Love Charms

by Multiple

  Just as I’m about to turn and leave, the man approaches me. He left the book at the library table and it’s just him. He smiles, sees me, and then stops smiling. Face contorted, confused, lips pursed, he stares at me.

  I don’t know what to say. I try to leave, try to turn away from him, but the world is such a mess and I can’t seem to figure out which way is which.

  I fall. My foot catches on the edge of the turnstile and I begin to topple backwards.

  This is going to hurt. I don’t know how much I’ll feel, but I know it’ll happen. I look up, somber, watching the ceiling as my body seems to crash backwards in slow motion. Everything seems slow when you don’t want it to happen. Slow, but that doesn’t mean you can change anything. You have to watch it, wait for it, feel anxiety and fear in the pit of your stomach as your heart races and you worry.

  I fall, but he catches me.

  *

  Evan didn’t expect the woman to be a zombie. He didn’t even want to call her that, but he didn’t know what other word to use. It seemed like a type of racism to him, though. If he said something like that would she be offended?

  Casual, Evan, he told himself. Act casual. She wasn’t trying to eat him, which was good. He didn’t actually know how that worked, since he tried to never to put himself in that kind of situation, but the stories people told back at his camp were never good. Vicious, vile things, creatures of death and anger, chasing people through the streets, and if they caught you…

  Everyone knew what happened if they caught you. It was no secret. Evan disliked it, didn’t want to believe it, but he knew, too. He’d seen it happen once from far away. But why?

  This woman didn’t do that, though. She wasn’t chasing him and she had no horde of followers intent on trapping him in the library. She was just herself and he’d asked her to come inside. He’d waved, friendly, gestured her in, then went back to reading. He’d invited her here, and she came. There was nothing wrong with that.

  She looked so uncomfortable, though. Pale, blue skin and a worried look on her face. Grabbing the turnstile at the entrance to the library, she tried to turn around, maybe to leave, but she slipped.

  Fuck! Evan ran. He had time, they weren’t too far apart, and he just barely made it. Jumping the last few feet, he caught her in his arms and fell with her, softening her fall with his body. They lay in a heap on the floor.

  Evan laughed. “Sorry about that,” he said. “I didn’t mean to startle you.”

  His hand touched the side of her arm and she was soft to the touch. And cold. Not too cold, but noticeably cool. He eased her off of him slowly and stood up, reaching a hand out to help her up. She stared at him from the ground, looking at him funny.

  *

  I fell but he caught me.

  So tight and close, he must have jumped to reach me in time. He looked athletic from afar, more than capable of dashing forward and catching someone, but I honestly didn’t know why he did it. I was so grateful, though. I wanted to cry for another reason now, but it felt so silly and inconsequential.

  He touched me, too.

  It sounded bad in my head when I thought of it like that, but that was exactly what he did. His gentle, warm hands held onto the side of my arms, rubbing up and down, relaxing me. His heat was like a blazing furnace to my cool body. I felt alive and warm under his touch, so wonderful and amazing. I knew this was how the others felt, why they rushed towards people in a frenzy when they saw them, but I’d never felt it before myself.

  He helped me off of him and stood at my side, smiling at me. Reaching out his hand, he wanted to help me up. I stared at him, still feeling his warmth, curious and contented.

  Like them, all I needed to do was grab his hand. He looked strong, but if I caught him off guard while he helped me up I could squeeze his hand tight in mine and pull him back to the ground. His throat seemed to shine like some bright beacon. If I scratched, bit, killed…

  I took his offered hand and held onto it tight and let him help me up off the ground. He smiled at me more and moved in close.

  “Are you alright?” he asked.

  I squeezed his hand and pulled him towards me. He came readily, watching me with interest. Lifting his hand up, I placed it on the side of my cheek.

  Fire!

  My cheek melted under his touch, feeling so wonderful and warm. I held his hand against my cheek and smiled at him.

  “Thank you,” I said. “You’re so kind.”

