Blocked

by Lisa N. Paul

  “Look at me, April,” he growled, nostrils flaring as he took measured breaths. “I’m not kidding. You take a long, hard look and tell me if you see—hell, if you’ve ever seen—pity in my eyes.”

  The interior light of the car illuminated him, showing fierce emotions as they played across the lines of his face. While she was used to seeing sentiment in his chocolate gaze, he was correct—pity had never entered it. She’d never attached names to what she saw and felt coming from him each time he looked at her, touched her, and smiled at her. In that moment, words continued to fail her completely.

  Without thought, she ran her hand over the coarse planes of his cheek. “I see something. I…”

  He placed his one large hand on the dashboard and the other on the headrest behind her and leaned forward, bringing their faces just inches apart. “Yeah, you do. You want to know what you see?”

  She just nodded quickly.

  “You see sadness, because the woman I love is hurting, and it’s fucking killing me.”

  She swallowed. He loved her?

  “I needed to ask you those questions earlier, April, because I’m in this”—he gestured between the two of them—“eyes open, parachute off, no safety net. And I wanna make sure I’m not jumping alone.”

  I’m in this. His words floated in the air as her world stopped spinning. She wanted to reach out, pluck each one, and place them safely in a box where she could cherish them forever. Keep them guarded where no one, not even he, could take them away. Then, as if someone pushed “play,” all that he said sunk in.

  “You love me?” she croaked as the blood whooshed through her ears.

  “Actually, no, I misspoke.” Decker’s calloused fingers grazed April’s chin as he tilted her head back and looked into her eyes. “I’m in love with you, April. I have been for a while. I don’t need to claim your body for you to have claimed my heart. It’s been yours since the beginning.”

  “Deck, I…” She stopped herself, swallowing a bitter pill of truth that she refused to give voice to. “I can’t…” Her feelings ran miles deep, but she had to keep them protected, even just a little longer—not just for her but for Elijah. If she didn’t let Decker fully into her heart, maybe she’d survive if he left.

  “April,” Decker spoke, anguish suddenly replaced by assurance before he kissed her gently on the lips. “I love you, and whether or not you’re ready to admit it to yourself, I know you feel the same way about me. I can see it in your eyes, feel it in your touch, and taste it in your kiss. You show me your love in ways you can’t even begin to know but ways that mean the world to me.” Decker ran his hand through his messy hair. “Earlier, at the restaurant, when everything went down with Ben, I was proud to be by your side. You were amazing and strong, everything you always are… but the things you said afterward, the blame you shouldered…” He scrubbed his hands over his face and turned away from her.

  Understanding crashed over her like waves. Slipping down from the SUV, she grabbed his thick arm and urged him to face her, allowing the light from the car to shine on her face. “I understand, Deck. I get why your mind went there, and I’m sorry.” When his shoulders sagged, she found relief as well. “I got… I don’t know, angry or sad when I saw the life he was making with someone else, a life he claimed he never wanted with me.” The memory of Ben smiling as he stroked his unborn child sent a shiver through April. “The thought of him excited for a baby when he threw ours away made me sick, Deck. Can you understand that? Everything about them was the opposite of how he’d been with me. So while I don’t and I wouldn’t ever want him back, it just stung knowing that he’d found happily ever after even though he was a villain of the worst kind.”

  Decker sighed, pulling her tightly into his chest. His familiar scent embraced her just as lovingly as his arms. “Sweetheart, I know what you think you saw tonight, but trust me, I was a man living in a marriage of lies. What you think was between them and what was actually going on”—he tsked—“it was two different things, babe.”

  She smiled to herself as she tightened her grip around him. He was trying to be kind, inserting his own messed up former marriage in place of what she’d seen with her own eyes. She also knew she’d given her ex-husband too much head space on a night when the only man she wanted was standing right before her. While she wasn’t ready to return Decker’s words of love, she was ready to show him exactly how she felt. “Hey, big guy, I’m feeling kinda done with the whole topic. We’ve wasted enough time.”

