by Kait Nolan
Pru crossed her arms with a huff. “Fine. I won’t go kick his ass. Even though he totally deserves it. But I wish I could do something.”
The truth will set you free. “There is one thing you could do.”
“Name it.”
“Someone needs to let Maggie and Athena know.” Now that the secret was out, she wanted them to know that there’d been a real reason, that she hadn’t just been selfish all these years. “But I’m just...not up for rehashing this all over again. Not right now. If you could explain, it would be a big help.”
“Of course I’ll tell them.”
Kennedy could only hope that the knowledge would improve her relationship with the two of them. But, if nothing else, she’d solidified her relationship with Pru, and she felt just a little bit lighter for having told the tale.
She shoved off the bed. “I should get a shower. I’ll have to pull out all the stops to make myself look not like I’ve been sobbing most of the day.”
“I’ve got a few tricks for that. Get your shower. I’ll go dig out my cucumber eye gel and the eye drops.”
“Thanks.” Kennedy began gathering her work clothes, but she stopped as Pru reached the door. “Pru?”
“Yeah?”
“Thanks for believing in me.”
Her sister’s face softened. “Always.”
~*~
Xander felt like a stalker. He’d been pulling out of his driveway when he remembered Kennedy was starting work at Elvira’s tonight. He considered going by, but nothing he had to say needed an audience. No reason to add further grist to the gossip mill. Plus, the last thing he wanted to do was upset her at work. So he’d waited, driving aimlessly around the county, trying to get his head on straight, to find the right words. Ultimately he’d ended up parked down the street from Elvira’s, waiting for closing.
As downtown Eden’s Ridge emptied, he slid from the Bronco and walked down to the tavern and around back. No bear tonight. But Joan’s SUV—repaired now—was parked beneath the security light with the other employee cars. He kept out of sight, avoiding conversation with anyone else. He didn’t know what Kennedy may have told people about them. That people had asked wasn’t even a question. He’d made sure of that at the diner, and he wasn’t in the mood to explain himself.
Kennedy was almost the last one out.
“Hey.”
Her head shot up, along with her hands. Her car key protruded from between the fingers of one fist. Xander approved of the display of caution and kept well back, in case she felt compelled to use it.
“Sorry. Didn’t mean to startle you.”
Kennedy blew out a breath and dropped her hands. “What are you doing here?”
He shoved his own into his pockets to keep from reaching for her. “Can we talk?”
She hesitated. The harsh security lights illuminated the shadows under her eyes and the faint puffiness that meant she’d been crying.
Xander felt like an even bigger jackass.
“Really talk,” he pressed. “As in a conversation where I listen, without having my head up my ass.”
A light of something he hoped was interest lit her eyes, but her tone was guarded. “Okay. But somewhere else. Your place? Pru and Ari will be sleeping. I don’t want to wake them.”
She was expecting a fight. And why shouldn’t she after last night? He’d all but come out swinging.
“Sure. Meet you there.”
Xander wasn’t any clearer on what to say by the time he unlocked his house and let her inside. “Want anything? Something to drink? A snack?” He felt stupid asking, but basic hospitality was too deeply ingrained not to make the offer.
“No.” Hands tucked under her arms, she crossed over to the sofa and sat. Her expression was guarded, but he took it as a positive sign that she didn’t choose the chair to keep him at a definitive distance. She didn’t say a word, just waited with a stiffness bordering on brittle. So he sat beside her, close but not touching. He didn’t have the right to touch her.
“I’ve been trying to figure out how to say this all day.”
“Your actions spoke pretty clearly last night.” Her quiet words were a slap.
Xander winced. “I’m not proud of that. And I’m not going to make excuses. I’m sorry. I’m so goddamned sorry. For what he did to you. To us. And for my reaction. You’re not to blame for any of this. I was an asshole last night. I know how hard it’s always been for you to trust people. When I’m in my right mind, I know that. I know it was a huge deal that I was one of the few you did trust.” God, it killed him to say that in the past tense.
“The fact is, since you came back, it felt like nothing had changed. Not really. It was easy to dive back in because it’s what I’d always wanted, deep down. And because nothing really had changed for me. But things did change for you. My father terrorized you. To the point that you couldn’t risk trusting even the handful of people you’d depended on. And it was a dick thing for me to get angry with you for not trusting me like you’d always trusted me. For not taking into account how what he did affected you, not just us. So I’m sorry.”
Kennedy watched him with serious green eyes. “It was never about trust. Not now anyway. I didn’t want to destroy your family. I know what that’s like, and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.”
She’d put him first. He could see that now. Maybe he didn’t agree with how she’d done it, but she’d avoided the easy road of shifting all the blame to his father. He had to respect the strength of that.
“You didn’t deserve any of this.”
She dropped her hands to her lap, shoulders slumping with utter exhaustion. “It’s not about deserving. And either way, it’s done. It’s over.”
“I hate what he did to us.”
“So do I. But we’re never getting that time back, no matter how much we wish it or how hard we mourn it. Believe me, I know. I’ve had considerably longer to do it. This thing has been a shadow on my life for a decade, and God, I just want to move past it.”
