American Honey

by Heidi McLaughlin

  “It’s time for you to move along, son.” A police officer gestures to my truck.

  “Yes, sir.” I nod before glancing at the doors Bethany disappeared through one last time.

  It’s a tossup between overthinking things and blasting some tunes on the way back to the farm. I opt for Metallica. I’ve been in my head enough already. The drive back is strangely invigorating. When I get back to the farm, I’ve almost forgotten about my foot, until I stumble and it all comes back to me.

  I’m still jacked up; what in the hell can a girl like Bethany see in me now? I’m never going to be a rich man; that’s not the point of the farm. I’m no slouch, but now with my foot, I can’t even guarantee I can walk across a flat service without tripping. I’m an embarrassment. Maybe she’ll figure out that she’d be better off without me.

  “Take Bethany to the airport?” Bess asks as I slowly make my way to the main house.

  “I did.”

  “You gonna sulk the whole time she’s gone?”

  Frowning at her, I reply, “I might.”

  She makes a face at me. “Don’t make me take you over my knee.”

  I laugh at her idle threat. “You never spanked me when I was a kid. Why would you start now?”

  “To get your head out of your butt.”

  Gripping the railing tightly as I work my way up the stairs, I say, “My head is not up my ass.”

  Her head twists, as she looks around her. “Language, Beau, what if one of the kids was around.”

  “I don’t curse around kids, Bess.”

  She pats my cheek as I near her. “Cause you’re a sweet boy. Please try and remember that and not get so annoyed at that nice girl for worrying over you.”

  Leaning against the frame of the front door, I glance back at her. “I already have a mother, two counting you. I don’t need another one.”

  “Did Bethany ever tell you she was engaged once?”

  My mind races as I turn fully to face her. “Excuse me?”

  She sinks onto one of the rocking chairs and folds her hands across her lap. “It probably isn’t my place to even tell you that, but just know I think you’re being too hard on that sweet girl when all she is doing is worrying over you.”

  “What happened to her fiancé?”

  “I think you should ask Bethany to tell you.”

  Groaning, I turn back toward the house, pulling open the door. Problem is if Bethany wanted to tell me what she clearly told Bess, she would’ve already done it. Does she trust Bess more than me? I had thought we were moving toward something long term. If she has another guy waiting in the wings, maybe she’s toying with me.

  I don’t like that one bit.

  There’s some paperwork I need to take care of for a couple upcoming deliveries. It is the one aspect of the farm no one hassles me about doing since I’ve come home from the hospital.

  That night, instead of having dinner at the main house, I see my parents. The whole point of them living in the far cabin is for them to not have to deal with the day-to-day worries of running the farm. Since I got bit, my mom has been spending more time at my cabin and the main house to keep an eye on me. I tried to tell her, just as I told Bethany and Bess, that I am fine. Doesn’t stop her from needing to take care of me.

  I’ve finally convinced her that I’ll live so she’s back fulltime at their cabin. Now when I go see them, I take my truck the whole way. Any walking I do in the woods, which isn’t much, is in long pants and boots. My days of walking in shorts and sneakers are over. That’s more in my head than anything else. I have the EpiPen on me at all times, so in theory, if I were to get bit by another snake, or hell, have a similar allergic reaction to anything, I should be all right if I use it.

  My nose tells me before I get to the cabin that we’re grilling tonight. The cabin my parents live in does not have electricity. My mom cooks on the wood stove in the winter months and my dad mans the charcoal grill. The pond behind my parents’ cabin is loaded with fish for grilling.

  I skip the front door and walk straight to the back porch where I assume my folks will be. My mom is setting the table while my father is tending the grill.

  “Hey, Mama,” I greet, giving her a kiss on the cheek.

  She pulls me in for a hug. “How are you feeling?”

  Shrugging, I lift my foot. “Still no feeling, but I’m getting better walking around on it.”

  My father comes over to pat me on the back. “That’s good to hear.”

  “How are you doing, Pops?”

