Three Dates (Paths To Love Book 2)

by Grahame Claire

  “Did you see that shark?” Muriella said, grinning as she lifted the mask off of her face.

  “I saw it, and I’m ready to head back to the boat.”

  “It was only two feet long.” She splashed me as I turned on my back to float.

  “Those teeth looked plenty sharp.” I could handle that little one if need be; it was the bigger ones that might also be around that had me concerned.

  “The reef is amazing,” she said as she peered back down into the water. Watching her enjoy our surroundings brought me an intense pleasure. I wanted her to stay like this. Not so burdened. Having a good time…with me.

  “I’m sorry we can’t stay longer.”

  “It’s my year to pick the Fourth of July vacation. I choose here.” Her features clouded. “Are you skipping out again this year?”

  The sting in her tone took me by surprise, but also made my chest expand. “I didn’t think you’d noticed I wasn’t there.” What I didn’t say was that I’d stopped going the last few years because of her. It had gotten harder and harder to be near her without being able to pursue my feelings.

  A ‘hmph’ noise escaped her, and I hid a smile. “It’s getting dark.”

  We swam back to the boat. Once on the deck, I wrapped her in an oversized towel without thinking. She went rigid, and I dropped my hands.

  Whoever had hurt her deserved a lifetime of pain. They’d robbed her of love, a love different than the kind she had with Vivian and Daniel.

  “It’s not just you that I don’t want to touch me.” I stilled. “It’s all men.”

  “You allow Daniel to.” A warped jealousy twisted through me. Their relationship was of the sibling nature, but the fact that he could hug her and I couldn’t tinted my world green.

  “It took a long time.” She hugged the towel to her chest. “I initially only did it because he needed affection.”

  “And I don’t?” I looked away. “I’m sorry. That was uncalled for.”

  “I know you do. In ways I just can’t give.” Her voice pleaded with me to understand.

  “You held my hand earlier,” I pointed out. When she’d offered me that comfort, it made me forget about the ranch for a minute. Until that moment, I hadn’t realized just how much I wanted her touch.

  “That was my choice.”

  I recoiled. When I’d put the towel around her, my intent had been to care for her, not to take that choice away.

  “I—That’s not what I meant…”

  Her shoulders dropped. “I know.”

  “We’ll take this at your pace, but you proved today you’re capable of more than you give yourself credit for. Maybe that was just the beginning.”

  “Stone, I’m not capable of intimacy.” Her cheeks turned pink, but she held my gaze as she spoke.

  “Intimacy comes in a lot of different forms. Not just the physical ones.”

  Sadness shadowed her beautiful features. “It wouldn’t be enough.”

  “Don’t be so sure. I haven’t been with a woman since I met you.”

  Shock turned to incredulousness. “What?! Why? You’re the sexiest man alive.”

  I grinned. “Why thank you, darlin’. That means more coming from you than from People.”

  She pursed her lips. “I was quoting the magazine.”

  I slung my towel over my shoulders. “Don’t get me wrong. I’ve been around plenty of women I was attracted to. I’m a guy. We think about sex. But the biggest turn on for me is being with someone I care about.”

  “I don’t understand.” She fumbled behind her, finding the wall that separated the swim platform and the deck. She sagged against it.

  “I’ve only been with three women. There wasn’t a single one I didn’t think there was at least the possibility of a future with.” I leaned back against the railing. “I’m like an old loyal dog. I don’t like change. I have no interest in leaving behind a string of women or being a conquest. I just want my person and that’s that.”

  “That doesn’t explain why you haven’t been with anyone in six years.”

  “Yeah, it does.” I looked her right in the eye with all my vulnerability hanging out for her to see. So much for not pushing her. But thinking about a life with anyone but her was impossible.

  A lock of hair came loose from her ponytail when she shook her head. “I’m not your person.”

  “You are. I feel it in here.” I pointed to my chest.

  “No. You deserve a whole person.” Her voice was a plea for me to understand. She didn’t get that I saw her, who she really was.

  “I’m looking at one.”

  She slid down the wall, looking totally hopeless. “No.”

  It was heartbreaking to see her like this. In time, I’d help her see herself the way I did. Pure beauty inside and out. Not perfect, but beautiful. “That mirror you’re looking in is warped. Let me show you one that reflects the truth.”

  “Your version. Not mine.”

  I put my foot on the rail behind me. “They could become the same.”

  Chapter Eighteen

  Muriella

  His words replayed in my mind as I showered. While I dressed for dinner. When I poured a glass of wine.

  He made it sound so easy, as if just changing my way of thinking would make things different. But he didn’t know just how broken I was. And he never would. Telling Vivian and Daniel had been difficult enough. A part of me still felt guilty for contaminating them with my garbage. I refused to do that to Stone. I was afraid if we took things to a more physical level, I would react as I did in my nightmares, the ones that left me disoriented, screaming in panic and terror, unsure where I was or what was real.

  I took a deep, cleansing breath to steady myself, and sipped the cool pinot grigio as I wandered out to the aft deck. Stars glittered in the dark sky, the moon a round beacon creating a river of light on the water.

