“I’ll be right back,” she said to Flannery. Poor girl hardly noticed the fact she was leaving. She’d tried to discreetly wipe her tears away after Charlie had mentioned Rem. She was in love with the man and he was in love with her, but heaven help them until they admitted it to each other. Charlie had never seen two more miserable people, and she’d seen plenty of misery in her life.
She made her way toward Paul, who was sweating under the hood of his raincoat.
“Hey, Charlie. Ready to move to Florida?”
“Never.” She tried to smile. “But I need to talk to you.”
“Shoot.” He passed a bag to Andy. “What’s up?”
“I― I need to talk to you alone.” She hated saying it out loud. Andy glanced her way and then pretended not to have heard.
Paul frowned. “Sure.” He motioned her to walk with him and they stepped toward the river walk. The rain had not let up since she’d arrived outside By the Book and Charlie was starting to feel waterlogged.
“A year ago, I wrote a program to scan for mentions of UltimateStarCrossed. It was just a way to keep the anxiety at bay and it worked. There weren’t any mentions at all. I felt that my stalkers had really given up and gone away. Until two months ago.” She took a breath. “Then I started to get notifications. When I tried to see where they were coming from, I was always shut out. When I forced my way in, my program would get turned inside out and―” She broke off as Paul put a hand over his face and groaned. “I know I should have come to you sooner but I thought I could handle it on my own.”
“No, you were right. Listen, Charlie―”
“It’s two days to my wedding and there are ten mentions a day. I’m so scared.” She couldn’t keep the panic from her voice.
“Oh, man. I have really messed this up.” Paul sighed heavily.
“You… what?”
“It’s me, Charlie. I mean, it’s us. All of us.”
She stared at him, unable to connect his words to any reasonable explanation of why her former gaming name had been resurrected in chat rooms.
“We’ve been planning something really special for tonight and we wanted to surprise you. I never thought you’d have written a watchdog program for that name.” He shook his head. “I’m an idiot. Feel free to hit me for making you worry so much.”
For a moment, Charlie didn’t know what to say, and then she started to laugh. “I’ve stayed awake nights over this. I thought my wedding was gonna be ruined, you jerk.”
He didn’t take offense at her words, only grinned along with her. “That’s what I get for trying to be sneaky. We just needed a way to talk about which characters we―”
“No, don’t want to hear it.” Charlie held up a hand. “I want it to be a surprise, now that I know my wedding isn’t going to be crashed by circus elephants or dive bombed by flying squirrels.”
He cocked his head. “Flying squirrels are a fear of yours?”
“Only on my wedding day.”
He gave her a quick hug, and Charlie smiled against his wet raincoat. Everything was going to be okay. She wasn’t going to have to go into hiding and drag Austin away from his work.
Friends. You couldn’t live with them, and you couldn’t plan a simple country wedding without them turning it into a Mission Impossible assignment.
Chapter Thirteen
“I loved her against reason, against promise, against peace,
against hope, against happiness, against all discouragement that could be.”
― Charles Dickens
Andy wiped the rain from his face and tried to see the wall of sandbags. Only about a foot high and half the building long. They’d been working for hours. Paul was going to have to call in more help. He watched Paul and Charlie talking, hesitating to interrupt. Paul had been prickly lately, preoccupied. He was glad to see him laughing with Charlie for a moment.
He’d tried to talk to Paul about the rumors that were swirling the tech industry. It didn’t take much to know that Screenstop was in trouble. The company that Paul had founded, the gaming business they had both built from the ground up, was in danger. There wasn’t much they could do about it. When a bigger, more powerful group decided they wanted to swallow a competitor whole, they would find a way to do it.
The VanDoren corporation had approached them last year with double the worth of the company in cash. Paul and Andy had decided, together and without much discussion, not to entertain the possibility. Even if they’d felt like selling, the VanDoren corporation’s ethics violations and accusations of illegal activities left them feeling they’d rather fail completely than be part of their family of companies. Since Screenstop was healthy and growing rapidly, it wasn’t difficult at all to decide to refuse the offer.
