Before I Let You Go

by Angie Daniels

  Diamere paused. “Tell me you want me,” he commanded in a soft, low voice.

  Reaching up, Kelly stroked his face with the tips of her fingers, running them across his cheek, jaw and his strong neck. “I want you,” she breathed.

  He smiled. “And I want you.” He carried her over to the bed and lowered her onto it. It was massive and plush, with a comforter so thick she felt as if she had stepped inside heaven.

  He looked down at her, lying there on the huge bed. “You’re so beautiful,” he said softly.

  Her eyes rested on Diamere as he undid the buttons of his shirt. She could only watch as he pulled the shirt off and tossed it onto an upholstered chair in the corner. Her eyes lingered on his beautiful lean chest, which was nothing short of perfect. She was dying to run her fingers across his nipples, and was certain that, before the night was over, she would. Mesmerized by what was about to happen, Kelly could not move. She knew she needed to tell him the truth before it was too late, but she couldn’t do anything except lie there and watch as Diamere removed the rest of his clothes.

  The entire time, he looked down at her, his gaze holding her immobilized. He unbuckled his belt, then unzipped his pants, and they fell to the floor, followed by his boxers. Panic caused her eyes to widen at the sight of him. He was large. So large her pulse raced. There was no way a woman could accommodate such a man. Yet, despite her fear, her body began to hum with a need she didn’t understand.

  Naked, Diamere lowered himself onto the bed beside her and carefully loosened the buttons of her dress, finally pulling it over her head with slow deliberation. He reached behind her, unsnapped her bra and tossed it aside, freeing her breasts. Kelly swallowed and they peaked beneath his gaze, and for one painfully long moment she simply stared at him, letting him look at her. Then, exhaling with a sigh, she murmured, “Diamere, I need to tell…” Her voice trailed off as his lips closed around a nipple. “Diamere…” Again she gave a blissful sigh.

  His lips were like nothing she had ever felt. Although she was still a virgin, she’d had moments where kissing had led to serious petting and touching, forms of foreplay that she always stopped before things got out of hand. But that didn’t compare to what he was doing to her. This was what making love was truly all about. She needed him. She didn’t care if it was only one night; it didn’t matter if she might have regrets tomorrow. All she knew was that this was the moment she had been waiting for all her life.

  His lips traveled downward to her belly, and not long after that he slipped her panties down her hips, and she heard the sound of him ripping open what must be a condom. Nervousness pounded through her, but quickly subsided when he kissed her again as his body covered hers.

  “I can’t wait any longer. I’ve got to have you.” With a soft growl of need, Diamere positioned himself between her trembling thighs, and in one smooth motion entered her. Feeling the strong, swift thrust of his body into hers, Kelly cried out in pain, and Diamere paused.

  “Please don’t stop,” she protested, almost pleading, when he remained motionless.

  Raising himself up on his arms, he looked down at her for the longest time with concern in his eyes. He knew what had happened. Just when she thought he was about to refuse, he leaned down and his mouth devoured hers, hungrily, heatedly. Now that he knew her secret, she was confident he would be gentle and take his time with her.

  He caressed her with tender hands and melting lips, and as her body began to relax, he reentered her slowly. Sweet desire tore through her as he established a rhythm for them. It wasn’t long before her muscles responded and the tightness ceased, and she felt nothing but pleasure from every stroke of his body inside hers. And the sweetest bliss of all was the knowledge that she finally knew what it was like to be with a man. What it was like to make love to Diamere.

  It was sweet and unbearable, pleasure and pain all rolled up in one, with him lying on top of her, his body sliding inside, filling every inch of her, setting her soul on fire. Kelly’s mouth clung to Diamere’s. Her arms were wrapped around him, holding him close as he fed her hunger, and yet it wasn’t tight enough. This was what she had waited all these years to experience. She also knew it wouldn’t have been this way with anyone else but him, because their connection ran deeper than anything she felt for any other man.

