”

  “I know you do…” She cried with him. “I miss him too, Jack… I miss him too…”

  She comforted him for a moment longer before she pulled away and sat back down. Using the back of her hands, she wiped her tears away.

  Jack used the bottom half of his T-shirt to dry his face. He shook his head and sucked in a deep ragged breath. “I just don’t understand why all this has happened to us.”

  Brielle sniffled. “I don’t know … but it’s gotta get better. It’s got to!”

  He nodded. “It sure as hell better.” He exhaled heavily and put his hat back on. “Thanks … I’m really glad you shared this with me.” He sniffed and straightened in his chair. “I felt so guilty every day, thinking I’d let him down because I didn’t wanna help out with the cattle business. I thought he hated me.”

  “No, Jack.” She shook her head. “Dad loved you!”

  “I know that now…” Jack said softly. Tears glistened his eyes again. “And I’m glad he was all right with me being a firefighter. I’d always felt like a disappointment to him … I didn’t know he was proud of me.” He pursed his lips and ran his hands over his eyes to dry the tears before they fell.

  “And you know what I’m gonna do now?” he asked with a renewed sense of confidence as he stood and smacked his hand on the table. “I’m gonna clean out the barn and get it ready for Dad’s horses! Not a whole business of ’em like he’d planned — I can’t run a horse ranch and be a firefighter … But enough to enjoy for ourselves and bring the ranch back to life. Of course, I guess we really can’t call it a ranch anymore. It’s gonna be strange calling it anything else though.”

  Brielle smiled with awe. “Your plan sounds perfect, Jack. But all we really need to call this place is home.”

  Jack grinned. “You’re right … Now” — he grabbed her hands and pulled her to her feet — “you need to march your butt upstairs and get some rest.”

  “Okay, okay. I’m going.” She stopped and stared into his eyes. “I think me and you … we’re gonna be okay.”

  “I think so too.” He winked. “Now go. I’ll be in the barn if you need me.”

  “Goodnight, Jack,” Brielle said as he went outside.

  “’Night, brat,” Jack replied before he shut the door.

  Brielle shook her head and smiled. “Some things will never change, I guess.”

  Exhausted, she got a bottle of water and gulped down half of it on her way to the stairs. She trudged up them, anticipating her warm comfortable bed. But she was sticky with perspiration. She decided to gather some fresh clothes from her bedroom and take a shower before bedding down for the night.

  After her shower, she pulled on a pair of cotton shorts. Then she donned a tank top and another one of her father’s T-shirts, taking in a deep breath as she pulled it over her head. She’d often worn his shirts as nightshirts when she was a little girl — his familiar manly smell had given her a sense of security in the dark. Now, his scent seemed to put her heart at ease.

  Standing in front of the bathroom mirror, she pulled the hairband from her hair and ran a brush through it. Then she quickly brushed her teeth until they sparkled and headed for her bedroom.

  When she opened her bedroom door, a thick cloud of smoke engulfed her, causing her to cough wretchedly. The walls of her room glowed orange.

  She rushed to the window, horrified to see the barn engulfed in flames.

  “Oh my God! Jack!” she shouted fearfully. Looking toward the front of the house, she saw Jack’s car parked next to her truck. She slammed the window shut and fled her room. She went to his bedroom, but it was empty.

  “Jaaack!” she continued to shout as she ran down the stairs, through the house, and out the kitchen door.

  “JACK!” she shrieked in horror as flames shot out of the upper windows of the barn. The doorway was a wall of fire.

  “JAAACK!” she screamed again and started to cry.

  “I can’t let him die! I can’t let him die!” she shouted frantically to herself. “Think, dammit! THINK!”

  She turned and spotted the hose attached to the side of the house. Wasting no time, she yanked off her T-shirt and quickly doused herself and the shirt with the cold water. Then she tied the shirt around her face to cover her nose and mouth, took a deep breath, and rushed toward the flames shooting out of the doorway. Just then, two firm hands on her sh
oulders stopped her dead in her tracks.

  “I don’t think so, baby!” Colt shouted as he spun her around to face him.

  “Colt!” Brielle started to cry.

  She removed her makeshift smoke mask and pointed to the barn. “Jack’s in there!”

  “Give me that!” He took the shirt from her and tied it around his mouth and nose. “I called the fire department — they’re on the way!”