At the time, Andy and Paul had thought they’d put the issue to bed. They couldn’t have been more wrong.
Andy swung a sandbag to Blue and looked across at Roxie. She was talking to Flannery, who looked a little miserable. Not surprising, after her awkward fall into the mud.
He watched Roxie reach out to Flannery and his chest ached a little. He loved her more than life. She was his rock, his wife, his friend. And although he’d been planning to tell her about the VanDoren rumors, Mark’s announcement and the flood had put everything else on the back burner. But he would have to tell her soon if the rumblings were true. They wouldn’t be poor. They’d been too rich to ever be really poor again, but losing his position as CFO felt like losing it all. He’d built that company up from a few dozen employees to one of the largest in the country. He’d put his hopes, dreams and passion into it. They’d created one of the few places where women were actively recruited for technology jobs and they were held up as an ideal business model for working families. Andy was proud of Screenstop. Proud of everything accomplished and how they’d made the world a better place while getting to the top. Money was secondary.
“I’m cold,” Mark said, appearing beside him. His brother shivering in his thick coat but his hat was drenched.
“Ready to go in and warm up, buddy?”
“Yeah. Warm up.” Mark started toward By the Book without waiting to see if Andy was following him.
He looked back to tell Fr. Tom he was leaving and saw Paul on his phone. Charlie had gone back to the volunteer line. Paul’s expression was a combination of shock and something Andy hadn’t seen for a long time― fear.
“I’ll be there in a minute,” he called to Mark and headed toward Paul. Just as he made it to his side, Paul said goodbye and stood there, rain dripping onto his face.
Andy waited to see if he would explain, but Paul looked out on the river, silent.
“We could use section sixteen of the Clayton Act to seek an injunction,” Andy said.
“I’ve already looked into that,” Paul said. “Their holdings are too diverse. It wouldn’t be considered a monopoly in any way.” He closed his eyes for a moment. “We could still file the injunction, but it won’t hold them off forever. The takeover will happen and we’ll be replaced.”
“You could decide to stay,” Andy said.
“Will you? I wouldn’t be offended if you did.”
Andy shook his head. “Naw. That’s not the way we roll.”
Paul made a noise in his throat that could have been a laugh. “We’ve never really been the type to take directions from someone who shouldn’t be the boss.”
Andy thought of how grounded Roxie was. Family was everything to her. Mark, her Mamere, this town. It was almost as if his company was an afterthought. Andy wasn’t offended by Roxie’s nonchalance. She respected his job and thought he was a lot smarter than he really was, but she just didn’t identify with it. And for that he was truly grateful. She wasn’t going to grieve when they were no longer part of the Screenstop family. It was going to be much harder on Andy to let go of Screenstop than it would be on Roxie or Mark.
“You think Alice will throw a party?” Andy asked.
Paul looked at him blankly for a moment then
started to laugh. “Probably. And then she’ll have the flagship store shuttered and torn down. She never thought it should have been built right in the middle of the Historic District. She only grudgingly accepted it because it was my building.” Paul was quiet for a moment. “She was right. I built that place because I was thumbing my nose at all the rich people who were mean to me as a kid. It’s way out of place. But she stopped fighting and tried to accept the ugly eyesore at the end of the block.”
“Because she loves you.” He was stating the obvious but it was one of the most charming things about Alice. She absolutely believed that the gaming company led people away from books and culture, and into a life of meaningless button-pushing. But she loved Paul with everything she had, and she tried hard to understand his view on technology making the world better. She didn’t quite believe it but she tried.
“That she does.” Paul watched the rain on the river for a moment. “I guess we’ll have to start something new, if you’re up for it.”
“You don’t want to just retire to some tropical island and live out the rest of your days sipping margaritas?”
“Do you?”
Andy grinned. “I’m not the tropical island type of guy.”
He waved at the mess of mud around them. “Clearly.”
Paul threw an arm around Andy’s shoulders and they walked back toward the truck.