  My eyes started to tear up and I knew I couldn’t help myself anymore. Why was I crying? So dumb and silly, but I didn’t think I could stop myself if I tried. He grinned and wiped the tears away from my eyes with his other hand. Warm, like the heat from a sauna, a few stray tears slipped down my cheeks, but he wiped those away, too.

  “You’re—” he said, pausing, brow furrowed. “Different.”

  “I’m a zombie,” I said, feeling like we should get that out of the way.

  “I didn’t want to say that because it sounds prejudiced,” he said with a chuckle. “I can call you that if you want, but maybe… do you have a name?”

  “Sadie,” I whispered. I hadn’t used my name in so long, hadn’t heard anyone call me that in months, but I liked it. I loved my name and wanted him to say it all of a sudden.

  He did. My name slipped out of his lips like a liturgy during Sunday mass. “Sadie,” he said, grinning. “It’s nice to meet you. I’m Evan.”

  I wasn’t crying anymore, merely staring at him with rapt fascination. The hand he’d used to wipe away my tears reached out. I accepted it, shook it, and held it tight, not wanting to let go. I did, though, I let him go. Bright tingles of warmth tickled through my fingertips and fingers, centered in my palm, so delightful.

  “Do you want to come sit with me?” he asked.

  I nodded, having no idea what to say to him.

  “Would you mind, um…?”

  I still held his other hand against my face, reveling in his warmth. He gently moved his fingertips, caressing my cheek.

  “Oh,” I said. “Oh, I’m sorry.” Reluctantly, I let him go.

  He took my hand, though; he didn’t let me go completely. I held his hand as he led me towards his spot in the library. At that moment, I thought I would have followed him anywhere if only he kept holding me. The glimmering afterglow of his hand against my cheek felt magnificent, and the constant, cozy warmth of his hand holding mine was pure bliss.

  We sat. He helped me into a chair and then he sat in the one next to me.

  “You’re cold,” he said.

  I frowned. “I know. I don’t mean to be. I hope it’s alright.”

  “No, no.” He shook his head. “I just… I don’t know why I said that. Does it hurt?”

  “Does what hurt?” I asked. I felt lightheaded and happy, despite the fact he wasn’t touching me anymore. His lingering warmth kept me feeling nice, like I’d just eaten half a can of molten hot soup and settled into my bed back home with my book.

  “Well, I’m warm and you’re cold. Was my hand too hot? You looked—”

  “No!” I said in a panic. “No, no. Oh God, no. You… um…”

  He smiled and scooted his chair closer to me, right next to mine. “What?” he asked. “You can say it. It’s alright.”

  He touched me again. Both his hands reached for one of mine and he held my hand loosely in his own. I relished it and my eyes rolled into the back of my head. My body felt near orgasmic, alive, ecstatic. This was so remarkable and new to me and…

  He let go of my hand. “Are you alright?” he asked, startled. He grabbed his medical book, looked at it, shook his head, and slid it away as he stood up. “Are you in shock? I can help you. I used to be an EMT. I don’t have any medical equipment here, but hold on, Sadie. Everything’s going to be alright. Just…”

  I stared at him, blinking, then I laughed.

  He looked at me with the funniest expression of confusion I thought I’d ever seen. “Sadie?”

  “Ohhh.”
I grabbed his hand and pulled him back into his chair. “No. I’m fine. You’re just so warm.”

  “Oh,” he said.

  “It feels nice,” I said. “I like it.” For good measure, I added, “I’m not trying to come on to you. I’m sorry if it sounds that way.”

  “Oh,” he said. “No, that’s fine? Huh. So you like the warmth?”

  “Yes.” I nodded. “A lot.”

  “Why are you so cold?” he asked. “Is it because…?”

  Because I was a zombie. That’s what he wanted to ask, I could tell, but I appreciated him being nice about it. “Yes,” I said. “I think so. We’re all like this. Me and the others.”

  The others, I thought. I was one of them and Evan wasn’t. He was someone else far apart from what I was or what they were. I didn’t know if I really belonged here talking with him. I didn’t know if it would cause issues with him, either. Did he have someone waiting somewhere? Would they know he’d talked with me? If I stayed near him, would he turn into a zombie too?