  Brielle nodded and picked up the hose. She doused him completely from his hat to his boots. “Please don’t die!” she pleaded to Colt before he rushed into the barn. “PLEASE DON’T DIE!”

  In the distance, the faint sound of sirens announced that help was on the way.

  Brielle frantically paced back and forth through the blanket of heat surrounding the building. She wiped the sweat from her brow, straining to see through the smoke and flames swallowing the doorway. Colt hadn’t even disappeared into the furious inferno more than a minute ago, but it already seemed an eternity.

  “Oh God, please, please save them!” she prayed breathlessly. There was so much fire. So much smoke.

  Dread filled her. There was still no sign of the men she loved. She glanced down the road as the sirens grew louder, but the flashing lights were still faint. “They’re not gonna make it,” she whispered in a panic.

  She turned her attention back to the barn. It was nearly engulfed. “They’re not gonna make it! It’s too late! There’s too much fire! Oh God, NOOOO!” she shrieked. Losing hope, she clasped her hands behind her head and fell to her knees. “COOOOLT! JAAAACK!” she screamed hopelessly.

  She stared in shock at the spot where she’d last seen Colt before he’d leapt into the mouth of hell. “Please God … PLEASE!” she begged one last time, but her plea was drowned out by the shrill sirens approaching. Flashing red lights bounced all around. She squeezed her eyes shut and opened them again, hoping her nightmare would end. Then, within the smoke and flames a shadow appeared, slowly growing darker and larger as it grew near, before it plunged forward and broke through the fiery wall.

  Colt stumbled from the barn with Jack lying limp in his arms.

  “COOLT!” Brielle screamed with relief.

  Just then the fire-ravaged doorway moaned and snapped, sounding as if a mighty evergreen were about to crash furiously to the earth. A metal bucket rolled out from the upper barn window and fell directly on top of Colt’s head, knocking him forward.

  “NOOOO!” Brielle shrieked and rushed to the two unconscious men. She began to cough profusely from the deadly black cloud choking the air from her lungs.

  Ignoring the heat from the flames as they flicked dangerously near, she grabbed both of their arms and leaned back with the weight of her body, trying with all of her might to drag them to safety.

  Suddenly two firefighters appeared and gathered each of the men into their arms and rushed them away from the engulfed barn.

  Brielle stumbled backward as dizziness overcame her. The sounds of whooshing flames and sirens swirled like a tornado in her head. A shadowy figure appeared and effortlessly whisked her off her feet and carried her away from the thick plume of gray and the scorching heat of hell. She stared in shock at the blurry face of the firefighter looking down at her with worry, before darkness engulfed her.

  SEVENTEEN

  Brielle opened her eyes, squinting from the bright fluorescents above. Her throat and lungs burned as she took in a deep breath. Within an instant, all the memories of Jack and Colt and the barn fire flooded her mind.

  Panicked, she grabbed the arm of the nurse checking her vitals. “Jack? Colt?” she croaked through her parched throat. “Are they alive? Are they okay?”

  The nurse pulled back the curtain and called out to the doctor standing nearby. “She’s awake, doctor.”

  He entered the cubicle-sized space and closed the curtain behind him.

  “Doctor?” she pleaded. “My brother Jack and my boyfriend Colt — how are they?”

  The doctor pulled out a pen light and shined it into her left eye. Then her right. “You know, you being back here so soon saved me the trouble of having to call you with your test results,” he said casually.

  Brielle stared at him blankly.

  He smiled sheepishly. “Sorry — it’s been a long night … Anyway, your brother has a slight concussion and needed some stitches, but he’ll be okay. We’re keeping him overnight.” He glanced at the clock on the wall. It was two thirty in the morning. “I mean through the rest of the morning for observation. He suffered a pretty hard blow to the head. Any idea of how it happened?”

  “Thank God.” She placed a shaky hand over her pounding heart. “No, I don’t know how it happened. I just saw the barn on fire. But what about Colt? How is he?” she asked, fearing the worst.

  “He’s still unconscious. We think his head trauma was more severe. We’re running tests and should know more shortly.”

  “Oh no,” she replied with dread. Her chin began to quiver and tears flooded her eyes. “Is he gonna live?”

  He placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. “We’ll know more when the results come back. Do you know of any family of his we can contact?”