  “Better than most so I can’t complain.”

  It’s not in his nature to complain. He’s a simple man. He’d rather cut off a limb than complain. Unfortunately, because of that, it had taken almost losing him to a heart attack for the rest of us to realize he was overdoing it.

  “Pity Bethany couldn’t join us,” my mother adds, looking at the three place settings on the table.

  “I dropped her off at the airport earlier today,” I explain, then pull my phone out of my pocket to see if she’s called. Her flight should be landing soon.

  “How are the fruit trees looking this year?” my dad asks, glancing at my mom.

  He knows we purposefully keep him out of the loop so he has no excuse to worry. “I’m not happy with a couple of the pear trees. I’m not sure what it is, but some of the branches are looking diseased. I’ve been treating them, but if I don’t see improvement in the next week or so, I’m cutting them down.”

  “That would be a shame.” My mother frowns.

  “I could take a look at them if you’d like,” my dad offers.

  I glance at my mother before looking back at him. “Nah, I’ve got this covered, Dad.”

  The orchard is probably the prettiest part of the farm, especially when all the fruit trees are in bloom. I spent my childhood climbing those trees and agree with my mom; it would be a shame to lose a couple. It’ll be even worse to lose all of them. I love those trees. Do some of my best thinking under their boughs. There’s a better chance than not I’ll end up in the orchard tonight to process what Bess told me.

  I haven’t even decided if I’ll ask Bethany about it when she calls. Part of me is not even sure I want to talk to her. I slip my phone out again to see if she’s called. An emotion I can’t define, that’s somewhere between relief and frustration when I see she hasn’t, fills me. Shoving my phone back into my pocket, I focus on spending time with my parents instead. We’ve finished the main course and my mom is about to serve the cake I brought with me when my phone rings.

  “It’s okay, son. You can take it,” my dad says after witnessing my hesitation to answer it.

  After pressing accept, I hold the phone to my ear. “Hello.”

  I push back from the table and slowly make my way down to the pond.

  “I just landed. I’m still on the plane. There’s another plane at the gate we’re supposed to pull up to so we’re just sitting on the runway until it moves.”

  “How was your flight?”

  “Good until now,” she grumbles.

  “Are your parents picking you up from the airport?”

  “My mom is. Oh, we’re moving.”

  “That’s good.” I hesitate, knowing now is not the time but my curiosity gets the better of me. “Why didn’t you tell me you were engaged?”

  Her gasp is clear through the phone. “How did you—”

  “Bess told me,” I cut her off.

  “It’s a long story.”

  “One you trusted Bess with but not me.”

  “It’s not something I like to talk about.”

  A firefly lights up not far from where I stand, painfully reminding me of the night we laughed and chased them behind her house.

  “I’m sorry to hear that.”

  “Beau—” she starts.

  “I hope you have a nice visit with your parents, Bethany. I should go now.”

  “I see.”

  “Goodbye.”

  I end the call after I
hear her subdued voice in return.

  “Bye,” she whispers.

  Chapter Seven

  “You want me to what?”

  “You heard me,” I groan.

  “Why can’t you pick her up? She’s expecting you.”

  Bethany and I haven’t spoken since the call where I asked her about her engagement. She’d called a couple times but I ignored them. I wasn’t prepared to deal with what she had to say.

  “I just can’t.”

  Bess stands, wiping her hands on her apron. “This behavior is not the Beau I know.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” I stand firm.

  “When I told you about her fiancé, it wasn’t for you to push her away. It was to explain why she was acting the way she was.”

  “Your plan backfired, Bess. All it did was make me question why she never told me about this guy. What? Does he want her back?” I snap.

  “I can see now it was a mistake to say anything at all, but just so you know, her fiancé passed away two months before they were supposed to get married.”

  “He what?”

  “You heard me,” she throws my own words back in my face.

  Here I was acting all jealous and insecure over a ghost. “I’m an asshole.”

  She doesn’t even fuss at me for swearing. “Sometimes.”