  “I want to help,” he said all of a sudden, snapping me away from my depressing thoughts.

  “What do you mean?” I asked.

  “There’s something wrong. I don’t know what it is, and I don’t know if anyone knows, but there’s something wrong with…”

  He paused. I finished his sentence for him. “With me.”

  “No!” Evan stared at me hard. I could see the fire in his eyes like the warmth in his hands, steady and fierce. He touched me, placed his hand on my cheek again. “Ugh. I’m not good at this. I don’t know how to say it. There’s nothing wrong with you or anyone, Sadie. But… what’s happened? Yes. What’s happened isn’t your fault, or anyone’s fault, really. I want to fix it. I don’t know how, or if I can, but I want to try.”

  I stared at him, more attentive than I’d felt in months. The look in his eyes, the way he kept his hand pressed against my cheek, his steady demeanor and his refusal to back down; it captivated me. Pulsing, matching the rhythm of his heartbeat, waves of incandescent heat spread from his hand to me. I held my hands against the back of his, worrying he might let go of my cheek if I didn’t.

  “I would like to think you can,” I said. “I don’t know how you would, though. I’m not sure it’s possible.”

  Evan nodded. “I don’t know, either. I’ve been studying, though. See?” He grabbed his book with his free hand and showed it to me: Robbins Pathologic Basis for Disease. “Not that, um, you have a disease or anything. I found the medical student curriculum in one of the offices here and this book was on the required reading list.”

  “Are you a doctor?” I asked.

  “No. Not quite. I’m an EMT. Or…” He paused and looked at me with a strained look for a moment. Not quite at me, though, but past me. Through me. “I was an EMT. I’m not sure there’s really such a thing anymore, though. I wanted to go to medical school and become a doctor. Or maybe a PA. I didn’t have a chance before everything kind of went crazy. That doesn’t mean I can’t still do it, though. It won’t be the same, but…”

  “You’re brave,” I said. “It doesn’t matter if you can’t technically do it. I think you’re very brave for wanting to do it anyways.”

  He smiled. “Thanks.”

  I felt shy, unsure if I should do this, but I decided to go for it. Leaning towards him, I kissed his cheek.

  I nearly fell out of my chair, paralyzed by the feeling of his warmth against my lips. My body froze, tightened, and I couldn’t move away. Nor did I want to move away. The heat, the pleasure, from something so simple as a kiss on the cheek exploded inside me like a fiery blaze.

  “Sadie?” Evan said; but I was somewhere far away and couldn’t hear him. “Sadie! Sadie, are you alright?”

  He pulled me away and held my shoulders, looking hard at me. With my lips gone from his cheek, I felt some semblance of regularity returning. I’d felt imbalanced while kissing him, knocked out of equilibrium, like gravity had ceased to exist and I was falling forever.

  “I don’t think I should kiss you,” I said, laughing, giddy.

  “Oh?” He smirked. “Why not?”

  “That was very strong. I felt heat—a lot of heat—and it felt nice but I couldn’t think straight for a second. I’ve never felt that way before.”

  “That’s curious,” he said. “I wonder… what if I kiss you?”

  I didn’t know. I didn’t know but I wanted to know. I was no stranger to kissing, but I hadn’t ever kissed someone like that before. Who knew that a casual, thankful kiss on the cheek could feel so passionate? That was the only word I could think to describe it, like the fire of pure arousal licking at my lips.

  “Sorry,” Evan said. “I didn’t mean that in a flirtatious way. I was just thinking out loud. Hypothesizing, if you will. I do that a lot now. Trial and error, right? It’s a good way to educate yourself as long as you’re careful.”

  “Oh,” I said. I wanted him to kiss me now, though. Was he going to?

  He gazed at me, into me. Our eyes met. I hoped he saw something nice in my eyes, something he liked. I definitely liked his eyes. They were a sharp, piercing blue and reminded me of something I’d seen recently, but I couldn’t quite remember what.

  Bang! Bang! Slam!

  Jumping up, startled, I looked towards the front of the library where the noise came from. Evan stood with me, taking a place right next to me.