It was going to take him a while longer to process everything. To make his peace with it and figure out what he wanted to do next with his life, his work. But one thing was crystal clear. “I hope you will. With me. If I haven’t fucked it all up.”
“You said we were a mistake.”
She might as well have punched him in the gut. He wished he could punch himself for saying that.
“Trying to pretend the last ten years didn’t happen was the mistake. We’re older, more mature, and at least one of us is wiser. But we’ve never been a mistake.” He reached out to take her hand and found her fingers cold. “I love you. I’ve always loved you. I’ll never think that’s a mistake.”
Kennedy shut her eyes, her face twisting as she drew in a long, shuddering breath. Xander’s heart gave a simultaneous twist. He’d ruined everything. The tears glimmering in her lashes were confirmation enough of that.
“I spent years imagining this, you know. How it would go, if you ever found out the truth. You were always furious with your father. You’re too honorable a man not to be. But I could never quite envision a scenario where this was a possibility. Where, in the end, you still loved me.”
Her hand tightened in his and she opened her eyes. There were tears, yes, and a heartbreaking fragility he knew she’d shown few others. It was a measure of that trust he’d thought he’d lost, and it humbled him.
Cupping her face, he stroked away her tears. “I do. I love you. I’ll say it as many times as you need to hear it.”
Eyes searching his, she reached out to lay a palm against his cheek. “Show me.”
Chapter Thirteen
XANDER DREW HER IN, stroking a hand back through her hair before laying his lips on hers. The tenderness in his touch felt like a benediction. He knew all, and he still loved her. The miracle of that had her clinging to him, as if he were a dream that would turn to smoke and disappear. Under the gentle coaxing of his mouth, she began to unwind, releasing the tension and anxiety o
f the past couple of days. With each, slow degree, her heart began to ache a little less.
His hands slipped beneath her shirt, skimming up her spine. Her skin shivered, then heated as those calloused fingers spanned her shoulders, pulling her to him until she felt surrounded. Until she felt safe. It had been so long since she’d felt truly safe. His mouth moved across her cheek, along the shell of her ear and down the column of her throat. Her head fell back to give him better access. He took his time, trailing languorous kisses up the other side, inching up her shirt as he went. His big hands swept up her rib cage and brushed at the underside of her breasts. They went full and heavy, her nipples taut and aching for his touch.
Kennedy reached back, tugging the shirt up and over her head. She wished she were wearing something other than the plain cotton bra, something sexy, with satin or lace. But Xander’s eyes were dark as his gaze roamed over the newly exposed flesh. They went darker still as she released the catch and drew it off. When he pressed her back, she didn’t resist, already anticipating the welcome weight of his big body. But he didn’t follow her down, moving instead down the length of her to pull off her shoes. It was such a basic thing, but it did something to her, seeing this powerfully-built man, with her shoe in his hand. Somewhere deep down, something shifted. The wall she’d erected to protect herself when she’d been forced to flee family, friends, and safety began to crumble. And she could let it because he would take care of her.
“Let me see you.” Her voice felt thick.
With hooded eyes, Xander tugged off his shirt.
Kennedy’s mouth went dry. He’d been in amazing shape back in high school. Football, baseball, and good genes had made sure of that, and she’d more than enjoyed his body. But now...now he was beautiful. His chest was broader, thicker, with a smattering of hair that trailed down the center and disappeared beneath the waistband of jeans that did little to hide an impressive erection. She watched the flex of Xander’s biceps as he held himself over her, admiring the curve of muscle, giving in to the temptation to touch. His strength was intoxicating.
He planted one knee on the sofa, between her thighs, as he bent to her chest, pulling one budded nipple into his mouth. She arched up, the growing ache in her center brushing against his leg. It wasn’t enough. It wasn’t nearly enough to assuage the pulsing need, but she pressed against him, rubbing, seeking in time to his suckling. Switching to the other breast, he reached between them, working open her belt, unfastening the tab of her jeans and drawing the zipper down.
When his hand slid inside her panties, she cried out, bucking into him, needing more of that deliciously possessive touch. Confined by her jeans, the heat of his skin and the pressure of his hand against her core was an exquisite torment.
She wrapped her hand around his wrist and slid the other in to cover his. “More.”
Acquiescing to her demand, Xander flexed his fingers, working them slowly between her folds, until he slid one into her wet heat. Kennedy writhed, trying to take him deeper. He added a second finger as he kissed her again, dipping his tongue into her mouth. She welcomed it, welcomed the thrusting rhythm he set. Her hips rose and fell, riding his fingers until her body screamed over that first, brutal edge.
As she came back to herself, Xander was carrying her. To a bed, she hoped, because her legs weren’t going to function for anything vertical. He climbed a set of dark stairs, headed down a short hall, and turned into a bedroom. She had a dim impression of big, rustic furniture before he laid her down on the wide, soft mattress. He tugged off her jeans, taking her underwear with them to leave her fully naked. The cool air felt glorious against her heated skin. He followed suit, shedding the last of his clothes and climbing in after her. Then she was lost to sensation, his hard to her soft, as he kissed her again and stoked the flames. She surrendered to him utterly, greedily soaking up everything he gave her, until he forced her to wait, impatient, body vibrating with need, as he rolled away to sheath himself. Then he covered her, his heavier weight pressing her into the mattress.