  I followed the scent of a hot grill until I found Stone, tongs in hand.

  “You know how to use those?”

  He twirled them around and pretended to holster them. “Like a champ.”

  I settled into a chair close to the grill and set my glass next to his beer on an end table. A country song drifted across the deck about a guy who could die a happy man. Once again, Stone’s choice in music didn’t seem to be an accident.

  “I’ve been thinking about Texas,” I said.

  He paused while turning a steak. “What about it?”

  Then he closed the lid on the grill and took the chair next to mine.

  “I’ll go with you tomorrow.”

  He flipped his ball cap around backward and leaned toward me as if he hadn’t heard right.

  “What about Thanksgiving with Vivian and Daniel?”

  That was the difficult part. I wanted to be with my family, but I needed to find my identity.

  “I—I hope they’ll understand.” They’d be hurt, which didn’t settle well. “Besides, it makes more sense for us to travel back to the States together rather than trying to figure out how to get me back to New Zealand while you go on to Texas.”

  “Mama will be thrilled.” Judging from his expression, she wouldn’t be the only one.

  “I’ll only stay as long as you do,” I warned. I prayed by then I’d have the clarity I sought. If one holiday away from Daniel and Vivian would help us return to normal, it was worth the sacrifice.

  “She’ll still be tickled.” He stretched out his long legs and crossed his ankles. His mouth turned down. “Sometimes it’s worse going for a quick trip. It’s just enough to remind me of what I’m missing.”

  “Why don’t you quit acting? You’re not happy.”

  “I’m not unhappy.” He slugged back his beer. “It’s beginning to look like I did it all for nothing anyway.”

  “You don’t know that.”

  “Little people don’t win in this stuff.”

  “You’re not exactly ‘little people’ anymore, you know. Are you just going to roll over?” The defeat in his t
one was one I wasn’t used to hearing from him.

  “I didn’t say that.” He stared up at the sky. “I’m just having a pity party. Seems like not much is going in my favor these days.”

  Admittedly, the situation with the ranch seemed dire. It was only fair he be allowed a good sulk. There were lots of things he wanted that I couldn’t give. But I could lend him my strength and support him in this time of trouble. “You’re getting it out now. Before you get home.”

  He rolled his head to the side, the stress lines around his eyes slackening. “I picked a pretty good spot for lunch, but I haven’t been very good company.”

  “Just lunch with a friend, right? That’s where the real stuff happens.” Spending time with him had eased my frustration from the past week. So much so that I’d relaxed without meaning to. It had been hours since I’d felt the cool metal of the gun barrel against my temple as if the other night were happening all over again.

  For a time while we were snorkeling, I’d forgotten to be nervous about being alone with a man and simply enjoyed being with him. I didn’t think about my past or why it stood between us as an insurmountable barrier. For one day, Stone had given me the normalcy I usually only had around Daniel and Vivian. Yet if I paused to consider it, he always had. It was buried beneath the contradiction of the desires he inspired.

  A few weeks before, the very idea of a date with anyone had been an impossibility. The fact I’d been on two with the only man who ever made me long for the future I’d dreamed of proved I was capable of more than I’d given myself credit for. The truth was I didn’t want to live in a protective shell anymore, but I was terrified to come all the way out. Stone wanted more from me than I could give, but maybe what I could give was a deeper friendship by letting him in a little closer.

  “Will you ever tell me what happened to you?”

  I gripped the armrests of the chair and looked toward the heavens. Is this a test? God seemed to be giving me a nudge to open up. “I’m not afraid to tell you, Stone. I refuse to do it.”

  “Because you don’t trust me like you do Vivian and Daniel.” His shoulders dropped.

  “Because I don’t want to taint your light. I told you before, nothing will change what happened. I don’t want that ugliness in your mind.” I held the armrests as if they were the only thing anchoring me to this earth. The very thought of him knowing the details was beyond abhorrent.

  He studied me a moment. “You’re protecting me.”

  My shoulders dropped. “I guess I am.”

  “Why not them?” The question was one of curiosity, a man attempting to work out reasoning, not jealousy.

  “I don’t know why I feel differently about it with you, but I do.” I picked up my wine glass, yet I only held it.

  “My mind runs wild with possibilities. I lay awake for hours sometimes wishing I could take it all away.”

  I swallowed around the thickness in my throat. “It will never go away.”

  I may have escaped hell, but I was still a prisoner. Everything had been under control before Stone started to push. What would happen if I let him in?

  Chapter Nineteen

  Stone

  Fascinating that simple, everyday things for most people were monumental for others. Sometimes we only saw the end result, not the effort it took to get there. When Muriella put her hand in mine, it took all I had not to shout in victory.

  She was the damn bravest person I’d ever met. I didn’t even fully understand what that one act meant for her. But I felt it.

  We’d taken a step in the right direction, then had a setback when I’d put that towel around her. This push and pull was a delicate balance. I didn’t expect it to be easy, but so much was at stake. One wrong move, and we could lose what we were building toward. More than anything, she’d intensified my determination to keep at it until we were together. Somehow, some way, we would be.

  “You ever slept out under the stars?” I gazed up at the sky.

