Pieces of Hope

by Carter, Carolyn

  Sure enough, it was just as she had said. Passengers walked through the open door of the idle bus, up the three steps, down the aisle—and vanished!

  “Oh, there is one little thing . . .” Creesie’s smile drifted, her pleasant tone turning somber. “Remember that while you have separated from your body, the same isn’t true for Ethan. Almost no harm can come to you. But for the visited, that isn’t the case.”

  Ethan and harm and visited swirled in my head. Though I tried to look calm, my heart was pounding out a new rhythm. I could hear it thumping wildly in my chest.

  Creesie took a deep breath, and though I hadn’t any idea of what she was about to say, the hair on the back of my neck rose in anticipation. “When we visit, the living are actually closer to the place where we dwell—that is to say, a bit closer to the Station—rather than the world where they dwell. That said, I would caution you to take care that nothing happens to Ethan during your visit. If it did . . .”

  Her voice trailed off, but I heard the rest of the sentence in my head.

  “There would be repercussions when he woke?” I winced. Just the idea of causing Ethan pain gave me a physical reaction. “But won’t he just be dreaming? Surely, no one can be harmed from a dream!”

  “Not from your average dream, no.” Creesie took my hands in hers. It slowed my pounding heart. “But this isn’t merely a dream, Hope. It’s a soul-to-soul visit.”

  I shook my head. This couldn’t be happening. Here was the dreaded catch.

  “Because you’ve physically separated from your body, your soul will be visiting Ethan’s soul. Unlike dreams, a soul-to-soul visit will make perfect sense. It’s sequential and highly detailed—the colors, the scents, the sounds—the way it makes you feel. It’s so vivid that the dreamer will believe it’s real.” She smiled, edging into my thoughts. “And that’s because it is real. We may reside on another plane of existence a dimension or two outside of the living realm, but without question, this world is real . . . As real as love or hope or joy. As real as you or me . . .”

  Great! Other than getting there and back, I now had a million other worries. What exactly was this world’s definition of harmful? If Ethan were injured during my visit, what would be the consequences when he awoke? Other possibilities loomed in my mind—and I cringed. Could he die? Was that possible? Then again, as Creesie had made abundantly clear, nearly anything was possible here.

  More questions than answers collided in my thoughts, but before I could ask any of them, a pair of small but strong hands shoved me through the glass. “Your mother was right about one thing,” Creesie said cheerily from the other side. “You worry too much!”

  She was talking about life and death—Ethan’s! Of course, I was worried!

  Creesie shooed me with her hands. Her effervescent smile returned. “Go on now! And try to have a wonderful time. I’ll be waiting in the café when you get back.”

  Inhaling a steadying breath, I stepped cautiously down the aisle, picturing only Ethan, imagining his silky voice in my head. Creesie was wrong about one thing. In ways I’d never dreamt of—ways I preferred never to think of—I was far more breakable than she could possibly imagine . . . if harm ever came to Ethan. In some forgotten part of my soul, I knew this to be true.

  6 Heaven’s Peak

  “Watch where you’re going, Hope!”

  Brody Alexander shouted from the passenger seat. He yanked the steering wheel of the Jeep, guiding it safely between the yellow lines as I looked on helplessly from the driver’s side.

  I glanced quickly in the rearview mirror and caught a glimpse of Ethan’s stunning face. He didn’t look half as alarmed as Brody seemed to be, and not one-tenth as alarmed as I was. So much for listening to Creesie’s warning about soul-to-soul visits. I’d almost killed Ethan and Brody—and I’d only just arrived!

  “Did you forget you were driving or something?” Brody was looking at me like I was an idiot. I gave him the same look back.

  “No, of course not!” I huffed, trying to figure out how Brody had entered Ethan’s dream. “Where’re we headed, anyway?” I jerked the wheel back from Brody, and seeing the speedometer nearing eighty, I eased off the accelerator. We dropped quickly in speed, and slowly, my heart rate did the same.

  “Jeez, Hope . . . we’re going climbing. Ethan’s pick, remember?” A smile slipped across Brody’s face as he regained his sense of humor. “Or . . . were you too busy staring into Ethan’s big green eyes to hear me?”