  Diamere’s strokes were slow and controlled. Withdrawing, thrusting and withdrawing again. Flames moved through her veins and something she couldn’t even begin to describe began to build. She was so close to the edge. Her body tightened around him. Diamere lengthened his strokes and Kelly found that her body knew more about what was happening to her than she did. On their own, her hips began to rock, meeting him stroke for blissful stroke. Even her hands had a mind of their own as they gripped his backside, shortening his strokes, pulling him in even deeper. All she knew was that she needed desperately to feel everything Diamere Redmond had to offer.

  “You like this?” he asked.

  She barely had a chance to murmur yes before he began moving his body again, only this time with more powerful strokes, and with every trust, she felt that unfamiliar sensation that lit her body like a torch.

  “Diamere…” Her moan was breathless, as if she was begging him never to stop.

  He lifted his head and gazed down at her. She stared up at him, admiring the shadows that danced across his face from the moonlight shining through the window. Her heart flipped. Diamere was making sweet love to her now.

  “Diamere,” she breathed again.

  “I’m right here, sweetheart,” he whispered against her lips. “I’m not going anywhere.”

  He began to lengthen his strokes again and she arched her body to his. Time seemed to stand still. All she could see was the passion burning in his eyes. Still slow and controlled, his strokes deepened within her even more and she rocked her hips and thrashed her head against her pillow.

  Heat spread through her body and she cried out as sensations raged, like nothing she’d ever felt before. Diamere continued to move, controlled yet urgent, and the unstoppable stimulation went on and on until he finally cried out, as well. She clung to him as she felt his body convulse into hers. She moaned audibly until, with one final pulse, he sighed, and suddenly the weight of his exhausted body was lying on top of her.

  As soon as his breathing stilled, he raised up on his elbows and stared down at her. Her heart was pounding, her body shaken over what she had just experienced. She waited for what felt like forever before he finally spoke.

  “Did I hurt you?” he asked, his expression filled with concern.

  Hurt was definitely not one of the things she was feeling. The only thing in jeopardy of being hurt was her heart. “No.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  She met his eyes. “Would you have changed your mind if you had?”

  He took a moment to consider his answer. “No. I’ve wanted that for a long time. But if I knew, I would have taken more time and been more gentle.”

  “You didn’t hurt me. I wanted it.”

  He kissed her lips and asked, “Why me?”

  Briefly, she lowered her eyelids and blew out a long breath. “I was tired of being a virgin, and if I did it with anyone, I’m glad it was with you. I know you and I trust you.” She wanted to say, It was my gift to you. Because I saved my virginity for the man I love. As much as she didn’t want it to be true, she had fallen in love with Diamere for the second time. A part of her believed that she had never stopped loving him. The realization that she still loved him caused her to choke back a sob. No. This is not happening.

  “Thank you for giving me the honor.” He brushed his lips against her nose and cheek. “Am I too heavy?”

  “No,” she whispered. The only thing heavy was her heart.

  Diamere stared at her a few seconds longer. His look shook her to her core. He lowered his head and pressed his lips against hers, then feathered kisses across her face. With a deep sigh, he moved onto the bed beside her, then rest
ed his head against the crook of her neck and within seconds drifted off to sleep.

  Kelly lay there wrapped in the comfort of his warm body nestled beside her. For the longest time she simply listened to his deep breathing. I could get used to this. And that was a problem. Diamere had finally made love to her. She had given him her virginity, he had taken her to a place she had dreamed about going with him for years, and now, as she lay there in his bed, she was ready for him to make love to her again. Kelly frowned. Things were not going at all the way she had planned. The purpose of them making love was so she would be rid of her virginity and finally be able to close that chapter in her life. As soon as she had a nap she was going to insist that Diamere take her home.

  Feeling more at ease, she closed her eyes and snuggled close to him.

  “What are you thinking about?” he asked, breaking into her thoughts.