  “I won’t be needing you to pick her up from the airport.”

  “I figured as much.”

  Hell, I’ve made a big mess out of everything. First, I pushed Bethany away for caring about me. Now, I’ve distanced myself even more because I don’t feel good enough for her. It’s about time I got over my shit and started acting like a man worthy of the attention Bethany was giving me.

  I have a lot to think about on the drive to the airport. Whether the outcome be good or bad, I need to tell Bethany how much she means to me and the reason I pushed her away in the first place. I’m scared, scared I’m not man enough for her after the bite, and scared she will leave me after I found out she had been engaged before. Those were embarrassing things to admit to myself, let alone her.

  I made good time on my drive, and since I beat her plane, I decided to park and meet her at the baggage claim instead of on the curb. Walking around on paved surfaces is much easier than almost anywhere on the farm. I focus on taking my time. That, plus the smooth walkways makes my limp less noticeable.

  Once I find the carousel her luggage is being sent to, I wait. There’s a rush of people; I’m assuming from her plane, but I don’t see her. It’s when I head in the direction of the gates. That’s when I find her, walking slowly, pulling an extra bag for an older gentleman. He’s walking with a walker peacefully chatting with her as they make their way to baggage claim.

  She looks amazing, her long pale green sundress showing a hint of her ankle with every step she takes. Her auburn curls shine as they frame her beautiful face. I’m a fool for pushing this stunning creature away.

  That’s when it hits me; this is just who she is, a caring person. How lucky am I that she cares for me! How blessed I should feel that she wants to be with me and how stupid would I be to not treasure the gift of it. I meet them halfway.

  “Bethany.”

  She seems surprised to see me, smiling, widely. “Beau.”

  “Here, let me help you with that extra bag.”

  She passes it to me quietly, a small smile hinting around the corners of her mouth. “This is Mr. Williamson. We met on the plane.”

  I dip my head. “Nice to meet you, sir.”

  He glances between us. “This your boyfriend?”

  I answer for her, bending down to kiss her cheek before I offer him my hand. “Yes, sir. Beau Hamilton.”

  He lifts one hand from his walker to shake mine. “You have a very sweet girlfriend, Beau.”

  I nod, my eyes on Bethany as I reach for her hand. There’s still plenty for us to discuss, but this is the first time I have acknowledged myself publicly as her boyfriend. She doesn’t correct me. I don’t know if that’s for my benefit or for Mr. Williamson’s, but we’ll have about an hour alone together in my truck for me to find out.

  When we reach the carousel, a relative of Mr. Williamson meets him and I pass over his rolling bag. He shakes my hand a second time telling me to take care of Bethany. She smiles widely and gives him a hug before he leaves. I reclaim her hand as we stand together waiting for her suitcase.

  We walk in a comfortable silence back to my truck once we’ve retrieved it. It’s once I’ve loaded it into the back and we’re both seated that I break the silence.

  “I’m sorry I’ve been acting like an ass.”

  “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about my engagement,” she replies, lifting my hand into hers.

  “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. I don’t want you to feel pressured.”

  She sighs, turning her head to look out the front windshield. “It’s hard to talk about, and that’s why I haven’t brought it up before. I told Bess while we were waiting for you to wake up at the hospital. What happened with you reminded me of what happened with Kurt. He wasn’t bitten by a snake though. He had been in a car accident. Waiting for you to wake up brought me right back to when I waited for him to wake up; only in his case, he didn’t.”

  “I’m so sorry.”

  “Life goes on. His death inspired me to make so many changes in my life. A part of me will always mourn the life we never had, but I’m also grateful that I still have the opportunity to live mine. I don’t know if I ever would have been brave enough to leave my job and move out here. If I hadn’t have done that, I never would have met you, Beau.”

  “You are so brave.”

  “I’m just trying to live my live without regrets. I don’t want to look back and wish I would have done something but was too scared to.”