  * * *

  DECKER HELD HER hand as she opened the front door and entered her house. August promptly ended a phone call, grabbed his keys from the coffee table, and stood up from the couch. April looked pleased at the full report August gave of the evening: what he and Eli had done, eaten for dinner, and what time he’d gone to bed. As a fellow parent, Decker knew exactly how much better he felt when he knew his daughter did well with the sitter, no matter who it was.

  When August asked how their night had gone, Decker stayed quiet as April described their run-in with Ben and Becky. August’s face grew fierce as he listened to each detail, but instead of questioning his sister’s responses, he kept his jaw locked and his arms crossed.

  “I’m just gonna run up real quick and check on Eli,” April announced. “I’ll be right down.”

  The moment she was out of earshot, August gritted out, “Is she okay? That motherfucker did a number on her.”

  “She was great with him, Aug, but after we left the restaurant, she kind of lost it.” Decker squirmed. “And I may have asked her if she still had feelings for him.”

  August shook his head. “I’m sure she took that well.” Sarcasm was evident in both his voice and his expression. “No, seriously, man, I can understand why you’d wonder, especially if she reacted the way you say she did. But I can tell you, that piece of shit disgusts her. Knowing my sister, the whole scene probably wounded her pride more than her heart.”

  Why hadn’t he thought of that himself? Because you were too busy looking out for your own heart, you moron.

  As if seeing his internal struggle, August clapped him on the arm. “Don’t let Ben Spears take up any more time between you and my sister. You’re a good guy, Decker, and you make her happier than I’ve ever seen her. But being left by the first man she ever loved, well, that changed her. So when she tries to run, and knowing my baby sis, she will try”—August leveled a sympathetic stare on Decker—“give her space, but don’t give up on her, okay?”

  “I’m not leaving her, Aug.”

  “Is August being the protective older brother again?” April bounced down the stairs.

  Gone was her sexy black top and tight-fitting pants, and in their place was an old Bon Jovi concert tank top and sweat shorts, yet still his mouth watered at the sight of her.

  “Umm…” A familiar blush kissed her cheeks as she looked from him to her brother and back. “I just figured I’d get ready for bed while I was up there.” As soon as the words left her mouth, her cheeks turned a deeper shade of crimson. “Not that he’s staying for bed,” she denied adamantly to her brother.

  “Chill, Tiny.” August laughed. “I hope he does stay for bed. Just remember, if he’s not gonna cover his head”—he glared between the two of them—“make sure she’s covered instead.”

  “Oh. My. God!” April gasped. “You didn’t just say that.” She swatted at her brother. “You’re just as bad as Mom!”

  Decker chuckled as he watched them banter back and forth before hugging goodnight.

  “I like him,” Decker confirmed as he stood behind April while she locked the front door. He swept her long blond hair over to one shoulder and pressed feather-light kisses over the other. “But I like you more.” He nibbled the sensitive flesh between her shoulder and her neck, a spot that had proven to heat her up on more than one occasion.

  “Mmm, that feels so good.”

  “So, beautiful, I know tonight didn’t go the way we planned.” He moved his hand
to her front, sliding one finger slightly under the hem of her tank top, just enough to graze the soft skin of her taut belly. “But am I really not invited to stay for bed?” An accomplished smile graced his face as her breath halted in her chest. The smile turned hungry when she turned to face him with pure desire burning in her eyes.

  “Decker…” She swallowed. “I want you, I want you so badly. I’ve been fantasizing about it for months, touching myself to the sound of your voice and to the image of your face.” She pressed her cool hand to her stained cheeks, no doubt trying to rid some of the color. “No pressure, big guy, but I can’t imagine how incredible sex with you is gonna be. But I believe the invitation was for a baseball game. No?” Her wink had them both laughing quietly, so as to not awaken the sleeping child in the room at the top of the stairs.