  I didn’t wish to dignify his sarcasm with a comment, or maybe I just knew he was right. As calmly as I could, I said, “Of course I remember. We’re going to—to—”

  Brody chuckled. “I knew you weren’t listening. Ethan’s found a crag near Rooster Rock State Park that we’ve never seen. Ring any kind of bells?” he teased, alluding I was sure, to the wedding variety. “Or have you suddenly contracted old-timer’s?”

  “Alzheimer’s,” I corrected, slipping into my usual role. “And no, my memory’s as good as ever. Unlike you, I’ve got a lot on my mind!” Like saving your skinny butt. “Now shut up and let me drive, will you?”

  I stared a little too long at Brody, but thankfully, I stayed between the lines and he was too busy messing with the radio to even notice. I couldn’t get over how much he had changed. His eyes were alight from the inside, and a yellowish shimmer bounced around him. Was this Brody’s happy-go-lucky soul? If so, I now understood why Claire needed to be with him, and why I would do everything in my power to keep them together.

  Brody finally settled on a classic rock station, and an old tune from Boston blared through the speakers. Feverishly, he pounded out a riff on his impressive air-guitar, eyes closed in concentration. I beamed at the sight of him—yellow glow and all—realizing for the first time what an incredible friend he was and how much I had missed him.

  The blue sky overhead seemed almost transparent as we drove down I-84 with the Columbia River roaring alongside us. The sun bathed everything in a warm light, and by the looks of the trees, it was sometime in the late fall. It was the most perfect day I could have imagined, or rather, since this was Ethan’s subconscious—his very best day—and I hoped it wasn’t going away anytime soon.

  I had so many questions for Ethan, but they all got stuck in my throat and refused to come out. Had it been just the two of us, the words might have come easier, but I was glad that Brody was here as well. He buffered some of the tension—not a lot—but some. So instead of opening my mouth and saying something stupid, I relegated myself to long glances in the rearview where Ethan’s limpid eyes studied me. Though I knew the reason why he stared, the intensity of his gaze made me self-conscious. His eyes seemed to look right through me. Even so, I couldn’t stop myself from staring back with equal interest.

  We exited at Corbett, and then looped around a curvy back road for several miles when Ethan suddenly told me to stop. Before I could grasp what he was doing, he jumped out of the backseat and pushed open a black metal gate with a small sign proclaiming no admittance.

  Weeds stood thick along the narrow road. No one appeared to have traveled down it in some time, but two thin strips of gravel left a clear trail to follow. I eyed Ethan with suspicion, but the unexpected return of his smile only encouraged me on. Once he’d shut the gate behind us, I slipped the Jeep into four-wheel drive, and edged cautiously up the trail. Almost immediately, pine trees flanked us on all sides, blocking our view of anything but their presence and the winding road before us. The higher we twisted, the more they took on an otherworldly feel—like freakish giants from a faraway kingdom. As they grew, so did the wind. Up and up and up we went. Many heart stopping hairpin turns later, the road came to an abrupt end.

  I slammed on the brakes. We were in a small clearing at the very top of the bluff, barely large enough to turn the vehicle around. I feared careening off the side, killing my best friend and my dark-haired fairy tale with one misstep.

  “Be careful, there isn’t a guardrail,” called
a deep voice behind me. Then, “Would you like some help?” The sound of Ethan’s voice caused shivers to shoot down my spine. In my panic to keep him safe, I’d nearly forgotten he was seated right behind me.

  “No, it’s okay,” I panted, slightly out of breath. “I think I’ve got it.” But before I had even yanked up the emergency brake, unlatched my seat belt, or shut off the engine, Brody released the hatch to unload the gear and Ethan leaped out with him. I sat there for a few minutes longer, double-checking for the first aid kit under the seat.

  “What’s gotten into you? Ethan’s waiting for you near the crag.” Brody grunted as he lifted a pack. “Are you on somebody’s hit list?” He snickered as I sneered into the rearview mirror at him. Maybe I was overdoing it. A little.

  “Hope, over here!” Ethan called. “There’s a reason I brought you all this way.” It was the first time I’d heard that much joy in his voice and it left me speechless to think I might be the cause of it.