She welcomed him in the cradle of her hips, arching up to meet him as he slid inside her at last. It was coming home in a way nothing else could be. Love and relief crashed through her, washing away the grief.
This—he—was everything.
Kennedy didn’t know she was crying until he kissed away her tears.
“Don’t cry, Lark. I’ve got you.”
“Xander.” It was all she could manage past the tightness in her throat. So she framed his face in her hands and kissed him, wrapping her legs tighter around his waist.
He began to move, pressing deeper into her, filling all the empty places with his slow, inexorable rhythm. This was more, so much more than what they’d been before. The sweetness of it buoyed her, sweeping her up in a tide of pleasure that left no room for thought, no room for anything but him.
“Look at me,” he ordered.
Kennedy forced her eyes open, blinked past the blindness of passion to look into his eyes. The fierce tenderness there rocked her.
“With me.” He thrust harder, deeper. “With me,” he repeated, and pushed them both over the edge.
Her body pulsed around him as he shuddered through his release, then collapsed like a dead weight on top of her. She couldn’t really breathe and didn’t care. Xander was breathing hard enough for the both of them, his chest heaving against hers, the warmth of his exhalation tickling her throat. Kennedy slid one hand into the fine hair at his nape, rubbing slow circles as their hearts slowed and she basked in the aftershocks of their lovemaking.
When he shifted to roll off her, she tightened her arms and legs. “Don’t you dare. You’re perfect exactly where you are.”
“Practicalities to take care of,” he murmured, pressing a kiss to her cooling skin.
“Damn it.”
She felt his smile against her throat.
“I’ll be right back.”
Kennedy watched his retreating backside for a long moment, admiring the perfection of his ass, before she mustered enough energy to burrow under the covers. He was back less than a minute later, hauling her against him and tangling their legs with a sigh of satisfaction.
“This. This is what we never got to do back in high school.”
“I concede it’s a definite benefit to being adult lovers.” She snuggled in, wrapping tight around him. “God, you feel good. There’s nothing like skin on skin.”
“I am completely okay with you remaining naked for the duration of your stay. Which, for the record, I hope will be until morning.”
Warm and happy, she pressed a kiss against his chest. “I always wanted to wake up with you.”
“Who said anything about sleeping?”
Kennedy stopped laughing when she ran her hand down his belly and found him already semi-hard again. “Sleep is entirely overrated.”
“We’ve got a little while yet. Tell me something good.”
“Something good?”
His hand strayed lower, tracing lazy patterns on her butt. “We’ve had a lot of awful the last couple of days. I feel like we need to focus on something good to balance it.”
“What we just did felt pretty damned fantastic.”
“Just warming up.”
She drilled a finger into his ribs. “Cocky.”
He laughed and captured her hand. “Confident.”
“I’d argue, but I’m clearly the beneficiary in this scenario.”
“I’d say the benefits are pretty mutual. But seriously, there has to be something good. With Ari? Or your sisters?”
Kennedy thought of the plan she’d been in the midst of constructing when he’d come over last night. “Well, I don’t know if it constitutes something good exactly, but I think I know how to save the house and land.”
“Yeah?”
“Partly inspired by you, actually.”
He listened intently as she described her idea for turning the house into an inn.
“It doesn’t have to be a huge out
lay. We have this massive house, with all these bedrooms already. By my calculations, we could have eight guest rooms and still maintain the family space. They’d just need some paint, some spit and polish, and we can outfit most of them with furniture we’ve already got. The only areas where we might need to make a splurge would be on quality linens. But other than that, application for a business license, and setting up a website to get the word out, we could be up and running in a month or six weeks, to take advantage of the spring tourism season. It would take a little time to build a following, but we’d know by the end of the year whether it’s a viable option. And if it is, there are options for expansions.”
“That makes so much sense.”
She bit her lip. “You don’t think it’s stupid?” What she really meant was, You don’t think I’m stupid? It hadn’t felt like a dumb idea, while she’d been pulling it together, but sharing it with someone else made it bigger, scarier.
“Absolutely not. This plays perfectly into what the mayor and city council are wanting to do. You’ve worked in pretty much every area of the hospitality industry, so you’re the perfect person to pull the concept together. It’s brilliant.”
Something in her relaxed. She hadn’t realized how much she’d needed to hear someone else back her up. “Well, I don’t know about brilliant, but it’s workable. And so far it’s the only idea on the table.”
“What did your sisters say?”
“I haven’t told them yet. I’ve been trying to get everything pulled together and organized so that I can present the whole thing in a formal business plan, like Maggie would do it. None of them expect this kind of thing from me, and I want them to take me seriously.”
“If you tell them what you just told me, they can’t help but take you seriously. It’s a smart move, Kennedy. More, I think it’s something your mom would’ve liked.”
He believed in her. No one but Joan had ever believed in her like he did. Was it any wonder she still loved him?
Untangling their legs, she rolled until she straddled him.