  His dick jumped in his pants at the mere thought of sliding into her tight body. As he glided the tip of his tongue up the column of her neck, shivers wracked her body and goose bumps covered her flesh the moment his teeth grazed her ear.

  “There will be no sex tonight, beautiful.” Placing his index finger over her mouth to stop the protest, he continued. “No, baby, sex is for clumsy teenagers and those looking for a quick release.” He walked her backward until she was pressed against the wall, trapping her with his body, his hardness pressing against the soft curves of her abdomen. “That’s not us, not now, not ever. First, I’m going to lay you down, strip away your clothes, and taste, touch, and cherish every inch of your sexy body while I slowly make love to you.” The feel of her breasts pressed firmly against his chest as her heart pounded had him aching with pent-up need. “Then only after we’ve both found a small slice of ecstasy”—he dropped his hand to the frayed edge of her shorts and slowly lifted the fabric as his fingers inched up her inner thigh and moved aside her damp lace panties—“I intend to ravish you like the starved man I’ve become. Goddamn, April, the pleasure of having your sweetness convulse around me while my name tears from your throat, that’s been my fantasy.”

  “Yes.”

  “Yes what, April?” His fingertips traced the skin at the scoop-neckline of her tank.

  She licked her lips and pressed them together. “Yes, I want to be your fantasy.”

  Desire and heat flushed through him as April stood there, glassy-eyed and wanton. They’d waited so long for this moment, had so many almost and close calls, he practically felt like a teenage boy just before his first time. The difference was he was an experienced man who knew exactly what he was doing, and there was no way she’d have the what-the-fuck-was-that look on her face when they were done.

  “Does E really sleep deep?” He’d really grown to adore the little guy over the past month or so. He didn’t want the poor kid to walk in on anything… life-scarring, nor did he desire another interruption. They seemed to be perpetually blocked when it came to carnal matters.

  “That little boy sleeps like the dead,” April said, running her hands from his broad shoulders down to his rippled abs. “So will you be coming upstairs? Or will it be another entertaining round of phone play for us tonight?”

  Decker covered her hand in his and slid it from his torso to his arousal. “I’ll be coming upstairs… a couple of times, I hope.” He winked. “Now lead the way, beautiful.”

  A bright smile flashed in his direction before April turned and led him up the steps. The firm globes of her ass peeked out of her sweat shorts, teasing him, taunting him, arousing him further.

  “Nice view, babe,” he whispered in the hallway, careful not to speak too loudly.

  She looked over her shoulder with a grin as she crossed the threshold to her bedroom. “So glad you like what you see.”

  The door was barely closed before his hands molded against her supple ass. “They say seeing is believing. I say, ya gotta touch it to trust it.”

  The way she laughed at his ridiculous joke just before her eyes widened and filled with heat made his body burn with need, but her verbal response had his heart thrumming with tenderness. “Then touch away, Decker. Touch away.”

  * * *

  “DON’T EVEN THINK about moving,” Decker uttered, his voice gravelly from exhaustion, as he gripped April’s naked body to keep her in place astride him.

  The feel of his calloused hands gliding on her bare skin made every part of her tingle with arousal. They always had. Although nothing could compare to the explosion the man caused when he finally slid into her body. Christ, there weren’t words to describe that kind of pandemonium. As she lay on top of all his masculine beauty, both of them sweaty and breathing each other’s air, she couldn’t stop herself from leaning down and swirling her tongue over his flat brown nipple.

  “Mmm, babe,” he groaned as she felt him harden between her thighs once again.

  “Impressive,” she muttered. She reached between them and swiped the bead of moisture, breaching the head of his shaft. The way his nostrils flared and his eyes bore into her when she lifted her thumb to her lips to lick off his juices made her feel like a goddess. “You taste so good, Deck. I can’t wait to get you back in my mouth, but”—she grinded herself on his erection—“right now, I just need you inside me again.”

  “Fuck,” Decker growled as he looped his arms around her waist and flattened her to the mattress. “You have no fucking clue what you do to me, April.” He stared into her eyes. “No clue.”