“I was kind of hoping to get rid of you,” Paul said.
“Yeah, well, asking me to move our headquarters to your hometown, fixing me up with a local girl, and making me your daughter’s godfather wasn’t the way to go.”
They stopped at the truck and Paul let his arm drop. His face was covered with rain and small mud spatters. “We’re just gonna be regular guys again.”
“Yeah, it’ll be nice to get out and work with our hands again.” Andy almost managed to keep a straight face as he grabbed another rain-slicked sandbag and heaved it to the next volunteer. ((regular guys with highest tech gaming systems))
****
“Making a cake,” Aurora said and went to the play kitchen to find an apron.
Alice had popped upstairs to check on the babies and found Rose was holding a sleeping Emily Jane. Aurora and the fussy Elizabeth had come with her downstairs to visit with Henry.
“Why don’t you sit here,” Alice asked, motioning to the overstuffed recliner in the play area of By the Book. Henry was perched on the edge of a wooden chair, looking very uncomfortable.
“Oh, I guess so.” Henry moved to the overstuffed chair and slowly lowered herself into it, grimacing.
“Those last weeks are brutal,” Alice said. “Can I get you anything?”
“No, go ahead and nurse her.” Henry smiled at Elizabeth. “Does she ever sleep?”
“Sure. In forty-five minutes bursts.” Alice settled into the chair across from her and helped Elizabeth get settled. After a few moments she looked up, her heart lurching at the sight of tears on Henry’s face. Her beautiful green eyes were closed in pain and she was gasping softly.
“Is it time? Should I call Gideon?” Alice started to detach Elizabeth.
“No, it’s not that.” Henry continued to cry and Alice said nothing for several long minutes. “I’m just scared.”
“Oh, honey.” Alice reached out her free hand and took Henry’s. “Labor can be scary but if you’re worried about the pain, you don’t have to do it all naturally. It’s not a competition. Nobody will blame you if you get an epidural or some pain relief. And a natural birth doesn’t mean you get an ‘A’ grade and everybody else fails. Don’t be afraid you’re going to do it wrong.”
Henry shook her head and cried harder. “Not… that.”
Alice squeezed her fingers and waited.
“I don’t know how,” Henry managed to say.
“How to give birth?” Alice prompted gently.
“Be a mother.” Henry’s face crumped and she sobbed. “I’m going to fail. The baby is going to know I have no maternal instincts because I didn’t have a mother and I missed that part of my development and I’ll never be able to trust myself to do what’s best for the baby.”
Alice couldn’t help the tears that burned in her eyes. She knew what it was like to face down the ticking clock of a pregnancy and feel completely unprepared. She was a motherless daughter, too. She knew how it felt to grow up in a community where mother lore was everything, where the wisdom passed down from mother to daughter was treated more seriously than anything that could be found in a book.
“Who on earth have you been listening to? You’re going to be a great mom,” Alice said. “I have no doubt at all in my mind.”
Henry took a shuddering breath. “Gideon is counting on me to do this right, since he spent so much time in foster care and then prison. He thinks I know what I’m doing,” she started to cry again. “But I don’t.”
“Nobody does,” Alice said. Tears slipped down her cheeks but she also wanted to laugh a little. Only a first-time mom would think that you could ever really prepare for what lay ahead. Once the baby came, the parents realized that no amount of motherly advice, book reading or classes could really cover it all. It just had to be lived.
“Henry, I know what you’re feeling.” Alice reached for the box of tissues and handed it to Henry. “I felt exactly the same way. I think I relied way too much on Paul’s mom in those first few weeks. Not that she minded. She loved being there every minute. But I was terrified of being alone with Aurora. I was afraid she was going to die in her sleep and so I would hold her all night.”
Henry managed a smile. “That doesn’t sound fun.”
“It was awful. I only slept when Paul or his mom held Aurora. I was a basket case. She finally told me that Aurora didn’t need to be watched every moment. It was okay to take a nap while she slept.”