  Staring at us through the library’s front windows was a small group of the others. They slammed on the windows, trying to crack them open and break in. If they kept it up, they probably would, too.

  “They shouldn’t be in here,” I said. “How did they get in? There’s a chain on the front gates.”

  Evan sighed. “I broke the lock to get in here. I thought if I left the chain in place no one would notice. I guess that didn’t work out.”

  “I know you want to help them,” I said. Forcing myself to focus through the intense warmth, I placed my hands on Evan’s face and made him look at me. “You need to run, though. They want to kill you.”

  “I know,” he said. “It’s alright.”

  Dashing a few steps away, leaving me cold and alone, Evan ducked under the library table and grabbed something from beneath it. When he returned and stood up, he held a crossbow and an arrow quiver full of bolts in his hands.

  My mind reeled and I stared at him, conflicted. “Evan, you can’t. Please, don’t kill them. You need to run to safety.”

  He flashed me a grin while strapping the quiver and crossbow to his back. “No one’s going to get hurt,” he said. Without warning, he swooped forward and took my hand in his. “Let’s go.”

  “What do you mean let’s go?” I asked.

  I asked him this, but I was already going with him. Evan ran through the library towards the back entrance with me in tow, squeezing my hand for good measure. My legs felt slow and unsteady, but he helped me whenever I took a bad step and nearly slipped. I followed him like a ship guided by a lighthouse, the ever-present heat of his fingers offering me a breadcrumb trail out of this screwed up fairytale forest.

  Peeking over my shoulder, I saw the others chasing us. One of them stood at the window still, slapping on it with his bare hands, but the remaining four must have found the front entryway into the library. They hobbled past the turnstile, getting stuck in its slim path, but not for long. One made it through, then another, the third and fourth. None of them waited for each other, though.

  They ran towards us in a shambling, awkward gait. The look of confusion on their faces contrasted with the decisive look in their eyes. They didn’t want me—I was nothing but competition to them—but Evan’s blazing heat was like the promise of a goldrush in their minds.

  I understood now; I did. I resisted the urge to partake in the barbaric, seemingly-mindless onslaught of the others, though, no matter how many times I saw it or heard it nearby. Confused and lost, I wanted to retain whatever part of me I could. I wanted to care and have concern no matter how broken a
nd defeated I was.

  Others wanted to feel alive. The touch of warm skin igniting life inside of them, bringing them some semblance of normalness back to their cool, clumsy bodies. Strong thoughts and feelings, sensations and emotions, they wanted all of it.

  I wanted it, too. Evan ran side by side with me, holding my hand, while the noisy clatter of his crossbow rang through the air and gave away our every move. All the others needed to do was listen for a moment and they’d know where we went, whether we lost sight of them or not. We needed to go faster, but I couldn’t.

  Evan could, I knew. If he let go of my hand he could flee to safety without worry. Even if he didn’t know about the trees in the courtyard and how the college students here used to use them to sneak out at night, he should be fine running to the front gates and leaving the way he came in. If I let him go, if he ran faster, he’d be free.

  He held my hand loosely, running with me, but I stopped and let his hand go. That was it, I thought. I expected to see him continue running towards the rear entrance and out into the open air, but he didn’t. He stopped and turned around, looking at me with a puzzled expression.

  “Go,” I said. “You can get away if you leave me here. They won’t hurt me. I’ll be fine.”

  “I’m sure you will,” he said, smiling. He took my hand in his again and squeezed it tight. “Come on. I have an idea.”

  “Didn’t you hear me?” I said. Looking back, I saw the others gaining on us. I stood in place, thinking to force Evan to leave me, fighting against his gentle tugs.

  “I heard you fine, Sadie. I just don’t like your plan. Why not try going along with mine?”

  He looked at me, smiling, not moving now. We just stood there quietly while the others threatened to catch up to us. I turned and looked and saw the nearest one only a few long library table’s lengths away. Our chaser stumbled towards us, persevering despite the difficulty.

  Evan tugged my hand lightly once more and this time I went with him.