  Stroking his hardness, April quipped, “I may have some idea.”

  Decker shook his head, grabbed both of her wrists in one of his large hands, and held them still above her head. “Now, my stunning sassy woman, I’m going to rock your world.”

  Believing he’d already accomplished that mission, April couldn’t wait to see what he still had to offer. So quickly he’d mastered her body, the places that made her squirm and those that made her melt. She’d nearly cried when he found that place inside of her, the special spot she’d read about in romance novels and magazines but never experienced for herself. With his teeth grazing her hardened nipple and his fingers and thumb bringing her indescribable pleasure, April found herself awash in a searing climax that claimed every part of her soul.

  “Goddamn.” She may have heard wonder in his voice, but her head still spun in orgasmic bliss. “I need you, April.”

  “Take me, Deck.”

  As his hardness pushed into her heat, a muffled trill sounded in the room.

  “What the…?”

  She felt Decker tense, his body still embedded in her own. The trill sounded again.

  “That’s my phone.” Coldness blanketed her hot skin as Decker disengaged and sprang from the bed, reaching into the pocket of his discarded pants.

  The red digital numbers on April’s clock by the bed told her it was after eleven. Her stomach twisted. No calls at that time were good news.

  “Griff, slow down,” Decker huffed into the phone, the color slowly draining from his face as he listened to the person on the other end of the line.

  “Is it Charlie?” April whispered across the bed, the sheets the only barrier between her nails and the palms of her hands. Nearly tangible relief flooded her system when he shook his head, indicating his little girl was fine.

  Decker yanked on his clothing with the phone pressed to his ear. “Motherfucker,” he spat into the line. “So where are they?” He listened for a moment before speaking again. “Okay, okay… I’m heading over there now.” He listened for a beat while he tucked his feet in his shoes. “No, I’ll call him. Thanks, Griff. I’ll talk to you in a few.” He disconnected the call and headed for the bedroom door.

  “Decker?” April called out. Obviously something horrible had happened—she wasn’t an idiot—but was he just going to leave without telling her anything? Was it is Robyn? Ford?

  “April,” he snapped, “I’ve gotta go. Now. Sorry.” His face was stone, his posture rigid. Nowhere was the man who’d taken her body and claimed her soul.

  She followed him down the stairs to the door, wrapped
in nothing but a sheet. “Is there anything I can do?”

  “No.” Though he was still in her home, he was already miles away. “I’ll talk to you soon.”

  April saw him bring his cell up to his ear as he pulled her front door closed behind him.

  * * *

  DECKER PEELED OUT of April’s driveway and headed to his job site. “Goddamn it, Ford. I told you those bastards were trouble.”

  “I know you did, Deck. I’m sorry, I should have called Randall on his cell phone personally instead of leaving the message with that twit of a secretary. Goddamn it!” The strain in his brother’s voice echoed through the speakers in Decker’s Range Rover.

  “Well, Marvin Randall is a clueless asshole, and we could be looking at a very large lawsuit. Fuck!” Decker slammed his hand on the steering wheel.

  “I’ll call our lawyers, and I’ll meet you and the police at the site. You said Griff is already there, right?”

  “Yes, Ford. Listen when I talk, man. Dave Griffin is the police chief who’s on duty tonight. He’s the one who called to tell me those punks cut through our gates, broke the windows, and tried to do some construction of their own.” Decker used one hand to rub the cramp that was forming in the back of his neck. “Fucking morons trespassed on our property, screwed with our materials, and when the scaffolding fell on them… we’re screwed. Un-fucking-believable.” Anger ebbed through his body as he recalled the endless weeks of frustration the two men had caused.

  “Deck,” Ford’s voice went from apologetic to authoritative, finally gaining his brother’s attention. “Decker, calm down and drive carefully… please.”

  The call disconnected, leaving Decker alone in his car to process the shit storm that was about to hit BC.