  She buried her head against his shoulder. “Nothing. I thought you were asleep.”

  His arms tightened around her. “Nope. I’m not sleepy. Just thinking,” he whispered close to her ear.

  “What are you thinking about?” she dared to ask.

  He leaned over and very softly kissed her. “You.”

  Diamere’s words and the warmth of his smile nearly made her lose control. “What about me?” Kelly turned on her side and looked at him.

  “How beautiful you are. How good we are together.” Oh, how she wished that were true. Diamere covered her with his warm body again and gazed down at her. “I can think of a way to put you to sleep.”

  She looked up at him, eyes half-closed, and smiled. “I bet you can show me better than you can tell me.” She slid her arms around his neck as Diamere leaned down and kissed her. He had the sweetest, softest lips. She opened her mouth for him and felt his body harden. Within minutes he was inside her once more, the two of them moving in perfect rhythm. They reached their release together, a fierce climax that had them both crying out with the greatest pleasure. As she lay there curled against his side afterward, she listened as his breathing deepened, and together they drifted into an exhausted sleep.

  Chapter 11

  Diamere opened his eyes and blinked several times before he realized it was morning. As soon as he noticed his crumpled shirt flung over a chair in the corner, visions of the night before flooded his mind. He rolled onto his back and lay there with a smile curled on his lips as he relived the night the two of them had had. One word immediately came to mind. Explosive. It certainly was, to say the least. Not to mention intense. Those were two things he hadn’t had in a long, long time.

  And you’ve never been with a virgin.

  Diamere sucked in a deep breath. A virgin. It was still hard to believe that Kelly had held on to her virginity all these years and had given him the honor. A warm feeling curled in the pit of his stomach at the thought of her gesture. A part of him wished she had confided in him, so he would have been prepared to take things slow and gentle. But he couldn’t help but wonder if he would have changed his mind if he had known. Then he lowered his eyelids and visions of her lying on his bed flooded his mind, and he knew without a doubt that nothing would have stopped him from having her. Giving him her virginity made what they had shared that much more incredible. Her gift meant more to him than she would ever know. And for some odd reason he now felt as if Kelly belonged to him. He shook off the thought and stretched his arms above his head.

  Last night was supposed to be about sharing the moment, but he discovered that nothing involving Kelly was that simple. He had wanted her from the moment he had first laid eyes on her at the nightclub. He wasn’t sure when he’d last woken up after making love to a woman and felt this good.

  He couldn’t help but wonder if he had been a little too rough. Maybe this morning he would suggest she take a long, hot soak in the tub. Last night had been Kelly’s first experience, and Diamere knew he should have given her time to adjust to being with a man. But after round one, just lying next to her luscious body, he couldn’t resist the strong desire to be buried inside her again. And again, he thought as he remembered making love with her a third time just as the sun began to rise. Blood flowing to his lower regions signaled he was more than willing for a little appetizer before breakfast. But he was being selfish. After their intense lovemaking he would have to allow her time to adjust.

  He felt the space beside him and it was still warm. Kelly hadn’t been gone long.

  Diamere took a deep breath and tried to stay in control. He hadn’t felt like this in years and yet somehow, in the course of a night, that little lady had gotten under his skin. She brought out a side of him that he hadn’t known still existed. Never before had something felt so right. And he wasn’t ready for it to end. The thought of spending the rest of the weekend with Kelly, lying in bed, was too tempting an opportunity to pass up.

  Diamere dragged a hand across his face as he tried to convince himself it was nothing. As long as they both understood there were no emotional attachments or regrets, then what was the harm of continuing to see each other until one or the other decided they were ready for their arrangement to end? He smiled, feeling pleased with this plan. The idea was perfect.

  Anxious to talk to Kelly about his proposal, Diamere flung off the sheet and rose. Moving to the dresser, he reached for a pair of shorts, slipped them on and went down the hall. When he found Kelly sitting at the kitchen table, he stopped in his tracks.