  I met him on a rocky ledge jutting thirty feet off the side of the bluff. Stepping onto it was like staring down the gang plank of a pirate’s ship. Though it wasn’t nearly as narrow—wide enough for four people to stand side by side—a few missteps and you’d never return in one piece. The surrounding valley didn’t boast of sharks, but the peak sheared straight down, sharp and jagged: teeth of an entirely different kind.

  While I’d been told that nothing could harm me here, I wasn’t quite ready to test my new immortality, or Ethan’s lack thereof. The more I stared off the side of that crag, the more I realized the possible repercussions. Could Ethan have picked a worse place for us to visit? Thinking of the numerous—and horrific—possibilities, I shuddered.

  “Don’t be afraid,” Ethan said, misreading my fear. He lowered his voice so much that he forced me to come closer. “I wanted you to see the most beautiful place on earth. It’s a little place I like to call Heaven’s Peak.”

  He failed to reach for my hand and I sighed with relief; I didn’t trust my reactions around him. I seemed to vibrate from the inside, and my hands trembled. If I accidentally jerked, we could both plummet off the side. Sensing my hesitation, Ethan stepped back, allowing me plenty of space to step forward. Spreading my feet shoulder-width apart for balance, I stood alone at the edge for a moment. From here, the sky looked close enough to touch. Its postcard blue emptiness and wispy clouds enveloped me. The wind whipped my hair, pressing itself upon me from every direction. I felt like a tiny bird about to test its wings for the first time. And then I looked down.

  The bluff descended into a lush valley rimmed by a thick forest of pines, firs, and maples that seemed to be on fire. Shades of cinnamon and scarlet lit up the valley as far as the eye could see. The sight of it stole my breath away.

  “Amazing, isn’t it? If you stand here long enough, it will start to feel like the wind blows through you instead of against you.” Ethan sounded awed. “Do you feel it?”

  Glancing sideways as he joined me, I definitely felt it, but it had little to do with the wind. That same invisible force I had sensed at the hospital was pulsing at me again.

  I took advantage of the moment to gaze at Ethan through my new eyes. His whole body seemed illuminated by the sun—skin like glistening honey, shades of gold running through his dark hair, green eyes with honeyed flecks that danced in the daylight. No one would deny that Ethan’s looks caused heads to turn in the living realm. But here, he left me breathless, words failing in their description of him. Human eyes weren’t accustomed to seeing the beauty of a soul, Creesie had said. Well, this was going to take some time to get used to—along with some concentrated breathing in and out.

  Without knowing it, Ethan summed up my thoughts perfectly. ‘“God’s gifts put man’s best dreams to shame.’”

  “That’s beautiful,” I choked. I knew he was referring to our view, but I threw him into the mix as well. A girl’s best dreams couldn’t possibly compare.

  “Elizabeth Barrett Browning,” he told me, looking out toward the valley. “I guess you could say I’m part geek.”

  With the wind whipping against my ears, I swore he’d said Greek and told him I loved their food. Confusion quickly turned to embarrassment when I realized my mistake. “Me, too,” I said at last. “Obviously . . .”

  Ethan aimed a full-on smile at me, and I was thankful my knees were locked or I might have toppled over the side of Heaven’s Peak. His smile was disarming. Rewarding, even. Given that I’d seen so few of them, it made me feel like I’d done something extraordinary.

  Brody was still pulling gear from the Jeep, and Ethan and I joined him. Part of our climbing routine involved safety first, but that didn’t imply that as a superhero inductee—aka, newly detached soul—I couldn’t show off a little. Monkeys had nothing on me when it came to the subject of climbing.

  “What’s the dealio?” Brody asked Ethan as he pulled out several long ropes.

  “We’re going to rap down and then climb back up,” Ethan said casually.

  “Dude, you’re crazy!” Brody raised his open palm, waiting for the smack. “I love it! It’s better than Annihilation Spire!”

  “Crazy is right! That can’t be safe!” I said with disapproval, my heart racing at the idea of sliding down such a treacherous crag. But I wasn’t frightened because Brody and I had never rappelled; it was because Ethan and Brody might break their silly necks. On an average day, rapping was dangerous. Doing it in this place was downright stupid. Just the idea of relying on a single rope, a nylon harness, and a puny braking device made me sick for both of them.