  “That’s sorta how I feel right now. I’ve been scared since the bite that now you don’t think I’m man enough for you. Then, after finding out you were engaged, I let that push me even further away. I was scared there was something wrong with me and that’s why you hadn’t told me. I’m realizing now what an idiot I was.”

  She squeezes my hand. “We’re human, Beau. We’re all going to make mistakes. I only ask that you talk to me first next time and I’ll do the same.”

  I lift her knuckles to my lips. “Deal.”

  “I noticed you didn’t correct Mr. Williamson about being my boyfriend.”

  I nod, my eyes flicking from the road to hers. “I’d like to be. My stupid streak seems to be over for the time being and I’d like to take advantage of it and make you my girlfriend. Also, I want you to know I love you.”

  I’ve known I was in love with Bethany for a while; I was not planning to just spit it out like that though. Terrified, I wait for her reaction, hoping she feels the same way.

  She leans across the seat and kisses my cheek. “I love you, too.”

  Without the tension that’s been holding me down, I feel lighter than I have in days. We laugh and joke the whole ride back to her house. The moment I kill the engine though, the mood shifts from lighthearted to something more intense.

  “I’ve missed you.” The husky tone of her voice lets me know just how much.

  “We’ve got some catching up to do.”

  She makes it to her front door before me, but squeals when I swoop her up into my arms. “Your foot?”

  I shake my head. “Don’t you worry about a thing.”

  Concentrating on lifting my leg high enough takes most of my attention as I carry her up the stairs to her bedroom. The way she nips at and kisses my neck on the way has me wondering if she’d be cool with me taking her right on her stairs. I’d do it too if spreading her out across her bed was a temptation I could pass.

  It has been too long since I was inside her and a quickie on the stairs is not what I have in mind. Patience is a virtue, right? Sure the Good Lord probably meant waiting till marriage, not waiting till you reached her bedroom though.

/>   I’m no philosopher and am more interested in the willing woman I am quickly falling in love with than anything else. Gently setting her on her bed, I kneel before her, slipping her dainty silver sandals from her feet. Using my hands and my mouth, I drown myself in the pleasure that is the silken softness of her skin. Sliding her dress up as I go, from ankle to thigh, I leave no inch unloved.

  Save a pair of lace panties, she’s bare to me from the waist down. She’s restlessly waiting for my next move. Her body arches for my touch while I sit back and admire her. Over waiting, she stands, one foot on either side of me and pulls her dress off over her head. Her panties taunt me, shielding me from her. I drag them off as she lifts one leg, then the other for me to rid her of them fully.

  She sinks into my lap, kissing me as she unbuttons my shirt. Once it’s off, she pushes me back onto the floor before moving to remove my shoes and jeans. Before long I’m naked beneath her. All I want is to taste her and start to move her until she hovers over me. I start to kiss her thighs when she turns around and takes my cock into her hand and then her mouth.

  Groaning at the sensation, I attack her with my tongue. She wiggles against my face and I wrap my arms around her thighs so she can’t move. My hips lift as I rock into and out of her mouth, her fingers pumping me. I release one of her legs to ease my finger inside of her. The sensation is too much for her; she lifts her head from my cock and groans loudly as she comes. I lap at her clit until her body stops shuddering. Once it has, I lift her, shifting her in my arms so I can capture her lips with mine.

  “You are so beautiful.”

  She blushes at my words and I stand, Bethany in my arms, to lay her across her bed. She’s almost limp, sated as she lazily grins up at me. I quickly sheath myself before spreading her legs and driving myself into her. My eyes roll back at the feel of her. Her body seems made for mine, fitting me like a glove. She alone seems able to lift me to the highest levels of pleasure.

  I’ve missed not only her, but also the physical connection we’ve shared. She is the first woman I’ve craved body and soul. I want it all, her laughter, her tears, her smiles, and her ecstasy. I will be the man deserving of the gift that is her company. Taking her lips once more, I groan as I find my release. I shift onto my side, pulling her with me, tightly in my arms.