“I didn’t know you went through that.”
“Well, I wasn’t telling everyone, that was for sure.” Alice remembered Paul’s confusion when she decided Aurora was too warm, then too hot, then too warm. She’d change her mind ten times. Poor Aurora. Good thing she was a heavy sleeper. She’d gone through a dozen wardrobe changes a day.
“Gideon’s parents have been so great. His mom offered to come an stay for a while but I didn’t want to inconvenience them.”
Alice had seen how Henry’s mother didn’t make any effort to be involved in her life. Her aunt, the famous actress, was a little more visible, but she seemed too busy to be present for anything other than the celebrations. Her grandparents, Birdie and Frank Pascal, didn’t seem very happy about Henry’s choice of husband. They hadn’t even spoken to her at the last church festival.
“You should let her come stay. It’s their first grandchild. She’s probably trying not to overwhelm you with her enthusiasm.”
Henry smiled a little. “She’s been very careful. And I do want her to come. I like Sally. Vince, too. They’re both great.” She sighed. “I just feel like it’s going to be so obvious that I don’t know what I’m doing. She’s going to take one look at me and know I’m an unfit mother. I don’t want her to think her grandchild is being cared for by someone so clueless. It’s like I have an exam and I haven’t studied enough,” Henry said. She wiped her eyes and blew her nose.
“Welcome to parenthood,” Alice said.
“Will you help me? When the baby comes? Will you make sure I don’t do anything wrong?”
“Of course. Always.” Alice’s heart squeezed in her chest. “But I can’t promise you won’t do anything wrong. Everybody does. Taking care of a baby isn’t an exact science.” She saw Henry’s eyes fill with tears again and hurried on. “But I’ll be as overbearing as you want me to be and you can call me any time, day or night. You’re not alone. The baby isn’t going to arrive and we’re going to let you deal with everything by yourself. I’m sorry I didn’t make that clear.”
She nodded, letting out a long sigh. One hand rubbed her stomach as if she was still in pain, but she looked much more relaxed.
Alice was suddenly overwhelmed with a feeling of affection and nostalgia. Henry would never again be in this place, where just holding her newborn baby was a terrifying thought. The weight of responsibility would never be as heavy, the fears as large. From this moment on, Henry would never experience pregnancy and birth as a mystery. Alice closed her eyes, praying that Henry could let go of the terror of the unknown and experience the awe of the moment. Please God, don’t let fear steal her joy.
“Thank you,” Henry said. “I feel calmer. Still scared but… it’s not goin to be the end of the world.”
“I will be there as much as you need me to be.” Alice looked at Aurora playing in the little kitchen. “Of course, I may have to bring along some company.”
Henry laughed for the first time since they’d sat down. “I wouldn’t expect anything less.” Her smile faded a little. “I hate asking for help, but I just know I’m going to do everything wrong.”
“You’re not.” Alice leaned forward a little, forcing Henry to meet her eyes. “You are a strong, capable woman who is going to be a fantastic mother. What you experienced as a child doesn’t predict your ability to mother a baby. Believe me, I know.”
Henry nodded. “Thank you,” she said again.
Alice sat back, patting Elizabeth’s little bottom as she nursed. She never would have guessed that Henry was having a crisis of confidence. The woman was smart, beautiful, and worked hard to handle every situation coming her way. But Alice also felt a surge of guilt for not considering it before that moment. A woman without a mother experienced a lot of emotions as she became a mother herself. She should have been watching, listening. She’d failed Henry as a friend.
***
Henry tried to get control over her emotions. She couldn’t believe she’d burst out sobbing in front of Alice and Aurora. She’d been crying a lot, but she tried not to let anyone see her pity parties. She shifted in her chair again, rubbing her stomach. After tripping down the steps, her whole body felt like one big strain. Gideon was so worried about her, she hadn’t wanted to mentioned anything but her ankle, but her back was aching with every movement.
Until Winter Comes Again: (An Inspirational Contemporary Romance) (Cane River Romance Book 6) Page 12