  I realized my error when Brody burst out laughing. For all they knew, I might as well have announced a fear of tiny leprechauns.

  “It’s not as treacherous as it looks,” Ethan assured me with a half-grin.

  Though he meant well, his concern only caused my blood to boil. I wasn’t afraid of anything; I was afraid for them. But how was I supposed to tell Ethan that? He wasn’t going to believe me . . . especially now, tiny leprechauns and all.

  Ethan’s voice was the epitome of calm. “Hope, I’ve rapped this several times. I’ll tie a fixed line from one of those pines, and then it’s a straight shot to a ledge about sixty meters down. There’s a fair amount of holds for the return climb. I’d say it’s about a 5.8.”

  According to the Yosemite decimal system, a 5.0 was almost like climbing a set of stairs. The higher the second number indicated smaller and smaller holds. Maybe it wasn’t as dangerous as I’d first thought.

  “Shouldn’t be a problem for you, you’re part arachnid, I can tell.” Ethan was still wearing that contented half-grin. Given my flurry of emotions, I couldn’t be certain, but I detected a hint of sarcasm.

  “Part monkey,” I corrected, biting my lip. To my surprise, his smile widened.

  To avert Ethan’s intense gaze, I glanced to the pines he had spoken of. My hands trembled like an old lady’s with Parkinson’s, but I knew it was more than the upcoming rap that was causing it. When I stared back at the source my jitters, Ethan looked cooler than the breeze that blew my hair around.

  “Outrageous!” Brody howled as he returned from the peak. “Wait till Claire hears about this!” Reaching for his pack, he grabbed a change of clothes, then ran into a stand of trees. Just a few feet away, Ethan remained stock-still, eyeing me as if he were waiting on something. What? Was he expecting a high-five from me, too?

  I delayed, but couldn’t take the predator-stare thing another second.

  “It’s safe?” I finally asked, irritated. Rescuing people from their own bad choices was more difficult than I had anticipated. “Please don’t die on me. I’d feel terrible if you did, you know . . . quite terrible.”

  “You’d feel quite terrible?” Ethan grinned, shook his head. “Well, since you put it that way, I’ll be quite careful.”

  Nope, I wasn’t mistaken. Definite sarcasm.

  “Promise me,” I begged, ignoring his tone.

  Ethan looked into my eyes, and in the lo
west tone humanly imaginable, he uttered sincerely, “I’d do anything for your happiness, Hope. Anything at all.”

  Although I wasn’t in my body at the moment, it felt like I was. My heart stopped, then started up again. I really needed to sit down and hold onto something—or someone. It was Ethan’s words that had triggered it. Where had I heard them before? I wracked my brain for answers, but the pieces wouldn’t come. Ethan came toward me then and froze, as if the questions racing in my mind had now jumped into his. The confusing mixture of emotions I was feeling was plainly visible on Ethan’s face—bewilderment, surprise, and something else I couldn’t quite place.

  “Are you guys okay?” Brody shouted from behind a huge pine. “You both look a little lovesick. Do you need some privacy? If so, I can take a—”

  “What—no! We’re fine! Fine!” I muttered. Whatever I was wondering vanished; I now focused on strangling Brody. “We’re talking about the rap!” Then, under my breath, I whispered to Ethan, “My happiness requires you to be alive. Dying won’t earn you any brownie points. Remember, you promised to be careful!”

  Sighing, he breathed, “Hope Valenti, you do have the strangest little mind.”

  It was all I could do to not to thump him on the forehead. Little and strange?

  By the time slowpoke Brody returned from the woods, we had already changed into our loose-fitting shorts and tees, slipped on our sticky rubber climbing shoes, and finished setting up the rap. From the sturdiest pine, Ethan had tied a fixed line using a figure-eight knot on a bite, and added a double fisherman for safety. I gave it a hearty tug. Twice.

  Brody and I watched intently as Ethan demonstrated the process of rapping down. After pinching the rope, he then pushed it through the rappelling device before attaching it to his climbing harness with a carabiner—a metal D-shaped link. I avoided thinking of what would happen if the link slipped, or the knots failed, concentrating solely on the fact that Ethan had done this before. Many, many times.