  The look on Diamere’s face said he wasn’t expecting her to be dressed. Kelly took a sip from her mug and tried not to notice how good he looked standing in the doorway with his chest bare. Diamere’s shorts hung low on his hips and her traitorous eyes followed the sprinkle of hair that traveled down his abdomen and disappeared beneath the elastic band there. Feeling the temperature suddenly rising in the room, she took another sip of her coffee and resisted the urge to fan herself. If Diamere asked, she wouldn’t hesitate to pull off her clothes and drag him back to bed. After one night she was a wanton woman. One thing was for sure, she now knew what the word horny meant.

  Kelly pulled her eyes from Diamere’s naked chest and focused on the frown on his face. “Good morning. I made coffee.”

  He pushed himself away from the door and his smile slowly reemerged. “How about I make us breakfast in bed?”

  If the circumstances were different, she might have reconsidered. Lowering her eyes, she focused on her mug as she spoke, not trusting herself to look at him. “Oh, no. I shouldn’t. I’ve got a million things to do this morning. So as soon as you’re dressed, I’ll be ready to head home.” Kelly didn’t have a thing planned today except to repot a couple of plants. But the sooner she put some distance between them the better. Being around Diamere was hazardous to her heart. Rising, she moved to the sink and rinsed out her cup.

  “Is something wrong?”

  Kelly looked over her shoulder and noted the confusion in Diamere’s eyes. Yes, there’s something wrong. I’m still in love with you. “No, why would you think that?”

  He stared at her for a long moment and she felt her body quiver before he nodded and said, “Just give me a few minutes and I’ll be ready to go.” With that he headed to the coffeepot and poured himself a cup, then turned and walked back down the hall to his room.

  After he was gone, Kelly leaned against the counter and tried to pull herself together. This is not going to be easy. The look of disappointment in his eyes was proof of that. Last night had been a mistake. She knew that the moment she woke up and found herself lying in his bed with no desire to leave. She had felt totally at ease while there, as if lying in Diamere’s arms was the most natural thing to do. She could have easily stayed there all morning and waited for him to waken, but if she had she might not have moved all weekend. Even now, if Diamere returned to the kitchen and asked her to stay, she would willingly succumb. Goodness, it was amazing how all of a sudden she had needs and only Diamere could meet them.

  It wasn’t supposed to be this way. Last night had been all
about finally finding out what it was like to be with Diamere. Getting him out of her system and discovering the man she once loved had been nothing more than a childhood fantasy, with no substance at all. There had been men in her past she had truly liked, and only after a few dates had she discovered the relationship was not all it had been cracked up to be. But this…this had been different. Sex had only reinforced what she had known all alone—Diamere was her soul mate. No, this was not at all the way it was supposed to be. She wanted to be able to close this chapter of her life and move on, and not spend the rest of her life wondering what if. Instead, she had fallen in love again.

  Kelly returned to her seat. She rested her elbow on the table and placed her chin in the palm of her hand. A feeling of dread settled in the pit of her stomach at the thought of never seeing Diamere again. Was she really having second thoughts? Did she really want more? Deep down she did, but there was no way she was going to allow herself to explore that option. Ending the relationship was the right thing, she was certain. Diamere had made it clear he wasn’t looking for anything serious, and the last thing he needed was a woman falling in love with him. As much as she wished things could be different, they couldn’t.

  “All set if you are.”

  At the sound of his voice, Kelly pushed those ridiculous thoughts of forever aside and gazed at the man in question, standing in the doorway in jeans and a T-shirt, with car keys in his hand.

  “Let me get my purse and we can go.”

  The drive back to Delaware was relatively quiet. She was grateful that the stereo was on and Lyfe was singing about change. Something had definitely changed in her life and she wasn’t even thinking about her virginity.

  Diamere pulled up in front of her building and put the car in Park, but left the motor running, making it clear he had no intention of coming in.

  “When can I see you again?” His question took her by surprise.