  She shook her head. The tears slid down her face. “No. There’s no one.”

  “There is good news,” he replied kindly. “You and your baby are going to be fine. You just suffered minor smoke inhalation.” He glanced at her chart. “But you can go home tonight. Or, early this morning.” He glanced at the clock on the wall again.

  Brielle sniffed back her tears, holding her breath momentarily. She was sure she’d heard him wrong. “I’m sorry?” She was confused. “Did you just say my baby is fine?”

  “Yes.” He smiled.

  She shook her head. “But I’m not pregnant. I got my period already.”

  The doctor furrowed his brow and referred back to her chart, and after what seemed to be the longest thirty seconds of Brielle’s life, smiled. “You’re pregnant. How heavy was the bleeding?”

  Her jaw dropped open. “Uhhh.” She tried to concentrate on the doctor’s question, finding the simple task nearly impossible. “Uh, just a little spotting. That’s how I usually start. Slight spotting for a couple of days before it gets heavier.” Now that the doctor knew the details, she was sure he’d realize his mistake.

  “That explains it. Slight spotting in the first month is quite normal. There should be no bleeding now.”

  Brielle recalled the last few days. She’d been so sick and broken-hearted that she hadn’t even noticed the spotting had stopped and her period never started. Shock took over. She squished her eyes shut and opened them again, hoping to awaken from her nightmare. But nothing had changed.

  The doctor watched her curiously before he spoke again. “You’re right at four to five weeks along. Your ribs should be completely healed before your waistline starts to expand. You’re a very lucky woman. Your baby has survived a serious car accident, dehydration, and a fire. This one’s determined to be a part of this world. As a matter of fact, you were all very lucky that none of you suffered any burns other than some singed arm hair. And the ends of your hair, I’m afraid.”

  Brielle looked down at a few crimped ends of brittle hair resting on her chest. She didn’t care. It could be easily fixed with a pair of scissors. Colt on the other hand, if he even lived through this nightmare, might be damaged forever.

  “The nurse will bring your discharge papers in shortly. Get plenty of rest, drink plenty of fluids, and follow up with your doctor in a few days. You can get dressed. The clothes you wore in here smell of smoke. They’re in a plastic bag under the bed.” He reached under the bed and handed her a folded gray T-shirt, black sweatpants, and a pair of gray-and-purple running shoes.

  Confused, she stared at her clothing. “How’d these get here?”

  “Some firefighters came to check on all of you and brought y’all some clothes.” He patted her on the arm and left the cramped, non-private space.

  Brielle sat quietly, ho
lding her neatly folded clothing topped with shoes, as the words “you and your baby are going to be fine” flooded her thoughts. Colt’s suspicions had been right. She was pregnant. One hundred percent full-fledged pregnant.

  She recalled Colt’s disappointment when she’d told him that she was sure she wasn’t. That it was just the flu. An ache filled her heart. She wanted to go to him and tell him he was going to be a father. That the woman he loved with all his heart was going to give him a child. But she might never get the chance. He might never know of the miracle he created.

  Her shoulders began to shake as she cried quietly into her hands. She couldn’t take another death. Especially not Colt’s. He had to live. He had to … Unable to just sit around and wait to hear of his condition, she decided to see for herself.

  Quickly, she tossed the covers aside and dressed. When she’d finished, she went straight to the nurses’ station to find out where Jack and Colt were. When the nurse told her that she couldn’t see Colt yet, she was sure it was a bad sign.

  Holding back her tears, she found Jack’s room.

  Jack was sleeping peacefully.

  She quietly made her way to the cushioned chair in the corner and cried herself to sleep.

  The sound of a door closing jarred her from her slumber. She sat up and looked around.

  “Brielle?” Jack whispered hoarsely from the bed.

  She sat up straight and smiled. “Oh Jack. How do you feel?”

  “Like I was hit by a train on fire,” he croaked. He rubbed the back of his head. “What in the hell happened exactly? I woke up in the middle of being stitched up, but no one could give me any real answers.”

  Brielle went to his bedside and poured him a cup of water from the blue pitcher. She noticed his car remote sitting next to it. “Here.” She handed it to him. “Is your car here?”

  He took a sip of water before he answered. “Yep. Some pals from the station dropped it off so we’d have a way home.”

  “Oh, that was nice of them.”