  A soft smile teased her lips. “When I was a little girl, Mama would lay a huge blanket out in the grass behind our house. She’d sleep between me and my brother.”

  “Is he older or younger?”

  “Four years older.” A wistfulness tipped one corner of her mouth up.

  “Do you know where he is?” As soon as I said it, I knew it was the wrong thing.

  Her face fell. “I have no idea if he’s even alive.” She looked to the sky. “I pray every single day he escaped that life, but I’m scared he’d have to be up there with Mama for that to be true.” She tucked a leg up under her.

  “Do you ever think of trying to contact him?”

  She whipped her head toward me. “I don’t want to die.”

  “Did he hurt you?” I grated out, near ready to bolt from my seat and find him.

  “Whether he meant to or not, he sent me to my freedom.” She chewed on her lip. “I think he wanted to help me, but I don’t know. My father’s venom is poisonous. Once it’s inside you, it doesn’t go away.”

  She’d never spoken much of her family, but the picture was getting clearer. She loved her mother, hated her father, and seemed somewhere in between when it came to her brother.

  “Your mother—”

  “Was an angel. When she died, she took a piece of all of us with her. What was left was ugly.”

  It slayed me she’d lost someone so important. “What happened to her?”

  “He killed her. That’s all that’s important.”

  “Your father murdered her?” Damn. Had she seen it? How old was she? I knew Daniel found her when she was fourteen, so she must have been young.

  “Not with his own hands.” Her voice was flat, as if she were detached from the situation even though she wasn’t.

  “Did you—”

  “See it?” she finished. “Only when they kidnapped her.”

  “Who?”

  “My father’s rivals.”

  I pressed my fingers against my temple. Our family’s adversaries wanted our land, but I was damn sure they’d never hurt a woman. “What kind of business is he in?”

  “He’s a king,” she spat.

  “You’re royalty?” My head spun. I knew Muriella with every fiber of my being, but I was quickly discovering just how few facts I knew about her.

  “Does a cartel princess count?” She flashed me a bitter smile. “Not exactly the kind of girl you want to take home to your mother.”

  “You’re gonna meet mine.” Wouldn’t take her long to figure out I’d never be ashamed of her. I’d see to that.

  She looked away. “I shouldn’t drag anyone else into my mess. If he finds out your family is associated with me, he’ll go after them to get to me.”

  I tensed to the point my muscles hurt. It would be a cold day in hell before I let that happen.

  “Is your father still looking for you?” The need to go after him, solve her problem permanently, sprouted and grew.

  “He shouldn’t be. He believes I’m dead. But it only takes one slip-up.”

  “Why does he think that?”

  Her face was a smooth mask of blank expression. “Because after he found me, Daniel set it up to appear I’d drowned.”

  Who the hell was this guy that they’d had to go to such great lengths to protect her? “Muriella, who is your father?”

  “Juan Carlos Calderón.”

  Holy shit. I knew all about him. The man was notorious for his brutality. How could he have had a daughter as kind as she was? No wonder she went to so much trouble to stay hidden. It had never occurred to me Muriella Morales wasn’t her real name. “You’re Camila.” She just looked back at me without responding.

  There was no end to what she might have seen in her life. Rage and regret for what she’d been through turned me inside out. Her father once killed one of his men and used his body parts to spell out the word traitor in the center of a Nicaraguan town. Legend had it that grown men pissed themselves when they faced him, and undoubtedly for good reason.
Calderón killed at will, whether justified or not, his mood the determining factor.

  “What they did to your mother—” I swallowed hard. “I’m sorry.”

  “You don’t know anything about it.”

  “Actually, I do.” I roughed a hand through my hair. “A few years ago, I was offered the lead in a biographical film about him.”

  “They’re making a movie about that monster?” She covered her mouth. “And you’re going to play him?”

  Imagine the irony in that.

  “I turned it down before I read the script.” Thank God I’d gone with my gut. Everyone had tried to tell me the role would earn me another Oscar and take my career to stratospheric levels. None of them understood those things didn’t matter to me. Now I knew for certain why I’d been so averse to the film. My connection to Muriella had stopped me, even when I had no idea how it concerned her.

  “You’re not doing it?”

  “No, I’m not, and as far as I know, the movie never got greenlit.”

  She sagged into her chair with relief. “If you didn’t read the script, how do you know about Mama?”

  “I carried it with me for a while. Had some down time one day, and it was like I couldn’t not read it.”

  “What did it say about her?” she whispered, almost as if she was afraid to hear it.

  I swallowed hard as I recalled the brutality. “That she was dismembered by a rival of your father.”

  She made a choking noise. “He kept her captive for four weeks. Beat her. Raped her. Starved her.”

  Acid burned as it shot up my esophagus. “I didn’t know that.”

  “He sent her back to us in a box. There were pictures—” She squeezed her eyes shut and looked away.

  I balled my hand so tight my fingernails dug into my flesh. “You saw them?”

  She nodded and straightened. “My father avenged her death. But it didn’t bring her back.” Muriella drew in a long breath. “I think I’d like to sleep under the stars again, like I did with Mama when we were happy.”